First off, thanks to the wonderful Gwennie for filling in for me last week. I love my students, but not their germs. Thanks, Gwennie! You did a fantastic job.
We open with aerial shots of Miami and Michael voiceovers that in order to be a spy, you have to blend in to your surroundings. In Miami, this means a bathing suit.
Michael and Fiona are walking up a HUGE house. Michael has on maroon colored swimming trunks–not a speedo–and a open white button down shirt. Fiona has on a itsy bitsy teeny weeny purple flowered bikini. She has on a teal sarong with fringe and matching teal hankerchief tied around her hair. They both look hot and I am reminded once again that Gabrielle Anwar has 3 children. I bet she doesn’t sit around debating which gummi bear flavor tastes the best. Anyway, Fi is worried that she has on too much clothing, but Michael assures her that she looks fine and that they are there to find out about the bomber. Fi gripes a little that all they ever do is look for the bomber. She has a point, but he did try to kill Michael, so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt here.
Michael and Fi reminisce about their favorite arms dealer, Seymour and how the last time they met things didn’t turn out so great. Michael kicked him around a bit and threw gun powder in his face. Fiona seems less concerned and reminds Michael that Seymour was “enchanted” by Michael. Michael does not seem impressed by this. Fiona hands Michael some suntan lotion and asks him to “do her shoulders.” Michael takes the lotion and as he applies it, he tells Fiona that if she wants to talk about what happened the other night, but Fiona interrupts him and says that it was nothing and they were just “blowing off some steam, right?” Michael decides it’s time to go in and walks away. Fiona has an exasperated look on her face, but follows him.
Seymour is having a party and it appears that the only requirement was that the females wear as little as possible while the males wear manpri bathing suits. I would harp about sexism and hop on my feminist horse, but it’s at this point that we get a look at Seymour and I am thankful that he is covered up. He is exactly what you would picture a nerdy Miami arms dealer to look like. Straggly hair, beard, paunchy belly, wearing lots of white linen. Michael wants to talk to Seymour and Fiona agrees to take out the security guy who is behind the bar making smoothies.
Michael says hello to Seymour, who takes one look at Michael and starts screaming for security. Fiona disarms the security guy and holds him at gunpoint. This guy has got to feel bad. She is holding him at gunpoint with his own gun. He should probably have his security club membership card revoked. Seymour tells Michael that he learned a lesson the last time they met and he is prepared. He pulls a gun on Michael. Michael looks quizzically at the gun and remarks about the kind of bullets that are loaded in the gun. Seymour hilariously turns the gun away from Michael to try to figure out how Michael could tell about the bullets and Michael grabs the gun and disarms Seymour. For an arms dealer Seymour isn’t very smart. He must do ok business though cause that house is nice!
Michael tells Seymour that he needs help tracking down Derek Poole. Poole is the suspected bomber. Seymour agrees to help, but only if Michael teaches him some moves. Michael agrees, but something tells me that this will never happen. Maybe it’s because Michael answers him so sarcastically. Or maybe it’s because I have a feeling that Seymour would rather compare gummi tastes with me. I think I like Seymour.
Seymour asks Michael for cash to “open some doors” and Michael declines. Seymour agrees to front Michael the money, but warns him that they will have to be in constant contact. Bad Asses in crime. Seymour yells at the security guy and then orders him to make Michael a mango smoothie. I’m telling you, Seymour and I would get along fantastically.
Michael and Fiona leave Seymour’s house and Michael asks Fiona for a loan. She tells him that if he needs money he can get a job. Michael reminds her that he can’t exactly fill out a job application like everyone else or the people who burned him will wonder why he needs cash. Huh, you would think someone would be more concerned that Michael isn’t working since his bank accounts were all frozen in the burn. He hasn’t taken any money from Carla, so how do people think Michael is buying all the yogurt? Anyway, Fiona tells him that she just turned down a job investigating stolen paperclips at an art gallery. Michael smiles at her leans into her and tells her that “she’s the best.” Fiona walks away, telling him that she expects a commission.
