Most friendships end with a slow fade, and you start to notice that the replies get shorter. Suddenly, the plans get vaguer, and then one day you realize you haven’t seen each other since spring. It’s painful, but at least it’s gradual. Losing an entire friend group is a different story. One week you’re planning a birthday dinner, and the next you discover there’s a new group chat with a new name and you are not in it.
Reddit asked people who’ve been through it to explain what happened, and the answers come with plot twists. Some found out exactly why. Others are still waiting on an explanation, and a few admit it was the best thing that ever happened to them. Grab a snack and settle in, because there’s a lot of group chat drama ahead.
#1
Covid. We were all international students. It happened so suddenly. We were graduating that year. We were planning a party. One day we were told we couldn’t come back to the school, the next our landlords were kicking us out, next we received calls from family telling us the last planes home were leaving. We never got to say goodbye, no final hugs or best wishes.
I lost contact with some of my best friends, friends who never appeared on social media again. Friends from countries now in the middle of war. I love them. I hope they’re safe.
Image source: BaeIz, sobolevskyi/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#2
One of my closest friends within our tight knit group passed away. I had decided to be the one to call everyone, deliver the news, and dropped everything to fly out to his services and be there for all of us. It cost me over $1K.
Fast forward a month or so after and during a little text exchange in our group chat, one of the guys said he wished it was me that d**d instead of our buddy. That one struck a cord deep within me, and nobody Interjected but instead remained silent.
I feel like I lost all of them, and I chose to step away from who I thought were my lifelong friends. I’m in therapy now for a few reasons other than that comment but wow that hurts.
Image source: Choffies, pressmaster/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#3
Stood up for myself. Turns out people don’t like it when you “rock the boat”.
Edit: They all turned on a girl hanging out with us and kicked her out of the cabin to sleep alone on the other side of the camp in the middle of the night. I wasn’t comfortable leaving her alone and went to stay with her which was seen as some kind of betrayal. I didn’t back down and apparently that was a massive problem.
Image source: anon, StockSeller/Magnific (not the actual photo)
Robin Dunbar, the Oxford anthropologist behind the famous “Dunbar’s number” of 150, says our social lives come in layers. There are about 5 people in your innermost circle, 15 in the next ring, 50 after that, and 150 at the outer edge.
Most friend groups live in that 5 to 15 zone, so losing the group doesn’t cost you one friend. It wipes out an entire layer of your support system in a single afternoon. Dunbar also found that friendships need constant upkeep, and without regular contact, they slide down a tier and keep going.
#4
I don’t know.
I’d hosted a Christmas Leftovers party for about a decade and canceled it during the pandemic. They all knew that I was alone on the 25th.
When I invited them to the one a few years ago, they said they all had plans to go to a party at someone’s house but I didn’t get invited.
I don’t think I have any friends anymore.
Image source: NSA_Chatbot, Magnfiic (not the actual photo)
#5
We all got married and moved away and on with our lives. Enough to realize that we weren’t as close as we thought.
Image source: prozactheclown, prostooleh/Magnific (Not the actual photo)
#6
Started seeing a guy, who had a gf. I didn’t know. He straight up lied to me for months and months. Future faked and everything. However, all our mutuals knew he was with someone and cheating, (found this out later) but they vouched for him, told me he was such a great guy. Then I found out about her and was devastated. I went to talk to her. I told her everything. We put together the whole timeline of events and confronted him together. We both agreed to end things with him, but I guess she never did.
I moved on with my life and though I was rather traumatized by the months of insane layers on layers of lies and being used to cheat on someone without my knowledge or consent, I moved on. An entire year later, she starts posting CRAZY s**t, calling me a homewrecking w***e and all this stuff. I was like w*f. So I told my side of the story, about how he was a liar, how when I found out I did the right thing, and how initially she was on the same page. Then he joined in slandering me too. This resulted in 2 years of cyber bullying by people they knew. I was getting d***h threats, harassed from fake social media accounts, people vandalizing my house etc.
I was now even more devastated. I confronted them together, again. They admitted to trying to purposely destroy me because someone had found out what he did and it made him look bad so they were trying to save his reputation by throwing me under the bus.
