Ireland doesn’t exist. Bay leaves do absolutely nothing for your food. Lint rollers leave your clothes slightly sticky on purpose so they pick up even more lint—meaning you’ll keep buying refills forever and remain trapped in the lint industrial complex. And lotteries? Obviously designed to catch time travelers who “coincidentally” nail the winning numbers.
Sounds silly, but that’s the entire point of r/LowStakesConspiracies. It’s a subreddit where people share hilarious, harmless theories just for the fun of it—no alien cover-ups or government scandals required. We’ve collected the best ones from the community below. Check them out and upvote your favorites.
#1 Elf On The Shelf
Elf on the shelf was created by the government to make the younger generations desensitized to being constantly watched.
Image source: Spacebutterfly, themushroomphotographer
#2 Existence
Existence is a scam made up by philosophers to sell more philosophy
Image source: needtocomplain, Kazi Mizan
#3 Elon Gave Himself Neuralink And What We’re Seeing Now Is A Direct Result Of The Brain Damage
We see it happen again and again, someone gets brain damage, they become conservative. What if Elon gave himself Neuralink, it obviously failed, and what we’re left with is a dribbling moron. I mean, y’all saw that gif at the inauguration right? Where he’s like, spinning in his own head? Something is severely wrong. Dude’s brain is probably literally cooked.
Image source: USA_2Dumb4Democracy, Warner Bros. Television
#4 Lint Rollers
Lint rollers are designed to leave a coating of adhesive on your clothes so more things stick to them therefore increasing lint roller use.
Image source: Rawshark96, cottonbro studio
#5 Guinea Pigs
In many countries, you can’t buy a single guinea pig because they get “lonely”. This is clearly a shill manœuvre by Big Guinea Pig to sell more guinea pigs.
Image source: anon, Michal Petráš
#6 Ireland
Ireland does not exist – it was invented as part of a marketing campaign to sell Guinness
Image source: Gythia-Pickle, Anna Church
#7 Hold Music
Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose so you will hang up and stop bothering them.
Image source: ShrekkMyBeloved, GENTCREATE
#8 Orchestral Musicians Collectively Pretend That The Conductor Is Doing Something, Out Of Pity
Since the conductor can’t play the bassoon or the piccolo or whatever, all the real musicians feel sorry for him. Everyone agrees to let him stand there harmlessly and wave his arms while they play competently which they can obviously do anyway. Meanwhile the conductor is playing a giant playstation never knowing the controller is not plugged in. It’s really sweet that the musicians keep telling him what a great job he is doing at playing Tchaikovsky and not laughing while he flings his limbs around like Ron Weasley with a broken wand.
Image source: HydrostaticToad, Jonas Baumann
#9 Stephen Hawking’s Time Traveler Party
Stephen Hawking’s time traveler party actually was attended, but to avoid any accidental paradoxes being created it was reported that nobody showed up.
Image source: Acogatog, NASA/Paul Alers
#10 Passing Away
Passing away was invented by funeral companies to sell more coffins
Image source: NekoLover72, Pavel Danilyuk
#11 Taylor Swift’s Engagement Is A Marketing Tactic
In due course, her and the nfl guy she is engaged to will break up and she will use the publicity to advertise another album of break up songs that she has already written. Leading to another record breaking world tour that will see her earn another couple of billion dollars.
Image source: Frequent_Cheek_7816, Paolo V
#12 Supermarkets And Phone Signal
Supermarkets block your phone signal to prevent you comparing prices. I had no data in 90% of the supermarkets I have visited…
Image source: anon, Kevin Malik
#13 The Bay Leaf Doesn’t Actually Do Anything
Every recipe tells you to add this random leaf that has no smell or taste. You take it out before you eat the food. What is it doing? Nobody knows.
That’s because Big Bay Leaf is pouring massive amounts of money into getting online recipes to include it.
Image source: ICantBelieveItsNotEC, Getty Images
#14 T.s. Eliot
T.S. Eliot uses the S. so that his name isn’t toilet backwards.