Michael and Sam are at the local hangout having a drink. Sam is warning Michael against getting into business with Seymour, but Michael needs the info that Seymour can uncover. He asks Sam about his cover id for the art gallery job. Sam hands Michael a folder with all the necessary info for Micheal to assume the identity of Miles Parker who has a background in investigating corporate espionage. Fiona calls Michael and he tells her that he is ready for the art gallery job. Before they hang up, he tells her that he will call her later and maybe they can meet for dinner. Sam comments on the dinner invite, but Michael shoots him down. Sam is adorably amused at Michael.
Michael walks up a long sidewalk surround by glass. He is buttoning his coat . He VOs that in order to really pull off a new identity you have to be prepared to lie to everyone that you know. He walks into a building with a sign that reads Miami Art Collective. The building looks rough, but stereotypically perfect for an art gallery. Michael walks up the the receptionist Melanie, who is played by Marla Sokoff, and I have to fight the urge to turn off the TV right now. Not because I don’t like Marla, I am sure that she is a fine person and she does a good job with this role, but because it reminds me of that awful, awful show, The Practice. Michael introduces himself to her as Miles Parker and she cheekily responds back with a nice to meet you. Michael asks to speak to Scott Chandler. Scott Chandler comes around a corner to greet Michael. Oh good gravy, Chandler even does the little finger point thing as he meets “Miles”. GAG!
Chandler leads Michael to an area in the back of the gallery. He offers Michael a drink, while he inputs a number into a key pad. (The number is 574 for anyone who cares.) Chandler is impressed with Miles’s resume and begins to tell him about some mysterious activity at the office including putting a bug on the phone. Chandler talks the bait and “Miles” is hired. He asks for a layout of the gallery. His phone rings and when he answers, Seymour says “Hello, Alpha, it’s Bravo.” Micheal greets Seymour (using his real name) and Seymour tells him that he has found some good news about the bomber. Michael leaves to meet him.
Seymour and Michael are sitting outside at a high table with a green umbrella. Seymour says that Poole does work for the city and is connected to the Russian mob. The restaurant they’re in is a Russian mob hangout. Seems that when the Russians need something blown up, Poole is their go to guy. Michael looks around and sees some guys that I guess are supposed to be Russian. Michael wants to know what the good news is, and Seymour informs him that Poole has a girlfriend and things are hot and heavy. Poole and the girlfriend can’t be apart for more than a few days without some “alone” time. Michael assures Seymour he gets the message and Seymour says, “I bet you do.” “You and Fi, the molten hot action couple. I can’t even imagine what it must be like in that bedroom.” Seymour licks his finger and holds it up, making a hissing sound. Michael looks as if he wants to wants to reach across the table and strangle Seymour. He tells Seymour that he and Fiona are not a couple. Seymour can’t believe it (and let’s face it, neither do we). Michael reminds Seymour to focus and brings the conversation back to the girlfriend.
The girlfriend, as it turns out, is pulling into the parking lot. Seymour begins to point to her and Michael reaches out, grabs his hand and tells him to stop. Seymour grasps hands with Michael. Michael paints a wide smile on his face. Seymour tells Michael that the girlfriend’s name in Bianca, she works at the restaurant and her shift starts in 10 minutes. Michael congratulates Seymour, but Seymour isn’t done with his good news. His stupid bodyguard is going to plant a tracking device on her car so that Michael can follow her. Michael can not believe that Seymour is that stupid. He reminds Seymour that they are in the presence of the RUSSIAN MOB.
Michael jumps up from the table and heads to the parking lot. He tells us that part of being a good spy is being able to come up with a cover story that explains why everyone is where they are, doing what they are doing. He walks up to the bodyguard and begins to yell at him for “leaving your keys on my wife’s dresser” and he punches Stupid Bodyguard, SB looks confuzzled. Michael tells him to go with it and to run. SB is all about planting the tracker though, so Michael has to punch him again and finally SB runs away. Michael yells after him “And don’t ever let me catch you near my wife again.” He voice kinda cracks when he says it, like he is really mad. The Russian Mob guys are laughing so I guess they bought it.