I continued to fight back, I even got s******l for awhile due to all the harassment and a***e from random a*s people who had never met me, and this is when I find out that my mutuals all knew he had a gf the whole time and was a pos and lied to me and said he was great, AND, I wasn’t even the first one he’d done this exact same thing to.
After they did all this, the friends still hung out with them because they owned a club they liked to go to. Basically it was “Yeah we know he’s a piece of s**t and hurt you and violated your trust and then a whole year later tried to destroy your reputation to cover up his own mistakes, but we really like hanging out at his place so.
So I cut them all off because WHAT THE F**K.
Image source: Calanthetheranger, The Yuri Arcurs Collection/Magnific (not the actual photo)
Rebuilding that layer is a project of its own. Jeffrey Hall, a communication professor at the University of Kansas, measured how long friendship takes to form in a 2018 study. It takes about 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend and around 90 hours to become an actual friend. Close friend territory starts past 200 hours. That’s five full work weeks of hanging out, which explains why starting over feels so exhausting.
#7
We were a group of friends from a D&D group, the DM was the link between everyone. One day, he decides to stop studying and work on a video game idea. He asks if we’d all like to participate, he was coding, I was working on the story, someone else was drawing, etc.
For about a month I spent a lot of my leisure time working on this project, I’m really enjoying it. Then I get a little slower at it due to work, and he tells me he needs me to focus all my energy on this project, so I tell him it’s a fun side project, but I’m not treating it like a job, I’m sorry I didn’t understand that was the expectation, here’s everything I worked on and I’ll let you guys continue on.
Everything is fine for a while. And then I see our Discord conversation, where he is asking his best friends to log in for work, he says he expects them to work 35 hours a week on his project, that it’s super important to him. And I kind of lost it, this guy who’s never had a job, who everyone in this group looks up to because he’s the defacto leader, is emotionally manipulating his friends so he can get free labor from them so that he doesn’t have to get a job. I explain as much in a late night tirade, I try to show the fact that with the hours that everyone has logged over the last few months he would owe each of them thousands of euros in minimum wage, that this is a terrible way to treat employees, let alone friends that you desperately rely on.
And the friends defended him, he answered with nothing but personal attacks, justifying himself by saying he’s helped them in the past, and I walked away.
I hope the other friends came to their senses and stopped letting him walk all over them. The game has not yet come out, some 5 years later, so I think I made the right call there.
Image source: LeFireheart, cookie_studio/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#8
Me out of control doing d***s they got sick of my s**t….
Btw d**g free 302 days today.
Image source: Brokenhip2026, alexandrumusuc/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#9
I was friends with a group of girls who turned around and started bullying me because I stood up for another girl they were bullying. I ended up becoming best friends with the other girl.
Image source: DarkDayzInHell, andreas/Magnific (not the actual photo)
The pain of being dropped is physical, and scientists have the brain scans to prove it. Psychologist Naomi Eisenberger and colleagues put people in an fMRI scanner during a virtual ball-tossing game called Cyberball, where the other players suddenly stopped throwing to them.
The anterior cingulate cortex, a region involved in processing physical pain, lit up. Kipling Williams, who created the game, found that people still felt the sting even when told the other players were computers. If a cartoon ball can do that, a group chat with a new name has no chance.
#10
I walked when I found out the way they’d treated my other friend. I’ll spare the long sordid story, and leave it at they stayed friends with someone they knew for a fact had a****lted her, did a bunch of racism, and also reneged on their word in a way that cost her a major career opportunity.
Good f*****g riddance. May our paths never cross.
Image source: hiddenkobolds, vh-studio/magnific (not the actual photo)
#11
I called out one of their friends for talking about d***ging women’s drinks at bars.
They all justified it from him being a****d when he was a child and kicked me to the curb. I couldn’t be friends with people who associated themselves with a sick minded guy like that anyways so good riddance.
Image source: Fort_Nagrom, wavebreakmedia_micro/Magnific (Not the actual photo)
#12
Quit drinking. Turns out they were just buddies that drank with me. I made their drinking look better because I was almost always more drunk than anyone else.