T. Eliot backwards is toilE .T
Image source: radikoolaid, wikimedia
#15 British Food Memes
Nordic countries are spreading the British food memes to distract the world from how terrible Nordic food is
Image source: Toadvinez
#16 Sonic The Hedgehog
Sonic the hedgehog was deliberately shown to be a lovecraftian horror in order to gain large amounts positive hype when they “changed” all the cgi scenes
Image source: mcsabas
#17 Rage Against The Machine
The government paid for or otherwise boosted this tweet in order to de-legitimize the anti-government message of Rage Against the Machine
Image source: RadNharwhal47
#18 Car Dependency
Car dependency
Image source: malzinn87
#19 Tinder
Tinder is literally a project designed by the US military to break women down to the point where they just say f it and marry a random army dude after two weeks, so they never have to receive another “haha wyd” text
Image source: DatBoi_BP, Julio Lopez
#20 Dads
Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them
Image source: jjmcgil1985, Karsten Winegeart
#21 Mad Germ Scientists
The “kills 99% of germs” products were designed by mad germ scientists to cull the herd and ensure that only the strongest genes are passed on
Image source: LaksonVell, Connor Lucock
#22 Screens Before Bed
“experts” tell you not to look at screens before bed bc it “messes up your circadian rhythm” but they’re just lying so that they can enjoy unfettered high speed connections at bedtime. they want the night internet all to themselves
Image source: SwanSneeze, cottonbro studio
#23 Customer Service Can See Your Messages As You’re Typing Them
I was typing out a thank you message and they responded with a “your welcome” message before I even sent it. Can they see our messages as we type them?
Image source: loljkcuzurgay
#24 Stephen Hawking Discovered A Treatment For Als, And Kept It Quiet Because It Broke Ethical Rules
Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with ALS in his 20s and lived over 50 years with it, when typically people with ALS live another 2-5 years which is unheard of.
My low stakes conspiracy theory is that soon after Hawking discovered his ALS he began frantically researching a cure or at least treatment, and he successfully found a way to significantly reduce the progression of ALS, but that either the method he used to discover the cure or the method of producing the cure itself involved breaking some ethical (or perhaps legal) barrier, so he kept it quiet.
That would explain why a very smart scientist lives for 50 years with ALS while most other people live 2-5 years.
For the record I don’t necessarily think this is actually true, but it’s fun to speculate and seems weirdly plausible.
Image source: TangoJavaTJ, NASA
#25 Pokémon
The sprite of Butterfree from Pokémon was accidentally switched with Venomoth’s. Note Butterfree’s similarities with Venonat; including red eyes, a round purple body, flat feet and small clawed hands.
Image source: qdotbones
#26 Ghosts And Monsters
Ghosts and monsters were made up by big energy to scare children into using the lights at night more.
Image source: anon, Karolina Grabowska
#27 Marisa Tomei
I’m not normally one for conspiracy theories, but this is pretty compelling
Image source: goodbyegoosegirl
#28 Milkmen
Milkmen don’t exist. It’s all delivered by cats
Image source: eXistential_dreads
#29 Gender
Gender is a scam invented by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.
Image source: b_rad_c, billow926
#30 TSA
The TSA has figured out a long time ago how to detect liquid explosives in drink containers, we’re not allowed to bring drinks into airports because the convenience stores in airports just want to be able to sell more overpriced drinks.
Image source: CthulhusIntern, Patty Zavala
#31 Jars
Jar companies tighten their jars slightly more than the average woman’s grip strength, to maintain the patriarchy
Image source: seaneihm, Boryslav Shoot
#32 Ozempic
Ozempic doesn’t work, you just have $1,500 less per month to pay for food
Image source: AaronTuplin, Karolina Grabowska
#33 They Tell You To Always Arrive At The Airport 2 Hours Early Not So You Have Time To Get Through Security, But So You’ll Spend Money At The Airport
I’ve flown at least 60 times in my life, and I’ve never had security take more than 45 minutes, even at some of the busiest airports on a holiday weekend. Most of the time, the line to the Starbucks is longer than the security line.
