We all love a good joke, except when it’s absolutely in the wrong place, like when you are three tabs deep in some question you can’t find the answer to. Love it or hate it, that’s exactly the sort of thing the internet excels at.
The “Amazon Answers” online community shares hilarious examples of people online deciding to not answer someone’s question and just freestyle something. Helpful? No, but pretty funny. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments down below.
#1 “Depends On Your Idea Of Ethics.”
Image source: michaelcraft101
#2 They Are Both Lost
Image source: GhostStink
#3 But Snails Don’t Have Arms
Image source: Zoomorph23
Every product page has a questions section, and every questions section has that one person who reads a perfectly sensible question and decides this is their big moment. Somebody asks whether a phone case fits a certain model, and the top answer is a heartfelt update on the weather. Nobody asked for it, nobody needed it, and yet here we are, grinning at our screens.
Then come the overthinkers, who treat every question like a final exam. Someone asked whether a bike headlight would still work while cycling at the speed of light, and the answer reportedly arrived as a long physics explanation.
#4 Darn It, Elon!
Image source: jeffgolenski
#5 You Think?
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#6 Tell Us How You Really Feel, Barbara
Image source: bking158
Honestly, a physics lecture is a bold choice for a bike light, but we respect the effort. Ask a simple question, receive a lecture or a riddle. That’s the deal. Names make for great punchlines too. When a shopper wrote that an iron arrived with no “Manuel,” one reply refused to hand Manuel over.
#7 Found This While Looking For Snack Care Packages
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#8 Well That’s A Shade Of Blue I Haven’t Heard Of Before
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#9 Buy Local!
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What makes these so fun is the commitment. Nobody in these threads blinks, and nobody apologizes. They read a plain question, spot a tiny opening, and sprint through it like it’s the final lap at the Olympics. The best ones also keep the tone friendly, which is why you laugh instead of groan.
#10 Ask And You Shall Receive
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#11 Dishwasher Safe
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#12 It’s Not Really A Question So We Shouldn’t Expect An Answer
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Think of any questions section as an open mic night where nobody signed up but everyone gets a turn. A shopper asks about shipping, the next person grabs the microphone, and by the third reply the original question is a distant memory. Sometimes the jokes pile up for pages, which is great for readers and rough for anyone who just wanted to know the battery size.
#13 Question Answered
Image source: Feeling_Tough5056
#14 Check Your Facts
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#15 They Bought A Chromebook
Image source: HeWhoShantNotBeNamed
You might wonder how so many random replies end up under products in the first place. Shoppers in a long message board thread point out that Amazon emails people who bought an item and invites them to answer questions from other customers, so plenty of folks get asked about something they barely remember buying.
#16 Hopefully Wasn’t A Serious Question!
Image source: Zoomorph23
#17 Porch Pirate
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#18 One
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#19 Your Average Fool
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#20 Bro Took “I Don’t Know” To Another Level
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#21 Itch Relief Lotion
Image source: bigfisheatlittleone
Plus, some recipients seem to think the email was meant just for them, so they feel they must reply. Some of them respond with a careful, useful note. Others respond with whatever pops into their head at eleven at night. The system is built to be helpful, and the internet is built to be the internet.
#22 You Can Always Count On Mike!
Image source: fionahb
#23 Can’t Answer Your Question Until October
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#24 Need An Order Cancelled
Image source: MeMyMentalHealthAndI
There’s even some research on whether funny reviews change what people buy. In an article for The Conversation, Temple University professor Sunil Wattal explained that funny reviews can make shoppers more interested in a product, but they can also leave people less certain, especially with complex items like flat screen TVs. That makes sense. A joke is great entertainment, but it can’t tell you whether a television has enough ports.
#25 Not Amazon But
Image source: FarAmphibian4236
#26 I Ask Myself The Same Question Every Day…
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#27 What Are You Trying To Say Joanne?
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If you genuinely need a real answer, a few tricks help. Reviews with photos usually say more than the questions section, the product description often buries the details you want near the bottom, and the seller can answer direct questions about sizes and materials. For anything that really matters, such as a gift, double check before you hit the buy button. Treat the joke answers as a bonus and not as a source.
#28 1001 Nights: Ali Baba And The Amazon Reviewers
Image source: YellowOnline
#29 Please Just Buy It
Image source: caviarwall
#30 On A Wii Balance Board
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So brace yourself, because the replies ahead wander wherever they like. The Amazon Answers subreddit has plenty more where these came from, and sellers have even pointed to it on their own forum as the home of funny and silly answers. Scroll slowly, because the best replies are often hiding in the second comment. Consider yourself warned, and maybe keep your drink away from the keyboard.
#31 Don’t Ask Me, It Was Just A Gift
Image source: Fenshire
#32 For A Woman’s Jumpsuit
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#33 I Know It’s Not Facebook But I Saw This Gem On Amazon
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#34 Who’s Right Timmy Or Taffy
Image source: Feeling_Tough5056
#35 Great, Thanks
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#36 A Completely Useless “Answer” To My Question
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#37 I Bet My Kitchen’s Bigger
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#38 Made In The Country Of Silicone
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#39 Air Fryer
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#40 Answered 2+ Years Later With This
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#41 Random Side Story For The Win
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#42 Pink Or Navy Blue
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#43 No
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#44 Thanks, Farm Girl…
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#45 How? No!
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#46 If The Seller Says So
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#47 How Do You Sleep At Night?
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#48 Dumb Question With A Dumb Answer
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#49 Thanks Roxane, That Didn’t Help At All!
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#50 You Don’t Say?
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#51 No
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#52
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#53 Yup
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#54 Thanks For All Your Help, Teresa
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#55 Thanks Denise, Very Helpful!
Image source: Tyrexx_Lannister
#56 Thanks Lady
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#57 I Mean, They’re Right Though
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#58 Magical Elves Included!
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#59 ….okay?…
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#60 Um, They Were Looking For An Answer, Not A Review
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#61 Another One As Useful As A Chocolate Teapot!
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#62 No Thank You
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#63 Regards
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#64 On A Dog Leash
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#65 Not Quite As Impressive As You Think
Image source: ChineseChainsaw
#66 Check
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#67 No
Image source: Chesterton_Sofa
#68 He’s Not Wrong Though
Image source: Vivianite02
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