Living with a partner can bring out disagreements that seem small at first but later reveal much deeper problems. Reddit user Chimneysweepy shared her story on r/TwoXChromosomes about the ongoing tension in her home, where she lived with her boyfriend—and his best friend, who stayed rent-free. The conflict started over something personal: how she disposed of her tampons in the shared bathroom. Despite her efforts to compromise, the complaints kept escalating, and her boyfriend’s reaction only made things worse.
A period is a natural part of life and basic hygiene
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But for this woman, it became a breaking point in her relationship
Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The longer the resentment builds, the harder it is for people to see each other’s point of view
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s good that the woman refused to put up with the roommate’s behavior. “The energy we feel at home is vital to our ability to interact with the rest of the world. If the energy at home is negative or draining, it can have a large impact on our mental health and our living environment,” says Laura Rhodes-Levin, LMFT, author of The Missing Peace: Rewire Your Brain, Reduce Anxiety, and Recreate Your Life.
It’s hard to tell why he was acting this way. There can be multiple reasons for controlling behavior, including:
And if these labels do not apply to the guy, sometimes people’s fundamental needs and values are just so different from those of their roommates, there may be no way around it but to transition to a new living situation.
A simple but easy way to see if that is the case is to check in with yourself at the end of each day. “I once had a roommate that I was unhappy with, and I kept a little notepad by my bedside. On the days I wanted to leave, I would write L. On the days I felt things were going OK, I would write S for stay. If you find that you have more L’s than S’s, it’s time to find a different arrangement,” says Rhodes-Levin.
As her story went viral, the woman clarified a few important details
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: chimneysweepy
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She then joined the conversation in the comments
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