Image source: rjln109, Adrian Agawin
#34 Geologists
Geologists know about tastier rocks than salt, and are holding out on us. They are keeping the tastiest rocks for themselves
Image source: EngineeringApart4606, Marek Kupiec
#35 Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker was supposed to be a young adult in The Phantom Menace, but during pre-production someone pointed out that he was so whiny and immature he sounded like a child. Recasting was easier than rewriting the whole movie.
Image source: pjtheman, lucasfilm ltd
#36 The Moon
The huge inflated seal levitating in the sky is called the Moon to distract you from the dangers of helium-filled balloons. Apollo was just a rescue mission to save the child still holding onto the ribbon.
Image source: fengarm
#37 Men
So many Men Have foot [desires] because their first partner was a sock
Image source: Silly-Marionberry332, Daria Liudnaya
#38 4th Piece Of Cutlery
There’s a forgotten 4th piece of cutlery that They have forced us to forget
Image source: WorldAroundEwe, Vie Studio
#39 Passport Photos
Passport photos are deliberately made to look as bad as possible so you can be identified easily after a long haul flight.
Image source: looking4truffle, Arturo Añez.
#40 Reddit
Reddit was created by the CIA to identify the brightest minds but it failed and ended up a support group for sad virgins
Image source: anonymous, Ralph Olazo
#41 Asda Rectangle
Asda White Rectangle Conspiracy
Image source: KolobokEyes
#42 Pokémon
Pokémon don’t poo or pee because their waste byproduct is expelled through use of their special moves.
Image source: Zactodactyl
#43 Tony’s Chocolonely Isn’t Divided That Way Because Of Inequalities In The Chocolate Industry…
…but because the uneven blocks cause you to lose track of how much you’ve eaten and encourage you to eat more. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of the business concept and a BIGGER fan of the chocolate, but by god I swear I get through a bar in like two sittings every time by accident!
Image source: Urghhhhih
#44 Sandwiches In The UK Are Not Meant To Be Bought
Okay so basically if you’re not from the UK we have a thing in all supermarkets called a ‘meal deal’, which is where you buy a main, a snack and a drink. This normally comes out to about £3.50 (daylight robbery). Snacks are normally floating around the £1 mark and drinks are also around £1.25. You’d think, then, that sandwiches would be maybe £2-£2.50 in order to make the deal worth it. They’re not. A basic sandwich is close to £3 now, and that’s for just a plain ham and bread. You can get sandwiches now that are £5, which is absolutely insane. This makes the meal deal an incredible bargain. Why would you buy a sandwich by itself for £5 when you could get crisps AND a drink for £1.50 less?? I think that these sandwiches are priced so high specifically to make the meal deal look like a better choice. They’re never meant to be bought by themselves. The choice of buying a sandwich at a UK supermarket is an illusion. There is no solo sandwich.
Image source: 35_47
#45 AI
New theory: all AI stuff is actually just a bunch of Indian people.
Image source: crusty54
#46 The Term “Bougie” Was Created Purely To Disguise The Fact That People Couldn’t Spell The Word “Bourgeois”
I’m not necessarily hating on it; language evolves, and we are (of course) in the middle of a vowel shortage. I reckon the next shift will be “bouro” for “bureaucratic” because who’s got the time and vowels to spell that out every time.
Image source: Hookton
#47 Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift signed her Kamala endorsement with “Childless Cat Lady” so that if you google “Taylor Swift Cats” her role in the Cats (2019) film would no longer be the top result.
Image source: WantDiscussion
#48 Sexuality
People who say “Sexuality is a choice” are actually just bisexual and just don’t realise it
Image source: Worried-Pilot-7791
#49 Netflix Has Bad Recommendations Because If You Could See Their Entire Catalog, You’d Unsubscribe
Their ideal customer keeps paying every month, watches a few things, and keeps scrolling through the front page hoping something interesting pops up.
