Having a medical procedure, big or small, can be nerve-wracking. The nerves, the waiting, the bright hospital lights…it’s a lot. But every now and then, once everything goes smoothly and the anesthesia starts to wear off, something unexpected happens. People say the most unfiltered, hilarious things, turning a stressful moment into pure comedy gold.
And that’s exactly what unfolded when someone online asked people to share the funniest things they’d ever heard someone say while waking up from anesthesia. What followed was sheer chaos: off-the-wall confessions, bizarre comments, and moments so unintentionally funny you can’t help but crack up. Keep scrolling to see some of the funniest anesthesia moments people will never forget.
#1
When I woke from having my wisdom teeth removed, I asked the nurse to take me to the beach and release me back into the ocean so I could be with my people. She kept refusing, so I started accusing her of fiddling with me whilst I was asleep.
I ended up getting moved to a different recovery area, where I was then asked to be quiet because I thought I was listening to Nicki Minaj, but infact it was just me slaughtering the lyrics to an imaginary beat.
Image source: acid-nz, snaploon
#2
I was getting a tooth extracted and was really nervous. The dentist said he’d turn the gas up and I’d just fall asleep, then it would be over.
I still remember asking him if he liked chicken and dumpling soup.
Him: “It’s delicious, and why do you ask?”
…
Me: “Because that is what I look like [undressed]! Pale and lumpy!”
Image source: anon, Caroline LM
#3
Had a guy start shouting that he loved me, then became super worried and started whispering, “*But don’t tell my wife…*”
Unfortunately, she was holding his hand.
Image source: DeLaNope, Tima Miroshnichenko
Before we get into all the hilarious post-surgery rambling, it helps to understand what anesthesia actually does. In simple terms, it’s a group of medications designed to keep your body from registering pain during a medical procedure. These drugs temporarily shut down the nerve signals that would normally travel from the part of your body being worked on to your brain. Because those signals never arrive, your brain stays blissfully unaware of whatever is happening. It’s like your body hits a temporary “mute button,” letting doctors do what they need to do without you feeling a thing.
#4
I got my wisdom teeth out too. Had an IV, for the first time, I was 16 y/o.
All I remember was feeling GREAT, I mean seriously amazing.
When I sorta came too, I remember asking how much longer til it’s over. And they said “we’re done!”
The nurse brought me out to the car with my parents, and helped me out to the car. And on the car ride home I asked “why was the nurse was so friendly?”
My parents told me that I confessed my love for short haired brunettes, and that she would be my wife because “she was perfect” and “I loved her.”
Haha…I had no game at the time.
Image source: Adrop-of-red, Image-Source
#5
Im not a doctor but my sister was under and said “make this quick, I need to get back to my unicorn before the vortex closes”.
Image source: upanddown123, Anna Shvets
#6
After getting her wisdom teeth out, my cousin was having a difficult time waking from the anesthetics. She apparently knocked the pad of paper out of the nurse’s hand and said, ‘You need to write on a whiteboard, save the trees. SAVE THE TREES, WOMAN.”
Image source: coldsandovercoats
Not all anesthesia works the same way, and that’s where things get interesting. Some forms simply block sensation in one small part of your body so you can stay awake and aware. Others work on a deeper level, quieting your entire brain so you drift into a peaceful, dreamless sleep while surgeons take care of the heavy lifting. The method depends entirely on what kind of procedure you’re having: tiny stitches and major surgeries obviously require very different approaches. Whether you’re awake, drowsy, or fully unconscious, the goal is the same: no pain and no panic.
#7
(not a medical professional) A young person in my life recently had her wisdom teeth yanked. When she came to, she accused the nurse of stealing her tongue. Her mom and the nurse just laughed.
Image source: isoprovolone
#8
After oral surgery my fiance put me in the car and took me to get a milkshake. The place next to where he decided to go was called Wings & Things. I was sobbing profusely (for some reason the anesthesia made me cry) and said “what other things do they sell there?? WHAT THINGS?!”.
Image source: aughtomaton
#9
After my endoscopy, my surgeon said I was loudly singing some song in another language and made the nurses laugh. Confused, as I only speak English, I asked what language it was. He said French….and then I remembered that in high school, I had memorized the French National Anthem for extra credit and had performed it with much aplomb in front of my history class (and apparently to the post-surgery team as well).
