You’re probably already familiar with those friends or family members who say they will do one thing, but never get around to doing it, or do something else. It could be that friend who says they’re going to have just one drink, but ends up finishing the whole bottle, or the uncle who still talks about getting into crypto at every family dinner.
How about those family members who promise to come around for a few weeks until it magically transforms into half a year? Today’s Original Poster (OP) shared her very relatable story about housing her cousin, who turned her apartment into his personal gaming cave, and showed how generosity can quickly slide into exploitation.
More info: Reddit
The thing about overstaying guests is that they can turn the kindest gesture into a draining ordeal
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s cousin asked to stay with her temporarily after quitting his job and breaking up with his girlfriend, and she agreed
Image credits: DannYXxXDesirE
Image credits: dikushin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
What was meant to be a short stay stretched into six months, during which he gamed all day, ate her food, and contributed little
Image credits: DannYXxXDesirE
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She eventually asked him to pay $400 in rent, far below market value, but he exploded and accused her of being cruel
Image credits: DannYXxXDesirE
He told his mother, who began calling her heartless, leaving her stuck between financial stress and family pressure
The OP’s cousin had asked for a temporary place to stay after quitting his job and breaking up with his girlfriend. She had extra space in her two-bedroom apartment and wanted to help him reset, but the deal was supposed to last a few weeks for him to get back on his feet. However, instead, “a few weeks” stretched into six long months.
During that time, the cousin didn’t make much progress toward independence. At first, he bought groceries, did laundry, and was respectful, but soon his days were filled with gaming marathons, while his contributions to the household dwindled to energy drinks and frozen pizzas. Finally, after months of waiting for improvement, the OP decided it was time to set boundaries.
She asked for $400 a month, which was far less than half the rent and significantly below the market rate for housing in her area. However, rather than seeing it as a fair compromise, the cousin accused her of being “cruel” and claimed she had promised him a safe space. He also argued that charging him rent meant she was exploiting family.
The drama didn’t stop there. When she held her ground, her cousin went straight to his mom, who then began texting her nonstop about how “heartless” she was being. According to the aunt, family should always come before money, ignoring the fact that she was footing the bills for two adults on a single salary. Naturally, this left the OP feeling like she was being unreasonable.
Image credits: pch.vector / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Have you ever felt like you and your family members were maybe a little too close for comfort, as in the case of the OP? Attachment Project refers to this phenomenon as family enmeshment, which involves a lack of boundaries among family members and might show up as emotional manipulation, entitlement, and dependent relationships.
For this reason, setting boundaries with family is key. Outdoor writer Holly Scherer highlighted that a form of this is setting financial boundaries with family, which first requires understanding what you can comfortably and sustainably afford. She notes that it’s important to define these limits clearly so that both you and your relatives know what is acceptable.
Once established, these boundaries must be communicated openly and maintained consistently, even if they react negatively or push back. She emphasizes that standing firm is a crucial part of protecting your financial stability and mental well-being, and the best way to ensure that generosity doesn’t turn into exploitation.
However, manipulation from family tends to come with setting boundaries. Verywell Mind states that this often surfaces as guilt trips, emotional blackmail, gaslighting, and invalidation, to undermine autonomy or maintain power dynamics. They advise recognizing manipulation and affirming that your needs are valid, and not defending or overexplaining decisions, as this can invite further manipulation.
Netizens sided firmly with the OP, saying six months of free housing was far beyond reasonable. Many emphasized that asking for $400 was fair and necessary, and that the cousin was clearly freeloading. Others suggested firmer boundaries, like cutting off the Wi-Fi, refusing to buy his favorite snacks, or even kicking him out altogether.
If you were in OP’s shoes, would you keep charging rent or simply tell the cousin it’s time to move out? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens insisted that the author wasn’t the problem in this situation—her cousin and aunt were
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