Many people who experience rough and traumatic childhoods don’t realize what they went through until they get older. The harsh eye-opener then becomes the sobering new reality they must live with.
The stories you’re about to read verbalize that pain of suddenly coming to terms with such an ugly realization. Here, people bravely and candidly share stories of when they realized that what they went through as children was not only abnormal but also something no one should ever endure.
Some of these are difficult to read and digest, so proceed with caution.
#1
Adults oversharing their problems to kids like we were therapists.
PhilosoFishy2477:
“I don’t need a therapist, I have you!”
my sister in christ you have a depressed 14 year old
Image source: SignificantQuiet1508, Getty Images
#2
All the females of the family planning, preparing and cleaning up after every party/holiday while the men just sat at the table.
Image source: forevermore4315
#3
My parents.
I was in my 50’s before it dawned on me that some people actually had *good* parents who didn’t treat them like enemies when they were little kids.
Anon:
I work as a nanny now, and I feel a little jealous of the kids I nanny because they have parents who love them and I didn’t. I went into childcare specifically to be the kind of adult I needed but didn’t have when I was their age. Seeing “my” kids be excited to see their parents and how their parents put effort into their physical and emotional wellbeing heals me a little bit every time.
Image source: SmokedPumpkin, 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič
#4
Being forced to eat everything on your plate regardless of whether you liked it or felt full.
The amount of times I was made to eat food portions too big where I felt sick was often.
My body was telling me I’m full but I was forced to ignore it and overeat.
Image source: Snoo-94289, Laura Kimball
#5
Apologizing for things that weren’t even my fault.
itsmeYotee:
Mentally, emotionally beaten down until confessing to things I hadnt done. Being told she knew it was me, she knew I was lying to her when I hadnt done it. Then when I “finally confessed” Id be punished for lying about it.
Image source: highway_success, Getty Images
#6
Food insecurity. The amount of times I had my lunch taken away from me during school because we had no money is too high. All the adults acted like it’s normal not to feed a hungry child because they weren’t able to afford the four bucks. When I was a student teacher, I kept my bag stocked with snacks just in case I ever saw this happen to a child. No one should feel like lunch is a punishment where they have to watch others eat what they can’t afford.
Lem0n_Dr0p:
I went through this too. I thought it was normal for kids to just not have lunch sometimes. Or dinner. Or breakfast. The adults definitely noticed there were children going hungry. Heard one of my friends’ parents talking about school lunch debt when I was in middle school and I didn’t really think much of it. Now I realize how actually horrific that is.
Image source: iiRenity, reddit
#7
“If you dont stop crying, I WILL give you something to cry about” was an oldie but a goodie. Terror… It’s how they raised kids.
Image source: zoeyd8
#8
Apparently, mothers aren’t supposed to use children as verbal punching bags and make them feel terrible. And fathers aren’t supposed to ignore their family’s needs and walk around ignoring everyone 24/7.
Image source: GlitteringPurple4058, Vitaly Gariev
#9
Getting screamed at as a kid for not paying attention and being told i just didnt care enough. spent my whole childhood thinking i was broken. turns out i had adhd and nobody thought to check because i got decent grades. the shame from that sticks with you for YEARS.
Image source: No-Biscotti-1596, Getty Images
#10
Growing up with a second “brother” who was really a neglected kid my brother befriended that basically lived with us for days and weeks at a time because his family didn’t care for him or his whereabouts.
Image source: Beyondthebarracade, Hoi An and Da Nang Photographer
#11
Hearing “because I said so” as a full explanation.
juliainfinland:
The other moms (and dads) always made fun of my parents because they wouldn’t use “because I said so”. “But she’s far too young to understand!”, every time my parents gave me a (brief, age-appropriate but still sensible*) explanation as to why I was supposed to/not supposed to do something.
Turns out that if you get in the habit of explaining stuff early on, your child will grow up being able to understand (and use) reason and logic and other nifty things. Your child will also grow up to not have any patience whatsoever with the “because I said so” crowd. And you’d be surprised at how much even very young children understand.
*”Sensible”: no fluffybunny stuff like “because it makes Jesus cry”
Image source: ghost-vox, Getty Images
#12
When you’re told to go hug your aunt and/or uncle that you’ve just met. Whenever I hear that as an adult I just say “whoa whoa, it’s ok. I’ll take that hug whenever THEY’RE ready to give it to me.”