Image source: anon, gpointstudio/Magnific (not the actual photo)
So why does the entire group go along with it? Solomon Asch’s conformity experiments in the 1950s are a good starting point. About 75% of participants went along with an obviously wrong answer at least once, just because everyone else in the room had said it first. Asch also found that a single ally who broke from the pack made people far more likely to speak up. In a friend group, that ally usually isn’t there, and everyone assumes someone else will say something.
#13
I stopped being the one who organized everything. Turns out I wasn’t part of the friend group. I was their unpaid event coordinator.
Image source: Outrageous-Toe-2048, benzoix/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#14
I started having some pretty serious health issues. I guess you find out who your friends are and who the users are real quick when times get tough. I’m alright now, but trying to start again and make friends in your 40s is an interesting challenge
Edit: I just want to say thank you to everyone who has read and commented. I appreciate your support and stories, and my heart goes out to absolutely anyone who has had a relatable experience.
Image source: Talusi, krakenimages.com/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#15
I had a girlfriend, and a girl friend
Girl friend was part of my long term circle, known her for over 10 years, she had a boyfriend, never made a move on me, she was just “one of the boys”
Then I get a girlfriend outside the group
Within the same month, girl friend makes a move on me during the only outing that my girlfriend didn’t partake in
I tell my girlfriend via phone call when I find myself alone, she is now politely wary of my girl friend
Girl friend breaks up with her boyfriend the next day
Girl friend starts talking to me more than usual about anything and everything, encouraged by the entire rest of my circle of friends, they help her, even plan other outings where it suspiciously lands on a day where my girlfriend can’t come
I’m not stupid, I knew what was happening, I chose my girlfriend, circle of friends choose the girl friend.
Image source: Bubby_K, fxquadro/magnific (Not the actual photo)
Social psychology has a few more explanations for how it spreads. Fritz Heider’s balance theory, from 1946, says people feel tension when two friends disagree about a third person, and that they tend to resolve it by lining up with whoever they’re closest to.
Then there’s the “black sheep effect,” documented in the late 1980s by researchers including Jose Marques, which found that groups judge a disliked member more harshly than they’d judge an outsider doing the exact same thing. Put them together, and one bad story can flip a whole group before the person at the center knows there’s a story.
#16
I was a nerd who started hanging out with the “cool” kids that smoked p*t and partied in fields. After high school, they slowly over time started using harder s**t… and so did I. This was RIGHT when the f**tanyl crisis started, so I knew that if I kept it up, I would end up in jail or d**d.
So I voluntarily went into treatment, and got a job shortly after. I’m 11 years sober now, and married with 2 kids.
Several of the people from that circle have passed away since, mostly from overdoses, and before they hit 30. Those who survived are sober and generally doing well.
Image source: bethramone, The Yuri Arcurs Collection/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#17
I got cancer and didn’t just bounce back. One of them said something along the lines of, you’re always going to be sick, so why should I waste time interacting with you.
Image source: First_manatee_614, magnific (not the actual photo)
#18
I broke up with a guy and it appeared to be “out of nowhere” to everyone. Everyone took his side and got weird with me to the point where we lost contact.
Nobody even asked me what happened. If they had, maybe I would have had the strength to tell someone that he physically a****lted me. Can’t say for sure though, I didn’t even say the words for another two years after it happened.
Image source: razzledazzle626, jcomp/magnific (not the actual photo)
You are far from the only one sitting in an empty chat. The Friendship Recession reports that 17% of Americans say they don’t have close friends, up from 3% in 1990. The number of people with ten or more close friends fell from 33% to 13% over the same period. Men fared worst, with 15% reporting no close friends at all. Loneliness is spreading fast enough that US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued a formal advisory on it in 2023.
#19
Uncontrolled bipolar disorder. I probably could have gone back at some point but I was too shy. Too late now.
Image source: 314159265358979326, user21155762/magnific (not the actual photo)
#20
My little girl d**d of leukemia and all my friends disappeared after the funeral, not a message, not a call, nothing. People who I grew up with, have been together since first grade, just vanished.
Image source: YoshiTheFluffer, wirestock/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#21
Chronic illness that hit when I was 15. Somewhat understandably young kids don’t know how to deal with that and they bailed. Didn’t help that I had a twin that they could all just replace me with.
