We’ve seen plenty of stories about those who have cheated and those who have been cheated on. Plenty of times. And we’ve also seen just how overwhelmingly common that kind of betrayal can be.
But it’s not every day that we get to see things from a new perspective. In today’s story, we’ll be looking at things through a different lens altogether: the other woman (or man). This all started after someone on r/AskReddit decided to ask why people would willingly be with someone who was already taken, or even married.
The responses were wildly different. Some people were under the impression that the other person was getting a divorce. Others thought they were in an open marriage. But ultimately, someone always ended up getting hurt, and these are their testimonies.
#1
I had recovered from a life-changing, devastating, roller-coaster ride with a proper bunny boiler.
Moved to another city, met this girl at work with one of those *bang!* instant connections.
She wasn’t single. We met for lunch a few times, and danced around the subject, but the chemical attraction was powerful and undeniable. She helped me search for a place to live, and that was the first time we kissed.
That broke the dam, and it was a whirlwind of passion and clandestine meetings. It didn’t last long but it was wild.
Image source: RPG_Rob, Drazen Zigic
#2
I was 22, she was 44 and married in Cancun with her friends. They were there for a reason….
Image source: EvergreenWolverine, diana.grytsku
#3
She told me that she was going to divorce her husband “any day now,” and that she had been with other men before and he didn’t care.
Until he found some texts from me and suddenly she said “we have to lay low for a while.” Dropped her immediately after that.
Image source: RuckusMonster, garetsvisual
Most of the replies on this list actually stem from a fairly common promise, something relationship researchers call a “future-faking” tactic. According to studies, this is a common pattern in which the cheater will promise an imminent separation or divorce, leading their unaware affair partner to believe that the relationship is already coming to an end.
However, clinical data shows that fewer than 5% to 10% of people who have affairs actually leave their spouses for their affair partners. This can leave the third party holding on to the hope that the other relationship will eventually end.
#4
Sorta, kinda. They were seperated and in the middle of divorce proceedings, and I straight up asked her the first time we met if she considered her prior relationship completely irreconcileable, to which she said yes without hesitation. Otherwise, I would have walked. He had cheated on her several times over the better part of the prior decade and she couldn’t do it anymore.
He of course went borderline psycho when he found out, even though we found out later that he was already seeing someone new yet again, even before she had told him she wanted a divorce.
Image source: Mundane-Garbage1003, drobotdean / Magnific
#5
We were coworkers and he came over and started talking to me. Would ask to drive me home. It was only a 9 min drive, an hour by bus so made my life a lot easier. Sometimes he would stare into the void and clench my hand , holding back tears as he spoke very softly. As he opened up, I asked him why he wouldn’t just talk to his partner. He said she always went off & resorted to insults, which made him shut down. Told me no one at home listened and just spoke over him. It was just chores and orders. He wanted to see my apartment at one point. Would just stare out my window and told me he longed for the peace I had. For the lifestyle I lived – simple, quiet, happy. Sometimes we hooked up, other times he just talked and talked. I would go to answer and he would start talking again. He apologized and said he just had so much to say, now that someone was finally listening. Or he would just give me a hug and not let go for a bit. Well, he did leave her after months and we’ve been married for some years now. Recently, he told me he’s the happiest he’s ever been.
Image source: Loopofdroopypoop, standret
#6
They told me they were engaged and I gave up pursuing. We were on a cruise and she kept coming to me to hangout. She knew she was incredibly attractive and I was NOT quiet about it. We bet on mini golf that if she won she got a massage and if I won, I would get what I wanted. I won.
Image source: GuideToTheGalaxy05, CandyRetriever
Another fairly common explanation (or excuse, depending on your point of view) is, again, the promise of an open marriage. Around 4% to 7% of adults in the U.S. are in an open relationship, or what experts often call a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship. This can include polyamory and even swinging.
But the problem here isn’t just how common open relationships are; it’s the assumption. The Institute for Family Studies (IFS) actually conducted a survey that found people in open relationships might exaggerate their spouse’s consent, leading the affair partner to assume that the relationship is fully consensual for everyone involved.
#7
It was one of my wife’s employees. She had been flirting for years. My wife had confessed an affair the year before and I had taken her back. First time I was alone it was like we were both just waiting for the chance. We discussed it and never looked back. No regrets.
Image source: EfficiencyFine4835, magnific
#8
He was a D-tier celebrity and constantly cheated on his partner with groupies, so I didn’t feel bad about it. I didn’t pursue her much further so she came clean with him, he called me wanting to know specific details of the intimate time we had (weird?). They got back together, he ended up writing a song and music video about the whole thing, got published and has millions of views. From the music video it appears the relationship didn’t last.