Image source: camchristiney
Local anesthesia is the simplest of the bunch. It numbs just one specific area of your body, leaving the rest of you fully awake and functioning. Doctors often use it for quick or minimally invasive procedures: think skin biopsies, dental work, or a fast fix on a small injury. You can talk, breathe normally, and stay completely aware while the numbed spot gets treated. Out of all the types, this one causes the least post-procedure silliness.
Sedation is that strange middle zone where you’re not fully asleep, but you’re definitely not fully alert either. It relaxes your body and slows your brain just enough to make you comfortable and chilled out during the procedure. Many people describe it as being so cozy that they could fall asleep at any moment, yet still able to respond if someone speaks to them. It’s often used for things like wisdom tooth removal, heart catheterizations, or certain screenings. Most people under sedation barely remember what happened at all.
#10
I had a lump removed from my [chest] a few years ago. The table they had me on was shaped like a T, so my arms were outstretched. As I was passing out, I said to the nurses, “I feel like Jesus.” They had to tell me about it when I awoke.
Image source: meowheadz, Jonathan Borba
#11
I had jaw surgery last year and started to get really scared as I sat in my hospital bed waiting to be wheeled into surgery. My mom was with me and I told her how much I wished my dog was there because snuggling her always makes me feel better. I guess having my dog on my mind turned into some weird thoughts because apparently I started crying out of the fear that they were going to give me dog teeth.
Image source: ElectricPoncho, Alexas_Fotos
#12
Not a dr, but a roller derby girl who witnessed teammate break their leg. When the paramedics gave her the whistle of pain relief, she went from screaming in pain to saying “I hope that cute paramedic has to cut off my pants cause he might like what he sees.” Made more hilarious by the fact she is married ect.
Image source: SunnyLego, Mikhail Nilov
Regional anesthesia takes things a step further by numbing a large portion of your body rather than a tiny spot. Instead of just dulling a fingertip or small area, it can block sensation in an entire limb or everything from the waist down. It’s commonly used during childbirth with epidurals or for surgeries involving arms, legs, or the lower body. You’ll remain awake, but you won’t feel anything in the region being worked on, which can be both comforting and surreal.
#13
I had surgery for endometriosis. It is what it is. So there I am, just coming out of the anesthesia, and my hands are just going everywhere, like they have a mind of their own. I was rubbing my face and mumbling and then I felt an itch by my pubic area. So naturally I tried to scratch it. I then realize that they shaved my pubes. I began crying and moaning about how my pubes were gone, that it was going to take forever to grow them back, and that I really missed them. At one point I believe I was sobbing that they needed to put them back on me.
I’m really fun after surgeries and epidurals. 😂😂.
Image source: terib225, Andrea Piacquadio
#14
My boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident and was in the ICU coming out of anesthesia after surgery on his hip. The lady in the room next to him has some odd lung issues and they had to use a vacuum tube to suck stuff out (imagine the one at the dentist’s office). So I hear the nurse tell her, through the very thin wall, “It’s time for your oral suction.” BF looks up from the bed at me, smiles through the haze, and says, “Hey baby, how about some oral suction.” I then locked eyes with his mom across the bed and sighed. That was 2 years ago and she still brings it up.
Image source: yennagoose, cottonbro studio
#15
According to my nurses when I went under surgery, I went in demanding to know the name of the robot that was operating on me, and afterwards, I wanted its Facebook contact information. They never got it to me though.
Image source: EQandCivfanatic
General anesthesia is the big one: the full lights-out experience. It shuts down your awareness completely, putting you into a deep, controlled sleep where you can’t feel pain or respond to anything around you. This is reserved for major surgeries involving the chest, abdomen, or head, where you absolutely shouldn’t be conscious for obvious reasons. Doctors carefully monitor everything, from your breathing to your heart rate, to keep you safe. When you wake up, you usually have no memory of what happened.
#16
Not even a medical professional, I was the one under anaesthesia and this was relayed back to me. I made kissy noises at my anaesthesiologist. I asked for his number. He’s a 65 year old man.
Image source: Arlea
#17
Not a medical professional but the patient.
As they were prepping me for surgery, they put a mask on me for laughing gas (?) so they can put an IV in my hand (because I’m a hard stick). As the laughing gas was taking effect, the doctors and nurses turned into cartoon frogs. Since they took a few tries to get the IV in, I thought frogs were pinching my hand and kept on asking “why are frogs pinching me?” Once they got it in, I looked up and there was a nurse with glasses. I then said “frogs aren’t supposed to wear glasses” and proceed to try to grab the glasses from her.
