It’s no secret that women are often not safe, and that men are mostly to blame. According to the United Nations, “about 90 per cent of all homicides recorded worldwide were committed by male perpetrators.”
An average of 137 women and girls lose there lives at the hands of an intimate partner or family member every single day. And that’s not counting all the others who fall victim to criminals they’ve never met, or those who survive being attacked. It goes without saying that many women are living in fear and need to take drastic steps to ensure their own safety.
Someone asked, “Women who are single and live alone, what steps do you take to make yourself feel safe?” and a series of very smart responses followed. From getting a dog, leaving a man’s shoes at the front door, and even keeping a fire escape ladder near your bedroom window, many ladies are not taking any chances. Here are some of the best tips to scroll through before you go to bed tonight.
#1
First order of business: change ALL of your locks on your house. It’s a simple, sure way to know you are the only one with a key! Youtube videos can help if you need it.
Get to know your neighbors. They are the most likely ones that will call the law if they hear a disturbance and can’t get ahold of you!
Consider a camera system on your house. Front door, driveway, back door. Positioned so you can see faces and license plates.
Buy some wasp spray. Not only for wasps but it is the BEST mace substitute because you can spray someone in the face 10 feet away.
I would not divulge to any stranger that you live alone. There was a question a couple days ago about “does anyone yell for their SO when you take delivery to feel safe when home alone?” There are some good home safety tips in that thread.
Image source: Critical_Chicken4750, Jsme MILA
An estimated 840 million women – that’s almost one in three – have been subjected to some type of violence at least once in their life. The United Nations notes that violence at the hands of a stranger is widespread but highly under-reported.
“Less than 40 per cent of the women who experience violence seek help of any sort. In the majority of countries with available data on this issue, women who do seek help look to family and friends and very few seek support from formal institutions, such as police and health services,” reveals the UN Women site.
With such scary statistics, and no end to violence against women in site, it’s imperative that women take steps to protect themselves.
#2
Get a dog, whether it’s a tiny alert dog that will bark if something is off, or a big dog to defend you.
Leave a pair of men’s shoes at the door so if someone breaks in, they might think twice.
Have a can of pepper spray somewhere in the house.
Image source: Novelist97, Joydeb Biswas
#3
1. Try to choose an area based on safety.
2. Get an alarm/ camera system. They’re pretty cheap nowadays and when I accidentally called the police, they were at my house in three minutes.
3. Don’t do dumb things. Keep your doors and windows locked. If you think someone is following you, DO NOT drive to your house, drive somewhere else. Don’t keep a spare key under your doormat. Just be aware of your surroundings.
4. Remember that statistically you aren’t likely in danger in your own home. Practice basic safety everywhere. I keep a really loud whistle on my keychain and, back when I was dating, I always told someone where I was going and turned on the Find My Phone app, and asked them to call me if I wasn’t where I said I would be.
Image source: IKnowAllSeven, panumas nikhomkhai
Many of us were warned of “stranger danger” as kids, but experts say the biggest threat of violence towards women often comes from people known to you.
While learning martial arts or taking a self-defence class is useful, it’s equally important to understand how and why violence happens. “Violence is messy, frenzied, nasty and up-close – there are no rules,” explains the Streetwise Defence site. “There is no time to get into the ‘right’ position to deploy your kick or punch or use a wrist-lock, thumb-lock or any other manoeuvre.”
This is why you need to understand when and how violence can be de-escalated, and when and how to respond physically.
#4
Make sure that you don’t give identifying information on social media. There are people on reddit who have scanned a person’s entire history and found out where they lived due to clues from random posts.
Make sure that you are careful about what pictures you post. People have tracked others through photos they took in their neighborhood. Strip all location data from photos before posting them online. Yes, I’m pretty paranoid but you asked.
Image source: terrapharma, cottonbro studio
#5
I recently moved into my hopefully forever home and I’ve had home security set up. Honestly, that is one thing I would advise you spend on and make sure you get the best option available. Make sure all areas outside are covered. I also have security inside.
I would also recommend in purchasing a good quality safe that can be placed somewhere out of sight.
Car keys, ensure you do not keep them anywhere near the front of the house. This applies to newer car models as thieves can steal your car without the key. It’s advised you always keep them in a box somewhere where it’s not in good range of the car.