Back at Michael’s loft, Michael is looking over the blue prints for the office. Sam cracks open a beer and tells Michael that he likes corporate espionage. No guns or bombs. Sam wants to know if Michael has figured out how someone got in. Michael says that he knows how he would do it, which is to slip in with the cleaning crew and hide until everyone leaves, then look around. A loud sigh is heard and we see that lying on Michael’s bed is Fiona. She is confused about why Michael called her over. Michael says to bounce ideas. If looks could kill right now, Michael would be six feet under. Sam looks from one to the other, grabs another beer and heads to the patio.
Fiona hops off the bed. She is wearing a grey tee shirt halter dress. It is very short. She walks up to Michael and asks if this is about the other night, her not staying for breakfast. Michael smiles at her and I swear her heart must be made of stone cause I melted at that smile, and asks if it is so weird that he would want her opinion. She tells him to look at her and say that it isn’t about the other night. He looks at her and begins to say something, but stops himself and leaves to go talk to Chandler.
Michael shares with Chandler his belief that the bad guy came in with the cleaning crew. He thinks that the person may have been caught on the video camera in the parking lot. Chandler lets him into the office (using a code a lot longer than 574) and tells Michael that he is meeting a client for dinner and for Michael to let him know if he finds anything.
Michael searches Chandler’s office and finds a different type of device hidden in Chandler’s keyboard. This device records keystrokes which can be used to get into private accounts. Michael removes the battery from the device. He tells us that more spies get caught changing batteries or fixing wires than any other activity. I wonder if that is true? It makes sense. Michael figures that whoever planted the keystroke bug will have to come in and change the battery so he waits and hides. Later that night in the darkened office, we see the door open and a person comes in and flicks on a flashlight. The person makes their way to the desk and begins to fool with the keyboard. Michael flips the lights on the lights to reveal the receptionist, Melanie. She takes off running and Michael chases her. She attempts to stab him with a letter opener before begging him not to tell Chandler for fear that he will kill her. Michael finds that a little hard to believe about Chandler, but Melanie tell him that he has killed before, the victim was her father.
Sam, Michael and Melanie sit at a restaurant and Melanie tells them that her father was a painter–J.D. Blake. Sam recognizes the name and remarks that Veronica (his ex) was really into Pop Art. Chandler was Blake’s dealer and the trouble began over a painting called The Lady In White. Bids worth millions of dollars were coming in before the painting was even finished. Blake was sick, but Chandler kept applying pressure to finish the painting causing Blake to fire Chandler. One month later, someone broke into Blake’s loft, beat him to death and burned down the studio. The Lady in White was reported destroyed in the fire and the police ruled the death a robbery gone bad.
Melanie lived in New York with her mother and never met her father, nor used his name. They had only started talking a few months before he died. When she heard that The Lady In White was being moved in the black market, she came to Miami to investigate and got a job with Chandler. Sam warns her that the painting could be anywhere. Melanie has to prove that Chandler is behind her father’s death and has the painting. Michael tells her that he is checking out the security footage from the service entrance tomorrow and Melanie freaks. Michael tells her that he will cover for her as long as her story checks out. And just like that the client is now Melanie. A fact that graphics missed!
Oh good grief. It seems that the creative team behind Burn Notice are trying to kill me with The Sexy every week. Week 1 was the Speedo, week 2 was the kiss, now the punching bag. Michael is dressed in a white tank top with grey sweat bottoms and he is whaling away on a punching bag. He is all hot and sweaty and muscley. Sam walks in and Michael stops. (ARGH!!!) Anyway, it looks like Melanie’s story checks out. Michael tells Sam to call Melanie and tell her that they will help her, but she has to stop spying.