Image source: RosaLilies
#18
While having dental work done under the influence of laughing gas, I (female, mid-teens at the time) tried very hard to flirt with the (also female, married) dentist. I was not in any way subtle. She was not at all amused… awkward.
Also, not anesthesia but Dilaudid: I called my husband from the ER once rambling about how totally amazing it was that we have fingers- “They’re so helpful, and they’re like, always there! They’re like little friends that you get to carry around with you everywhere.” It didn’t take him too long to figure out they had me high as a kite but he was super confused at first.
Image source: Platypus211
Even though anesthesia feels temporary, the medications can linger in your system long after the procedure ends. Depending on what type you received: sedation, regional, or general, your body and brain may stay foggy for hours. That’s why doctors always warn people not to work, sign paperwork, or drive until the effects have fully worn off. Your coordination, reaction time, and judgment just aren’t back to normal yet. On the other hand, if you only had local anesthesia, you’re usually good to go once your doctor gives the okay.
#19
My boyfriend, as he was being wheeled into recovery, yelled to me “honey! You can call me Shrek from now on!”
He has no idea why he wanted me to call him Shrek.
I had to have surgery a few months later, and when I had woken up, I called my boyfriend on the hospital phone and told him he could call me Fiona from now on.
Image source: mariamus
#20
I sang ‘you are my sunshine’ at the top of my lungs while being wheeled into the recovery room after my knee surgery. My dad, along with my (now ex) husband could hear me clear across the other end of the hallway, even through the snickers and giggles of the nurses. The surgeon still calls me sunshine when we see each other around town.
Image source: cpx284
#21
My girlfriend after wisdom teeth removal:
Do you think they call it sand because it’s between the sea and the land?
God love her, she was a riot the whole way home.
Image source: NotA_PrettyGirl
The reason people act so ridiculously after anesthesia is pretty simple: the drugs temporarily scramble the brain. They mix up your memory, blur your awareness, and make your thoughts bounce around like loose marbles. This creates a perfect recipe for strange comments, emotional outbursts, and random confessions.
Part of the silliness comes from the way these medications interfere with the parts of your brain responsible for coordination and clear thinking. You might forget where you are, repeat the same question five times, or start talking about things that make zero sense. The stress of surgery, plus any pain medication still in your system, adds another layer to the confusion. Even people who are usually very calm or serious can become giggly, overly dramatic, or deeply sentimental. Once the drugs wear off, most people don’t remember a thing; they just get to hear the stories later.
#22
After I got my wisdom teeth outh, I lined up all the health food cereal and knocked it onto the floor while crying out, “THIS IS BIRD FOOD MOM!”.
Image source: C9C4G9
#23
Coming out of it, my mom asked me if I took Tasha to school. It was 7pm and Tasha was my cat.
Image source: mtrimmy, Ali Kazal
#24
While getting my wisdom teeth out – I found out I asked all 5 female dental assistants to marry me. To try and seal the deal, I did the splits in the dentist chair and told them “Flexible redheads make good [love]”.
I’m also 100% gay.
Image source: Irishluck722, Anna Keibalo
And then there’s emergence delirium, the most dramatic part of the whole experience. It’s that foggy, half-awake phase where your brain tries to switch back on but misfires a little. Adults can experience it, but it’s especially common in children, who sometimes cry, laugh, or babble as they regain consciousness. Symptoms range from mild confusion to full-on emotional chaos, though it usually passes quickly. Most people return to normal within a few hours as the medications fade out of their system. Until then, they might say things their family will never let them forget.
#25
After my sister got her wisdom teeth taken out, the dentist told her she couldn’t run for a week. Her response, “that’s stupid, I don’t run with my teeth.”
Image source: kooxchicle, Pavel Danilyuk
#26
Working in a operating room, 90% or patients are so groggy and zoned out we don’t hear much from them. The funny stuff usually happens in recovery, and I tend to avoid awake patients like the plague when I can. However we once had a girl waking up after the case who still had the LMA in her mouth. Once she started to choke on it a bit the anasthesiaologists yanks it out saying “no, no, don’t swallow that.” She then, without skipping a beat says out loud, “well, a girl doesn’t hear that too often…” We all broke into tears laughing. Also one day we were working with an Asian anasthesiaologist one day and we brought a patient into the room for a case. He already had been medicated an had a block put in, so he was half way out the door mentally. As he lays there he says he doesn’t want it to hurt. The surgeon says to him, “ohh don’t worry, Dr. Chen’s got the good stuff ready for you.” The patient then just looks up at Dr. Chen and in the most racist voice you could imagine, he says; “OOOOHHH, number one, combo special! Beef broccoli!!!” We immediately lost it in the room.