Image source: Acceptable-Part-7807, magnific
#9
She put together an elaborate ruse to make it happen.
This happened in college. Very regrettably, she was my good friend’s girlfriend. They were on the outs because it was the world’s worst kept secret that despite being with her, he was really head over heels for a girl he’d been in love with since high school.
I got a text from her one night (a bit unusual, but not enough to raise any red flags) saying “they” were out at the bar and wanted me to come join them. I wasn’t doing anything, so why the hell not? I got dressed, headed to the bar, and pretty quickly found them. Only, much to my surprise, my friend wasn’t with them. “Where’s Chris?” I ask. She informs me that he wasn’t able to make it – it was just her and some girl friends. (*Spidey Sense tingling*) Well that’s ok, I figure. I’m already here, so I’ll have a few drinks with them and head home.
Quite coincidentally, her friends have something come up and need to take off. Meeting someone else or some such excuse. She “feels bad” that she invited me out only to ditch me, so she tells them to go ahead – she’ll hang with me for a bit then meet up with them. (*Tingling intensifies*)
So we have some drinks and chat. We’re friends, and that’s a thing friends do. After an hour or two, I’m ready to hang it up. We’ve both had several, and it’s getting late. Alas, she “can’t get a hold” of her friends. Adding to her misfortune, they were her ride downtown! This is before Uber/Lyft, and the taxi situation s***s, so she asks if I’d give her a ride home. (*Spidey Senses on fire*) It’s not terribly far out of my way, and I can’t leave my friend’s girlfriend alone at a bar downtown at midnight, so despite my mild impairment, I oblige. (I know – I was young and dumb. I’m sorry.)
We pull up out front and I give the “WELP, there you go! You’re welcome!” And she, I s**t you not, responds with “I’m not sure you should be driving any more with how much you’ve had to drink. Just come in for a few. We’ll watch a show, then you can head out. (*Spidey punching me in the face*)
I object for a bit but finally relent. We go inside and there’s (shockingly) nobody home. She does turn on the TV, then heads into her room “to change”. I sit on the couch, knowing full well what I’m doing while trying to convince myself I’m not. After a few minutes she yells “What are you doing?!” to which I respond “Sitting on the couch – I thought we were watching something!” That was clearly not the right answer because she yells “Get in here! It’s not like I’m gonna m****t you!” (*Spidey, help!*)
I walk in to find that she only got halfway through the “changing” process and had to lay down. I sit. She puts her hand on me. It’s game over. (*Sorry, Spidey*).
Image source: Pork_Chompk, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#10
I had a crush on her for a while but did not pursue her because she was in a relationship, I was happy to just be friends with her because she was an awesome person. We were drinking together in a group and everyone else left for the night so it was just me and her, and I had no way to get home without driving drunk so I stayed the night. While I was trying to fall asleep for the night, she went into the room I was in and jumped on top of me with no pants on and started kissing and grinding on me. I was not strong enough to say no in that moment and one thing led to another. We were both very drunk and the memory is hazy. It ruined our friendship immediately and last I heard she was still with the guy she cheated on. It is not a fond memory and it taught me to not put myself in situations l that could lead to cheating even if I have no bad intentions.
Image source: hailsatansmokemeth, prostooleh
While many of the responses fully knew their new date had a partner, that isn’t always the case. In fact, it’s fairly common for the other person to be completely unaware; after all, modern relationships will often now begin through dating apps, where people can remain as anonymous as they want while seeking the attention they want.
In fact, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that over 30% of men and 18% of women may hide their real relationship status, avoiding admitting that they’re married or in committed relationships in order to cheat. This can leave the affair partner completely unaware, at least initially.
#11
I was in a situation where I was convinced she was in a really bad relationship and he was keeping her financially captive. It was a few months in that I realised he was a really decent person and she was just playing us both. I learned that some women like being externally validated more than being loyal. I think her knowing I was attracted to her was enough motivation to come up with some story to keep me interested in persuing her rather then just tell me she’s in a relationship and not interested. If I was in a situation like this again I would just walked away before it started.
Image source: Joemongous, Ambreen
#12
So I met this chick at a bar and we hit it off fast. We started talking, went on a few dates, and it was honestly a lot of fun.
There were some weird things, though. I was never really at her place—we’d always end up at mine, in the car, or somewhere else. A few red flags were there, but I ignored them because the chemistry and s*x were really good.