Michael is making a big magnet out of a car battery. Look, I should probably be more specific, but the MacGyver aspect of the show makes my eyes glaze over. Not because I don’t find it interesting, I do, but it’s kinda like steak. I know where steak comes from,but I don’t need to see the process. The science stuff is cool, but I really just want to see the end result. The end result here is that Michael makes a big battery and heads to the offices to watch the security video. The Video Guy tells him that all the video is stored on the main frame, which he motions to. Michael, who is carrying a large back pack, sets the bag down on top of the main frame and activates the electromagnet inside it, causing everything to get erased. Michael leaves to go tell Chandler.
“Miles” tells Chandler that he (Chandler) has a huge problem. Whoever is targeting him is a professional. “Miles” needs to go through Chandler’s computer files and see what is going on. Chandler balks at this because the files are private. “Miles” yells at Chander to get a clue, that this person is a professional and to call him when he is serious about finding the spy. Chandler tells “Miles” to come back, that he will give him the access. “Miles” warns that things may get worse before they get better.
Sam and Michael meet to exchange info. Sam has done some digging and can now link Chandler to a guy named Jacob Orr who is a “so called security consultant” who has done time for manslaughter. Michael asks Sam if he wants to meet a new friend and suggests that he bring along Fiona. Sam jumps on this opening to ask Michael about his private life, starting with the “weird” energy in the loft. Michael denies anything is happening, but Sam doesn’t buy it. He asks if they……. and Michael looks away. Sam can not believe it and asks Micheal how many times he has to be burned by a flame to figure out that it burns? Michael changes the subject and asks Sam if he is going to help. Sam says that he will, but that he objects to Michael suggesting that he work with Fi when he was getting a booty call. Michael yells for the check. I love these 2 together. Sam cracks me up.
Sam and Fiona are at a bar watching Jacob Orr. Fiona is wearing a skin tight grey dress with horizontal black stripes. Sam gives Fi a bug for a cell phone and asks if she can handle it. Fiona snits that surely he doesn’t believe that she can’t get a man to go up to a hotel room. Sam snits back that she does seem able to get men to make bad choices. Fiona realizes that Sam knows about her and Michael. She tells Sam that Michael started it, which is so something that my students say. Sam redirects Fiona’s attention to the mark.
Fiona and Orr sit at the bar laughing. Michael VOs that “for a female operative picking a guy up at a bar is harder than it might seem. Most men have a sense for when a pick up is going too well (Really? Do they care?) If it’s too easy, they get suspicious, if it’s too hard, they move on.” Fiona does a good job evidently, as Orr does not seem suspicious. They head up to his room, where Fiona pours some chlorhydrate in his drink. However, Orr is not interested in the drink, so Fiona gets him to get undressed. While his shirt is over his head, she hits him with a bottle. Sam is giving back up outside and begins to try to break the door down. Orr is not quite out of it though, so Fi hits him again. Orr is out, and Fi plants the bug. Sam is still outside trying to break the door down. Suddenly, Fi, opens the door and walks out. She’s fine. Silly Sam, you should know that Fi is bad ass and can take care of herself. I’m going to let you off the hook though, cause watching you try to break down that door was funny.
There is a knock at Michael’s door. Sam opens the door to find Melanie who storms her way in asking for Michael. Sam tells her that Michael is at the store, buying yogurt. Melanie is in a panic because Chandler is having the hard drive reconstructed. Sam tells her not to worry. That will take some serious time. Melanie is worried for her life. Sam tells her not to worry that they are getting close. He plays a recording of a conversation between Orr and Chandler. Orr is suspicious, Chandler not so much. Orr feels pretty sure that the people who robbed him were after more than $40 and tells Chandler that it was a 2 person operation. They talk about a holding company where they money is being kept. Orr wants his money. Sam tells Melanie that if they can find documents that connect Orr, Chandler and this phony company, they can go to the police. Melanie wants to know how they are going to do that. Sam says that Chandler’s spy (“Miles”) will have to turn up the heat.