My personally favorite wake ups are the teenage, and early 20’s males. Most often they wake up in the OR with wild eyes, confused and ready to fight everyone around them. It’s always fun to pile around them, hold all their limbs down and yell at them, “Its ok! Go back to sleep!”. Then the eyes roll back and it’s off to sleepy time.
Image source: CitizenNone
#27
When I got my wisdom teeth out I was recovering from being under in a separate roomp. When I came to I saw a poster of an Asian woman in the office and asked “Why are her eyes all squinty? What’s she plotting….”.
Image source: FrankBluth
These posts remind us just how unpredictable and unintentionally funny people can be while waking up from anesthesia. It’s a strange mix of science, confusion, and comedy playing out in real time. Which moment made you pause, laugh, or think?
#28
So, I’m a pretty big guy and I have an extremely high tolerance to medicine. When I went in to get my wisdom teeth out, they gassed me and hit me with what was supposed to be the knockout needle, but I just kept talking. About pie I think (it was relatively close to thanksgiving). So they gassed me and stuck me again, and although inhibited and pretty [messed up], I wasn’t out yet. So I leaned in real close to the doctor and slurred “just bring out the nurse with the hammer. ” Then out I went.
Image source: Balb0Biggins
#29
The physical therapist I worked with is named Guy, after a hip replacement he introduced himself to the women who was still pretty loopy. She thought he said his name was God, and then said “I always imagined God being taller”. She thought he was god for at least 15 minutes.
Image source: anon
#30
“I feel like I got hit by a train!”
Guy actually got hit by a train.
Image source: oppressed_white_guy
#31
Was getting tonsils removed I think, and put under anesthesia. And the dentist was wearing one of those colourful shirts with butterflies on it.
I apparently was super into those butterflies and poked her [chest] the entire operation saying ‘what pretty butterflies’.
Somehow, mom was semi- impressed.
Image source: FlamingPixel
#32
My sister once said “I want..to..to eat your face…it looks nice..but take out the teeth.”
Doctor was so creeped out.
Image source: I_AM_THE_REAL_JESUS
#33
After getting hernia repair surgery I semi-consciously yelled at the nurses about my clothes:
Me: “MY PANTS. WHERE ARE THEY.”
Nurse: “Sir, they’re next to the -“
Me: “TAKE ME TO THE ROOM WHERE YOU’RE KEEPING MY PANTS.”
Nurse: “They’re right over -“
Me: “MY PANTS WOMAN. GOOD GOD.”.
Image source: justplainmark
#34
I was recovering after ankle surgery and was 90% woken up. I hear the anethesiologist whose name was Dr. Cappuccino talking to the woman next to me. The woman in her sleepy state said “Dr. Cappuccino? Your husband must be delicious! You see my husband over there? He’s delicious too!”.
Image source: nairbmik
#35
While I was in the prep bay before surgery, I got a jumper shot of some kind of medical barbiturates, to ensure the anesthesia takes fully.
I was convinced that the 5 pointed star shapes on the curtains were starfish.
Not only were the starfish moving, they were dancing. Specifically, the waltz. And I told this to every single person that walked by.
“They’re not just dancing. They’re *waltzing*”.
Image source: mirrislegend
#36
According to my mother, when I was going under before surgery I apparently loudly asked: “So, what do you guys do with the stuff that you take out of people? You burn it? Cuz, like, if you burn something it makes smoke stuff which goes in the clouds and then when it rains there’s gotta be some human bits in the water. So if you burn it and it later snows that must mean that some boy will catch a snowflake on his tounge and it might be part of my intesti…..”.
Image source: akaast
#37
After a abdomen surgery: “how is my knee? will I ever walk again?”.
Image source: ccspeedrun
#38
“I’ll buy you some friends”..
That’s very kind patient but I don’t know you, and I have friend.
Image source: anon
#39
I woke up and told the Nurse she was beautiful and that she and the other Male Nurse should “Totally go on a date…”.