EDIT: Y’know what? It could be a family member that a kid has known for a while. If the kid doesn’t wanna hug anyone, be cool with it.
Image source: Futur3_N0maD_26
#13
Not being included in any decisions/no autonomy. Although I did realise a bit as a kid, when I was with a friend and their parents were asking them questions, like what they wanted to do on school holidays, and actually including them in their plans, and I was absolutely floored. What, you don’t just have to tag along with whatever your parents to and try and make the best of it? They actually do things FOR you and with you, like go to movies and theme parks and stuff???
Also, being physically provided for but emotionally neglected in general.
Image source: trowzerss
#14
I used to sleep on an empty stomach. Not because my family was poor and not everyone could eat. I could’ve eaten. I just noticed how tired mom always was and how my dad was giving her a hard time so I decided to pretend like I wasn’t hungry at all before going to bed. I did this for a good while.
Image source: Lupus600
#15
Being told to not wear certain clothes around family; tank tops, low cut shirts, shorts, short skirts or dresses. I was always TOLD it was out of respect for older traditional family members. It was not. Unfortunately I’ve got some really horrible relatives, and the second I hit puberty they took notice.
Image source: -SecondHandSmoke-
#16
When my mom had parties, she used to lock me in the air raid shelter in the basement, sometimes close to 24 hours until everyone was gone. I had a bucket to use as a toilet, and afterwards I’d get a Barbie as a reward for being quiet. I once told someone about it because I genuinely thought it was kind of funny. I was pretty confused as why they were shocked.
Image source: Donnerglocken
#17
Being told to “respect adults” no matter how they treated you.
Image source: ghost-vox
#18
Being fed considerably smaller meals than the boys and men in my family because “girls don’t need to eat much”
Turns out my mother was anorexic, and even though I’m 75 now, my relationship with food is still problematic. Whereby, mother is still going strong at 96 and now eats normally – she eats very well, actually.
Talk about ‘Hit and Run’ !
Image source: KnowingWoman, Kateryna Hliznitsova
#19
Being locked outside or with animals for the night as punishment, and having to earn my opportunity to sleep in the house and be able to be part of the family again because everytime I did something wrong, I tarnished and ruined the reputation of my family.
Image source: LofiLuvr77
#20
My dad telling me it was my fault for him cheating because I made a friend and he decided to sleep with said friend’s mom 🤷.
Image source: ConsciousStretch1028, Curated Lifestyle
#21
Getting called fat to my face constantly by everyone (my mom, siblings, friends, other adults) when I was 5’4” and 115 lbs, and wore a size 2
Now I’m 165 and I’ve never been called fat even once. Make it make sense.
Image source: AffectionateHelp4575
#22
Not going to parents for help because you know it’ll make the situation so much worse.
Image source: honeydew_bunny
#23
I wasn’t allowed to have feelings. Whenever I tried to express how I felt, my parents would accuse me of being a drama queen. As an adult, I learned to eat my feelings.
Image source: fearlessphoenix555
#24
Acting all nice with visitors and then saying how awful they are as soon as they leave.
Image source: pigadaki
#25
I got spanked and hit a lot sometimes for extremely unreasonable things.
Image source: Mammoth_Ad_5181
#26
Adults being drunk every evening after school. Having to sleep in two chairs pushed together at the pub because it’s so late and you’re tired. Having to listen to your parent slurring their speech at you, smelling their awful alcohol breath. Role-playing with your siblings as a drunk person. Being excited to grow up and be allowed to drink, too. Drinking till you’re blackout drunk being the “usual” baseline when you reach drinking age.
Lucky I went away to uni and learned temperance from *OTHER STUDENTS*.
Image source: Lornaan, Getty Images
#27
Hitting my head intentionally/other forms of SH to cope with stuff. I thought everyone did it privately for years.
Image source: Zaphira42
#28
“Harmless” pranks were common in my life, it took telling this story to someone and them saying it was messed up to make it click that most, if not all of the pranks my dad pulled on us kids were beyond horrific.
