Breakups can be devastating, but eventually, most of us make it through the darkness to the other side. It’s often a process of letting go until the pain subsides, our hearts heal, and the past becomes a distant memory. But what happens when one party tries to keep the fire burning long after cold water was poured on the relationship?
That’s exactly what happened to one person who revealed that their ex had the audacity to wear the shirt she got him for Christmas to his engagement party. The post prompted more than 24,000 comments to come hurtling in, as netizens shared their own tales about ex-partners acting more than a little unhinged.
Bored Panda has put together the wildest ones. There’s the guy who got married on his ex’s birthday, the poor soul who had to make her ex’s wedding cake, and a surprising number of hangers-on who named their kids after an ex. Buckle up for a wild reminder that it ain’t over ’til it’s truly over.
#1
He named ALL his five daughters after me, using different combinations of my first and middle name 😜
Image source: Moonshine Lady, Dr. Dania/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Sometimes relationships end amicably, with both parties agreeing that it’s best to go their separate ways. But more often than not, one person wants out while the other still has feelings. In a perfect world, the rejected partner will accept their loss and try to move on. But we don’t live in a perfect world, and that’s why we see so many stories about unhinged exes doing some really weird stuff.
“Certain attachment styles can play out in the break-up of a relationship,” explains Jo Coker, a psychologist and the director of therapy and training standards at the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT). “For those whose attachment style is insecure, a breakup can be especially hard and they may find themselves struggling to cope, becoming ‘clingy,’ and not wanting to let go.”
#2
Called me in tears while he was in Italy with his wife and said “remember when we used to talk about coming here together oh my Lola how I wish it was you here with me.just know I will always love you so much.”It was 12 yrs after we dated.
Image source: 𝒜𝓁𝑒𝓍🤍, Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo)
#3
They got married with the engagement ring he bought for me and I somehow “lost” three months before we broke up. We broke up bc I lost that ring.
Image source: Niko, Gustavo Fring/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The expert adds that some people react spitefully to being dumped, in a bid to protect their own pride.
“When humans are hurt, often they will project their hurt and anger onto the perceived cause of the pain,” Coker told Cosmopolitan. “They are trying to make them feel their pain, and suffer for the hurt they have caused.”
According to Dr. Randi Gunther, a California-based clinical psychologist and marriage counselor with over 40 years of experience, there are many cases where the rejected partner simply doesn’t understand why the relationship ended the way it did.
“Confused and deeply wounded, they can only ease their distress by continuing to push for a resolution,” says Gunther. “Until those needs are met, they cannot let go.”
#4
He ordered his wedding cake from the bakery that worked at….I had to make his wedding cake. 😑
Image source: Tessa Griffith, SHVETS production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
#5
He named his new daughter the same name as our baby that we we lost.
Image source: Izzy 🥀, George Pak/Pexels (not the actual photo)
#6
I told him my business idea. He said it will never work and really discouraged me from starting it. I broke up with him because I felt like the shell of the person I once was. He started a business with my business idea and my business plan few months after. It’s very successful. He has an about the owner section on the website saying he just came up with it one day while he was “day dreaming”
Image source: Cutiewithabooty, RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Gunther says there are many reasons why some people struggle to let go of relationships. One is because they’re naturally excessively dependent by nature.
“Partners exhibiting extreme dependence on the other are often suppliant, over-agreeable, and non-challenging. Those behaviors may be initially attractive to someone who doesn’t like hassle, but overwhelming as time goes on,” explains Gunther. “The continuous need for reassurance becomes burdensome.”
Cue: bad breakup. One that the dependent party can’t understand or accept.
#7
They took engagement pics as a “happy family of 3” with my dog…
Image source: Brae, www.kaboompics.com/Pexels (not the actual photo)
#8
He married her on my birthday…
Image source: Kelena 🌸, AI25.Studio Studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
#9
He named their kid after my dad AND mom. He’s never met our son.
Image source: NotNewGirlJess, Polina Zimmerman/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Their behavior might manifest in different ways. Perhaps they keep bad-mouthing you to friends, they take digs at you on social media, they won’t stop messaging you, they still pine for you even after you’ve moved on with someone else, or, like some weirdos on this list, they name their kids after you once they’ve seemingly moved on…
When it comes to an ex trash-talking you, Coker says it’s often done to mask feelings. “People are often hurt and may still love the person they have broken up with,” Coker explains, “and they project this hurt and try to get validation of their position as the discarded partner by trying to convert others to their viewpoint [that you’re a bad person].”
#10
mine apparently read a poem to his bride at their wedding reception dinner. It was an original poem I wrote for him while dating.
Image source: Sophie, By Deniss/Pexels (not the actual photo)
#11
His dating profile picture was taken at our vow renewal ceremony
Image source: noticeyourneighbor, Mukhtar Shuaib Mukhtar/Pexels (not the actual photo)
#12
I told him for YEARS that I wanted to get a GSP and name it Sam. As soon as we broke up he got a GSP puppy. Guess what he named it…Sam.
Image source: Rachel, Helena Lopes/Pexels (not the actual photo)
In highly ‘passionate’ or volatile relationships, the drama continues long after the flame is extinguished. It becomes a case of making up and breaking up, and when the breakup is really, really final, one or both parties struggle to believe, or accept, it.
“Many people live in extremely chaotic relationships that should be ended much sooner than they typically are because the good times are remarkable,” says Gunther. “Over time the relationship, despite its phenomenal moments, begins to cost too much for one of the partners. The partner left behind is often confused, humiliated, and rageful, believing the other would never quit.”
