Pregnancy and childbirth are almost always associated with considerable stress for the mother-to-be, and this is entirely reasonable. The internet is full of stories about pregnant ladies’ various hilarious whims regarding food and whatnot – but their husbands, in fact, sometimes aren’t any less weird.
Still don’t believe me? Then please feel free to just read this collection of stories about the various strange things men did while their partners were pregnant or in labor, made specially for you by Bored Panda!
More info: Reddit
#1
Apparently eating fried chicken while your wife is giving birth is frowned upon…I hadn’t eaten in like 24 hours, and I am not squeamish. Doctor was not impressed, so I threw it out promptly. Baby is born, all checks done, and the wife is doing good….she turns to me and says, you should go get some more chicken, I know you are still hungry. One of the many reasons I love that woman.
Image source: Mr_Drewski, Towfiqu Barbhuiya
#2
About three weeks before my son’s due date my wife got the nesting urge really hard. She knew she was being a little unreasonable but she was really stressed about it, so I complied to help her feel better.
So all weekend I was doing every last thing, getting the nursery ready, re-arranging furniture for better flow with a crawling baby, and finally hanging two ceiling fans. Anyone who has hung ceiling fans knows that while one person can theoretically do it, you really need two people. Well I did them both by myself.
With both of them hung I had to tap out. I was totally out of gas, and thankfully my wife said that was ok. She was pissed I wanted to stop, but understood.
Then this pain that I had in my stomach area kinda got worse. Like it started as a cramp and then all of a sudden its the worse pain imaginable. Like I can’t breath from the pain in my sides and stomach, and there is no body position that makes it better.
So I go the hospital. After 5 hours in the ER they tell me it could be a bunch of stuff, but they don’t run the imaging lab on Sunday nights at 11pm. So I go home with a mitt full of d***s and an appointment for an ultrasound the next day.
The next morning the area is really sore and I have two attacks within an hour of being awake, so I decide to not go to work and keep my ultrasound appointment. My wife coincidentally had an appointment at the hospital related to her pregnancy.
At 1pm, I’m messaging her because they’ve just told me I need my appendix removed because its about to burst.
My wife found me and said that her tests showed a rare condition that means she’ll need an emergency C-Section.
So we cried from the stress, and she went home to get ready for her surgery the next day.
I had my appendix removed at 8pm that night, and my wife had a c-section at 8am the next day. Thankfully I was only two floors away, so I was able to walk down there and be there for my son’s birth.
Not how we wanted to start parenthood, but we all made it and we’re doing great.
Image source: Ganglebot, Wavebreak Media
#3
My water broke at about 3am but I’m not one to freak out or rush so I let my husband sleep until 6am before I woke him up and told him we needed to get ready to go to the hospital . It was our first and it was 10 days early so we were not expecting it. His exact words were “Are you serious? Okay, I know this is bad timing, but can you cut my hair first?”.
Image source: Cloud13181, alexandrgrant
#4
I made my boyfriend buy jars and jars of pickles, while I was pregnant. When I ran out of pickles, I would get very distraught. Lol I even made him google if it was safe to drink the pickle juice while pregnant…. I disgust myself.
Image source: micmackpaddywhack, gpointstudio
#5
I was working out like crazy and dropped to 159lbs. My 8 month pregnant wife had just weighed in at 160lbs. I said “hey, you weigh more than me!”
Go directly to doghouse. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200..
Image source: SnoutInTheDark, Kamaleeon
#6
When my wife was pregnant with our first kid, she instructed me not to indulge her crazy needs. She warned me that she might have some weird cravings, but I was not to submit.
Couple of weeks into pregnancy, my wife told me she wants some olives. She could really have some olives. Not thinking twice, I grabbed a full jar (16ish oz) of olives and gave it to her. We continued merrily watching some movie and life was simple. About an hour later, my movie watching experience is being promptly ruined by my lovely wife projectile vomit what seemed to be a bucket load of half ingested olives across our bedroom. Of course, it was all my fault for letting her do that to herself.
Image source: mikey_croatia, Polina Tankilevitch
#7
I think I was about 8 months pregnant and after many atemps at rolling over in bed I finally managed it.
My husband laughs to himself and announces “thar she rolls.”.
Image source: dontwantanaccount, freepik
#8
True story…. I had worked 12 hour shifts for three days in a row. Night shift none the less.
