A Disturbing Return Of The Jedi Fan Theory plus Mark Hamill’s Reaction

Almost four decades after their emergence into the Star Wars universe, the Ewoks are somehow still just as divisive now as they were back then, and despite the fact that they’re cute and fuzzy, some people still don’t like them. This fan theory that came about a short while ago is bound to make it a little more difficult for some folks to really see the little fuzzy forest creatures as anything but creepy and possibly even monstrous. It’s a pretty simple theory that involves Princess Leia since, while on the forest moon of Endor, she and the scouting party became separated, and as many know, this is when she was encountered by Wicket, who was played by Warwick Davis, and eventually led to the Ewok village high in the trees where she was given a new look and a new dress, which many people didn’t question since it was by far and large a better idea than the slave garb she’d been given in Jabba the Hutt’s palace. Okay, so that’s debatable depending on who’s being asked. But the fact remains that somehow, some way, the Ewoks had a dress that fit Leia perfectly and knew just how to braid a human woman’s hair in such a way as to make it look as though they’d been doing this for generations. The braiding aside, it’s perhaps feasible to say that the Ewoks had seen humans before and knew something about their clothing, but that’s where the theory comes in and gets a bit dark. In fact, even Mark Hamill has done his best not to think too deeply on the matter since it does sound kind of disturbing when one really gets into it.

People might not want to think about this, but when looking at the fact that Luke, Han, and Chewbacca were trussed up and looked like they were about to be roasted, it feels likely that the addition to Leia’s wardrobe might have come from another individual that wasn’t quite as lucky and didn’t have a protocol droid on hand to translate the words ‘please don’t eat me’ to the Ewoks. Is that sinking in? Or maybe it needs to be said aloud that the Ewoks might have actually roasted and eaten another human being and taken her clothing for whatever reason. It’s an odd theory to be certain, but it has yet to be disproved. Obviously this is one moment in the movies when people are expected to simply think that there was a dress there for some reason or another, or that the Ewoks were extremely quick when it came to sewing a dress together. But those that don’t buy that simplistic explanation definitely wanted to go down a darker path in order to make sense of the small but noticeable switch. Sometimes it’s wise not to think too deeply about something in a movie, since it’s way too easy to just let it go and think that Leia was fortunate enough to be given a dress that was in her size by a bunch of forest-dwelling teddy bears that were about to roast her brother, boyfriend, and his big furry sidekick.

The fact that George Lucas wanted Star Wars to be a family-oriented movie and definitely kid-friendly makes this type of theory stand out even more since the Ewoks roasting and eating humans isn’t really beyond the norm when it comes to material that is given to kids, but it was definitely way off base when discussing the nature of this story. What’s amusing is that Star Wars went beyond what Lucas wanted in such a big way that it’s hard to think of it in any other terms at this time. The franchise is still very much for kids in a lot of ways since even the most toxic part of the fanbase can’t ruin the overall enjoyment that kids can get out of it, but theories such as this definitely take a darker turn. One has to remember though, there are a lot of species in the Star Wars story that might look at humans and think of food since there are a lot of species within the galaxy that humans tend to think of in terms of food as well. The supposed nobility of humans in the Star Wars franchise is kind of an odd thing since much like any species there are those that are considered good and those that are thought to be bad. Few, if any, really wonder if there are any bad Ewoks out there that would actively hunt humans, but since we haven’t been given any indication that such a thing could have happened, a lot of people don’t question. But seriously, where did Leia’s dress come from then? Either the Ewoks are that quick and that good when it comes to making clothing, which is hard to imagine since it’s not likely that they see many humans, or the origins of that dress are darker than a lot of people want to think about.

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