Ok…..so…..graphic violence and nudity, here we come. We pick up where we left off: Godric snaps Gabe’s neck and kills him. He tells Sookie she shouldn’t have come and then Eric comes whooshing in. Why do the vampires whoosh on this show? He admonishes Eric for sending weakling humans to save him. Godric tells Eric to am-scray and take Sookie with him.
Ok, Jason and his amazing abs aren’t dead. Sarah says she actually shot him with a paintball (um….okay?). When he displays his ignorance of bible stories Sarah shoots him in the crotch (ha!). Sarah admits that they have Sookie and when she badmouths Jason’s sister, he grabs the gun and steals her jeep. Awe. He’s such a good big brother…..threatening to kill the crazy religious fanatics who have a grudge against his sister and other vampire-lovers.
Steve and the other Fellowship people are mobilizing against the intruders, but Eric is trying to figure out how to get himself and Sookie out of there without killing anyone. He affects an accent and talks to the three guys guarding the door, pretending to be human. He attacks the guards and then he and Sookie try to make their way out through the sanctuary. Unfortunately, they meet up with Steve in there, along with a whole angry posse. God, you just don’t see enough posses these days, you know? When Sookie tells Steve that Godric escaped, Steve’s all ‘I don’t care about Godric, any vampire will do’. At which point Eric surrenders himself.
Back at the hotel, Lorena’s got Barry pinned against a wall. Bill doesn’t want to eat him and is more concerned with Sookie. Lorena bites into him and realizes that he’s ‘different’. Bill attacks her with a plasma TV and then takes Barry out of the room.
Cut to Jessica and Hoyt gettin’it on. Bill interrupts and Jessica is embarrassed. Bill tells both of them to go back to Bon Temps and then whooshes out of the room.
Lafayette is doing a tarot reading for Tara. He says she has to make a sacrifice in matters of the heart. Eggs comes into the bar to talk to Tara. He says that he’s ‘lost time’again. Tara promises to help and takes him home.
Jason arrives back at the camp. He manages to talk his way into the sanctuary, but when one of the guards realizes that Jason’s holding a paintball gun, Jason knocks him out. Jason looks totally bad-ass right now. He’s so hot.
Sam’s sleeping in his car when he’s woken by his ringing phone (it’s Merlotte’s). Whoever it is hangs up, so Sam stupidly goes to the bar to investigate (it’s like he’s never ever watched a horror movie before). Wisely, he enters the dark bar with a gun and then spots Daphne’s dead body in his freezer. Oh yeah, and her heart has been ripped from her chest. Ew. Sam panics. He begins to wrap her body in a bunch of garbage bags but then stops. He calls the police department, but the cops have already arrived at the bar.
Cut to Maryann cooking in Sookie’s kitchen. She’s got Daphne’s heart and she …… oh my God, it’s so gross. She cuts it into pieces and then mixes it with the veggies that she’s cooking. I could have lived my whole life without ever seeing that.
Eric’s strapped to a table with silver chains around his throat and arms. They’re burning him, but Eric asks Steve to let Sookie go. Steve refuses and then Bill bursts in and then whooshes (typical). Jason bursts in and paintballs Steve in the hand and the forehead. Sookie frees Eric and he grabs Steve. There’s a stand-off, with Sookie begging Eric to let Steve go and Jason egging him on. I love bad-ass Jason.
Meanwhile, Stan and a vampire army bursts in and tells Steve he’s been a very bad boy. He also says the vampires killed Steve’s daddy. Godric arrives in the nick of time to stop a mass murder. He says that the humans never hurt him and asks for a truce, but Steve isn’t up for that. Nevertheless, Godric sends the other non-crazy humans on their merry way.
Jason hugs Sookie and apologizes as Godric and Eric leave. And then when Steve can’t keep his big mouth shut, Jason tells him he banged his wife. Love it! Bad-ass Jason! Sookie, Jason and Bill leave Steve there alone.
The Sheriff and Kenya are questioning Sam, saying they got an anonymous tip about Daphne. Sam denies knowing what happened. The Sheriff says that Sam’s got a sketchy past, so they’re not eager to believe him. Meanwhile, Andy arrives and says that Sam didn’t kill Daphne. He tries to describe the orgy from the previous night and just sounds crazy.
Back at home, Tara is trying to comfort Eggs, saying she and other people also blacked out. Eggs says he thinks he did something bad as Maryann interrupts. She serves them a souffle and it looks like blood is dripping out of it when Tara cuts into it (but it might just be jam). Oh man, are they going to eat Daphne’s heart? Gross. Tara and Eggs think its delicious and can’t stop eating it. Oh God, I’m going to be sick. Seriously.
Godric’s back at his house with his impromptu party. Jason apologizes for the Fellowship and Godric admires what Jason did to help save him. Eric tells Jason that he knows he used to use V, but they’re going to call it even now.
Sookie asks Bill why he didn’t come to save her and he says he was being held. Eric interrupts before he can explain more.
Hoyt and Jessica arrive home and Jessica still wants to get it on with him. And then…..oh, this is kind of funny, or maybe weird. Turns out Jessica will always be a virgin, no matter how many times she has sex. Take that as you will.
Bill corners Eric and tells him to stay the hell away from Sookie. Eric brushes him off, but Bill insists that Eric back off.
Isabel drags Hugo into the room and throws him at Godric’s feet. Isabel admits that she still loves Hugo and Godric lets him go free. Stan is super pissed about this.
Bud hauls Sam into jail, where a whole bunch of other town members are there after the blackout last night.
At Godric’s house, Jason asks Bill to forgive him for being such a jerk. The boys kiss and make up and then Jason freaking HUGS Bill. Hilarious.
Inside the house, Godric says that the Fellowship didn’t treat him badly, but he admits that vampires are dangerous predators.
Tara and Eggs are acting all weird after eating the heart souffle. Tara starts smacking Eggs around and he keeps asking for more. Then his eyes are all black again and he smacks her. This is all sorts of weird. Tara pushes Eggs to the ground as Maryann watches on with a smile.
Lorena arrives at Godric’s house with the more ridiculous hairstyle ever. She introduces herself to Sookie. Bills comes over, not pleased to see Lorena. Sookie quickly realizes that Lorena is Bill’s maker. Sookie gets all alpha female and smacks Lorena’s hand away when she tries to touch Bill. Sookie baits Lorena, asking her ‘don’t you have any shame’and Bill tells her to stop. Then there’s a chick fight with words and Lorena goes to bite Sookie. Jason runs forward to stop her, but Godric gets there first. Godric tells Bill to escort Lorena from his house.
Outside, Lorena tells Bill that she still loves him, but she’s humiliated by this. Bill isn’t very sympathetic.
Then Luke enters the house. Jason asks what he’s doing there, but Luke pushes him away. Luke gets the attention of the group. Under his jacket he’s got a homemade bomb with silver chains and mini stakes. He presses the detonation button and fade to black. Nice.
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