Image source: anon
#40
When I went to get my wisdom teeth out, the staff were chatting about their upcoming trip to Mexico for a doctors without borders type thing. I get put under, my teeth are removed, and I’m set up in a super comfy recliner to wake up. As I was coming to, one of the nurses came over to check on me. I’m not sure what I said, but he mentioned the trip to Mexico again. I got very serious and told him he really shouldn’t go. There are dragons in Mexico. He started laughing as I continued to insist they’d all be eaten by dragons if they went on their trip.
Image source: indyj22
#41
My brother proceeded to grab his face saying “This isn’t my face”.
Image source: pyriclastic_flow
#42
Wasn’t exactly the funniest thing I heard, but more the cutest. When my mother came back from her colonoscopy, she said “I just don’t care who you love. I accept you. You’re gay and I love you” I laughed so hard at how disoriented her speech was!
Image source: thee_gypsy
#43
I’m a veterinary nurse so none of the patients I’ve ever recovered have said something funny, but when my boyfriend had his wisdom teeth out, the last thing he said to his nurse as the gas took effect was “Don’t worry, if anything goes wrong, I’m CPR certified.”
Image source: shenannaigans
#44
I was under anesthesia recently. Apparently shortly after I had come to following the procedure, I said to the nurse putting me back into my bed, “see you on the other side.”
Image source: Heavensector
#45
I was the patient, and my wife and doctor told me this when I began to wake op after a colonoscopy:
The doctor was about 5’-1”, and I kept asking him where the pot of gold was.
Image source: Cwmcwm
#46
We had the same family doctor for over 45 years. He actually delivered me, some sixty-odd years ago.
When I was a middle-aged man myself, during my very last checkup before he was to retire, he invited me into his private office, where he took half an hour to reminisce and laugh with me about a bunch of family stuff. He informed me that I had actually been one of his very first solo deliveries as a young attending, and that he had been a little nervous on my mom’s behalf.
He reminded me that by all indications, I has promised to be a rather tricky delivery: I was a week overdue, I was her first pregnancy, I was a pretty large baby (9.5 lbs), that Mom was a very tiny woman, and that she had already been in labour with me for more than 24 hours. He told me he had been about to suggest to Mom that a Caesarian might be in order, when I suddenly decided it was time to bust a move.
Mom had had a funny reaction to her epidural, and between that and sheer exhaustion from her lengthy labour, the doc could tell that she was fading in and out of lucidity during my actual delivery, which took a while even after I had become motivated. And in addition to all the other complications, early in the process the doctor had also needed to digitally coax me into the perfect position to make my grand entrance.
Lucid or not, Mom certainly remembered *that* part of the procedure.
Because according to the doctor, just after he’d cut my cord, and before she had fully come round again, my dishcloth-limp, sweat-drenched, exhausted mother – normally a very gentle, unaggressive and soft-spoken woman – had suddenly grabbed him by his upper arm with a grip of steel, heaved herself halfway off the table, locked eyes with him from about six inches away, and yelled, **”DID YOU AT LEAST TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF BEFORE YOU WALKED IN?”** Then her eyes had rolled back in their sockets, and she’d flopped back onto the delivery table, out like a light for the next ten minutes.
Doc chuckled that the mat nurse had had to leave the delivery room for a bit at that point, because she’d [wetted] herself a little – so he ended up washing me off and wrapping me up in a receiving blanket himself.
To the end of her days, Mom’s steadfast claim was that she has absolutely no recollection of *ever* saying anything like that to him, and was horrified by the possibility that she had. Nonetheless, Doc told me that *this* was that incident that had made Mom – and me – two of his very favourite patients.
Image source: theartfulcodger
#47
My mom has a sort of cute one. After a recent surgery she woke up crying and asking for my dad. 31 years of marriage and still stupid in love with each other.
Image source: mstarrbrannigan
#48
I recently had to have a tooth removed and while under laughing gas, after however long of them scraping against my teeth, I declared that I “knew how they came up with dubstep music!” The nurse pulled out of my mouth and asked what I had said. I responded with “you know dubstep moosic is right?” and she laughed and nodded. “Whoever made it must have made it after having a tooth pulled and hearing the wiki wiki bwaaaaa”
She literally had to stop working because she laughed so hard.
Image source: ElvishGaming
#49
I head-butted a nurse after a surgery.
