If there’s anyone in this world you can trust, it should be your family members. They’ve been there since day one, and they’re supposed to always have your back. But unfortunately, not all familial love is unconditional. If you do something that causes enough pain, you might be cut out of their lives.
After growing up in a tumultuous household, one man had come to terms with the fact that he would never talk to his brother again. But when his mom started pressuring him to reunite with his sibling, he finally gave in. Below, you’ll find the full saga the man shared on Reddit in search of advice, along with some of the replies readers left him.
This man was adamant about never speaking to his older brother again
Image credits: Alfred Kenneally (not the actual photo)
But when his mom pressured him to reunite with his estranged sibling, he eventually gave in
Image credits: frank mckenna (not the actual photo)
Image source: lukasboltz
Later, the author responded to several readers and provided more background information
Many readers took his side, urging the man to stand by his boundaries
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Then, the author revealed that he had agreed to see his brother
Image source: lukasboltz
Concerned readers warned him to be wary of his brother, and some shared advice for the meeting
Image credits: Doğukan Şahin (not the actual photo)
Finally, the man shared that the reunion did not go well
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: lukasboltz
38% of Americans are estranged from at least one family member
If you’re close with your parents and siblings, you might not be able to fathom the idea of becoming estranged from them in the future. You’ve shared so many beautiful memories, and you look forward to every opportunity you have to see them.
Unfortunately, however, not everyone has such a wonderful relationship with their family. And if thinking back on childhood only brings up pain, you might not feel the need to keep them in your life.
According to a 2025 survey from YouGov, 38% of Americans are estranged from at least one family member. Nearly a quarter say that they’re no longer in contact with a sibling, and 19% say that the decision was mutual.
As for why so many people choose not to speak to their siblings, personality conflicts, lies or betrayal, and manipulative behavior are the most common reasons cited. But the silence doesn’t have to be permanent, as 45% of people who are estranged from a sibling say they would be willing to reconcile.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman told the “Where Parents Talk” podcast that parent-child estrangement, in particular, has become “a kind of silent epidemic.” He noted that adult children are cutting off their parents not only due to neglect and trauma that they endured, but also due to more subtle, psychological, and sometimes political issues.
Losing a loved one can come with an overwhelming amount of grief, even if they’re still alive and well. But Nick Tebbey, Relationships Australia’s national executive officer, told The Guardian that it’s important to move past those emotions to determine what exactly led to the estrangement.
“Then it’s easier to take the first, often daunting step to reach out to that person,” Tebbey says. “You have to reach out and say ‘I’m available to hold a conversation about whatever these issues are’, without judgment.”
It’s important for both parties to feel ready before reconnecting with an estranged sibling
If you’re unsure whether or not it’s a good idea to reconnect with an estranged sibling, clinical psychologist and marriage and family therapist Dr. Dena DiNardo has some advice. Before reconnecting, the expect says it’s important to be clear on your motivation and to distinguish between your hopes and fears.
Try to be realistic about what might happen. And identify your boundaries ahead of time. If the reunion doesn’t go well, be prepared to exit the situation. Be ready to take accountability for your past behavior, and decide what kind of relationship you would actually be open to having.
Initiating contact can be scary, but Dr. DiNardo suggests starting with a small, low-pressure message. Keep the focus on the present, and use “I” statements. Choose a neutral, non-public medium when you reach out, and give the person space to respond if and when they’re ready.
Now, if your sibling wants to reconnect but you don’t, you are certainly allowed to say no. Protecting your mental health should always be your priority, even if that means making difficult decisions with your family members.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have responded if you were in this man’s shoes? Then, if you’re interested in learning more about family estrangement, we recommend reading this Bored Panda article next.
Once again, readers poured out their support for the author
And after the saga reached wider audiences, people continued to weigh in with their thoughts
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