I get home from work at 6:30 in the morning, take the daughter to school. Come home lie down in bed, my wife turns to me and says…”I think today might be the day” I go to sleep for maybe ten to twenty minutes. She says OMG my water broke. I tell her to get out of the bed so it isn’t like totally wet.
On the way to the hospital, remember I had just worked three twelve hour shifts. I turn to my wife and say “Do you mind if I stop at McDonalds?”
Suffice it to say I got a Sausage Egg and Cheese McMuffin.
But, I still hear about it regularly!
Image source: hottubcereal, Eduardo Ramos
#9
I asked my husband to get me some cocoa butter for my stretch marks.
An hour later he calls me and says, “I’ve looked in the candy section AND the dairy section. I cannot find the cocoa butter!” He sounded frustrated and tired, but I just did this ugly laugh cry thing.
I explained to him, between sons of laughter, that it was a LOTION. I was laughing because it was so funny, and crying because my stomach was itching like crazy and I needed relief.
Edit: SOBS of laughter.
Image source: spacetrashflying, New Africa
#10
My dad had just got a new car when my mum was due to have me and he turned on the heated seats while she was sitting in the passenger seat. She thought her water had broke.
Image source: kaianide23, diana.grytsku
#11
When my parents arrived at the hospital to give birth to me, the first thing my dad asked the nurse was “where’s the cafeteria?”
My mom was 9 cm dilated.
Image source: aycarumba_doh, romanzaiets
#12
Went out to a happy hour with buddies on a random Tuesday night(Wife approved btw). The hour turned into several hours. Get home around 12:30, wife wakes me up at 4:30 saying her water broke. I actually didn’t believe her, as her due date was a good 2-3 weeks out. I stared at the wet spot in the bed for quite a bit not wanting to believe what was happening. What a hangover in the hospital I felt like absolute s**t and everyone could tell. The bright lights and noise were helping a lot. One of the nurses even commented on how excited I looked(I was a complete zombie). That all changed once my daughter was born. What a surreal feeling that was. I cried really hard, it was weird. I had no inclination at all that was going to happen. What a roller coaster of feelings that day had in store for me.
Image source: pauleewalnuts, DC Studio
#13
It was right after she gave birth, not while she was pregnant. She was complaining about the boy feeding non-stop, and mentioned that he made her feel like a cow. That was when I learned ‘Mooooooo’ was not an appropriate response to that situation.
Image source: pro-amateur, Sarah Chai
#14
Not me but my father. His 6ish month pregnant wife (my mom) was trying on maternity clothing while he was waiting outside the dressing room. He says to the sales assistant “we have to go, it’s time for her feeding.” jokingly. Mom cried. Refused to leave the dressing room.
Image source: espressodepresso420, freepik
#15
Don’t make any plans in the 3rd trimester.
Friend of mine flew out to Switzerland to visit us and go snowboarding. Babies arrived the same day he did. Had to cancel the trip. I felt pretty bad, but he understood/had no choice.
But this is tame compared to the many friends I have that traveled abroad and missed the birth of their kids because they came early.
#16
My ex wife craved two things while pregnant with our daughter, Snickers bars and Smores Poptarts. So naturally, because I was a loving husband I would keep her bedside drawer stocked with these.
One day, after working a night shift, I decided “Hey, I could actually go for a Snickers” so I grabbed one, noticed there were still 4 left, and enjoyed it. From the screaming and resulting fight I’m sure the neighbors thought she had just caught me with a gaggle of hookers and blow. Nope, just one less Snickers in the drawer.
Image source: wiscowarrior71, Andrey Matveev
#17
When my Dad is nervous he throws up. The bigger the stress the worse the vomiting. So my Mums doctor said I needed to be induced. Dad threw up in the doctors office. Mum was admitted into hospital, Dad threw up driving her there and while she was being checked in. The pushing starts, Dads in scrubs, mask and a hat, throwing up in the background.
I get stuck, two doctors and a team of staff are trying to get me out. Dad alternates vomiting aggressively in a bucket and stroking my Mums hair.
I pop out, I’m alive and fine. I’m put in my Dad’s arms as they work on my Mum. My Dad throws up on me.
My Dad threw up on me at my birth.
Image source: paperconservation101, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#18
I was in hour 15 or 16 of a failed induction and they were talking about possibly needing a csection. My husband asks the OB if he has time to grab sushi from ghe cafeteria.
Image source: downwithwindows, korrawinj
#19
My dad switched to buying Prego pasta sauce when my mom was pregnant and thought it was hilarious.