Image source: fearthewiener
#50
Obligatory “not a doctor”, but when my friend woke up from general anaesthesia after his kidney stone removal surgery he turned to the anaesthesiologist, locked eyes, and straight mumbled, “…Did you break my dongus?”
The poor guy has to excuse himself from the room he was laughing so hard. Never came back.
Image source: mysidopsis
#51
Not me but my friend got knocked unconscious and and hurt her neck so they gave her some pain medications, when they took her for act she was asking why and the nurse told her they had to take a picture of her brain and she asked if she should smile.
Image source: samanthaleex
#52
Underwent a procedure that required sedation with ketamine. I screamed for half an hour in the post op area. I scared the patients and fought off the staff, little 5 foot tall me.
When I stopped tripping, the staff told me that they had to use enough sedatives and Dilaudid to take down a grown man three times my size.
Image source: Interictal
#53
Apparently when I was getting my septum fixed, I yelled at the doctor for lying to me about how the stuff prior to the anaesthesia would taste (“THAT WAS NOT A BANANA, YOU LIAR, HAVE YOU EATEN A BANANA BEFORE”), then post-surgery I reportedly burst into tears over a particularly heart-warming episode of In The Night Garden because the Tombliboos couldn’t find their toothbrushes. My dad thought this was all great fun.
Finally was abandoned by family, at which point I asked some poor nurse to give me my phone, and everyone in my recent contacts list got selfies, focused on my nose, followed by messages about how [this medicine was] fineeeeeeeeeee
I was 21.
Image source: anon
#54
When I woke up from surgery, I was hitting on ALL the nurses. Young, old, man, woman, didn’t matter. Everyone got called beautiful that day.
Image source: 604jmv
#55
Obligatory “not a doctor,” but a few years ago before my hip surgery, the nurses were wheeling me back to the OR when I remembered my purse was underneath the bed. They handed it off to my dad and I (while under whatever loopy meds they put in my IV prior to full sedation) made a joke about how the purse matched his outfit. One of the nurses made a reference to The Hangover, and I followed with “it’s not a purse, it’s a satchel; Indiana Jones has one.” They all started hysterically laughing which of course set me off too. It’s a joke I still would’ve made sober.
Image source: warmjulysun
#56
When I got my tonsils removed, I woke up from my anesthesia in the general post-op area. It took me a while to wake up but when I did from some reason just started yelling “I AM ALIVE! I AM ALIVE!!!!! AND WANT HASH BROWNS!!!”And not stopping. I had to get out into a private room because other patients and families were getting worried about a patient yelling “I AM ALIVE, I AM ALIVE ALIVE ALIVE!” With bits of “who has hash browns?” I eventually started pronouncing “hash browns” into”HASH-A-BRA-OUNS!”. The nurses were trying to keep me from yelling because I just got my tonsils removed and said I would be in a lot more pain, if I did not stop yelling. This made me yell more. They were both concerned but also laughing so hard they had to leave the room (from what my boyfriend told me). I was in so much pain when the [medicine] wore off. LPT: Do not yell after tonsillectomy.
TLDR; After Tonsil surgery, screamed “I AM ALIVE, I AM ALIVE!!! And want HASH BROWNS”. Had to be wheeled to private Post-Op room because I was scaring patients and families.
When I got appendicitis, they gave me Dilaudid because it felt like someone was trying to burn a sharp bulb out of my lower stomach. I remember going from screaming/crying from the pain to telling my boyfriend “I feel like I am being hugged by a cloud” which is what I thought I said but in reality he said I just murmured “cloud ….. hugs”. He did a WTH face and then said I starting swaying side to side with my arms crossed saying “cloud hugs” and humming.
TLDR; Got appendicitis, while on Dilaudid, tried to tell my boyfriend “I feel like I am being hugged by a cloud” but in reality had my arms crossed while swaying said “Cloud …. Hugs”.
Image source: Humptydumpy
#57
I just got done having surgery in my ear, I’m waking up and my mom who is Puertorican asks how I felt in Spanish, apprently I brushed her hand aside and said “stop speaking Spanish this is America”. Caught some grief for that one lol.
Image source: jdpr22
#58
After I got my wisdom teeth taken out, I was placed in the recovery room. I vaguely remember this, but I stood up and started doing squats. The doctor came over to me and asked me what I was doing. My reply: “I’m getting ready for the race, can’t you tell?”.