“Miles” arrives at Chandler’s house asking what in the world Chandler got him into. Chandler is a little confused. “Miles’ tells Chandler that his house was broken into and his files thrown about. He tell Chandler that is was 2 people–a man and a woman. Chandler looks a little gobsmacked. He tells Michael that he has another business associate that was approached the same way. “Miles” begins screaming at Chandler that he has to tell him everything. Whoever is spying on Chandler has resources, why, it could be a black listed spy standing right in front of him and Chandler wouldn’t know. (WINK, WINK) Chandler looks as if he is about to spill everything, but pulls back at the last second. He tells “Miles” he has nothing to hide. “Miles” needs access to everything, camera, security feeds, access codes. Chandler agrees.
Michael has snuck into the gallery, but he can’t go through the service entrance cause Chandler is watching the videos. He has to go through the gallery, with Sam coaching him through. Of course we have to obligatory mess up with the rights and lefts, but eventually Michael makes it through unseen.
Michael is in Chandler’s office looking through his files. He doesn’t find anything unusual. He starts to sweep the office. He looks in the easy places first, but that is a no go. Finally, he moves a table and finds a hidden panel with a series of locked file cabinets. Michael tells Sam that he needs a specialize tool with a diamond bit and a cooling agent.
Michael and Fiona meet up with Melanie and they tell her to hold tight. She is nervous, because Chandler is acting weird. Fi tells her that this is good, this means Chandler will turn to “Miles” for help. Michael tells her to act natural. She says that she will try and leaves. Fiona tells Michael that some people are better than others at acting like things are normal. Michael is saved by the phone. Seymour has some information about the bomber and wants Fiona to fire up the Saab.
Michael, Fiona and Seymour have parked the Saab in a grove of trees. Seymour has found the house where the bomber is holed up. Poole opens the door to let Bianca leave and Fiona notices that the place is booby trapped. Michael realizes that the entire house is booby trapped and leaves the Saab to go find an easier route to get to to Poole. Fi is instructed to stay behind and watch Seymour. Seymour starts talking about how cool Michael is, then asks Fiona what the deal is between Michael and her. Fiona tells him they are in different spaces. (I’m about tired of these 2 talking in cliches! You are hot together, either fish or cut bait already!) Even Seymour scoffs at the “spaces” line and tells Fiona to go with the flow. He tells her that Michael and she are destiny and you shouldn’t fight it. Destiny will kick you ass. Fiona looks mildly irritated, but tells Seymour she’ll keep it in mind.
Back at Michael’s, Sam is hunting around in the fridge, when Fi and Michael get home. Sam holds up his beer and tells them he can drink it on the balcony if they “need some alone time.” Michael and Fi glare at each other, before Fiona tells Sam to drink it “here”. Sam inquires about the bomber, and tells Michael that he has a lead on the drill bit. Just as Michael is popping open a yogurt, Melanie calls. She’s at the office and any kind of regard I had for Melanie was shattered by this scene. Idiot. It seems that Chandler had someone shredding some documents and they didn’t all get shredded. Michael tells her that she is a stupid, idiotic girl and that she is a waste of oxygen. Well, ok, maybe that was me, but he does tell her that it was a trap and since she used her employee access code to get into the building on the weekend, Chandler is going to know it was her. Michael tells her to get out now, but when Melanie looks out the window, Chandler has already pulled up. Melanie tells Michael this and the fear in her voice is evident.
Michael tells Melanie to tape her cell phone to the top of a box, and run an extension cord from the behind the box and place the contraption in the front door of the gallery. “Miles” calls Chandler and tell him that it was a trap. “Miles” and Chandler walk up to the front door and see the bomb. Finally, Chandler comes clean about The Lady in White painting. As Chandler and “Miles” walk toward Chandler’s car it explodes. “Miles” asks where the painting is and Chandler says that it is at his house, while Fi watches them leave, fondling her detonator.