My dad rented a car and told me it was a graduation present. It took a lot of convincing because my father was notorious for his elaborate pranks and I just knew it was another one of his “jokes.” He spent the better part of the day tossing the keys at me and urging me to take my new car for a spin until he finally wore me down and made me think that maybe it wasn’t a joke after all. He had the whole family lined up in the driveway to witness the maiden voyage of the new car only to take my keys out of my hands right as I was about to put them in the ignition and let me know I was too young to drive a rental and laugh uproariously as the rest of the family joined in mocking me for being so gullible and my stupidly trusting nature.
Another one was when he spatchcocked our evil rooster and had it in the fridge, he was a HUGE bird. He hid my sister’s pet rabbit and convinced her it was Bun Bun chilling in the fridge. She went vegan for over ten years after that traumatizing joke.
For the record, my father ended up alone and miserable, just as he deserved.
Image source: One_Science8349
#29
Not being taken to the doctor when something was VERY wrong (concussions, broken heel, foot sliced open on glass, etc.). I also have asthma but never knew until I was 23 because my mom always told me i was just “out of shape” when I would struggle to breathe after gym class.
Image source: cozyblossoms
#30
Parents saying “I brought you into this world and I can take you out” when they were annoyed with you or threatening you when you were in trouble
That’s one reoccurring quote from my childhood that I will always remember.
Image source: smam796
#31
Constant comparisons to siblings or classmates.
Image source: nomorehersky
#32
Not having any right to personal belongings, privacy, or emotional expression that didn’t involve performing for the adults who couldn’t regulate their own emotions.
catsareniceDTH:
Ah, the classic “I paid for it. When you pay for it, it’s yours until then, you owe me everything I do for you.” Then taking away things I bought myself because they were a good way to punish.
Oh, and cutting the plugs off my things, because I may have bought them myself, but I didn’t pay for the electricity, despite being charged rent ‘housekeeping’ for years.
Image source: urRobotCompanion, Ivonne Lecou
#33
In the 1970s, my brother and I rode in the open back of a pickup truck from Houston, TX to Destin, FL, and back. We did this every summer for a few years. It was a 10-hour drive.
Image source: Kindly-mom2025, reddit
#34
Being beat by a belt….and not just a little.
Image source: Sufficient-Bid1279
#35
Being 13 years old (female) and having 18+ year old lads hanging round, buying us booze on a weekend. Seemed so cool and edgy at the time but now it gives me the creeps to think these grown men were actively choosing to spend time with pre-teen girls basically and buying them alcohol.
Image source: AreaMiserable9187
#36
My sister tied her toddler to the front seat of the car with a scarf to stop him rolling onto the floor when she braked.
Image source: Neither-Drive-8838, Getty Images
#37
My parents being okay with my 12 year old self dating a 19 year old guy. Spoiler—it wasn’t okay.
Image source: aintnomonomo1
#38
One of my friends dated one of our teachers…. he was absolutely gorgeous, and we were all so jealous.
Now, it makes me feel physically sick….. to the point of infuriated.
Image source: EmzyM
#39
Being terrified when dad came home in a bad mood.Then trying your best to be invisible so you weren’t in his path of rage.
Learning not to cry because you got hit harder if you did.
Image source: RaichuRose
#40
The gifted and talent program I was from 3rd until 8th grade.
Being screamed at about math as a 9 year old isn’t ok.
Image source: TheSpookyLawyer
#41
Grew up in the South. The “n-word” was used by everyone.
Image source: MRSRN65
#42
Parentification. I knew kids who had to grow up fast and take care of their siblings because their parents were t there for them.
Image source: Kevin-W
#43
Constant negativity and judgement isn’t ok. Took me a very long time to get past that.
Image source: dew57nurse
#44
Growing up my mom never allowed me to sleep past 10am even if I was sick. Was never allowed to take naps either, had to wait until bedtime to sleep.
One time I slept over at a friend’s house and we pulled an all nighter (we were 13) and when I came home I went to sleep cause obviously I was tired. My mom came into my room asking if my friends brother “did anything” to me and that’s why I came home and went straight to bed. Like what?? No mom i stayed up all night as teens do sometimes. She thought it was illegal or something.
Image source: Careless_Monitor_803
#45
Riding the car with the windows rolled up and my Mother smoking Pall Mall nonfilters.
