You will have to be a mind reader to recognize a disingenuous friendship. The person can laugh with you, hang out, and call themselves your “bestie” while also resenting you behind your back. Oftentimes, the hostility is never obvious.
These people seem to have learned that lesson the hard way, as they share their experiences in a recent Threads post. Their stories still carry some pain and regret because, as those who’ve been through it may know, the sting of betrayal tends to linger.
If you’ve gone through similar ordeals, feel free to share them in the comments below.
#1
When she got engaged I asked her when the wedding was literally every month. She would tell me she hadn’t picked a date. Then one day (appx a week after the last time asking her ) I see a few mutual friends in Vegas for her BACHELORETTE PARTY with her. Her wedding was the following week. This was someone I considered to be one of my closest friends. She was gonna be in MY wedding. I still have no clue why she did this.
Image source: cupcakemama216, Camden & Hailey George (not the actual photo)
#2
When we both got degrees and she said “well I actually went and sat in class” My degree was online.
Image source: thevinbelieve, Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)
#3
After I got married, she (one of my bridesmaids) said she thought my husband only married me because I was light skin and she felt that was the only reason I got married before her. We are celebrating 13 years next month. She’s still single.
Image source: only1adrienne, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#4
Ugh. When I wouldn’t break Covid lockdown rules for her and she told me never to contact her again. Fine. We’ve since moved. No landline. She doesn’t know our address and her mobile is blocked. Made me realise how narcissistic she was.
Image source: karenh623817, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#5
When I asked them for support after my father passed away and they said I was “looking for a pity party”.
Image source: aubscenity, Kateryna Hliznitsova (not the actual photo)
#6
One evening at a lounge with friends, I wasn’t feeling talkative but I got out anyway.
I was reading an ebook on my phone, still taking shots with the group. There were some guys that invited themselves over, after while one says “Hey! Anti-social can I buy you a drink?” I said sure. He got up, moved next to me to claim his seat before ordering a bottle.
She yelled “The only reason why you won is because you’re light skinned!”
Naturally, I was able to see the other slights after this.
Image source: kiyvanna, Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
#7
I had a “friend” that told me that I shouldn’t leave my job at the company we worked at together to get a 20K pay increase. Girl, what!
Image source: codergrrl, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#8
When I spent 17 days in the hospital after my appendix burst and went septic. A couple of close friends who knew how serious it was never texted, called, or checked in. That told me everything I needed to know.
Image source: izmailglosson, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#9
Back in 2013, when I was pregnant with my daughter. She told me she’d help throw my baby shower. The day before, I couldn’t reach her. She had blocked me on everything and left me high and dry. I never spoke to her again, figured her jealousy of my relationship (that I am STILL in) was too much for her. Ahh, well.
Image source: rissa5712, Anna Hecker (not the actual photo)
#10
We were hanging out just chit chatting; it was like 3 couples including my husband and I. We were joking about things we’d add to our homes & I said, “ooh a bookshelf with a wheeled ladder!” Excitedly. This jerk looked at me like I was stupid & said, “calm down belle wannabe!” I knew. And what solidified it was when she minimized my job as a cake decorator cause in her words, that job wasn’t going anywhere innovative. As if cake decorators can’t be creative & make amazing cakes.
Image source: ___wanderingleo, Jean Vella (not the actual photo)
#11
When we’d go out, I’d play wingman and talk to guys and introduce them to her. Often, they’d ask for my number and I noticed her whole attitude would change afterwards. And then she was drunk one night and said I was her “duff” and laughed in my face.
I realized then I wasn’t her friend, I was her competition. That ended a 30 year friendship.
Image source: cynfullysweetxo, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#12
When everyone in the friend group knew my boyfriend was cheating with another girl out of the group and they said it was something I needed to find out on my own so no one told me.
Image source: prettybrownaries_87, engin akyurt (not the actual photo)
#13
When I was trying to get healthy and lose weight and she kept telling me that how I look so bad/ ugly after weight loss. I had to give up alcohol because of fatty liver issues and she would force me to drink and would get upset if I didnt. Eventually I had to let her go.
Image source: ny_ra09, Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
#14
When they abandoned me and another friend in a forest in the mountains for hours.
Image source: venus_is_reborn, Nikolay Hristov (not the actual photo)
#15
When she would use our disagreements as her loophole to insult me and say how she really felt about me.
Image source: lei.nolabel, Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
#16
They are quick to befriend people I’m no longer friends with.
Image source: j.o.s.e.l.y.n.r, Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
#17
I was blindsided and felt used but… In the middle of planning their wedding for free, I was like, “WTH?” On a flight home, I sat in first class, and she didn’t. The daggers she gave me were the sign. Mind you… the flight was paid for by me for a wedding planning session for them. Never felt any gratitude or appreciation from them. The streets told me she was jealous. Jealous because I blessed you? Make it make sense.
Image source: audilbrown, RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
#18
Whenever I’d bring someone over she would tell the most embarrassing stories about me to them.
Image source: code.rue, cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
#19
When they accidentally sent me a chat message meant for someone else admitting to hating me.
