Arnold Schwarzenegger has done pretty well in his career, but there are some supremely cheesy one-liners that he’s served up throughout the years. It used to be that he could barely speak English and be understood, but after that was dealt with the 80’s and 90’s treated him to some of the worst lines he’d ever had in his life. It wasn’t bad enough that his accent still made some words hard to understand, but giving a guy with a noted film history like his the kind of one-liners that make people laugh at an actor and think that their most important muscle is their weakest isn’t all that cool. I would blame the writers but usually they don’t have the final say. To be fair some of these one-liners have been considered memorable by some people.
But honestly, they’re about the worst lines that Arnold has ever given voice to.
5. Predator-“Stick around.”
This is a movie where they could have had minimal dialogue and it still would have been blockbuster. But of course we can’t have that and any time the hero has the chance they’re going to stick in, pun not intended, a line that’s so horribly obvious that you probably saw it coming from a few minutes ahead of time. It would have been way more impressive if he’d just thrown the knife and moved on.
4. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines-“Talk to the hand.”
Giving the Terminator an attitude just doesn’t work. They tried it in T2 and it didn’t work, it just made the movie a little corny when Arnold had to deadpan the kind of ‘tude that John Connor was trying to give him. It didn’t help at all in this movie either since it’s kind a useless, time-consuming moment in which the Terminator could have just walked on by and said absolutely nothing.
3. Total Recall-“Consider that a divorce.”
Sharon Stone still trying to push that whole “we’re married” scam past Arnold in this scene made no sense. The guy already knew she was shamming despite the fact that he hesitates. Perhaps he’s still giving her a chance to do the right thing or maybe he’s still trying to sort through some very emotional feelings that he still has. But there’s no doubt that he’s done with her when he pulls the trigger a second time.
2. Eraser-“You’re luggage.”
So the CGI on the crocodile was horrible, and yet the one-liner was even worse. I don’t care how powerful that gun was Arnold stood very little chance of actually firing off an accurate shot to put it down with one bullet. Plus, I like Arnold a lot, but in this scene I was almost hoping he’d forget that there were a few other crocs that had been set free when the glass broke.
1. Batman and Robin-“Let’s kick some ice.”
Oh make it stop. Of all the people they could have gotten for this role they had to drag Arnold into it. This trainwreck was nothing but a bunch of one-liners and catchphrases surrounded by a barely respectable dialogue. This had to be one of Arnold’s worst appearances, ever.
Even, “It’s not a tumor!” was better than any of these on any day.
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