As the house I purchased is on the bigger side and has multiple rooms, I do keep the lights on in some of them when it gets dark. I just feel safer this way. I can sleep better and if I do need to get around the house, it won’t be completely dark.
If all else fails, it’s time to watch Home Alone and put that plan in action.
Image source: NotATransponster, Alan Quirván
#6
Haven’t seen this mentioned here, but I only have my initials and surname on my name tag. Then it’s not immediately clear my house is inhabited by a woman.
I’m unsure if in other countries it’s common to have your first name on your name tag though 😅.
Image source: ijskonijntje, cottonbro studio
Awareness is 95% of self defence, say the experts.
“What we mean by this is that self defence is about not getting into a violent situation in the first place,” they explain. “Yes, there will always be occasions that can’t be avoided but these are few and far between.”
They add that being aware of your environment and the people in it can help you avoid becoming a victim of violence. Trusting your gut instinct is super important. Your instinct or intuition is your body’s internal warning system, and when it alerts you, you need to pay attention.
#7
I’ll add another “nothing special” to the recommendations. I have lived alone in various areas and types of dwellings for over 10 years with no issues.
That said, I do take basic precautions:
* meet your neighbors. You don’t have to be besties (and often better not to be too chatty til you know them) but know them well enough to have contact info for one or two, and find out about the neighborhood watch, local safety, and so on.
* keep your car locked and preferably in your garage. If you have a garage, IT IS NOT STORAGE, IT IS FOR YOUR CAR. My neighborhood has a crazy high occurrence of car prowls but almost no other crime, so simply by putting my car in the garage I’ve significantly reduced my risk. It took two months from moving in and seeing someone try all my doors on my driveway security camera before I did this. And speaking of the garage, make sure the door is ALWAYS closed and there’s a good, securely locked door between the house and garage
* when you do have to have someone in your house, such as a repair person, make sure someone else knows about it, who they are, or at least what company they are from. Bonus points if a friend can actually be there, but that’s often not possible. In my case, I happen to have (cheap) cameras in a few of the main rooms due to the cats, so I always be sure to casually mention that there are cameras recording inside the house as well as the obvious outside cameras
* don’t have valuables placed where they are easy to see from outside. Namely, don’t put a giant expensive TV and stereo system right in front of a street-facing picture window with no drapes! Just getting in the simple habit of closing any drapes and blinds on street-facing windows as dark falls is usually enough to keep most people from seeing in.
Image source: blackcatspurplewalls, Enes Ersahin
#8
Something my mom had to learn first hand was to change up your routine every now and then. Before I was even born, my mom’s place was robbed because they knew her routine and when she would be gone (super super creepy, I know). So it’s something to keep in mind (obviously you can’t change your work schedule, but small things like changing up when you do the shopping, errands, etc).
Image source: smoothjazz1, cottonbro studio
#9
I bought door jams and extra window locks. They’re inexpensive and effective. Always keep your shades turned downwards so no one can peek in. And keep on a light road facing.
Tell people you have a roommateS even if you don’t have one. I told people I lived with family and would say that if anyone asked. They’ll assume multiple people live with you.
You can rig up your own security camera by using an iPad or another phone and have it Skype your phone while you sleep so if you hear/feel anything that’s off you can immediately look. (I wasn’t allowed to put in a security system when I rented)
If you have an SO or best friend make it a habit to text them good morning and good night EVERYDAY. That way if god forbid something happened they’ll know something is up and to check on you.
I’m big flashlight person. A strong flashlight can disable and blind someone from far away long enough for you to get away. Plus it’s a good blunt object that usually has a good grip or a loop, so you don’t drop it. Knives or even a pen can help. Hold it with the sharp part out by you pinky. It’s a better and more natural grip and you won’t have to wind you hand up as much to use it. Go for the eyes or throat.
Buy a fire escape ladder if you need to leave through your bedroom window in an emergency.
And remember EVERYTHING can be used as a weapon!
Image source: Skipuella, Getty Images
Streetwise Self Defence’s team goes on to give examples of how your gut feeling might warn you of danger and what you should do.