Then she asked to switch to Snapchat, saying her kid used her phone. I agreed, not thinking much of it. What she didn’t realize was I could see her location.
One day I decided to surprise her. I showed up at her place with flowers, knocked, and a guy answered. I looked past him and saw her. She looked at me and mouthed, “ leave.”
I assumed she was cheating, so I just walked away.
That’s when it hit me.
The next day she called and explained. She was married—the guy was her husband. She said they stayed together for their kid, didn’t have s*x anymore, and had issues. I should’ve blocked her then, but she said she still wanted to see me, and I agreed.
So we kept seeing each other in secret. It was exciting at first, but eventually I pushed for the truth. She admitted she was fully married and still loved her husband. When I made her choose, she chose him.
That’s when I realized I was just the escape for her—the fun part, not the real life.
I knew there were red flags from the start, I just ignored them because I was having too much fun.
And in the end, it wasn’t worth it.
Image source: Hopeful-Lawyer8820, ArthurHidden
#13
He said he and his wife were open. I hooked up with him; I left the tiniest mark on his neck from nipping him a little. It was very tiny, I didn’t hicky him or anything crazy…honestly probably wouldn’t have even noticed it if he hadn’t. It just looked like a tiny discoloration. He freaked OUT about it, saying his wife would be in town soon…I was like “I thought you said this was an open relationship?” “It’s open because she doesn’t know!” I left almost immediately after that.
Then she came to visit shortly after, we hung out together in our larger mutual friends group…I was going to tell her, but she launched into a story about her multiple miscarriages with him. I felt like it would be terrible for her to find out her husband was cheating far from home in the middle of a friend group she didn’t know, that I would later find out almost the entirety of knew about and covered for his cheating. Pretty quickly distanced myself from everyone after that.
Image source: EuphorbiasOddities, katemangostar
Plenty of the affair partners on the list, however, were fully infatuated with the other person, to the point where they were actively seeking validation or even viewing the secrecy as a sign of intense passion. This is more of an emotional response, which studies by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) note is fairly common.
Almost half of the people who took part in the research reported having emotional affairs, in which the other person was actively filling an emotional void rather than a physical one. This can happen for many reasons, but the study also points out that the promise of a low-commitment burden for both the cheater and the affair partner can be a factor, as neither is necessarily looking to take the relationship any further.
#14
She’d left me for him a couple of years previous and he and I didn’t like each other.
Their marriage was on the rocks and she found out he’d cheated on her so I volunteered as tribute.
Image source: negativeyoda, yanalya
#15
“It’s not going well and I miss you.” I was young and drunk. They’re still together and I regret it.
Image source: Legitimate_Mess_8566, lookstudio
#16
I was young, she was older and I had never had attention from a woman before. I was desperate for validation and affection. Validation and affection I literally had never come close to experiencing before, being an overweight socially awakward autistic guy. I honestly thought I was being scammed for a while.
She was in a d**d bedroom marriage with a husband that did not find her attractive. She was gorgeous and I still don’t know to this day what she saw in me.
Image source: ZeroNineSix, bokodi
And actually, the statistics on cheating partners are pretty shocking. The University of Chicago has been conducting long-term research showing that around 20% of men and 13% of married women will engage in a physical relationship with someone else at some point in their lives.
That figure becomes even higher for men as they grow older. This can happen for many reasons, but surprisingly, financial dependency is one of them. Ego threats can often be at the root of cheating, as husbands who are financially dependent on their wives are reportedly five times more likely to have an affair.
#17
This dude who was temporarily working with me basically said his marriage was on the rocks with his wife and that they were basically roommates at that point, he kept pursuing me and I was feeling super lonely and unwanted so ended up sleeping with him for about a week. But then I got the ick and stopped things, he really did treat me well though. I got really sick once (stomach virus) and he wanted to come over and I was like uh yeah i’m not well enough to hook up or anything plus I don’t want to get you sick, and he was like no i just want to take care of you. He brought me a bunch of gatorade and coconut water etc and we just cuddled and it was actually one of the nicest things someone has done for me while I was sick, but yeah, sucked that he was actually married. He was very upfront about his marriage though (as in, he didn’t try to hide it), but it did make me wonder if he had told this story and done this with other women, even though he said he hadn’t.
Image source: videogamekat, jcomp
#18
He told me his marriage with his wife was arranged and they left their home country because his family found out he was gay.
He said his wife supported him and thats why she moved with him and their son.
He said she knew and supported him seeing men outside their marriage.
He lied obviously lol.
