We want to say something lovely this holiday season about Alaskan Bush People Season 11. However, they’re making it hard for us. With the winter celebrations in full swing, peace on earth and goodwill toward everyone is on our mind. However, the nicest thing we can say sometimes is a good old fashioned southern, “Well, bless their hearts!” If you’re from the south, then you know that’s not as nice as it sounds. It’s one of the worst things you can say. We want to remind you that we found valuable life lessons in Little Women Atlanta before we continue with what to expect from Alaskan Bush People Season 11.
Warning: Spoilers Ahead! We’re about to spoil the first episode and make some educated guesses that will probably ruin the rest of the season.
Where Do We Even Start?
Okay, season eleven is in full swing, and we’re not going to wreck every episode, but we really need to talk about that windmill. In episode one, Wind and Water, the Browns need to get power. A windmill is a great way to accomplish that goal, but this seems familiar. Haven’t we seen this plot before? When their patriarch says that the most important thing they can have is water, and they can’t survive without it, it’s good advice. He’s not wrong. Water, heat, food, these are essential elements of life on earth. However, we feel the need to remind you that this isn’t episode one, this is the first episode of season eleven.
Also, a windmill isn’t going to provide water, but it will get them power, which helps when it comes to getting water to flow, not to mention heating in winter. If you ever wondered how ‘easy’ it is to go off the grid and become self-sustaining, then watching Alaskan Bush People is a lesson in nothing to do with that. Brown Star Ranch, as they call their home, is a place where dreams might come true, but you’d have to have some pretty strange goals that include becoming one of the most ridiculous things on TV to make that happen. In the first episode, the Browns go get a windmill.
Getting a Windmill
For those who are wondering about that wind turbine they spent so much time on in Alaska, we can’t say where it went. It was supposed to be delivered but never was. Hence the need for a new windmill. The family has a meeting about it. Billy has a friend who has what they need, and they make a deal to go take down the much-overhyped windmill. The problem is that this windmill is in the middle of a giant muddy quagmire. They slog through a muddy mess, watch Bear cut his finger and overdramatize it, and show the world how not to take down a windmill safely. That’s pretty much it. We wish we could say there’s more to it, but the episode was lacking in drama unless you count some complaints about how the windmill took a tip of Bear’s finger, which it didn’t. There was some blood. Not a lot of it, but fingers bleed a fair bit.
Other Weirdness
One thing we can say for ABP is that they’re oddballs. Other than the windmill and cherry picker, the episode features a couple of notable scenes that aren’t what we’d call essential, but they are funny. Bear builds a “Utensil” for working out at home. We’re not sure what a log and some rope have to do with food preparation, but hey, three-syllable words are good… right? We’re also not quite sure what to say about the cat-hair pillow idea that Birdy came up with. On the one hand, it’s recycling. After all, when you have enough cats to be a crazy cat lady, you might as well make use of them for something other than pest control. As bizarre as the idea is, some people spin cat hair into yarn after all. Maybe someone should suggest it to her so we can all watch the Browns try to make cat hair sweaters. That would be worth watching.
The (Not-Quite Alaskan) Bush People Season Eleven: Predictions
The show won’t be changing its name, but it bears mentioning that they don’t live in Alaska anymore. Now the Browns have taken over a small mountaintop in Washington State. The weather further south is a lot better, but they still have their work cut out for them. What do we see in store for this season? Quite a lot, actually. First off, we see the weird cat-related activities continuing to make air time. Birdy loves her pets, and the internet loves cats, so we think there will be plenty more kitty-centric scenes this season. Additionally, the youngest sibling, Rain, whose real name is Merry Christmas Kathryn Raindrop Brown, is going to continue to be a teenager with depression. We predict mood swings and more rebellious behavior than before.
Beyond that, we think that Bear will continue to be Bear. He’s going to do weird, overdramatic stuff that’s not always a great idea, and get attention. Will he find a girlfriend this season? We doubt it, but it could happen. Moreover, we’re also predicting that most of the season centers around the younger Browns. From that adorable new baby to the original siblings, the show is moving in a more youthful direction, albeit a peculiar one. Whatever happens, we’ll be glued to the screen in half-disgusted fascination. We admit we kind of love to hate this show. Somewhere thousands of homesteaders would be shaking their heads and facepalming, but they’re too busy not being on TV and working to make their self-sustainable dreams a reality to know about this show.
Final Thoughts
While we fully admit that this awful show is binge-able, it’s for the wrong reasons. However, if you’re having a rough holiday season, and your family isn’t feeling the spirit, a few episodes of Alaskan Bush People Season 11 should make you feel better about your life. In the end, that’s enough reason to keep tuning in for the third season of this show in 2019. What do you think of ABP? Let us know in the comments below.
Follow Us
