Big Brother 12 Week 5 Live Eviction Ceremony Recap

Tonight brought us the end of the most annoying showmance in the history of Big Brother, but did the person we all had money on leaving actually get evicted? And Brendon has an ex fiancee?! Is she OK? Let’s find out!

We pick up where Britney slammed the Veto box in front of Brenchel’s face and Ragan immediately calls Brendon a neanderthal, which was hilarious. But Brendon doesn’t stop acting like an idiot. he keeps up for his ill-concocted plan of saving Rachel, while chopping his own testicles off in the process. He even says that Rachel could be his wife and the mother of his kids one day. Of course I vomited at that statement, and I want to sue CBS for damage to my ears and psyche. Alas…

Britney voices her opinion to Rachel about Brendon’s game and how it is affecting Rachel’s, but Queen Rachel plays clueless about Brendon’s antics, when she knows good and damn well what he’s up to. Later, Rachel tries to use this ruse again when she tries to converse with Ragan and Britney, but before the crazy can get started, Ragan stops her and displays how to use a Masters Degree properly in a house of crazy. He tells Rachel the implausibility of her actions and how they got her in the position she is in now. Rachel, after letting this sink in, runs off crying and here comes Captain Save A Hoe to the rescue. Brendon tries to demean Ragan, who cleverly stands his ground and uses logic against Brendon’s growing inept attempts of being superior. Britney doesn’t help matters as she laughs in Brendon’s face every time something stupid vomits from it. This is why I watch Big Brother, people.

The Brigade is pissed by Brendon’s actions and decide on who they want to go home, weighing each nominee’s potential to their over all strategy. But while they gloat about their ‘secret alliance’, I feel as if they have shot themselves in the foot by gunning for Brenchel. More on that later.

Ragan is given a new task by America, which involves making the other Houseguests think that one of the nominees are not going home after all. It succeeds, because Brenchel acts like a spoiled brat at the news while the other Houseguests are severely pissed and might’ve even considered murder a couple of times. Ragan now has one more task to complete. Hope he makes it!

We are now ready for the live show. Julie teases us with info that Brendon has an ex-fiancee and my heart immediately goes out to whoever has to hold that title. After Julie brings up the best bits from the past week, including the HOH competition and the Kathy/Rachel fight, we finally see whose life Brendon probably destroyed before he met Rachel.

Her name is Candice and she is forever grateful for cutting ties from Brendon, who she claims tried to change her into being someone she wasn’t. Candice’s mother, Mia, takes it a step further by confirming that Brendon is an emotional windbag, which is a downer in their book. The best part of the interview? When Candice and Mia howl at Brendon’s line to Rachel about protecting her. “That’s what knights do…” HAHAHAHA! Why aren’t THEY in the Big Brother house?!

It’s time to vote and Rachel and Brendon give their last pleas. Rachel’s is mostly Brendon directed, but Captain Save A Hoe goes on a rant and my nails and the hair on my arms start getting seriously interesting all of a sudden. When I return from La La Land, I see that Rachel got a 6-0 vote to leave the Big Brother house, making her the first person in the jury house. But Julie says something cryptic to Rachel that has everyone in a tizzy: “You might not have seen the last of the Big Brother house.” What the hell, Julie?!

Before I can wrap my mind around the insanity that Julie has just dropped, the HOH competition begins, but it’s an endurance task which means we won’t find out till Sunday who won the competition. Or for you fortunate people with Showtime (or the 24/7 live feeds), you can find out later… Just don’t spoil it here.

Before I leave for the week, let me talk about why I think that the Brigade is the lamest alliance since Big Brother 6’s “The Friendship/Nerd Herd”. To put it simply, they haven’t really done anything. It sickens me that they gloat about how ‘powerful’ they are when they haven’t even won a challenge or Veto competition. Everything that has fallen their way has been by luck and luck only. With Rachel and Brendon grating the nerves of everyone dominating the psyche of the Big Brother house, the Brigade was shielded. Now they have broken said shield, and will be exposed. At this point and time, does it even matter? If I was Matt, I would use this time to send one of his mates home now instead of later, because it will only be harder then than it would be now.

My rant is over. Britney’s goodbye message was another highlight as she mocked the hell out of Rachel, who looked like she would’ve murdered Britney on sight. Anyway, see you all Sunday!

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