Silly me was just 20 years old and he was 34 and I just felt so bad for everything he went through that I thought I’d help him be more comfortable in his orientation. Felt like I was “saving” someone.
Image source: throwawayaccount_usu, mego-studio
#19
I hooked up with a Chinese girl visiting the U.S. on the last day of her vacation. She told me she was in arranged marriage and she didn’t love her husband. She said her husband didn’t treat her well and basically treated her like a prize or trophy. It was interesting because gave her her first o****m that came from somebody else. She was hesitant to be eaten out because s*x was for “your pleasure”, but once I started she couldn’t get enough. After I came I wanted to go again right away and she couldn’t fathom that concept either since I “already finished”. Needless to say she learned a lot about her se***lity that night and how repressed she was being. I don’t have a single regret. Her only regret was that we didn’t meet sooner.
Image source: VX_NinetyNine, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
Affairs can happen for a number of reasons, and these threads offer a more human, perspective-driven look at how they can happen. But academic studies can add some much-needed context. Many of the replies suggest that the reason people gave in to a relationship with someone already in a committed partnership was none other than loneliness.
Per studies, both the cheater and the affair partner will often cite emotional withdrawal as one of the main reasons for entering an affair, along with the need for some kind of physical or emotional connection with someone else. They may turn to outside sources to find a sense of belonging and validation — instead of seeking self-validation and/or ending the relationships.
#20
First time we kissed at a bar I didn’t know he was in a relationship. Swore it would never happen again but we became friends and down the line I couldn’t ignore the fact that I had feelings for him. We’ve hooked now and then for the last couple years and him and his gf are still together. I was in love with him and some part of me probably always will be but he didn’t choose me and ultimately wants his cake and to eat it too. I know I should completely cut him off and I have tried many times but somehow he always comes back into my life. Think I’m ultimately stuck because I don’t think I will ever get any romantic connection better than him.
Fully accept it’s trash behaviour on my part and not proud of it but it is what it has been.
Image source: tresmetros, Ambreen
#21
She told me she loved me, and wanted nothing more than for me to f**k her. So eventually I did, as often as humanly possible and in every nook and cranny of this city, a national park, tents across a few states, and it was probably the best s*x i’ll ever have. She worshipped my d**k, literally, and we were both young. Extremely volatile though, and it put a fat blemish on my reputation when it finally collapsed. The part I don’t really tell anyone, is it was abso-f*****g-lutely worth it. Ill never do it again, but i would do it over every time.
Image source: nutsbonkers, magnific
#22
I was told he was very a*****e to her and she just wanted to be with me and be away from him
She told another guy the same thing about me a year and a half later lmao.
Image source: 6footintimbs, prostooleh
And then, of course, we have mistreatment. Unfortunately, infidelity has also been studied as being deeply entangled with relationships rooted in violence. Many of the testimonies suggest that they gave in to being with someone who was married because they knew the relationship they were in was toxic.
On one hand, the affair partner wants to have that emotional and physical connection, while the person committing the infidelity may instead be looking for a non-threatening environment. In the end, it depends on each person’s personal moral code. But then again, in these situations, very few people end up feeling happy afterward.
#23
She inferred that she was in an open relationship. It turns out that wasn’t *untrue* but also wasn’t entirely *true*. But she was outrageously good looking and we were at a festival and I wasn’t there to interrogate relationship dynamics. Her bf and I ended up becoming good friends.
Image source: Sean82, cookie_studio
#24
She obviously wanted me, and I wanted her. Plus, I was lonely and in need of someone who cared about me.
I told myself I wouldn’t, but the moment she touched me I didn’t stand a chance. I couldn’t resist a chance to be cared for.
Image source: TheDayILostItAll, frimufilms
#25
Loneliness. I was at a point in my life I was just really craving any kind of physical intimacy since I just never gave my self time for dating. A girl I like was married and made a move on me. Doing better now but i still feel like a pos and wished I said no back then.
Image source: Anliem, Camandona
#26
Met my wife 26 years ago at a bar. She was out with a group of friends, as was I. She was married and had a 2 year old. It was a marriage that was made from pregnancy. All I can say is there was a spark and we truly enjoyed being around each other. Got married 3 years later and about to hit our 23 anniversary.
Image source: jason81175, katemangostar
#27
She was a hot older woman that wasn’t getting any at home and was starving for attention. She did anything I wanted, wherever we could meet, it was some of the best s*x I ever had.
