Nooooooooooo! Just like Rebecca Bunch I am not okay right now. This episode was planned long before the election results, but after this week it felt a little bit like knocking us “Grebecca” shippers while we were down. I get it, but it still hurts. I could go on indefinitely about my pain, but I’ll spare you and get to the actual recap.
Rebecca confronts Greg at the airport and finds out he’s going to Emory. She asserts seeing him on a bridge was a sign, which he wants to believe that but that’s not how things actually work. “Life doesn’t happen to you,” he says, “you make decisions.” When she questions why he left without saying goodbye, he says he would have stayed had he tried. Rebecca tries to convince him their relationship is worth saving, he admits he loves her but reminds her how terrible they are for each other. In fact, he sings, “It Was a Shit Show.” Rebecca looks devastated but lets him go into the light. Like seriously the sun was really bright at the top of that escalator.
Rebecca wallows on the couch, asking Paula what’s wrong with her. Paula tells Rebecca Greg was right, they were bad for each other. She commends Greg for making the step to move on. Rebecca wonders who she is without Greg or Josh. When Paula suggests she just be herself Rebecca responds with disgust. She claims Paula just doesn’t understand what it’s like to be at a crossroads. Oh narcissistic Rebecca. Instead of telling Rebecca the truth, Paula just agrees.
Back at her house, Paula expresses frustration with her son and her husband. Scott tries to calm her down and says she has “options” with the pregnancy, but she declines. He suggests she talk to Rebecca, but she doesn’t want to admit to Rebecca that she’s not going to law school and doesn’t want to bother her since she’s basically going through 2 breakups
Rebecca scrubs her kitchen counter in an effort the guys out of her head when Greg shows up. Oh but then so does Josh. Time for some more dream ghosts! Imaginary Greg and Josh don’t like that term, so Greg coins them “memory spirits” and/or “polterguys.” Rebecca remains determined to get rid of them, but they remind her why she can’t in an awesome tap number. “We Tapped That Ass” is one of my favorite songs so far in terms of humor. She decides to throw all their stuff in the sink and light it on fire. Unsurprisingly this didn’t end well. She shows up at Heather’s door asking for a place to sleep.
It turns out Heather lives with her parents. This makes sense because I always wondered how she could afford to live in the same complex as Rebecca. Rebecca acts shocked, but apparently she just forgot she’s met them numerous times before. To Heather’s chagrin, her parents welcome Rebecca with open arms, literally. Her dad even makes Rebecca pancakes at 2 a.m.
The next morning when Heather comes downstairs, Rebecca has already left but she shows her mom a video of Rebecca’s 911 call. Rebecca not only mentions Greg and Josh by name, but she also poops outside while on the phone with the dispatcher. It turns out that the video’s gone viral. Most of Whitefeather and associates gather around a computer to watch before she arrives. Rebecca quickly discovers the video.
Paula comforts her and offers to go get her stuff from her house. Rebecca tries to ask what’s going on with Paula, sensing something’s off, but quickly breaks down. They attend a meeting with a douche company where Rebecca is fascinated by their decision to rebrand. She decides to submit herself for the contest to be the face of the douche company, Miss Douche. She decides Paula can do all the lawyer stuff because she’s basically a lawyer anyway. Scott attempts to make dinner and pick up other domestic duties so Paula can do her work. He also wants to prove she can still go to law school. She reminds him they’ve made a decision so he needs to stop.
Rebecca tells Heather and her parents about her plan, but when they see the competition Rebecca calls for a makeover. This leads to a sort of song break and montage. In the end she now has long blond hair, a spray tan and dresses like she’s off to Coachella.
An overwhelmed Paula tells Rebecca the makeover isn’t going to get them back, but as always Rebecca ignores the sage advice. She says she’s in the top 10 in the contest now because she paid $5K for bots to bump up her Instagram likes. Did she not learn anything from her money crisis last season?
Rebecca then runs into Josh. On a digital detox, he hasn’t seen the video but clearly thinks Rebecca’s makeover is just sad. Guess this must have killed her hopes because the next morning she tells Heather she’s quitting the contest. Heather’s parents practically encourage Rebecca to quit, indicating how Heather has been a student for so long. Heather still insists she go because now she’s in the top five. When the panel of judges asks Rebecca who she really is she can’t answers.
Paula puts on her lawyer hat for a hearing with a planning manager (not a judge). She nervously speeds through her argument. The planning manager guesses she’s not a lawyer so wonders who she is. I hope she tells Rebecca about all this stuff soon. They could really help each other.
Back at the Miss Douche pageant (it’s supposed to be a contest, but it’s basically a beauty pageant), Rebecca admits that she shouldn’t be Miss Douche. She was just trying to get over a breakup and that Miss Douche should really be someone like Heather.
Paula confesses she’s not a lawyer and not going to law school anymore. The planning manager grants her petitions and says she’d make a great lawyer.
Rebecca tells Heather’s parents she’s getting her own place. Heather says she’s moving out too. She explains that she won Miss Douche and that her parents have always rewarded failure. Heather shocks Rebecca by suggesting they live together. Rebecca needs her, she says, and she needs Rebecca’s credit. Classic Heather.
Scott comes and comforts Paula in bed mentioning that the doctor told her to rest. This is clarified when her lovely son Brendan yells that he’ll get the door because she just had an abortion. Not sure why she told her son that she not-so-secretly hates that, but whatevs. Rebecca comes in looking normal again and asks again what’s going on with Paula. Paula still doesn’t tell her though and shifts the focus back to Rebecca. Rebecca says she realizes she was trying to change the outside not the inside and that she’s not going to do that anymore. We’ll see. She goes back to her house for the first time since the fire to say goodbye to memory spirit Greg. She also bids farewell to the house.
Later, at an outdoor venue that is not the Boba place, she and Heather toast their coffees to new beginnings. After Heather reminds Rebecca that a $50k a month house in Beverly Hills is not in their budget, Rebecca still beams in excitement about all the antics they’re going to get up to as roommates. Heather warns she’s not into antics. We’ll see about that Heather, we’ll see. They are both shocked to see Valencia scarfing down a doughnut. Rebecca tries to run away but Valencia sees her. Valencia looks embarrassed as Rebecca awkwardly squeaks hello.
I’m too sad about Greg for side notes this week, but I am glad Valencia’s finally back. Also thrilled that it looks like Heather we’ll be getting more screen time now. I do have hope that either Greg will come back eventually or Rebecca gets the Ben Wyatt to her Leslie Knope. After all, Adam Scott didn’t come along until the end of season 2 on Parks and Rec.
Okay, one small side note:
- There was no theme song this week. It’s a small detail (I had to go back and check to make sure), but seems very appropriate since this episode was about Rebecca saying goodbye to Greg.
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