Image source: PirateMonkey00
#59
Apparently when I was getting my wisdom teeth out, the anesthesia started to wear off and I woke up. I was really confused because there were people with doctor masks and stuff all around me and I knew nobody. I got scared, so I tried to stand up and leave, and I remember a hand shoving me back down saying, “Sorry, you’re not done yet.” They must’ve pumped me with more anesthesia after that because I don’t remember this, but the doctor said I burst into tears after they shoved me back in the chair and I sobbed for 10-15 minutes in the middle of the surgery while saying, “I’m sleepy, I’m so sleepy.”.
Image source: geebsterlove
#60
My 3 year old daughter had surgery to repair a herniated belly button. She was laying in a little kid beds with side rails so they don’t fall off. As she was waking up we couldn’t understand a word she was saying but after having a Popsicle she get’s really serious and stares at me. She says “I’m in a baby’s crib!”. Looks away, then looks back with this silly grin on her face and says “That’s silly!”. Melted my heart.
Image source: lemkepf
#61
I told the Doctor I felt like a camel whose hump had dried out when I woke up from my wisdom teeth ordeal. Then I told him to bring me 9 Powerades as they were lower in sodium than Gatorade and a pack of chewing tobacco.
Image source: caitlington
#62
Got my wisdom teeth out, woke up from anesthesia. They asked me if I felt good enough to walk, and I laughed at them and was like “are you kidding, yes of course I can walk”. I got out of the chair and went straight to the ground.
Image source: StanDinfamy
#63
I worked for a LARP company. When I was filling out the forms to get my wisdom teeth yanked, I listed my profession as “writer”, because it saves a lot of explanation.
The last thing I remember before going under was the doctor asking me what kind of writing I do. I recall saying “I run sleepaway camps for adult nerds who think they’re elves and wizards.”
Image source: Cramulus
#64
I don’t think I said anything out of the ordinary, but after I got my wisdom teeth taken out and the anaesthesia was wearing off, apparently I wanted to hug every one of the doctors, nurses, and techs who passed by my bed in the recovery room even though I was a bloody, swollen mess to thank them because I [was alive].
I think I ended up hugging my main doctor three times because I kept forgetting I had already done it. He was pleased; doctors don’t usually receive affection/gratitude from post-op patients who are in a lot of pain.
Image source: rawberriesandcream
#65
I had an umbilical hernia repair, as I was coming up from the anesthesia I asked “Did anyone notice if I farted?”
This apparently made me quite the hit with the nurses, and the doctor had left the room at that point and complained “I’m never in the room when they say something funny!”.
Image source: Skywyse
#66
I’m not a medical professional however thought I may as well share:
I was in hospital once for a day surgery operation on my back and as I woke up from the operation I started to seriously panic as I thought I had slept in and was late for college. I tried to get up while still in the theatre and the doctors were desperately trying to make me understand I wasn’t late for college. Then, the whole time I was being moved back to the recovery ward I lay as still as possible because I was sure I had been abducted by aliens. When I was offered food or drink I refused to drink anything but a cup of tea because for some reason I thought aliens couldn’t poison tea!!
Image source: Loobylooloo
#67
My dad is a nurse anesthetist. Once when he put someone to sleep they started telling him a joke. When they woke up they finished the joke without missing a beat.
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#68
I said “I need to wash my boat!”
Was 15. Did not own a boat.
Image source: anon
#69
Not a med-pro, but…When I was being wheeled to recovery after surgery we rolled past the waiting area for relatives of patients. I saw my wife and shouted “Gabba Gabba Hey!” Seemed appropriate at the time. My wife just looked at everyone looking at her and said “ya, he’s with me”.
Image source: Zenon7
#70
Obligatory “not a doctor” but when my wife came out of surgery she was all excited to see me. I stood by her bedside talking and letting her know everything was fine. We joked around a little.
Then…
“Oh hey, Soomuchcoffee! You’re here!”
“We’ve…been talking for like ten minutes…?”
“WE HAVE!?”
“I THOUGHT SO?”
She almost [wetted] herself laughing.
Anesthesia is weird.
Image source: soomuchcoffee
#71
One time I went under anesthesia, I kept asking if the mask they had on me was just oxygen. They told me it was, but I didn’t believe them, and I was very concerned that it was nitrous. I tried to keep asking, but I don’t think my mouth was actually letting out the sounds. I heard my mom complaining about her coworkers as I was waking up. I threatened to beat them up.