Image source: PushSouth5877
#46
“That’s just how boys are, ur gonna have to balance it out and look out for them a little more esp. when u get into puberty.”.
Image source: africanrainfrog
#47
Being completely and utterly afraid of your parents. Smacks, face slaps and whoopings over the simplest of stuff taught you fast that you were not to inconvenience them with your antics or problems. It also taught you to toe the line or feel their wrath. Even down to getting sick: you had better be on death’s doorstep before you dared to try to inconvenience them with that mess. 🤷🏼♀️.
Image source: MassDelusion101
#48
After my parents divorced, my mom decided she’d rather spend all her money on booze rather than pay the mortgage or any bills, so I spent the winter before we got evicted erecting blanket tents and very carefully arranging space heaters so I could be warm because the gas furnace got shut off. I told the neighbor one day, CPS got involved a bit later, and my mom coached me how to respond to them so I wouldn’t get taken away even though now, I wish they had. Cold showers in December when the rest of the house is also unheated
Image source: Head-Case
#49
Adults not apologizing to children.
Image source: hellogoawaynow
#50
Probably the beatings. But seeing that all of my friends were subjected to the same punishment, it sure seemed normal.
And all of the heavy lifting of the household chores. My poor sister was 2 years older than me. She knew how to run the washer and dryer by the time she was 5. We both knew how to cook basic things by the age of 7. And by the time I was 11 we were both responsible for cleaning the entire house (my brother was 4 years younger and responsible for NOTHING).
True, my mother did work (AFTER I was around 10), but as much as I loved her, she was a terrible slob. The kitchen was a disaster after every meal she cooked and her bedroom was a nightmare of clothes strewn absolutely everywhere and overflowing ashtrays. And we were responsible for cleaning that too. My sister was in charge of cooking dinner every night during the week. One time she made instant mashed potatoes instead of boiling and mashing real ones and my mother screamed at her for a solid hour.
Image source: endorrawitch
#51
Being forced to smile and say ‘thank you’ for gifts or attention I didn’t actually like. I thought that was normal as a kid now I realize it was a bit manipulative.
Image source: Sweet_Adagio9450
#52
The way media and adults would “countdown till 18” with minor pop stars, the body shaming 24/7 even walking into a store and nothing over size 6 being in stock, allowing children to leave the house a sunrise and return at dark without any idea where they are, who they may be with, I can recall dozens of dangerous situations that I should’ve never been in or things I shouldn’t of been exposed to but parents literally did not watch their kids at all.
Image source: Super-Definition-610
#53
Being expected to run after my parents like servants as well as do all of the housework from around 4th grade onward. My parents ordered my sister and I around constantly. They wanted tea or coffee? We were supposed to make it. They wanted food. We were supposed to fetch/make it.
The pile-on of being at school from around 7:15 am (first on the bus on a 45-minute rural route) to 4:00 (last off the bus on the same route), doing homework with the expectation that we’d be on the honor roll, and then having to do all of the cleaning in the house, fetch and serve, and do some of the cooking was not right. It was way too much for kids. I never even questioned how hard it was until decades later when people were doing everything for their kids as part of modern parenting.
To this day, I feel like I’m failing if I’m not doing everything fast and well because of how I was raised.
Image source: DerHoggenCatten
#54
My family would accuse me of lying and get mad at me, even when I told the truth, and now I have issues where I get extremely defensive if I think someone thinks I’m lying, and I literally shut down when I so much as think someone is mad at me, it starts with me getting defensive or freaked out, and if it’s bad enough I go quiet and full deer-in-headlights mode.
Yeah, totally thought that was normal as a kid, until I moved in with my dad.
Image source: Cautious-Panda05
#55
The fact that my parents scolded me for going to play soccer after school.
Image source: Mediocre_Rice9569
#56
It probably was OK, felt very strange but acceptable. Back in the ‘50s the mom of one of my friends would check every kid going into her house for head lice. Each time. She never found any, but we had to line up for her inspections. .
Image source: TheAcmeAnvil
#57
Being sent to my room anytime I had big emotions to deal with it by myself.
Image source: Reasonable_War_5327
#58
Only being socialized with your parents friends not anybody your own age.
Image source: Ok-Raisin-9606
#59
Candy cigarettes…
Image source: Jetgurl4u
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