#13
he named his son Orion, the name we had picked out because we were in a long distance relationship and we used to look up at the Orion constellation when we were missing eachother and when we were saying goodnight on the phone
Image source: Mary Ellen, Angelo Capitanio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
#14
He got married on our anniversary date, they moved into the house he built for me, with the ring he had made me for. With furniture we picked out together. every year he sets up a different email account to wish me happy birthday. It’s been 14 years
Image source: Lilly⁷, cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
#15
She wore the anniversary necklace I gave him to our daughter’s funeral.
Image source: Mandy C, cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Coker warns that communication is key when it comes to breaking up. “A lingering ex who contacts unsolicited, either physically or by [online] messages, can make people feel very uncomfortable,” says the expert, “which is why it is very important to be clear in a breakup and not to try and soften it too much to spare feelings.”
An ex that just won’t let go can also threaten or sabotage your future relationships and happiness. “A lingering ex can [make] a new partner feel there is ‘unfinished business,’ which may prevent the new relationship from taking off as they feel second-best,” cautions Coker.
#16
He proposed with the same ring I said no to 24 hours before.
Image source: PurpleZombieBabe💜, Vitaly Gariev/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#17
He wore my dad’s watch to his wedding 😭💀😂
Image source: Nathalia, Sushanta Rokka/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#18
He said my name at the alter. I wasn’t the bride.
Image source: littlerab9, Alexander Mass/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Sometimes an ex’s behavior is mildly annoying or even laughable. But other times it crosses over into more serious territory. If this happens, or you start to feel harassed, threatened or scared, it’s important to take your feelings seriously. Seek professional help and don’t hesitate to call the police before things get out of hand.
Have you had an experience with a nutcase ex? Let us know all about it in the comments section below…
#19
Texted me from the delivery room
Image source: ThickLizzyOfficial, Aleksandra Sapozhnikova/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#20
She repainted the table my grandpa made with his bare hands
Image source: Jennifer Ivey, Abenezer Shewaga/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#21
I took my husband shopping for his honeymoon , but I didn’t know it
Image source: jojobananas, Juli Kosolapova/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#22
He used my nickname I gave him on the dating apps after being together 30 years and 4 children. The dating age range was set at 18-45 …he was 58
Image source: Cara, Dali Bek/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#23
Slept with my best friend in a blanket I crocheted myself for him. She helped me pick out the colors when I was buying the yarn…
Image source: Levy🌼, Erinada Valpurgieva/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#24
The decorations on their Christmas tree are from my grandma.
Image source: Kim, Evelien Van Den Brink/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#25
He moved her into the house we bought together which also happens to be my childhood home
Image source: katiiiieeeeeee6, Alex Moliski/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#26
He covered his tattoo of our daughters name with his new child’s (not mine) name
Image source: Al🤍, benjamin lehman/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#27
Mine wore the cowboy hat I bought him for our cruise in his wedding photos. With the woman he told me was his cousin.
Image source: YourFavoriteButteredBalls, Michael McAuliffe/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#28
He called me on his wedding day and said “I always thought this would be us” and laughed btw
Image source: Kat, Doğukan Ata Öksüzoğlu/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#29
I lost a gold necklace while we were dating and I saw her wearing it..
Image source: Kadidrah Valentino, Cat Han/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#30
My dad’s dating profile pictures (while he was still married to my mom) were the cropped family photos we took for our church directory. He was a pastor.
Image source: Kate, Sophie Paterson/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#31
He used the crib my dad bought for OUR baby for the rest of his babies.
Image source: palisit
#32
We’ve been together for 11 years, 3 yrs married with two kids. I just found out last week that the song he chose when I walked down the aisle on our wedding day was HIS SONG for his ex. 😊💔
Image source: Chloe
#33
He gave her my ring that my grandmother gave me for my 16 birthday I lost it when I was 19 he even helped me look all over the house for it…. 4 years later he proposed with it 🤦🏻♀️
Image source: Anna C👀
#34
Broke up with me, devastated me, I went through a grieve process you can not imagine. Only to call me on my wedding day to my beautiful amazing husband to tell me he made a terrible mistake and that someone else was marrying “his wife”. Like bro seriously. It felt like a soap opera. I made the right choice and hung up and never looked back even once.
Image source: Emily Jensen
#35
Took his engagement photos at OUR sunset watching spot in La Jolla. And captioned it still my favorite sunset 😩
Image source: Brendalee
#36
He told me God never gave him a son before in the delivery room, so I named my son after him- 4 months later I found his first son- same name, then he had another son…. Yup same name- all 3 boys have the same name as him.
Image source: Officially Eirene
#37
They got married on our wedding day
Image source: annkellyjordan
#38
She’s wearing my engagement ring and sleeping in my bed with the blanket my mom left for me when she passed. He never gave me the blanket back and that’s all I wanted. He could keep the house and the bed and the truck. But that blanket was the last thing i had of my mom.
Image source: aradiajoy
#39
He danced with his wife at his wedding to our song.
Image source: Miriam
#40
She gets to live in my dream house we bought together. It’s still decorated the exact same. And she gets to see my dog every day 😢
Image source: Becca 🖤
#41
My furniture is in their engagement photos
Image source: user109610962
#42
He came crying to my doorstop 1 month before his wedding 13 years ago, telling me that he will forever love me and will be thinking of me during his vows… and I haven’t been able to get over it or trust anyone after that.
Image source: Jessica Kahawaty
#43
He “uninvited” our kids to his wedding. They were dressed, ready and excited.
Image source: PeachyKarma
#44
He called his new bride my name at the reception
Image source: I’llbringthesnacks
#45
He shattered my heart & married a girl with my name + the same birthday…then used my oddly spelled middle name for their daughter. She made a post about the names historical meaning & how special it is “to him”…the story was word for word what I’d told him about why the name meant so much to me.
Image source: GB
#46
He proposed with the ring he & I designed together for me … then “accidentally” cc’d me on the email with the photos of the proposal 🥰
Image source: savannah
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