Sam approaches Orr at a bar. He reminds tells Orr that the last time he saw him, Orr was getting his ass kicked by a girl. Orr stands up and Sam grabs his thumb and twists. Orr doubles over. Sam tells Orr that he was hired by Chandler to kill him. However, Sam tells Orr that he is only getting 10 grand for the hit. Sam knows that Chandler is making more than that off the painting. He is going to tell Orr where Chandler is off loading the painting and he wants a cut of the action. Orr agrees and asks where Chandler is hiding.
“Miles” and Chandler go to Chandler’s house. Chandler has hidden The Lady in White behind another painting. He takes it down and “Miles” pulls a gun on him. Chandler makes a move on him, and Michael hits him in the forehead with the gun. Chandler goes down and Michael takes the painting.
Orr shows up at Chandler’s house to confront him about Sam’s story. He sees that the painting is gone. He asks Chandler about the painting and Chandler truthfully tells him that a spy took it. Orr has a hard time with that one, seeing as how he knows Chandler to be a liar and a thief. Orr pulls a gun on Chandler and Chandler insists that the spy took the painting. We head outside of Chandler’s house and hear the sound of a gunshot.
Sam, Michael, and Melanie meet at the restaurant. They tell her that she won’t have to worry about Chandler anymore, that Orr was caught trying to dump his body. She thanks them and then gives Michael and envelope full of cash. Michael tries to not accept it, but she insists. She also gives him a small painting of a butterfly that her dad did the year she was born. Michael gratefully accepts both. Melanie leaves. Michael gives Sam the picture and tells him to drop it off at the loft, he is going to kidnap an explosives expert. Sam wishes him luck.
Michael, Fiona and Seymour are behind Poole’s house. Seymour has some specialty weapons that Michael requested. He asks to come along, and Michael tells him to stay put.
Fiona and Michael approach the house. Fiona fires a disruptor shell into the house, which is a shotgun shell full of water. She hits the bomb that is wired to take the house down. The blast will knockout a bomb with out causing it to go off. The disruptor rounds aren’t lethal from more than 10 feet and Michael fires one into Poole’s chest from about 15 feet. Poole goes down.
Michael, Seymour and Stupid Bodyguard (who really is quite cute) have Poole tied to a chair with a bag over his head. Michael removes the bag and Poole immediately recognizes him as the guy who lives over the club. He assures him the bomb that was planted was not personal. At this, Seymour and SB, turn around and Seymour lights a blow torch. Seymour “menaces” his way closer to Poole, but Poole doesn’t need any torture. He’ll tell Mike what he wants to know. Michael even promises to help Poole and Bianca leave the country. Poole tells Michael that he never met the man who hired him, he was given an address. He was paid by money transfer into an account in the Caymans. He even remembers the account number-7595163003. Michael asks Seymour about gun smuggling shipments to Suriname. Poole is less than pleased.
Michael walks out of Seymour’s house and Fiona is waiting for him. He tells her that he has the account number, now all he needs to do is trace the name. Seymour comes running out of the house and gives Michael and Fi each a box. He tells them that he had something made to honor their first mission together. Michael and Fiona open the boxes and discover matching throwing daggers. He has even engraved the word destiny on them. He tells them that it is a symbol of their bond. Fi looks amused. Michael seems to be at a loss for words, especially when Seymour reveals he made one for him too. Seymour goes back inside to check on “jack ass and the hostage.”
Fiona remarks that the gesture was kinda sweet. Michael says to her: “The morning after we….” Fi: “Yes.” Michael: “I brought you a Spanish omelet, egg whites only. But you were gone.” Fi: “My favorite. Maybe next time, I’ll have to stay.”
Here’s the deal, Ms. Scarlett. The next time you have a hankering for murdering someone in the Conservatory with the candlestick I will DEINITELY be calling Michael Weston to come haul you away and do naughty things to you. So there!
Here's the deal, Ms. Scarlett. The next time you have a hankering for murdering someone in the Conservatory with the candlestick I will DEINITELY be calling Michael Weston to come haul you away and do naughty things to you. So there!