Image source: britt_karr, Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
#20
When no one congratulated me on buying my first home nor did they ever visit.
Image source: saylessnread, Doci (not the actual photo)
#21
when i got invited to a girls trip to be excluded. got my own hotel and everything.
Image source: slaykidfelix, RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
#22
My dad passed away and she sent a text. That was 5.5 months ago and we haven’t spoken. We were friends for over 20 years.
Image source: mrshollie2015, Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
#23
When she conveniently started missing important milestones in my life, hours late to my baby shower, missed my engagement, no call no show at birthday dinners, no acknowledgment when business would succeed. Real weird behavior.
Image source: porshaberto, Vika Glitter (not the actual photo)
#24
When she gained weight, and had trouble shopping for clothes. She told me that her first thought was, “So, this is how it feels to be Molly.” (I’m Molly.)
Image source: tallgreeneyedredhead, Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
#25
When my husband and I first got together, we moved into my dream condo. She told me it was little & she’s seen better. It was a three bedroom, three bath, floor to ceiling windows & a 30 foot long wraparound balcony overlooking downtown Las Olas ……
Image source: chelseaalanaa, Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)
#26
After I made several attempts to hangout and they cited me being recently married as the reason we don’t spend time together rather than the fact that they simply did not follow through with the plans I attempted to make. But then proceeded to ask for favors including having me and my wife watch their child for a week.
Image source: attorneycarson, Mary Taylor (not the actual photo)
#27
I started losing weight and my “friend” told me I couldn’t lose more weight than her so she went and had surgery. After her surgery she said “Ok big girl. When you gone lose some more weight?” Mind you, she’s always been bigger than me.
Image source: nursenaewms, Miriam Alonso (not the actual photo)
#28
She found out who my crush was (she had never met him) and immediately started messaging him. Its been 20 years. I’m still besties with him. She’s apparently still trying to sleep with him.
Image source: jessica_bsmurf, Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)
#29
Whenever I tried to vent she looked uninterested and only responded with her own personal vent session and never acknowledged what I said.
Image source: sirdeetheboss, SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
#30
My bestie turned into an enemy after 16 years. We were like sisters and even worked together, but I kept catching her talking so much trash about me especially when she didn’t get her way. It was always a guilt trip from hell and it was a lot of emotional manipulation because I was a doormat. It took me a long time to actually stand up to her, but I did. Apparently my boundaries made me “fake” because she got too used to me being a pushover. I cut her off 4 years ago and never spoke to her again.
Image source: lady_smith666, Margo Evardson (not the actual photo)
#31
When they would never celebrate the highs but were always there for the lows to feed off of my suffering.
Image source: vegan_vamp
#32
I told a girl her bf cheated on her and showed proof. She hated me since that day n blamed me. Im like i didnt think youd care you spent the past two months flirting with a new guy… but w.e. She just wanted someone to blame.
Image source: brat.cissy
#33
When I told her I didn’t want to be her friend anymore. She started bringing up stuff that I had done in my life without her and just ranting about stupid stuff. Then she insisted that we would always be friends. Needless to say I have a restraining order on this crazy chick and I carry my pistol for just in case.
Image source: mrswacoworldwide
#34
Lost family members, was exhausted from grief and didn’t have capacity to meet her for lunch. When I told her I didn’t feel safe based on how she was responding she made it about her. Total lack of empathy.
Image source: tiffanylaurenjones
#35
I had her as maid of honor&she tried to ruin my wedding. I dropped her from wedding party because her baby daddy was making it to where she couldn’t participate&he even sent her dress back.She reordered the dress&was having it delivered to my house but when I dropped her from the party, she demanded I pay her for the dress she bought&that I can keep the dress when it arrives to my house but I called the store & was informed she received a full refund 3 days prior while still demanding $140.
Image source: jazzyd_1998
#36
I invited her to my bachelorette party (nothing big, just family at home doing games) she didn’t come, invited her, her mom and her brother to my wedding and she uninvited her family and went in jeans. When I invited her to my new home she criticized everything I did. At my babyshower she didn’t wanted to interact and wanted that I just sat down with her the whole evening. That’s when I decided to stop the “friendship”.
Image source: nyanyelita
#37
When they told me I didn’t need to go back to school to get to where I wanted to be in life.
When they said my freckles were actually scars from shingles and not freckles.
They got mad at me for not drinking mimosas early in my pregnancy.
Image source: queenkayis
#38
When I always made sure she was okay when she got too drunk but, she never did the same for me.
Image source: itsjeish_96
#39
When she asked me who I had a crush on, I told her and she then proceeded to say “how do you spell his last name?” And then typed him into Facebook, added him, slept with him and spent the whole relationship with him wearing my clothes and mimicking my personality:).
Image source: ray.dhd
#40
When I told her I was worried about her mental health, she agreed and then the next day texted me and told me I attacked her.
Image source: jenpiercephotography
#41
Putting their significant other before our friendship and then getting jealous of my lifestyle people are weird.
Image source: hazeleyes2499
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