Image source: youngatbeingold, magnific (not the actual photo)
The stakes are higher than hurt feelings. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychologist at Brigham Young University, reviewed 148 studies covering more than 300,000 people in 2010 and found that those with stronger social ties had a 50% greater chance of survival over the study periods. She compared the effect on mortality to quitting smoking. A friend group is a health asset, so it makes sense that losing one feels like a crisis.
#22
I was the b**t of every joke cause I liked “weird” things like anime and video games. They were genuinely just means girls.
Image source: cereal_state, katemangostar/magnific (not the actual photo)
#23
I had to move away for work, and the first year I was gone I realized none of my friends reached out to me, I just reached out to them. Staying in contact got harder as I realized they didn’t really care about me or my life.
When I moved back to the area a few years later, we hung out once after I reached out. I realized how disinterested they were in my life and how even if we were physically in the same place again, the years of them neglecting the relationship couldn’t be erased or repaired.
It really sucked and was extremely hurtful to find out people i had cared about deeply were only interested in the friendship when it was convenient.
Image source: Sunflowersoemthing, maksymiv_yura/magnific (not the actual photo)
#24
Turns out most of the people I knew my entire life were worthless c***s who were either exploiting me, barely tolerating me or just not very good friends.
But, you have to have the worst s**t happen to you before you will ever find out. You’ll certainly have had some clues over the years. Little micro-aggressions or mistreatment that you chalked up to anomalies or you gave them the benefit of the doubt at the time.
I find that if you have friends who ever suddenly seem a bit stand-offish or colder or sometimes even openly aggressive and judgmental when you are succeeding or actually doing well in life….those will be the exact same people that abruptly make themselves very scarce and exhaustingly unhelpful when you eventually have some soul-destroying crisis.
It’s never any one thing per se — it’s hard to know for sure until it’s actually all happening and you’re going thru hell — but it’s really eye opening to suddenly feel more isolated and alone and even lonelier during devastating and traumatic experiences as a result of friends and even family backing off completely.
It actually adds an additional layer of trauma to it all.
I can’t even fathom ever treating somebody I considered a friend or even somebody I liked in the way I have been these past 9 months.
It was already a really harrowing time and it remains so even in the aftermath — the downward spiral continues but by far the emotional labour I have had to endure in attempts to ask for help or explain my situation or even quantify or qualify my circumstances like I am arguing to be seen as even a f*****g person — is the worst s**t.
It’s truly a cruel world exacerbated by a lack of humanity or basic empathy at times — and when you have it reflected to you thru people you thought were friends or family you hoped would be more supportive — it’s pretty f****d.
That said, better to know now than never know or find out when you’re even older. The truth is you likely were never real friends with these kinds of people.
You served a purpose or played a certain role in their lives and the second you don’t live up to or fulfil that designation in the way they need you to remain — they vanish.
F**k ‘em.
Image source: National-Milk-7426, koldunova_anna/magnific (not the actual photo)
The good news is that you can rebuild, and it may be easier than you fear. Psychologist Gillian Sandstrom found that people who chat with more acquaintances in a day, even casual ones like the barista or a classmate, report feeling happier and more connected.
A 2018 study in Psychological Science found that people tend to underestimate how much new acquaintances like them after a conversation. The stranger you’re nervous to approach is probably already rooting for you. That’s a decent starting point, and the hours will add up.
Have you ever had to go thorugh a total friend group dismanteling? Tell us about it in the comments.
#25
I was always that guy who was there for everyone, anytime they ever needed someone, even to the detriment of my own success/career.
When I truly needed someone, nothing but crickets. Nothing of value was lost that day.
Image source: Xpalidocious, user21132522/magnific (not the actual photo)
#26
Well.. the first time my dad was d***g, and we knew it was coming and I told them exactly what I would need for support and none of them came to any services.
And this time, I fainted behind the wheel and crashed and got a stage 3 concussion, was arrested under the assumption that I drunk or high because I was exhibiting every sign of a stage 3 concussion and the cops thought I was drunk.. and now they’re all assuming I’m the kind of person to drink and drive.
I don’t do ANY d***s, and one of my best friends was k****d by a drunk driver in college. If I have a mimosa at brunch, I won’t drive until AT LEAST after dinner and that’s only if I have to.