Image source: Fasterry, Greta Hoffman
#20
My wife loves fried green beans pregnant or not. But when she was pregnant with our second child I fried 2 whole bags of them as our entire dinner. Later in the evening, we were taking a shower together and she proceeded to throw up fried green beans all over me…twice. I’m still gunshy around her in the shower.
Image source: VictorVonDoopressed
#21
My dad is a HAM. Not amateur, but all engrossing, passion of his life, needs-nothing-else like. On the day I was born he sent my mom alone to the hospital because he was talking to americans on the radio for the first time. (we were living in Russia, and this was all on a homemade antenna in the 90’s). So yeah, thanks dad.
Image source: skalafurey, toa55
#22
Oh f**k! I committed that cardinal sin of turning the thermostat up from 64 to 66 because Feb in WI.
This was a little over 8 years ago. I will never touch the d**n thing again, I will not put the app on my phone, I will not instruct Alexa or Siri or anyone/thing to make change to the temperature in the house or even in a hotel room we might stay at ever again. I am so mentally scared from this I am shaking just writing this.
I swear, out of the corner of my eye while I was being berated I saw a portal to hell open up and an army of demons started to craw out, took one look and noped the f**k back into hell. Mortal world, you’re welcome.
Image source: tardisBlueEyes, freepik
#23
Once, I tried to assert an opinion while my wife was expecting. Boy was that dumb.
Image source: DentedAnvil, wayhomestudio
#24
Speaking on behalf of my cousin. His wife was heavily pregnant with their first child and was downstairs in the kitchen, my cousin was in the bedroom. Being h***y he decided to put on p**n on his phone (figuring his wife wouldn’t be up for it) and forgot he had his phone synced up to his Bluetooth speaker set (which was downstairs).
He instantly caught on and turned it off, but hid in the bedroom for half an hour, then eventually came downstairs and when his wife asked him what he was doing he blurted out in embarrassment “I watching p**n alright?”.
Image source: Cyanide_Revolver, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#25
When my mom was pregnant with me, her water broke at around 2 AM. She woke up my dad saying he had to take her to the hospital. He then groaned, rolled out of bed, they went downstairs, and he began making himself a sandwich saying “the baby isnt popping out for another 12 or so hours, relax”. I was the 3rd child, so I guess he had a good idea about how long these things take.
Image source: mspaintthis, user20119892
#26
6 month pregnant wife was stuck at home after a snow storm. Day 3 she probably could have gone to work but I insisted for safety she stay home. Cabin fever set in. We had a weekend getaway plan but I had to get home from work before we could go.
Stopped at the father in law’s house to drop off some car parts. Had one drink with him… which turned into two… then three. I get home to a very angry wife who proceeds to accost me for drinking bourbon with her father while she’s stuck at home pregnant and can’t drink.
I responded… “I wasn’t drinking bourbon with your dad honey.”
[silence]
“I was drinking scotch”
[yelling intensifies].
Image source: JCoxRocks, stockieimage
#27
Not me, but when my mom was pregnant with me, she wanted an ice cream cake. No problem, except she wanted it from a local ice cream place that is a walk up and it was in a the middle of a blizzard. So my poor dad had to drive out in the middle of a blizzard to get an ice cream cake to a place that was probably closed. He doesn’t know how, but somebody was there and he got the cake.
#28
When the contractions started to hit, It was like 5am. I woke husband up and told him he wasn’t going to work that day. I said “It’s time.” …He rolled over and went back to sleep for an hour.
On the way to the hospital he wanted to stop for donuts.
Inside the hospital, after the epidural was given, we both took a 30min power nap.
During delivery he continuously laughed at the faces I made trying to push (and not knowing if anything was happening) this massive 8lb baby out.
…husband is an a*s.
Image source: vixiecat, wirestock
#29
I woke up one night to my 9-months-pregnant wife hitting me. Apparently, she had gotten up to go to the bathroom, and, upon returning to the bed, slipped off and stumbled until she caught herself on the nightstand. Half-awake me was heard to say “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down!”.
