I knew that Big Love was different from anything I had ever watched from the first episode. I mean who would think a show about a Mormon polygamist family would be interesting? When the HBO series first came out in 2006, many people were against the show. They refused to watch a show that so-called celebrated polygamy and the degradation of women. However, the show was everything but that. It showed the inner workings and the struggles of a polygamous marriage. We learned so many important lessons from Bill and the sister wives.
Here are a few life lessons that this classic show taught us:
1. Love isn’t exactly a “one size” fits all type of thing
If it’s one thing that Big Love taught us is that love comes in all shapes and sizes. It’s hard to believe that one man could be in love with multiple women. On the show, it was evident that Bill deeply loved all of his wives. For the most part, he did a great job at giving them the attention and love that they all deserved.
2. Polygamy is all about family
Perhaps the biggest misconception about polygamy is that it’s a misogynistic practice that only benefits the man. However, in Big Love polygamy was more about expanding their family and enjoying their lives together. All of the sister wives lived next door to each other and the entire family ate breakfast and dinner together every day. When it came to budgeting, making big purchases, and even making major decisions it was done as a family. They even had a communal pot in which any of the wives who worked a job would have to deposit their earnings and the money would go towards bills, necessities, and allowances. If Bill was interested in dating the women, all the sister wives were included in the dating process. Polygamy was more about family than a man getting his rocks off with his three wives. You would think a man in Bill’s position would be envied but in reality, providing for three wives and the families he created with all of them was a job itself. He also had to deal with three different personalities and do his best to keep them all happy without showing any favoritism. It was obvious on the show that Bill was overwhelmed and stretched thin.
3. Sisterhoods are powerful bonds that play a critical role in a woman’s life
While the premise of the show was about a man with three wives, Big Love was actually a “pro female show.” The support that Margene, Nicky, and Barbara showed each other, the opportunities that each woman found in the world outside their poly marriage are what actually captured our attention. We witnessed the tremendous growth of each of the wives. Margene the youngest wife was a young, timid woman when she married Bill but she ended up becoming the owner of a very successful jewelry business. Barbara realized that she held the “priesthood” which was a religious position traditionally held by men.
This was an important revelation for Barbara and it marked the beginning of her self-discovery journey. Nicki officially broke ties with her abusive family and she found a sense of security within herself. The transformation that each of the ladies underwent was able to take place because of the strong support they showed each other and when they weren’t on the best of terms. In the series finale, Bill was murdered. Despite this devastating loss, it was clear that the three wives would stick together and forge a new life. This was evidence that their relationship wasn’t through their husband and that show was always centered on the women.
4. Nobody is perfect
It’s no secret that Bill was deeply entrenched in his religion. Despite his unwavering faith, he still represented the everyday man that struggled with “right” and “wrong”. At times even showed moral uncertainty. Bill was a good husband and arguably a great dad but there were instances in which the demands of life threatened to completely overwhelm him.
5. Be careful of what you sacrifice for love
Barbara had sacrificed so much during her marriage that she ended up losing herself. She accepted a lifestyle that deep inside she was never really happy with. As a result, her relationship with Bill suffered. Although she loved her sister wives there was some lingering resentment and towards the end of the series she was determined to focus solely on her happiness even it it meant losing Bill.
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