For example, if you get an uneasy feeling that your date is ‘too good to be true’, you’re probably right – be safe, don’t commit, don’t share personal information, walk away if you need to. Or, if you sense that a man is following you, he probably is – cross the road, run away.
#10
I had someone break into my apartment once, so immediately after I bought an emergency bat. It’s just a heavy metal baseball bat. I keep it by my bed so when I hear noises at night I can stalk the house with it to check things out. It makes me feel better to have it.
Image source: pinkhairchik, Teguh Sugi
#11
Read something the other day about shouting ‘food’s here!’ to your empty house whenever you get takeaway delivered to your door.
The things women have to think about in order to stay safe is just wild.
Image source: lkap28, MART PRODUCTION
#12
Lots of comments so not sure if this was said but learn how to do the heimlich maneuver on yourself. Yes I’ve started to choke once or twice and had a couple scary moments. I always carry my phone with me, even to the bathroom, because you honestly don’t know when you’ll need to call 911.
Make sure all your smoke detectors work, have carbon monoxide detectors, know where your water shut off valve is in case of a leak, and know where your flashlights are (yes even if you have one on your phone). If you have gas make sure you have a long lighter so you can relight pilot lights if need be.
Image source: Crosswired2, Ilya Komov
If you don’t trust the random stranger who approaches you in the street to ask a question, don’t answer them and don’t engage. Just get away from the situation. And if you suddenly get a feeling in a crowd that something bad is about to happen, listen to your instinct, move to the edge of the crowd and walk away.
The experts add that trusting your gut doesn’t only apply to when you’re around strangers. For example, if you feel uncomfortable that your partner is asking too much detail about where you are going, who you are spending time with, etc., you shouldn’t dismiss it. “Tell them that’s not acceptable and talk to a friend for support,” they advise.
#13
Get yourself a 10 pound fire extinguisher and keep it near the bed. The powder blinds and chokes and the cylinder is an aluminum bat minus the handle. You can also use the bottle to break the window to get out in a fire. No one questions a fire extinguisher its just part of your home safety stuff, keep a good flashlight and a first aid kit with it and your a well prepared girl scout who can blind and choke a man with a simple asphyxiation.
Image source: c3h8pro, Jaycee300s
#14
When you drive home, get into the habit of backing your car into your driveway or garage. It is much safer to get away if some crook plans to chase you. Plus, as you pass it before you back up, you get to glimpse into the area and you can be on alert if something seems off.
Image source: hafetysazard, Botond Dobozi
#15
My mom taught me when I was young to never walk into a dark house. Leave a light in the front of the house on, so when you walk in, you can tell if anything is off.
Image source: abbyahmazing, Zafer Erdoğan
Trusting your intuition could one day save your life.
“It could be an uneasy feeling in your gut, butterflies in your tummy, goosebumps, tightness in the chest or a ‘knowing’ feeling that something bad is going to happen. Listen to it and act on it. Never tell yourself you are being silly,” they say. “It’s always better to get away and be wrong than to stay and become the victim of violence.”
#16
The place I used to work would occasionally get cardboard cutouts for promotional reasons. We got one in for a NASCAR driver one day, but my boss never set it up… It just sat there in the office. So I asked if I could have it. I had it standing by my front window, so the shadow of a person was always in my house (I’d move him daily so it wasn’t obvious my housemate was cardboard).
Image source: TangToTheMoon, Elliott Brown
#17
Burglars like concealment. No bushes next to the house if they arent thorny. Motion activated lights as well, on every side of the house if possible.
The average house door is easy as pie to kick in. Ive done it. You can have the most solid door ever built, but the door jamb is just 1/4 inch thick pine. Go online and get yourself a door armor kit.
Check out Armor concepts
This will take your door from anchored in thin pine, to anchored in steel thats screwed into the very stud frame of your house. But none of this will help if your door has a large window. If it has that, theyll just smash it. So get 3m window security film if it does. Or just replace it.
This will take a door kick from 1 or 2, to dozens. Giving you a much larger time to get law enforcment to you, or to prepare yourself with a weapon and barricade yourself in your room.
Also, never leave ground floor windows unlocked.
The last tidbit i have is this. These days most burglarys occur in broad daylight. When people should be at work, and kids at school.