But there’s nothing interesting, so Netflix has to fill the page with nonsense to hide the fact that there aren’t that many good shows.
If you could scroll through the entire catalog and realize that you’ve watched everything you care about, you’d unsubscribe.
Image source: Ajreil
#50 The Rock Is Using His New Slim Downed Look As An Out From Steroids.
Dwayne The Rock Johnson has been on steroids/ what ever PEDs for yeeaaaars. He made a whole brand being an enormous muscle monster. That many years on chemicals will kill you, he knows this. So now he’s dropped a bunch of weight. Still in shape, but not up to his literal ears in muscle, to play a role as an MMA fighter. (MMA fighters are much slimmer even tho a lot use steroids.) This slim down is the perfect excuse to cycle off the steroids without ever breaking kayfabe. My prediction he’ll never be huge again.
Image source: DitzyMinx
#51 WWIII?
my dad sent me this
Image source: starryshitx
#52 The Lord Of The Rings And Teletubbies
No such thing as a coincidence…
Image source: DrForbin
#53 Obama’s Last Name
The whole “Obama’s last name” thing is a misdirect to get people to forget that his first name is “Thanks”. Thanks Obama.
Image source: Cannadianeh
#54 Pedro Pascal Hate
The recent Pedro Pascal hate has been orchestrated by anti trans groups because he is so popular and vocal about trans rights
Image source: swadloonshrug
#55 R/Showerthoughts
r/showerthoughts was created to promote showering
Image source: FantaCola1701
#56 “Crisps” In The UK Are Called “Chips” In America To Protect The British Fish And Chip Industry From Supply Chain Issues Of Potato.
Unfortunately, due to an oversight in planning, the main ingredient in both the American Chip and British Chip is potato, so the whole scheme was an abject failure and has led to decades of confusion and miscommunication between the two nations.
However, it has recently emerged that actors baked deep into the potato industry may have deliberately mashed up the plans to in order to increase potato sales.
Image source: Falco_Lombardi_X
#57 My Workplace Has A Faraday Cage Built Into The Toilet Cubicles
I imagine a lot of people waste time on their phones on the toilet during the workday. This probably amounts to 1000s of hours of lost productivity.
So why wouldn’t a workplace do this when designing the office?
Well, that’s what I believe has happened. Right outside our toilet cubicles I get full 5G signal and fast internet. As soon as that door closes, nothing. Not a single bar of signal.
The walls are the same thickness as outside the cubicles and the only difference in a fairly thin (seemingly) wooden door.
There are two blocks of toilet cubicles, the exact same thing happens in both.
Image source: anon
#58 Weetabix
Weetabix is made from recycled weetabix boxes
Image source: Woldorg
#59 Subscription Meal Services Are Bait Switching Us
Every time I try a meal subscription, the first couple of boxes are incredible – fresh produce, generous portions, recipes that feel premium.
Then, like clockwork, it slides. Wilted veggies, smaller protein cuts and suddenly every dish is just a taco or salad.
My theory: new customers get the premium stock to hook you. Once you’ve settled in, they downgrade you to a bulk-tier supply chain.
Basically, the first few meals are the champagne service, then you’re on tap water for life.
Image source: ElBuzuko
#60 Dry January
Dry Jan was made up to give people something to talk about after the Christmas break.
Image source: Trizzy2714
#61 The Lottery Is A Trap To Catch Time Travelers
Lottery winners are investigated for being time travellers
Image source: Alex09464367
#62 Elon Musk Wants To Change His Name
At some point in the past, when Musk was an edgy teen or maybe an impressionable child, he wanted to change his name to X. He thought it would be SUPER COOL but his evil rich parents wouldn’t let him. Over time it became the fixation we see today – a company called X, a child called X æ whatever, stupid x-shaped jumps, and all. He’s a raging transphobe not for any political or moral reason, but because his daughter changing her name fills him with enraged jealousy.