Image source: Oldlazyfuck, shurkin_son
#28
I was with this gal and it was toxic as all hell. We were together, she cheated on me, we broke up. She got together with the guy with whom she cheated, and she and I continued having s*x. I legit don’t know how he could have not known, so for all I know, we were basically a non-monogamous thruple. Honestly I probably should have felt bad about it, but at the time, my thought was that he was the guy she cheated with first, and a little of it was probably revenge.
Eventually she started acting as if we actually were a couple and wanted me to casually ignore the fact that she was living with the guy (despite spending 3 or more nights per week at my place). After we were in an argument on the phone one day, I sorta looked up and was like, “what am I doing? I can do better than this.”
I met my wife like two weeks later.
It’s a d**n miracle I got out of the situation without a kid or a disease (because if she was as casual about having s*x with the two of us, who knows how many other guys were involved).
Image source: psimwork, Stockbusters
#29
I was recently divorced and she was the one from college I always liked by never got to date. We reconnected and she told me many times she was going to leave her boyfriend. I ended it when I went to a wedding with her and she still wouldn’t commit to break up with him. Good news is she did eventually and is now married with a kid. I hope she’s happy.
Image source: kabukinator, Holiak
#30
I recognized I was the just the wedge being driven between them. She wanted to cheat, she instigated it. We were both just passing through town and I had no connection to the guy getting cheated on.
Ironically her being “In a relationship” was why I was so relaxed chatting with her at the bar. She even goaded me into picking up other girls. When she wanted me to take her back to her hotel I was very surprised.
The guy video called her while we were back in the hotel and I hid in the shower while she turned her camera around the room. Poor guy had to know something was up. If I believed in Karma I suppose I’ll have it waiting for me. I do think it makes me a bad person, in the sense that the world might be a little better place if third parties had more reverence for the sanctity of other relationships but I just felt like she was gonna cheat one way or another. But maybe I’m just rationalizing my guilt away.
It was a fun night and a fun story to tell about Portland, Maine.
Image source: ManofManyHills, magnific
#31
She told me she was being cheated on but didn’t want to give up her lifestyle, I was traveling on business and not likely to ever see her again. The way I figure it, it ain’t my circus and those aren’t my monkeys. I was also pretty drunk at the time.
Image source: DevilGuy
#32
She said they were at the end of their relationship and planning to break up but they co-signed a place and he lost his job so they were together cuz of that.
He kinda helped her case cuz he was gone for almost 2 months traveling and visiting family after losing his job. Really made her lie believable.
Image source: t_msok
#33
When I was young and actually did this, there were a handful of reasons I had.
1: A lot of the time, I didn’t even know, she lied/omitted the truth about her status.
2: I was a h***y lonely young dude and she was willing/initiating
3: If she’s gonna cheat anyway, what difference does it make? She’s clearly looking to cheat and stray, I didn’t trick her into this. So if she’s already gonna cheat it may as well be with me. Not sleeping with her won’t suddenly make her not a bad person who was willing to cheat on their partner.
Those were the main reasons I had at the time.
And to be clear, I’ve never cheated on a partner, ever. I do in fact find it abhorrent and always have.
But in my eyes when I was younger, if I was getting propositioned, she already “did the cheating” in my eyes anyway, so it wasn’t like me participating in the act actually made things any worse.
Image source: Edraitheru14
#34
Not me, but a girl in my friend group. She’s been in a loooong term situationship with a married 40+ year old – i think for 2 years now. His wife doesnt know (obvs) but our friendship group knows all about him and treat him like some long distance guy who our friend sees but who we never meet. Some of our friends do judge her for it, but she is just living her life, getting taken on nice dates every now and again, and not taking anything too seriously. She’s not exclusive with him AT ALL and doesnt expect him to leave his wife or marry her ever, in fact she would probably get the ick immediately if he tried. Its just a thing that works for both of them i guess, and she seems happy. Shrug.
Image source: solidgold17
#35
She was engaged and said she had a “pass” until they got married. I went along with it but I don’t think I ever really believed her.
Image source: Well_Spoken_Mute
#36
The first time, I was very young. Like not even out of highschool. And she was married and had kids. I was friends with her son. She was hot and older and really into it. Her husband was way older than her (he was also my barber). I just really wanted to. Over and over. For years.
The second time, it was with someone my own age. I’d known her since kindergarten. We had grown up together and were friendly but never really close – we hung out in different crowds and she was unattainable for most guys in our cohort. But I’d always dreamed she’d want to be with me some day. Then that day came. I knew she was married but she was clearly unhappy and needed someone to listen and empathize. And also f**k the living daylights out of her apparently. So I figured that should be me. Lasted about a year. She had a kid suspiciously close to 9 months after we were last together but she swears it wasn’t mine. Jury is still out. Never see her anymore.