But.. they’re now saying that all my symptoms were from drinking..
All of the breathalizers said zero, the blood tests said zero, the only thing they could find was that one of the eye tests pointed to someone who huffs gasoline OR had a level 3 concussion.
But NNOOOO… I have no time for people who don’t believe what I say and pretend to be my friend.
Image source: sneezed_up_my_kidney, nomadsoul1/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#27
Main girl in my wife’s friend group decided to go mean girl on her during her graduation party for her doctorate. I spent months setting it up and had a petting zoo with highland cows come to our house and smoked a bunch of meat. They came didn’t eat or engage with everyone then made excuses to leave and tried texting others at the party to leave to meet at a restaurant. Our other friends told us they had been getting contacted for a week to do that. After the main girl made all different lies about why to include saying I made inappropriate comments then that I never told them the plan for food and timing even though I had all of the texts. It sucked since we knew them for years but my wife was understandingly pissed and cut them off unless she got a honest apology which never happened. Weird way for people in their 30s and 40s to act.
Image source: Iskaban, magnific (not the actual photo)
#28
They got really into league of legends and I was the only one in the group that thought the fanbase was toxic and didn’t find the game itself fun at all. It got to the point where LoL was all they would do and talk about exclusivity and I just faded myself outta the group.
Image source: Xanthotoxin, The Yuri Arcurs Collection/Magnific (not the actual photo)
#29
I had gotten used to years of weird rumors & an unearned reputation as a spoiled princess. I figured that’s just what happens when you’re determined to stay positive no matter what (& there was an awful lot of “what” in my life back then).
Friends kept dropping off my radar for seemingly no reason. There’d be strange misunderstandings or just out of nowhere they’d suddenly loathe me. I’m autistic so I kind of chalked it up to still not figuring out how to interface with neurotypical people, despite the literal years of effort & study & therapy.
I eventually found out my so-called best friend hated me for being privileged. Or what she thought of as privileged.
Essentially, I’d gone through extreme trauma from 8ish to 13, when my father got custody of me. I didn’t meet her until a few years later, so all she really knew about was the horses & the travel & the insane amounts of support & love he showered me with. She had no idea all that came from his efforts to ensure I wouldn’t grow up to be broken by everything that had happened.
She had typical jerk 90s parents who screamed & threw things while both neglecting & smothering their children. So to her, I guess I really seemed like a spoiled princess.
I really adored her though. We took her shopping with us nearly every time we went. My daddy helped her buy a car. We even took her on vacations with us. (Big, nice ones in foreign lands with white sand beaches.)
In exchange, she sabotaged every relationship I had with my peers. Orchestrated me breaking up with the boy who’d eventually become my husband & dated him. Tried to get a mutual friend of ours to break us up when we inevitably came back together. Endlessly talked c**p about me & made up things to keep people aggravated with me. Purposefully misinterpreted any social stumble in the worst possible light.
All while smiling in my face, “borrowing” my clothes, & spending my daddy’s money.
Eventually her actions became more and more flagrant & even I finally realized she was a toxic person so I walked away from all of it.
A few friends stuck around. Mostly those I’d made before I even knew her. But it soured me on trusting others outside of my family & I’m introverted enough to not really care.
I have my husband (of 25yrs!), my kids, my family & my critters.
She can have her drama.
Image source: WastelandMama
#30
Someone lied to cover up their own f**kup. That lie ruined my social life.
Image source: BlackFenrir, magnific (not the actual photo)
#31
Found out I am a trans woman. They weren’t supportive.
Image source: IdkAGoodUserNameOpps
#32
I got d*****d and r***d by the most lovable dorky nerd in the group. They all told me I was disgusting and then froze me out and took his side during the police report and questioning.
Resulted in me moving to another city to build my life up from the ground.
He got a slap on the wrist and I got several years with of mental health problems.
Fun times.
Image source: isleepforfun
#33
My ex boyfriend was cheating on me with all my ex friends. One of them got mad because she found out she wasn’t the only side piece and decided to tell all of us. Blew up our entire friend group. That s**t is really funny looking back on it.