If we get enough people telling him the transes will let him change his name AND gender to X, maybe he’ll switch sides.
Image source: jthrowaway-01
#63 The Reason Why They Stopped Making Transparent Electronics Is Because We A Started Associating Weight With Quality
If you were alive in the 90s, especially as a kid, you remember that every electronic device had a version with transparent plastic. They were always the coolest version of the device, and I personally always wanted the transparent one. Nintendo especially put out a lot of transparent electronics. I had a transparent Gameboy Color, a transparent GameCube controller, and some of the Pokemon games were transparent. I remember the bubble iMacs where you could see everything inside of it.
But alas, the clear craze started to die out. In fact, it almost went away overnight. What happened? If you ask Google, apparently the transparent plastic is more expensive to produce, and isn’t as sturdy. But looking at the transparent Gameboy that I have, I don’t know if “less sturdy” is entirely accurate. But what I really think happened is that we started to associate weight with quality, and companies started to get cheap with it.
Back in the 90s, and even today, you could tell that a product was going to be good by simply picking it up off the shelf. If it weighed nothing, then it was clearly lower quality than the one that was heavier. Because the heavier one had more something in it. Some sort of bits and bobs that clearly helped it work. Whether this was true or not didn’t matter. If it came down to it, you would pick the heavier one. Companies, being companies, caught on to this trend. Companies, also being companies, decided to be really cheap and cheat the system. They started to hide cheap weights in their product. Mostly steel plates to give it that extra heft that people wanted, while only costing the manufacturer a few cents.
But in order to hide this from the consumer, they couldn’t use transparent plastic. After all, if you saw a company clearly being cheap, then you probably wouldn’t buy their product in the future. You can still find some lower end electronics with steel plates in them today. But either way, companies cheaping out and making products artificially heavier led to the death of transparent electronics. Luckily it seems like they’re slowly coming back, which I’m all for!
Image source: PuddlesRex
#64 Elon Musk Despises Women So Much, He Made Sure All His Kids Are Boys With Ivf.
Fact: his recent baby mommas have revealed he uses surrogates to have his children, which requires IVF Fact: In IVF, you can have embryos screened and selected/discarded based on your preferences Fact: all his kids were assigned male at birth
When one of them turned out to be a girl after all and transitioned, he couldn’t handle it because he spent so much money and effort making sure he only had boys.
Image source: _more_weight_
#65 Tesco
Tesco deliberately have bad reception in their stores so you can’t load your club card in the app and have to pay full price at the till
Image source: _Diren_
#66 Luigi Mangione
Luigi Mangione is too good looking to be a normal guy, he’s clearly a brainwashed male model made to [eliminate] the CEO guy
Image source: AceOfSpades532
#67 The Royal Family Swans
The Royal family still eat swans and the only reason it’s illegal for anyone else to do so is because they’re so delicious, they want them all for themselves
Image source: cornwallisdoggington
#68 Elon Musk And Donald Trump Are Closeted Trans Lovers
Elon has body dismorphia/disphoria. This is evident in all his “hero” pics where he posts heavily edited pics of himself…
Trump LITERALLY wears high heels, makeup, and a wig…
Elon is NB, and Trump is transfem.
They are lovers hiding in plain sight, by throwing other trans folks under the bus, so that the press ignores the truth.
Image source: Taiga_Taiga
#69 Bonnie Blue
Is it possible that Bonnie blue is from another planet and she is here to collect human DNA to take back to her home planet
Image source: OpportunityMoist2902
#70 Aliens On Reddit
There are aliens on Reddit using it to get a feel for what humans are like before invading
Image source: nouxinf
#71 America Calling Mathematics “Math” Was The Start Of Devaluing Education
Mathematics is plural. There are many different branches of Mathematics. Most countries recognise this by abbreviating Mathematics as “Maths”.