Image source: david_duplex
#37
She told me she was separated and the divorce was set to be finalized soon. That ended up not being entirely true. I still feel bad for the husband.
Image source: karateisntreal
#38
I was so attracted to her my empathy was totally eroded… I’ve still have never been so physically attracted to someone as I was to her. I was totally a fool for her.
Image source: Mythos7788
#39
I was on the other side of this but can offer some insight. I told her I had a gf and she just shrugged and said “that’s your problem not mine.”.
Image source: EnzinoGorlomi
#40
I was under the impression that they were both into it. turns out, only she was.
Image source: nobodyknoes
#41
Worst part was I knew and admired her partner. We just had insane chemistry and even if we brushed against each-other in a crowd would be fixed on the other for a long time.
We ended up dancing together at a music festival while both being separated from our respective groups and then a neck was kissed and a hand slid down. They broke up the next day and we ended up dating, moving to separate continents, reuniting, moving away, and just living.
Image source: EggCollectorNum1
#42
I didn’t know they were in a relationship. It was quite the surprise to be making out with her on the porch, when the door opens and you hear “What are you doing with my wife?” Never bailed so quick in my life.
Image source: PlayAroundAndFindOut
#43
The crushing desire to not be lonely anymore and the joy of knowing someone actually wanted me.
Image source: slaughterbug64
#44
I figured if she was traveling to Hawaii without her husband and throwing herself at sailors I may as well be the one to catch her.
I figured that with…maybe six or seven married tourists over two years.
Image source: Ask_bout_PaterNoster
#45
His wife didn’t understand him and I was his soul mate.
In reality, i was 25 and a total idiot and thought he was telling the truth, he was 45 and too much of a coward to leave his marriage. It turns out this is a very common story with married men. (Can’t speak to married women).
Image source: larapu2000
#46
Three reasons come to mind
The extra endorphin rush from the risk/danger aspect of it
The taboo. You spend all your life following the rules. Sometimes you just want to do something *wrong*, you know?
(The main reason) she was hot and i wanted her.
Image source: QABATHO
#47
I was young and h***y. And in my mind, they were the ones violating their partner’s trust, not me. Moreover I thought they were going to find SOMEONE to make it happen, so might as well have it be me and get my rocks off.
Again, young and h***y.
Years have passed and I’ve since matured and wised up.
Image source: theonlybuster
#48
Some of them, quite obviously, were not actually monogamous.
One of them, I had misunderstood her situation. I realized that yes, shevwas divorced from the father of her teenagers for quite a while. We had that in common. I didn’t realize that she was currently married to the father of her toddlers. (Twins)
It dawned on me (slowly) when she looked right and left at her wrists and said, “You gotta let me keep these; I want to try them with my husband.”
Thus began my journey as the world’s most inappropriate marital counselor. .
Image source: That70sShop
#49
Honestly, I was selfish.
And then, five years later I got married (to someone else) and we have been happily monogamous ever since.
People change.
Image source: electric29
#50
Because I wanted to have s*x with them, and someone else’s personal life is none of my business. I trust that they know what they are doing, since they are adults.
Image source: klendool
#51
The boyfriend was emotionally a*****e but she had no place to go to try and get away from him. We were together for ~10 years before health issues for both of us caused a split. No infidelity while we were together.
Image source: axle69
#52
Husband ignored her for years. I fulfilled her needs, husband found out, their relationship has never been better. I miss her t**s though.
Image source: snipercandyman
#53
Because I had the chance to sleep with someone hot who wanted s*x. I’m not responsible for someone else’s relationship, I’m responsible for my choices.
I don’t really understand placing responsibility for braking the rules of a social contract with someone who never agreed to it or was part of it. Why on earth would you get angry at the person who sleeps with your partner if it’s your partner you had an agreement with?
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#54
I was a selfish piece of s**t, she was beautiful and she convinced me I was an opportunity to escape her a*****e bf. Surprise surprise she stayed with him and I ultimately failed to uphold my morals.
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#55
1. I didn’t know they were really that serious and she always complained about him
And 2. Justified it cuz the bf was a trump supporter lmao.
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#56
I’ve been on both sides and I can say strongly, deeply in my heart that doing that to someone and then also finding out it was done to you multiple times (with a very close friend as well) is the worst heartache and shame you can live with. I’ve worked through why I did it, or why I did shady things, and lied because it was the easier way out. But, boy does it hurt. It hurts to carry the guilt of knowing you’re with someone who is in a relationship/marriage and their SO is bound to be broken by your own carelessness, and it hurts to know you destroyed somebody’s heart as well because of love or lust. The mistrust lingers forever.
