Those who say we have to tolerate every little thing our family members do, no matter what, clearly have never interacted with an overly annoying relative. Or, they have a way higher level of patience for people like that. Still, it doesn’t matter if what they’re saying is true—sometimes you have to set boundaries with people, even if they’re family.
That’s something that today’s OP did. She saw her brother-in-law teasing her autistic daughter for her special interest and decided to interfere. Her way of doing so was banning him from the family vacation, which, let’s just say, caused quite a bit of family drama.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, you have to set clear boundaries with toxic people, even if they’re your family members
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A woman has an autistic daughter whose special interest is Taylor Swift
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One day, while the girl’s uncle was visiting them, he decided that it was a good time to annoy the girl about her interest
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He started calling the singer and her fandom wrong and childish names, so the girl felt the need to keep correcting him
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Her brother quickly caught on that he was teasing and called the uncle out
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Then, the girl’s mom joined in and told her brother-in-law that if he didn’t quit it, he wouldn’t be going on family vacation—the one he’d been waiting for
The OP’s 14-year-old autistic daughter, Lisa, is interested in Taylor Swift. An autistic individual having a special interest isn’t uncommon. In fact, it’s among the most common symptoms of autism.
As the name suggests, these are the things autistic people are highly interested in—something that is usually more intense than typical interests and takes over a big chunk of their free time. They like to learn as much as possible about the topic, collect related items, and incorporate them into their everyday lives.
Since the girl’s special interest isn’t really hurting her or anyone else, both the OP and other family members indulge in it. Well, not all family members—there’s the woman’s brother-in-law, who, instead of being supportive, chooses to be annoying.
He’s one of those people who likes to rile up others—a master of covert bullying who likes to justify his actions by saying, “It’s just a joke.” You know those people, right?
He likes to tease Lisa by calling Taylor Swift, her fandom, and other things related to her by the wrong names—basically straight-up childish bullying style.
He kept doing this annoying thing until Lisa’s brother called him out. This stumped the man, and he started going off about how they could all go “cry about it,” then started calling the boy by a feminine name, which is another level of immaturity. Then, the boy, not spooked by his uncle’s behavior, called him out again.
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That’s where their mom stepped in to do the same as her son. This caused the man to flip out, spitting that they couldn’t take a joke and that the kids were growing up soft. You know, a typical defense from such people.
So, the OP decided to put an end to the jerkish behavior and told the man that if he didn’t stop his behavior now, he wouldn’t be attending the family’s summer vacation in Colorado. This threat caused the man to flip out even more and yap about how his family chose Taylor Swift over him.
The original poster didn’t waste the opportunity to clarify that it wasn’t like that. She didn’t pick sides—she simply made him pay for being overly mean to his niece. So, there was nothing left for the man to do but to leave. And then, he complained about the whole shtick to his mom.
That’s another typical bully action—playing the victim. This manipulation tactic is typically used by tormentors to avoid the consequences of their actions, painting themselves in a better light than they actually deserve.
When the man complained to his mom, she called the OP, insisting that she make the situation better, as the BIL really wanted to go on the trip he’d been banned from. This made the woman feel guilty for causing family drama, so she went online to ask if she was the jerk, as some of the family tried to paint her.
In netizens’ eyes, she wasn’t. The brother-in-law was clearly getting joy out of teasing a teenage girl about something she was passionate about, so he didn’t deserve to go on the trip, no matter how much he wanted to. Hopefully, it will serve as a life lesson, and in the future, he won’t be as nasty as he was. Or, he’ll become even nastier—only time will tell.
This caused the man to flip out, so the woman asked online if she was out of line, but netizens told her she wasn’t—he needed to pay for his nasty behavior
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