Armie Hammer’s Downfall is the Name Armie Hammer Itself

Armie Hammer’s Downfall is the Name Armie Hammer Itself

I’m pretty sure that after Armie Hammer’s portrayal of the Winklevoss twins in The Social Network, people assumed he was going to be a star.  I certainly did.  And I think that even Hollywood wanted it to happen.    The guy’s just too charming and handsome looking a guy not to make it right?  All he needed was a little acting ability and we should have easily had ourselves another leading man.  But that’s not the way things have turned out for Armie Hammer.   His role in The Lone Ranger was his chance and I’m not saying it’s his fault, but I feel like he hasn’t had another “real” shot since then.

But now he’s back with a movie called Free Fire and I’m making the call right now that this isn’t the movie that’s going to propel him over the top.  And I’ve got two reasons for it.  The first is this photo:

Armie Hammer’s Downfall is the Name Armie Hammer Itself

Hammer literally looks like the reincarnation of “Michael” from Jaws IV: The Revenge.   You cannot expect to be a superstar Hollywood actor if you’re reminded of Jaws terrorizing the Caribbean with Mario Van Peebles and Michael Caine leading the resistance.   Reason number two?  The name Armie Hammer.

There’s only one man in Hollywood that ever had the right to have a name as cool as Armie Hammer and that’s Rip Torn.  You don’t just pull off Armie Hammer without paying your dues.  I’m fully convinced Hollywood execs are sitting there thinking, “this kid’s got some balls trying to be an Armie Hammer.”

The thing is, Armie’s 30 years old so he’s got time but if Free Fire doesn’t come off well Armie could be stuck with mediocre roles the rest of his career.


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