Just. Tell. The. Truth. About. Your. Feelings. People!
Years later, and many lessons learned..I am HAPPY to share the truth in how I am feeling, things I want, and when it’s time to leave! I pat myself on the back for the hard and honest talks. There’s this level of anxiety I carry if someone even THINKS I’m lying. Or sometimes I have dreams where I am unfaithful again and it wrecks me for a second when I wake up.
I feel that I’m living proof that saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is not true. For ALOT of people, unfortunately it is. But not me!
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#57
She would text me “now?” If I said yes she would come over if I said no she would text “when?” It was a good deal for me. She would be gone before I could catch my breath.
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#58
I made triple sure his partner was ok and it was an open relationship thing, and that I was not the first to be an open relationship ‘activity partner’. And everything was good and fun and no weird guilt signals on their part- but I decided not to make a habit of being a third player in open relationships just because maybe they are OK with it at the time but if it’s like a micro fracture in their relationship I don’t want to be part of the reason, even if it would have been someone else on that occasion instead of me.
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#59
In my early 20s I used to do this a lot. I preferred it. I am avoidant and it was an easy way to make sure the relationship didn’t have to get emotional and I could just enjoy the physical part. (F).
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#60
She was my ex and had cheated on me a year prior with the same guy. I thought it would make me feel better. It did not. I felt guilt and shame and like all id really done was make myself lesser for stooping to that level.
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#61
She said she was going to break up with him, but wanted to get revenge before she did.
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#62
I was told she was going to break up with her boyfriend then she didn’t and it ruined my friendship with the guy. But he was also the kind of guy to put me down if we were around other people but totally fine if we were alone. Not a huge loss honestly.
. I also hooked up with a married woman in a open relationship she said since she was long distance her hubby was fine with it.
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#63
I always tell my brother to not mess with married or even separated women! A married man did ask me out, and even delivered the same tired story of we are in the middle of a divorce and that his wife was cheating and was a horrible person and blah blah blah! I didn’t buy it. I regret the several hours I spent with him.
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#64
She walked in a place I was the door man.
Acted dumb and h***y.
Parking lot.
Just life.
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#65
She had a rough life story. I both took pity on her and was horribly lonely myself, also young and hotblooded still. I would also fall back on the fact that there was a 7-year age gap between us and “she would know better”, but she had fallen for me completely, to the point where she betrayed her husband. It was a painful couple years after. Still get a pit in my stomach when talking about it to my current partner.
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#66
I was a little drunk, she was very attractive, and I was 23. She was my buddy’s girlfriend, he still hates me 11 years later. It made me a better person and gave me much more empathy— still the only thing in life that I regret.
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#67
A look, big D and hairy chest 😅 his wife watched so I guess it was cool.
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#68
They’re marriage was already starting to fall apart and they were getting a separation and did eventually divorce. According to her he was verbally a*****e, a heavy drinker, and was just simply neglecting their marriage. At the time I was old enough to know better but dumb enough not to. Several months after we stopped seeing each other she called me out of the blue saying she was pregnant. Let it slip that she was seeing someone else at the same time she was seeing me while going through her separation. I simply said paternity test. If it’s minds, I’ll do my part. If not, don’t ever call me again. No test done. Never heard from her again. Found out later through a former coworker of ours that she did get divorced. Got remarried and had a 2nd child. Almost feel happy for her.
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#69
I was 19 and she was 20. I met a girl and we became pretty much instantly close. She told me she had a boyfriend early on, so I interpreted all signs as she just being overly friendly in general.
We spent an afternoon together in the city I lived in and I accompanied her to the train station. We stayed talking and she lost the train. Then she proposed we go to her father’s house, as he wouldn’t be there (hee parents were divorced and his dad lived in the city we were in, even though she lived with her mom). I accepted and then she took my hand and. We walked there as a couple to everyone that saw us.
After some drinks at her dad’s place, she was leaning into me. I’d tried to maintain distance until then because she had a boyfriend, but I caved and kissed her. She asked why did I do it, I told her I thought that she wanted and I liked her very much. We f****d on her dad’s bed.
We kept hooking up for some months until I blew it up with a comment about my views on cheating. She didn’t like that so we parted.
That was 11 years ago. I’m married now and she’s getting married soon. It seems we’ee both happy and she’s not with that guy anymore, so I’m glad everything turned okay and that she’s content with her fiancee.