Image source: Boogaloogaloogalooo, Brett Sayles
#18
Lock doors 24/7. Keep blinds closed when gone and at night. Tuck electronics away from view when gone if blinds are left open (for cat). Act like someone else lives there. If someone is lingering outside or nearby, I talk into my apartment before locking it up. I keep my pepper spray ready when I go home late.
Image source: pieapplekitten, Kajetan Sumila
#19
I watched a YouTube video once that talked about day vs night intruders – they come for different things, so plan differently for both. Day intruders assume you and your neighbors are not home and can be brazen. Night intruders often go for the garage because people usually leave the door into the house from the garage unlocked. Be sure to clip the emergency garage door pull (usually orange) up and away so that a garage door window can’t be broken and the emergency pull yanked. Lock your door that leads into the house from the garage. Don’t leave step-ladders, ladders or scaffolding, etc., outside during the day or night. Super easy way to get in.
Image source: Lilworldtraveler, Erik Mclean
#20
When I moved into my apartment, my mom pointed out that with my blinds (the traditional wooden slat ones) sometimes from different angles you can see in to a room even if they look totally closed to you on the inside. She went outside and we spent some time figuring out the best position for them to be in so no one could see in to my place. I would recommend having a friend help you check that out if you have that kind of blind on your windows! Or change the blind to a different kind if that’s possible!
Image source: cbluntz, Eline Spee
#21
1. Have a travel friendly door lock that insures that even someone with a key to my rented apartment can’t get in.
2. Never have any client accounts in coffee shops or clothing stores, often they ask for where you live to send you subscribtions. You never know if an employee is dangerous.
3. Take a martial arts class a few time a week.
4. Carry minimal tools in purse or pocket when walking alone in case you feel threatened.
5. Have a male friend escort you. Back home or into your car as much as possible.
6. If someone does approach you make sure you have way of making noise and bringing attention to yourself. There can always be a bystander… you never know. Have a whistle or any other device that will make noise.
7. If you have an Apple Watch create shortcut sentences that will be sent to certain people Incase of you being in a life threatening situation
8. Create a routine, go by the same places as often as you can, try and be kind to everyone, if you go missing someone will notice.
9. Have a camera outside your apartment. Hidden.
10. Don’t let people you’ve just met pick you up at your house.
Image source: pamytheg, Ketut Subiyanto
#22
When I lived alone I would always set the door alarm when I was home, never when I left. It wasn’t my TV I cared about as much as it was my safety. Knowing I was likely to hear any attempt to get in a door helped me sleep better.
I think they sell door dingy things for fairly inexpensive if cost is an issue for you.
Image source: kap_pek, Mohamed Nohassi
#23
This may sound like doing too much, but I asked my friend who owned trucks to come over to my house to hang out periodically, and even traded cars with them from time to time, to leave the truck parked in my driveway. My neighbors thought that there were two of us living here for the longest time, thinking my husband or boyfriend lived here too. (Neither is true) It was all for show, but it made it seem like I wasn’t here alone. I also have two labradors that bark when an ant farts.
Image source: iamcrazynuts, João Saplak
#24
I picked a super safe neighborhood, with at least 2 doors between my apartment and the outside and no ground floor windows. Off street parking close to the building that is well lit. I also live by the town hall, fire dept, ambulance dispatch, and other emergency services. If there was one change I could make I would add another lock to my personal apartment door but I am not allowed to do so in my lease. I keep pepper spray by my bed as well. I usually feel more scared of a possible animal (bear, raccoon, fox) coming to me at night than any person.
Image source: lickmysackett, cottonbro studio
#25
I have an alarm system that I never activated (came with the house) but left the signs in the yard and stickers on the doors. Just bought Blink cameras and waiting for my BF to put them up. My brother lives here with me now so I feel a little more secure than the 5 years before he moved in but the stickers and signs made me feel a better back then.
Image source: yowza_wowza, Erik Mclean
#26
When you replace your locks, put 6 inch screws in the latch of the wall. The screws will catch wood in the wall and make it harder for someone to kick your door in.
Edit: also consider buying an additional Door Reinforcement lock that will also have 6 inch screws. Home Depot sells one by “Prime-Line” that I have used for many years and it helps make me feel a lot safer.