The USA needs people to be ground under the machine for the wealthy. Mathematics is the universal language. As such undermining Mathematics gives strength to the rich.
So call it “Math” because it sounds smaller and, let’s face it, sounds silly.
Ergo everyone hates Math and everyone is more stupid as a result.
Image source: Happiness-to-go
#72 Banksy Isn’t One Person
…it’s not even multiple people. Those pieces just manifest, like black mold, in areas of social inequality as the universe balancing energies out. Similar to how the Mona Lisa isn’t real and just showed up in 1939 to make people sigh.
Image source: tattoosbykarlos
#73 The Idea “Don’t Fight Your Bullies, It Will Only Get Worse” Is Promoted Not Because It Lowers Bullying, But Because It Lowers Shit Teachers Have To Dealt With
To my experience and to experience of everyone I know, beating the shit out of someone bullying you helps. In the rare case it didn’t helped, it was because teachers took bullys side.
Yet we are always told we should just ignore it and inform a teacher/adult. Which is reasonable to be a first step if that happends. But sometimes it doesn’t help, or the adult does nothing.
And in that case we are still suppossed to sit it off, not create any fuss. You can ignore someone getting bullied, but it is hard to ignore fight with blood spilling.
I heard that kids who are bullied often have shy/defetist etc. parents as well. So sorta folks that are unlikely to start fuss, even the parents. And vice versa, bullies have aggressive/enthusiastic parents. Aka the type to storm the school asking why theirs angel have broken jaw. Even if they are good people, they can cause “problems” for the teachers. If I learned that the reason my kid have broken jaw is because they bullied someone and that person kicked them in the head, I would be just as furious. Not at the person, but at the school for letting it go that far (without at least telling me).
Image source: BeduinZPouste
#74 Flossing
Flossing is actually bad for your teeth and gums. No-one has ever found out because no-one does it.
Image source: CaptainMikul
#75 Jamie Oliver Can’t Cook
I’ve been to 28 of his restaurants and I never saw him in the kitchen. Watching his shows on channel 4, when ever he is making anything they zoom on his hands like Thunderbirds in the 60s where a hand model does all the work. Ironically he’s actually scared of kitchens as he thinks the pots and pans come to life like a 1930s Disney cartoon.
Image source: Substantial-Buyer-43
#76 R/Peterexplainsthejoke
r/PeterExplainsTheJoke is a project by AI companies to train their models to understand humor and sarcasm
Image source: georgehotelling
#77 Chinese Chatgpt ‘Deep Seek’
Chinese ChatGPT ‘Deep Seek’ is actually one million people in a warehouse answering questions. China needs to be deemed to have won the AI race and this came from nowhere.
Image source: haelwr
#78 The Rapture Did Actually Happen, Sort Of
So, 23rd and 24th of September was supposed to be The Rapture, I’d imagine there are plenty of people disappointed to be waking up still on planet earth today.
They’ll say “oh, we got it wrong” and “I’ll definitely be raptured when it comes for real”.
It was real, they’re in denial. It’s just that, of all the billions of people on this planet, not a single person was good enough to make the grade. Jesus checked the spreadsheet twice, there was a big red NOPE next to everyone.
Image source: joemktom
#79 Chuck E Cheese
Chuck E Cheese was created by Casinos to get children addicted to gambling early in life.
Image source: Ayr98
#80 Kippahs (Jewish Hats) Were Secretly Invented To Cover Bald Spots
Alright so I’ve got a friend who is jewish and he never used to wear one, but I noticed he started losing some hair back there and he’s suddenly started wearing one a lot more often. He claims he’s just feeling closer to his religion but i don’t buy it.
I reckon whoever invented them was balding and needed to make an excuse as to why he was wearing a hat and it got out of hand.
Image source: Sad_Sultana
#81 Moe Syzlak Knew It Was Bart All Along
So, it’s established that there’s only a few regulars in the bar, and yet Moe doesn’t ever question the name he gets given by a 10 year old, he just shouts it out, coincidentally in a way that makes sense both in the phone term, but also the rude joke.
