Children should be able to trust their parents more than anyone else in the world. Your mom and dad are always supposed to be there for you, whether you’re having the best or worst day of your life.
But the older one woman gets, the more she becomes suspicious of the stories she’s been told by her mother. That’s why she’s finally decided that it’s time to get a DNA test done, against her mom’s wishes. Below, you’ll find the full story that the woman shared on Reddit while seeking advice, as well as some of the responses concerned readers left her.
This woman has always suspected that her parents have been keeping secrets about her
Image credits: Garakta-Studio/Envato (not the actual photo)
So she finally decided that it’s time to take a DNA test
Image credits: msvyatkovska/Envato (not the actual photo)
The author later revealed some more background information
Image credits: Image-Source/Envato (not the actual photo)
Finally, she updated readers on her plans
Image credits: cigweb_01
It’s perfectly natural to be curious about your family and where you came from
It’s easy to forget this as an adult, but children know almost nothing about the world until they’ve been taught. We aren’t born knowing how to walk, talk, or read, and whatever we are told is taken to be true. For example, if you’re told that the man and woman taking care of you are your parents, you’re not going to question that as an innocent, trusting child.
But if you begin to notice that things aren’t adding up as you get older, you might want to get a DNA test done. According to The Guardian, over 40 million people around the globe have done DNA tests through companies like 23andMe, Ancestry, MyHeritage, and more. Often, people seek out these tests to find their biological parents, siblings that they weren’t aware of, or new relatives.
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
It’s perfectly natural for humans to be curious about where they came from, especially if their family doesn’t keep detailed records. Researchers in the UK found that 66% of adopted women made efforts to find their birth parents, while 34% of adopted men have done the same.
UConn Health explains that people often search for their birth relatives to learn more about their medical history, to understand why they were adopted, to find out about family traits and/or personalities, and to learn about their family history in general. So if you’re suspicious that your “parents” might not actually be related to you, it’s understandable to seek out a DNA test.
Setting boundaries with toxic parents is necessary
While it’s certainly not common, paternal discrepancy does occur from time to time. This is when a father raises a kid that he is led to believe is his biological child, but in reality, the two share no blood relation. This is estimated to occur in about 1% of families, but it tends to happen with younger parents, unmarried couples, parents of a lower socioeconomic status, or in certain isolated cultural groups.
In this particular situation, however, many readers pointed out that the mother is clearly keeping some secrets from her daughter. And regardless of the lies she’s been telling, she’s treated her daughter poorly for years, which is incredibly unfair.
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
When it comes to dealing with a toxic parent, Headspace recommends first deciding on the role you want to have in the relationship. Then, it’s important to set and enforce boundaries that you feel comfortable with. You might even have to take some time away from the parent altogether to process how they’ve treated you and decide how to move forward.
Headspace notes that family drama is inevitable, but it’s not your responsibility to fix your parents’ issues. If spending time with them only damages your mental health, it might not be worth it to maintain that relationship.
If you can’t trust or rely on your relatives, make sure that you have a support system outside of your family that you can lean on. And don’t be afraid to be honest about how you feel, even if it’s difficult or painful. You deserve to live your truth, with or without your toxic parents around.
Later, the author responded to several readers and shared more details about her situation
Many readers assured the woman that she had every right to get a DNA test done
Some even shared similar stories of their own, as well as messages of support for the author
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