Image source: anon, Brooke Cagle
#30
We were about to sit down for dinner(spaghetti) and wife went into labor. Grabbed the baby-bugout-bag and sister in-law and off to the hospital. 10hrs later, no baby yet and I’m starving. I drive the SIL back to the house and right there on the table is my glorious bowl of spaghetti. I smash that s**t down and get seconds. Back to the hospital. Wife is really feeling pain now. I take 2 steps into the room, and she smells it. She must be part f*****g bloodhound. She glares at me in a way that chilled me to the core, like a rabid, wounded animal. “You. F*****g. Ate? I’m birthing your f*****g kid, and you’re eating spaghetti?” I looked to the doctor for help, but he just shook his head in disappointment. That’s when I knew I done f****d up.
Tldr: don’t eat food while wife is in labor, evidently.
Image source: Cpt_crookedhair, Dicemedia
#31
I’m a mom, not a father, but when I was about 8 months along my husband’s friend came to town. They hardly ever get to see each other. Friend asks my husband if he wants to go to a strip club. My husband’s other friend was like nooooooooo, don’t you dare ask your pregnant wife if you can go to a strip club!
My husband is an idiot, so he asks anyways. I’m like whatever, I have to get up to pee for like the 2,849th time at 3 am. Can you be home by then with some tacos from Taco Bell and some French fries from Checkers? I was super excited for this meal.
He decides he doesn’t want to go, it doesn’t feel right. I promptly burst into tears because does this mean I won’t get tacos and French fries?
Image source: DundieAwardWinner525
#32
I broke my arm about 2 months before girlfriend gave birth and due to reasons was still in pain.
Mid Labour, call it mid heavy contractions a fly lands on my bad arm and I twitch and flick it away. Fall on floor in pain. Gf and midwife have a look of contempt. Understandably, but it was super painful.
Image source: justhisguy-youknow
#33
Gone out at 11pm at night looking for Pickled onions. Nowhere was open, except a Kebab shop. They sold me a jar of Pickled onions for about 3 times the price of one in the supermarket.
Image source: anon
#34
Around her 6th month of pregnancy, my then girlfriend (now wife) and I got into a huge fight about something stupid that (should have) ended when she said “Oh, KISS MY A*S!” and started to walk away.
As she turned to walk away, I said, “Well, if you want to me to kiss your a*s, I appreciate the fact that you gave me such a big target to hit.”
I swear I felt my teeth rattle and my ears pop when she slapped me.
Image source: UncleJay74
#35
When my mother was giving birth to me my father ordered a pizza. And after I was born my mom was laying in the bed exhausted and she looks at my dad who with a full mouth asks her if she’d like a slice. She didn’t.
Image source: anon
#36
Wife wanted a treat from the local DQ–attentive husband that I am, I noticed it was mere minutes away from closing. I ran out the front door and jumped into the car and slammed the car door. Too quickly, it turns out. My head wasn’t all the way in the car yet and I shut the door on my ear. Exquisite, excruciating pain. Baby is almost 37 years old now and I’ve still never met anyone else who ever shut their ear in the car door. PS–Persisted through the pain and got wifey the desired treat. Still married!
Image source: Oregonguy1954
#37
Wife giving birth to our 1st kid on a Sunday afternoon in October. Yes, NFL season. While the baby is being delivered, the doctor, nurse, and I all turn around, (at the same time!), to see an exciting play by the Vikings vs the Bears. She still brings it up 18 years later…
Image source: sparky88xx
#38
Not one of my proudest moments.
I used to homebrew beer pretty frequently and had a couple taps at the house. I was kegging a batch and had a good bit left over, so I filled up a couple 1L soda bottles and used a carbonator cap to force carbonate them. About an hour later they’re cold and carbonated so I partook.
64oz is 4 pints, which is not nothing, but is usually enough to put me at a good buzz, not drunk. IIRC this was about a 5-6% ABV beer. I still don’t know the mechanics behind it, but these particular 64oz got me blackout s**t faced hammered and I passed out hard in bed.
My wife had been developing a scab on her forehead that a doctor misdiagnosed as a minor bacterial infection, and it was bugging her that night. As we later found out it was shingles, which is apparently brutally painful and she couldn’t take much for pain meds due to the pregnancy. On top of that my dumb a*s was unintentionally smashed and not at all helpful. Had I been in any normal state we would have gone to the hospital, but she had to suffer through it.
I believe she gave me a couple good punches (my arm hurt the next day) and called a physician friend to help figure out how to calm the pain down. I got a nasty hangover and a reminder for a while that I’m dumb. I still blame that magic super beer.
TLDR: Unintentionally made moonshine or something, got drunk, couldn’t help wife deal with misdiagnosed shingle head pain.
Image source: gl21133
Follow Us