Then there’s the fact that, the one time Bart is complimentary, Moe actually thanks him by name. Which makes me think Moe knew it was Bart all along, and was just playing to entertain the kid.
Image source: dazedan_confused
#82 Spongebob And Sandy Are Friends With Benefits, The Writers Of Sbsp Replaced Anything Romantic Between The Two Characters With Karate.
I don’t necessarily have “evidence”, but in season 1 ep 14, Spongebob gets caught trying to do Karate at work, and mr krabs tells him “no more”. The theory doesn’t really click until sponegbob and sandy get to the park later in the episode, where they make their best attempts to restrain themselves from doing karate moves on each other during a picnic.
There are also several points throughout the show where spongebob and sandy do Karate with each other publicly and it seems to make the other bikini bottom residents uncomfortable. They are (that I can remember) the only two characters who do it in the show, besides that one episode where they visit karate island.
Image source: poopballs900
#83 Claudia Winkleman Is An Act
My theory is that Claudia Winkleman, British TV presenter, is an act for the camera and the woman who plays her looks totally different off camera.
My main pieces of evidence: 1. That hair is obviously a wig 2. Her make-up gets more horrible every time I see her, it’s like a badly done mask.
I think she does this so that off camera she goes without makeup and wig and lives a normal, private, life.
Image source: Previous_Breath5309
#84 R/Birdsarentreal And R/Giraffesdontexist
r/birdsarentreal and r/giraffesdontexist are both just decoys created by the government to take our attention away from other animal-shaped surveillance drones.
Image source: roudybigbrowd
#85 Hospitals
Hospitals tell people that “they’ll never walk again” even when it’s not true just so people can have more engaging stories
Image source: ScabiesShark
#86 The Disney Live Action Remakes Are To Renew Their Intellectual Property And Disney Doesn’t Care Of They Flop Or Not
Mickey mouse became public domain recently, in order to protect Disney’s trademarks and as much intellectual property rights as possible they are going back through their back catalogue and creating new live action versions so that they can at least protect the trademarks for when they become public domain characters.
That’s why the live action remakes are always dog shit that make no money. The mouse cares not for profit, it’s all about the intellectual property
Image source: killer_by_design
#87 Facebook “Memories”
Facebook created the “memories” feature so that you delete your own cringy [stuff] from the past to free up space on their servers
Image source: averagepenisman
#88 Sims Taking Care Of Themselves Are Modeled After The Clinically Depressed
The Sims games have a weirdly consistent recurring behavior, in that Sims taking care of their own needs will do so in humorously ineffective and short-lived ways, and if you’ve been crippled by depression before then you’ll find their behavior oddly familiar.
Sims taking care of their own need to sleep will very often refuse to sleep, instead making cups of coffee to sustain themselves. If you don’t command them to use a bed, they’ll just crash right on the floor.
Their need to eat is sated most often by foods that take very little preparation, effort, or ingredients. A Sim would rather eat a bag of potato chips than cook a meal, and if they do cook, it’s something like salad or grilled cheese.
Taking care of their clothing and their cleanliness? Uncommon. Sims won’t often feel any urge to shower or change their clothes even if it’s actively making them uncomfortable.
When they need entertainment, Sims will often turn to unproductive and simple means, like a TV or a computer.
The only thing they seem good at doing is using the bathroom, but even then, it’s not rare for a Sim to put their toilet priority so low that they’ll up and pee themselves.
Image source: Ok_Insect4778
#89 Personalized Children’s Clothes
Personalized children’s cloths / toys with names on them are an effort by corporations to reduse “hand-me-downs” so you buy more.
Image source: Playing_One_Handed
#90 Downton Abbey Is Designed To Help The 1% Oppress The Masses
The actions of the family are far too kind, no members of the aristocracy in the uk would be that kind and generous and hospitable to their below stairs staff.
The writers are friends with the owners of Highclere (the main set for Downton) and hold their own titles.