Image source: graaah1
#34
They wanted to bring a new girl into the group. We went over to her house for dinner and the vibes were… off. I couldn’t entirely pinpoint it but I sort of didn’t like the new girl and I questioned my friends values after the things I saw.
Weeks later one of the friends tells me that none of them like new girl either, it’s just she’s been sleeping with her husband so we want to spend time at her house
I cut all of them off at that point.
Image source: Thick-Mouse1776
#35
I was into this one guy in the group. Over time, I realised he was an a*****e who treated everyone he was romantically involved with terribly. No one else in the group had any issue with how he acted and I gradually realised almost all of them treated their partners terribly. They didn’t care how he acted because they all acted that way too. I just hadn’t noticed until I became romantically involved with one of them.
Image source: whatwhatwhat82
#36
Sometimes a whole friend group is held together by one person who always makes the plans. Once they stop reaching out, everyone just quietly drifts apart.
Image source: No-Conference9068
#37
They met up one day and all decided to push me out after months of slowly distancing themselves from me, complete with a long discord message about how I suck and my face makes them sad. (I’ve forgotten the rest of it, and I really don’t want to reread it.)
Image source: jellicle_kats
#38
Decided to sober up. It’s not fun or helpful to hang out with folks focused on not being sober if you want to be.
Image source: 2gutter67
#39
They chose the person who dumped me (who also spun a web of lies and tried to ruin my life).
Years later he did the same to his then-partner and the penny slowly dropped for each and every one of them who contacted me in dribs and drabs. I made it clear they made their choice when I needed them more than ever, and had absolutely no interest in picking up where we left off. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Image source: Silly_Butterfly_105
#40
Divorce. Everyone kept hanging out with him, and somehow I was the one who got divorced from the friend group, too.
Image source: cuocu
#41
We graduated high school and that was that, no matter how much some of us tried to reach out to the others, they distanced themselves and the group has long been dispersed…
Image source: No_Faithlessness_645
#42
Grew up as a Jehovahs Witness, had tons of friends. I hosted a lot of parties at my place.
Then I realized I was in a cult. So I slowly backed away from it, going to less and less meetings. That worked out for me because those friends weren’t in the same congregation as I so they didnt know. A few months later a jw relative finally spilled the beans that I haven’t been to any meetings to my friend group, word spread fast, and I was kicked out of every group chat and unfriended.
Since then I’ve made some actual long distance friends, but still working on trying to make local ones lol.
Image source: pacowaka
#43
I told myself I would stop calling and see if they ever called or got ahold of me.. its been 20 years since ive recieved a phone call from a friend.
Image source: mmmbudz420
#44
I stopped doing the one thing I knew them through and not a soul ever got in touch with me. So that’s how good friends we were I guess.
Image source: Elegant_Director_305
#45
I moved around a lot when I was a kid, and even more often and much greater distances when I was an adult.
In the back of my mind, I treat all friendships as though they’re temporary. Because for one reason or another, they are.
Image source: risenphoenixkai
#46
AIDS. It went through the Renn Faire community in California like a scythe.
Image source: Kilisut
#47
I let my BPD get in the way of communicating how important they were to me, so i moved across the country. I got too caught up in life to repair what I left behind, and now I’m successful and lonely.
Image source: Mr_Boojangles
#48
Had a buddy in high-school that I lived with and hung out with into early college. We had a whole friend group that’d get together and play all sorts of videos games/DnD, the works.
One day he told me, “being your friend is too much work”. That was the only reason he gave me. Hurt then but it taught me not everyone is here to stay in your life. He still works at his d**d end job and lives in the same, small town apartment complex, nearly a decade later. Wish him the best.
Image source: Muhgwee
#49
Wish I knew.
Went to a different university, came back on a random weekend to hangout which they all agreed to, met at a bar for dinner and drinks – apparently they all agreed to meet an hour earlier and didn’t tell me. As I arrived they were super cold to me, waited for my food to arrive then all got up and left.
I never had many friends in highschool, so that really hurt.
Image source: AceChipEater
#50
I got into therapy and realized that they were never really there for me. And when I tried to bring up that I was the only one that showed up they told me that I was making my love conditional.