Image source: RandomGeneratorPls, Pixabay
#27
I have these Brinks Security bars on every door. It makes me feel so much more secure. And they are affordable and are available at Home Depot or Walmart.
Image source: baberuthless915, brinkslocks.com
#28
If you have an extra remote to your car, keep it on your bedside table. If you hear anything going on outside your window, push the alarm button to scare them away.
Image source: nksdabomb, Mike Bird
#29
So a lot of rappers have skits in their albums that are just of talking. you can play them in the background before getting the door to make it seem like there’s other people (guys) in the house.
Image source: ceruIean, merve kıratlı
#30
Get a spare key cut. Give it to a trusted friend, keep a set in your office, and/or stash it in a very, very safe place. There is nothing worse than coming home late and realizing you have no way to get in your house. (Yes, I do speak from too much experience.)
Image source: flora_poste, Alena Darmel
#31
IDK if this will help your not, but my answer is “nothing special”. I’ve lived alone alone almost 40 years. No one has ever broken into my house, threatened me, etc.
Unless you live in an unsafe area, IMO, the odds are in your favor. Out of all the houses someone might pick to commit a crime, it’s unlikely to be yours. Not impossible, of course, but life is risk.
I keep my doors locked, whether I’m home or not. I park my car in the garage so it’s not obvious whether I’m home or not. That’s it.
Image source: mosselyn, Polina Zimmerman
#32
Install a MyQ on your garage door. It synchs with your opener and can alert you (via phone app) if left open. Plus you can use the app to open/close the door if you forget while not at home.
Image source: yermom79, cottonbro studio
#33
Read ‘The gift of fear’ by Gavin De Becker. This was game changing. Not just if you live alone, but all women should read this..
Image source: juliekn89, Masoud Mostafaei
#34
Concealed carry – its controversial but gives me peace of mind. Also I have made good friends with my neighbor. I let her know if I want to have someone new over and she knows that if things get unsafe with a date I bring home I can text her and she will call me with “an emergency for her kids” so I can” take them to the hospital ” and leave, or if she hears me screaming from across the street will actually call the police. Also getting to know people before they come into your home. Neutral public meet ups for friends and dates alike.
Image source: Zendacar
#35
Not just for women but change your lint traps!
Image source: livelaughlovenuggets
#36
I’ve only lived alone in an apartment but I always got an apartment on the top floor. Always locked my doors, always. Carried mase all the time. If I thought someone was ever following me I’d loose them before I went to my building and my door. I got a big scary looking dog.
Image source: GoldenFlicker
#37
I do not live alone but when I do arrive to an empty house, I check every room and window to make sure it’s secure.
Image source: Sunmoonflowerssky
#38
I live in a safe area in a complex bar requires a key to enter the building, and also live on the second floor. Aside from that, living alone also means traveling or walking alone frequently. I train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and I am currently a purple belt. While this doesn’t guarantee safety, I’m confident enough in my skill set that I would give it my best effort if anybody tried to mess with me ;-).
Image source: Laurceratops
#39
When I bought my townhouse as a single woman, I bought thick dowels and put them in the tracks of the windows and patio door so no one could force them open. They also sell alarm type things that attach to inside of the windows that will go off if the window is opened. Easy to install and while it wouldn’t alert the police, it would give me time to wake up and call if someone broke in (a few creepy dates led me to buying them). And a security camera! I bought a nest camera and installed in the area of my house where I felt it would be most likely to have an intruder come in. Highly recommend it. It’s given me peace of mind and hilarious cat videos.
Image source: Gmantheloungecat
#40
Remember that, if you’re a person who hosts events (or just people in general), there are people who will like you just for that. I learned this the hard way — I ended up discovering that people I wanted to be friends with and/or date were only showing up because my place was quiet, clean, and decorated. Men I was dating always expected me to host, which turned into expectations about me being in the kitchen, cleaning, or whatever. It can go quickly from, ‘Let’s go to your place, it’s quieter!’ to ‘Well, it’s your kitchen, I didn’t want to mess anything up’ and a pile of dishes or a refusal to help cook. That’s something you might wanna watch out for and take as a sign.
Image source: _daikon
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