Its all to make us feel more sympathy for the billionaires amd bourgeoisie of the world.
Image source: ClintonLewinsky
#91 British People Have Bad Teeth
The idea that British people have bad teeth was created by the American medical and insurance industries to make us skeptical or socialized healthcare.
Image source: JesusaurusRex666
#92 Cinema
Do I Need To Say More?
Image source: ErikUden
#93 The Only Flavour In Dr Pepper Is Almond, But The Manufacturers Don’t Want To Deal With Questions About Nut Allergy Safety
The Dr Pepper people make a big song and dance about their drink having this mysterious mixed fruits flavour, but as soon as you take a sip while thinking about almonds it’s obviously just almond flavoured. If you use it as a mixer with amaretto you get a drink that tastes exactly like Dr Pepper with alcohol mixed in, because the amaretto and the Dr Pepper have the same flavour. The problem is that if you’re marketing an almond-flavoured drink you have two options: accept that people with nut allergies aren’t going to buy it, or make it very clear that there’s no actual nuts in the recipe and risk losing customers who care about natural flavourings. For the Dr Pepper people to maximise sales, the safest option is to keep the flavour secret and rely on the faint air of mystery to draw people in.
Image source: slowcancellation
#94 “On Accident”
People have been instructed to say “on accident” just to bug me. And they know it should be “by accident”! But they “could care less”, right?
Image source: theamberpanda
#95 The Plandemic
The plandemic was created by the tourism industry as it was the only way to get clear day time photographs of famous landmarks
Image source: Pandaxxxxx
#96 Phantom Phone Vibrations Are Actually Real Vibrations That Phone Companies Use To Make Us Look At Phones More.
Those vibrations you are imagining? They’re real. There’s just an algorithm that works out if you haven’t looked at your phone enough.
Image source: Slloyd14
#97 The Pyramids Were Built As A ’you Are Here’ Sign To Help People Orient Themselves In The Desert
Apparently you can see the things from 38km (24mi) away. They would be a pretty handy reference point if I was lost and didn’t have my phone on me. Might explain why there are a bunch of them – so you can estimate how far way you as well as your heading.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the Pharos thought, ‘These idiots keep getting lost in the desert – let’s build them a marker.’
Image source: Roh_man
#98 ‘Crafts’ Sent Home By Kid’s Nursery
These ‘crafts’ sent home by my kid’s nursery (preschool) are a way to make parents do the nursery’s recycling.
Image source: has513
#99 Baby Wipes
Baby wipes and similar tissue products are deliberately designed to make you pull too many tissues out in one go, causing you to have to buy more. There’s always one that seems wrapped around and causes me to pull about 10 out at once. They never go back in well and dry out.
Image source: Gooseuk360
#100 Digiorno Pizza
I believe that Digiorno is shorting us EXACTLY 2 PEPPERONI every time. But why..
Image source: anon
#101 Pizza As “Za”
Nobody has ever legitimately referred to pizza as “za”. This is a myth invented by Scrabble enthusiasts to make the game more interesting
Image source: LamppostBoy
#102 Creased Clothes Are Unsightly
The idea that creased clothes are unsightly or make you look worse was spread by the inventor of the iron to sell everyone an iron.
Image source: Sorry_Astronaut
#103 Saturn’s Moon Is Actually The Death Star
Mimas (Saturn’s moon) is actually the Death Star, everything Star Wars told you was wrong
Image source: ConfusingIsLifeHelp
#104 In Disney’s Snow White, Dopey Is Not A Dwarf
The six dwarves all have beards and ears of equal proportion. They’re also all built kind of stocky. With the exception of Dopey. Dopey is slim with large ears and no beard. His “dopey” attitude is actually just a jovial one that the hard working dwarves misconstrued as stupidity. Dopey fits a more traditional halfing/hobbit than he does a dwarf. None of the dwarves have told him, they’d rather he felt silly than alone.
Image source: WhiteSpec
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