Where do you draw the line between bravery and stupidity? Skydiving? Facing off against a bear with a thorn in its paw? Criticizing a sleep-deprived new mother in her natural habitat? Let’s give you a hint. Only one of those will get you cursed at and have you leaving the house with your tail between your legs. So choose wisely.
One father-in-law decided to take a gamble and rolled the stupidity dice. While his daughter-in-law was literally in the middle of breastfeeding, he chose that exact moment to offer some searing critique. His timing was, to put it mildly, not great.
More info: Reddit
There are a few simple rules for visiting a new mom, and “don’t criticize her” is probably at the top of the list
Image credits: user18526052 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
While a new mom was breastfeeding her 5-month-old, her father-in-law told her she didn’t look ‘presentable’
Image credits: bearfotos / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He then doubled down, saying his own wife ‘made an effort’ after having kids back in the day
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The sleep-deprived, hormonal mom exploded and told him in flavorful language to get out of her house
Image credits: Silver-Clock-625
In a heartwarming twist, her husband immediately backed her up and kicked his own father out for his comments
A new mom, deep in the beautiful, chaotic, sleep-deprived trenches of parenting a five-month-old, was having a “normal visit” with her in-laws. She was running on no sleep and hadn’t even had time to shower, a state of being that is the official uniform of new motherhood. The in-laws were cooing over the baby, her husband was in the kitchen, and all was calm.
Then, her son got fussy, and she started to breastfeed him on the couch. It was at this exact moment, while she was literally sustaining his grandchild’s life with her own body, that her father-in-law decided to offer a piece of unsolicited and deeply insulting feedback. “You know you could at least try to look presentable when we come over,” he said. “You look like you just rolled out of bed.”
For a moment, she was stunned into silence, but he wasn’t done. He doubled down, comparing her to his own wife, who, in his memory, “still made an effort.” This was the final straw. The sleep-deprived, hormonal, and utterly fed-up new mom unleashed a fury that had been brewing for five long months. In a glorious, righteous explosion of pure, unadulterated rage, she let a few curse words fly and told him to get out.
Her MIL tried to smooth things over, but in a heartwarming twist, her husband, hearing what happened, immediately backed her up and told his own father, “You need to leave.” The woman, who had never cursed at an elder in her life, was left shaken but also validated, wondering if her perfectly timed and utterly justified words had made her a jerk.
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The father-in-law’s comment was a display of ignorance about the physical and mental state of a new mother. As the Sleep Foundation explains, sleep deprivation in new parents is a serious condition that can lead to cognitive impairment, mood swings, and a level of exhaustion comparable to a chronic illness. So just give the girl a break!
Her body is also still in a state of intense recovery. According to BabyCenter, the postpartum period is a months-long process of healing, where a woman is dealing with everything from hormonal freefall and physical pain to the complete rewiring of her brain. While her whole body reboots, the last thing she is thinking of is putting on blush.
The most damaging part of his critique is that it directly attacks a new mother’s already fragile sense of self. As explained by the pregnancy charity Tommy’s, it is incredibly common for new mothers to experience a “loss of identity” as their entire life is suddenly consumed by the needs of their baby. He mom-shamed her at the deepest level, and that is something her hubby would not stand for.
Her explosive reaction was a primal and completely justified response to an attack on her most vulnerable self. She was sleep-deprived, hormonal, and in the middle of a deeply intimate act with her child. His comment was a violation of the respect and support she deserved. Her rage was the voice of every exhausted new mother who has ever been told she isn’t “making an effort.”
Did someone make you go into mama-bear mode when you were a new mom? Share the audacity in the comments!
The internet erupted in applause, calling her a ‘hero’ and celebrating her husband’s supportive reaction
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