Image source: theRemixNow
#51
Me and my husband found out that one of our friends scammed another one out of literally thousands of pounds (UK), we know it’s true cos our friend broke down and we saw all the receipts and messages
Then he started badmouthing said friend behind his back, all the time being all “I stand up for my friends, we’re closer than family, you’re my brother” etc.
We had a friend group of like 8 other people. We stopped associating with this person, we told him, in private, exactly why. So he started badmouthing us. Friend who had been scammed stood up for us and it all came out to the group.
Rest of the group were all, “Well he’s never done anything to US, so we’re not getting involved”
Ditched the lot of them. Sorry but don’t let someone be a s*****g to others just because they don’t do it to you.
Image source: Vix3nG
#52
Graduated high school and got jobs or went to college. Our schedules never matched up, and eventually we all stopped trying. If I see them randomly in the wild, I meet them happily. We say things like, “is your number still this? We should catch up!”
We don’t. Then I see another member in Target 6 years later for us to do the same thing. It’s okay. Time and change are not my enemy, but these are still, in a way, my friends.
Image source: Stunning_Celery_6556
#53
I had a planned surgery that happened to fall on the day my d&d group met, so obviously I was not in attendance. They held a vote to kick me out and it passed. Then I was informed of the results over text.
I don’t know how much of it was the surgery or the pain medication, but I cried continuously for the next 12 hours. Some of it was active crying with my participation, but the rest was, like, water kept coming out of my eyes. No heavy breathing or sobbing or even really feeling much of anything, because I was very numb after a while, just, like, as I was existing in bed and trying to watch Netflix I was having to deal with the logistical problem of water continuously running down my face.
I genuinely had no inkling the group wasn’t happy with me. When I talked to them later, at a non d&d meetup, no one wanted to take ownership of the decision. They all just pointed fingers at this one girl. I went to her and asked for an explanation and after a lot of aggressive evasion and putting the question back on me, she said my inappropriate jokes made her uncomfortable.
I pressed, because I didn’t think I made inappropriate jokes. She grudgingly clarified I joked about s*****e. I called her a liar as respectfully as I could, and she further clarified that there was a singular time when we were getting fast food and I asked the guy at the counter if the restaurant used peanut oil, because I am very allergic, and when I wasn’t satisfied in the confidence of his answer, I said that he should double check because if I d**d I would haunt him.
So, after getting this explanation, I then tried to explain to her that this was the opposite of a joke about s*****e. This was a joke about how much I wanted to live. That I would take revenge if I d**d. But she said no, it had been triggering to her and her trauma around s*****e, and so she needed me to not attend d&d anymore, for her personal safety. But I could still come to game night and I could still come with them to the anime convention we all attended.
And I’m so f*****g undiagnosed autistic woman that I was like “okay! And I’ll work extra hard to show you that I’m a safe person who is worthy of your trust!” So that she had to escalate and escalate and escalate how cruel she was to me until I realized that I should go away now.
What finally did it was her making multiple statements about exposing me to peanuts. One was about coming to my workplace and rubbing peanuts on my keyboard, and the other was about if we were all drinking and I passed out, doing it to me directly. My social awareness had, at least, progressed to the point that I understood that people who want to k**l you are not friends with you anymore.
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#54
I grew a spine. They couldn’t take it.
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#55
I was going through the worst time of my life, and somehow everyone disappeared.
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#56
We just suddenly lost contact, and that’s fine. Sometimes, we grow up but we don’t do it with the people that were there with us, but that doesn’t mean that we’re no longer friends.
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#57
D***s. More d***s. I never did d***s. My best friend got into d***s and he’s m**hed out somewhere on the street still homeless. Very sad.
Another friends girl kept hitting on me and I kept turning her down. I had nooo interest in his girl. Apparently he cut ties with me. They got married. Never heard from him in over a decade. I got one friend left. Smh.
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#58
I quit drinking, they drank more.
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#59
One married friend was having an affair with another married friends wife. The guy who got cheated on was the friend that worked to invite and include everyone for gatherings. The whole group never hung out together again.
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#60
Had a blowup with the chick of the group with ultimate main character syndrome and since she was apparently the glue that kept the whole d**n group together, we basically all went our separate ways after hs. Without her constant control, (basically do what she wants or you’ll be excluded) we realized we were better off that way. Narcissists are truly something else.
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