Another time I went under anesthesia, I just started laughing right before passing out. I remember the whole room of medical professionals grinning a little bit as I went under. I woke up laughing, too, and one of the nurses there was still grinning. He told me I was a cheap drunk as he walked me out of the building.
Image source: anon
#72
My dad was coming out of knee surgery that he had to be put under for. They also gave him a morphine drip he controlled. The nurse walked in on him laughing at static, he insisted it was the best flea race he had ever seen.
Image source: Atlusfox
#73
“If I was 40 years younger, I would ravage you!”
She was 87. I was in my 20’s.
Image source: iLostMyColors
#74
After I got my teeth removed and woke up I had an UNCONTROLLABLE urge to drive (I had recently got my permit). I was like “let me drive I want to go!” My mom had to physically restrain me by putting her forearm against my throat against a wall. The nurse also had to help restrain me. I cooled down after like 5 mins of this.
Image source: anusthrasher96
#75
Not a doctor, but my girlfriend broke her ankle pretty badly in April.
I showed up in the ER shortly after she’d arrived, and had to step out briefly so that the nurses could set the bones back. They had to give her something pretty intense for the pain, believe it was ketamine.
I came back in after it was done, and hilarity ensued.
She forgot repeatedly that she’d even broken her ankle. She constantly worried that she was swearing too much (there was a little boy in the next bed), which she was not. She thought that reality had broken and that there were “eight universes all at once”.
Image source: frachris87
#76
I recently had open heart surgery. When you wake up they give you a heart shaped pillow to hold onto and put pressure on your chest (which feels amazing). When I woke up I threw the pillow at my mum and told her that whoever came up with that idea was the most ridiculous person and screaming that no one wants something on their chest after it’s been broken. That pillow ended up being my favorite thing and I kept it with me 24-7 for a couple of weeks.
Image source: turtlesandshit
#77
Not a doctor but recently had surgery because my ovary was in the wrong place (as well a a bunch of endometriosis) I barely remember going into the operating room because when they were prepping me they gave me something to ‘calm down’.
As soon as I woke up I straight off asked to see my SO, they wouldn’t let him in. So then whenever I saw a nurse I kept asking them to ‘thank doctors for me’.
I just really wanted the doctors to know how much I appreciated their effort, and that seemed so darn important at the time.
Image source: flacedpenis
#78
I got my appendix taken out, and the doctor told me to say good bye to my wife before the surgery. She said “I love you”. I said “I know”. She did not find it that funny. The doctor chuckled though.
Image source: iMightBeTheGuy
#79
When my mom got her knee replacement, she kept telling everyone she was a ‘happenin’ chick’.
Image source: coughdrop01
#80
From my sister as I seem to be pretty normal under Anesthesia effects
“Well, Its not that I dont like icecream but your eyes are very purple” – Wisdom teeth.
Image source: JangSaverem
#81
According to my wife in the post op ICU I was trying to pull out and pull off everything including a breathing mask or cannula or something. The nurse asked me to stop, I gave her a very polite “Yes Ma’am” and went right back to pulling.
Image source: technofiend
#82
Most patients aren’t that chatty, though a few get a bit handsy or start swinging (I’m look at you; users of coke and/or anabolic steroids).
Did have a woman wake up sobbing and grab my hand, really distressed: ‘but doctor… has someone done the washing up?!’
Also men invariably check that their junk is still there. Every time.
Image source: Doddlebot
#83
After getting my wisdom teeth out, I apparently asked if they were out yet, and when they told me they were, I just sighed and said “Well that was fun.” I don’t actually remember this, the first thing I remember is waking up in recovery.
Image source: anon
#84
Had surgery done on my neck. The nurse asked me if it’s ok for my parents to come in.
“No it’s ok, I’m fine”.
This continued about five or six times.
Image source: Voltwreker
#85
The week after I met my now-husband, he had lasik. His parents dropped him off at home, did NOT hide his phone and he called a whole bunch of people.
He called me, and said “You’re so awesome. Do you know that, how awesome you are? You’re AMAZING. So awesome.”.
Image source: Sympatheticvillain
#86
My wife started talking in Spanish. She doesn’t know Spanish. The lady in the office who does confirmed that she doesn’t know Spanish.
Image source: cartmancakes
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