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#70
My coworker man, she was gorgeous, and had a way about her that just made me melt. I don’t know what she saw in me, I told her more times that I can remember that she shouldn’t be doing this while married to another man. Told her to just divorce him, and she can be with anyone she wants. She said it wasn’t easy like that with her culture, she liked her lifestyle but didn’t get what she needed at home with her husband. She wanted what she wanted, just wanted to be held and make out lol. I was the lucky guy to be her target. She was 5’2, slim and crazy body. She wore that scarf thing that the Muslims wear. She was wild yall. Makeout sessions that would steam the car windows lol. Best h**d I ever had in my life. We did everything in the book, but wouldn’t let me hit it from the front. She didn’t mind my tongue in there but wouldn’t like my di*k get close lol. Anyway, would marry her if she’d let me. But apparently I gotta be Muslim and she already married and that’s just too much for me.
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#71
I had a friend several years ago that would specifically target married women and often had multiple on shuffle.
He kept it up until one of the husbands came home early, caught him giving his wife the business, then pulled his gun and shot the pillow beside them a few times.
He finally decided it was a bad idea.
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#72
I have been the other guy a few times. First time it was because I was crazy about this girl since middle school. I mean infatuated. Well one day we were just chatting and she complained about how her current bf isnt really giving her what she was looking for s******y. I jokingly offered to help and to my surprise she took me up on that offer. I was blown away and didnt care and we move forward with the plan. Fyi we were in hs so also young a dumb. I took her virginity and what is worse we convinced her bf to drive us to my house under the geise of a “school project” I used to be a piece of s**t. Eventually I grew up and stopped being an a*****e. Thank god.
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#73
Well.
I hooked up with a dude in college who had a girl back home. I had a massive crush on him, then heard through the grapevine he was in an open relationship. I asked him, he confirmed, so we started hooking up.
He lied. We went our separate ways after that semester, and he confessed he was actually cheating on his (now ex) when he was hooking up with me. It broke them up. He was my best friend for a good 7-8 months, and shortly after telling me the truth (that he accidentally shared, ~3 years after college) he blocked me.
I still feel horrible about it. I have so many fantastic memories with this person and they were lying to me the whole time. Hurts. So I guess I did hookup w a dude in a monogamous relationship, but I didn’t know it :/.
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#74
So the guy and I were pretty good friends. I thought he was cute but he had a girlfriend and was rather young for my taste. Well there was one outing where she was a complete b***h to me. I never hung all over him or anything. Long story short one night he asked me to give him a ride home. I totally did but we went to my house instead. I didnt feel an ounce bad about it either. They stayed together a few years after that and every time her snarky a*s would come around to dissing me about something I just smiled inside.
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#75
Youth and stupidity… .
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#76
I was 20-21, so there’s that, but I was so enamored by her and attracted to her that nothing else mattered.
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#77
He didn’t tell me about his wife until after later. And the more we went on the scarier it got. He told me how many times he cheated on her and how he’ll always be a cheater. He also said he was planning on a divorce. It was messy complicated and I’m glad it’s over.
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#78
Before having s*x for the first time she told me she was dating someone but “it wasn’t serious.” Fortunately she wasn’t lying and broke it off with him the next day. We dated for just under a year.
Another woman I was with was definitely cheating on her husband/fiance/live in partner/whatever but I didn’t find out until after. Looking back after she dumped me out of the blue I realized there were signs that I ignored. She was older than me, gorgeous, and no gag reflex so I probably would have ignored the second coming of Jesus back then.
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#79
She was hot, we were drunk, and we had great chemistry. I was also young, dumb, and lonely in a foreign country.
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#80
I really liked her, I didn’t like him. She said she wanted to break up with him but it was difficult cause he was living in her parents house at the time.
Jokes on me though. She was a monkey brancher and did the same thing to me 5 years later.
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#81
Genuinely: just wasn’t my problem.
I did it more than once in college with girls whose boyfriends lived far away. It’s not like I knew the guys so there was nothing personal about it for me (plus it’s not like he would find out unless she told him), and I would always say: If she’s gonna cheat, she’s gonna cheat. Doesn’t matter who it’s with.
Only reason I wouldn’t do it now is to avoid drama, but I don’t really feel bad at all. The first girl I ever did anything with cheated on me multiple times, so I was on the other side first; even back then I knew it would be dumb to blame the guys.
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#82
I’m plain not a very good person I guess. I knew this person had a crush on me for a long time. However, I never liked her that way.
She was in a relationship but did not like the way this guy was treating her. She got drunk and wanted to hook up. I did not hesitate.
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