Imagine being married for 15 years only to discover that you’ve been the “secret family” all along… That’s exactly what happened to one woman who has given up much of her life to be a stay-at-home mom while her husband spends most of his time working.
The woman has shared how it only dawned on her recently that something wasn’t right. Her husband even told her and the kids to pretend not to know him while on vacation. He claims the family will ruin his professional reputation, but netizens are urging the wife to open her eyes and see things for what they are.
On the surface, they seem like a happy family with a wonderful life and financial stability
Image credits: monkeybusiness / Envato (not the actual photo)
But in reality, the mom and kids are being kept a secret, and “work” always takes priority in the dad’s life
Image credits: GroundPicture / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Dimaberlin / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: nd3000 / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GroundPicture / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: smartorgullible
Workaholism is “the best-dressed problem of the twenty-first century” – an expert’s opinion
Just like many of the other “isms,” workaholism is an addiction. Being married to your job, obsessed with your work, and unable to see past the thing that brings in the money. But it often comes at the expense of other important things in your life, like your family, friends, and sometimes even your mental health.
At least one study has found that couples dealing with workaholism have more stress and lower relationship satisfaction. That research revealed that workaholics are less involved in family duties, provide less support to their partners, and this, in turn, causes more interpersonal conflict. Partners of workaholics might often feel lonely, neglected, unseen, and disconnected.
Bryan E. Robinson is a psychotherapist and author of ‘Chained to the Desk in a Hybrid World.’ He calls workaholism “the best-dressed problem of the twenty-first century.” But Robinson says that because it’s become such a big problem, it requires more understanding and less judgment.
“If I fight my workaholism, that’s like fighting the fire department when your house is on fire,” he explains. “You add stress. You don’t fight yourself. You don’t attack yourself. You bring compassion to it.”
Robinson admits to once being a workaholic himself back when he was a college professor. He’s said that his anxiety would rise when he wasn’t working. “His work compulsion — even while on vacation — led to frayed relations with his spouse,” reported NPR.
There are several symptoms of being a workaholic, according to the expert. “One is the internal signs, and those can be physical, physiological, stress-related symptoms, such as gastrointestinal issues, anxiety, and headaches. And psychosomatic illnesses,” he says.
The other is from the outside, adds the expert. “I’m kind of amazed at some of the employers that I work with, actually,” revealed Robinson during a podcast. “They don’t want workaholics working for them because they feel like they’re really not as productive — they’re so busy manufacturing work that they don’t get done what needs to get done.”
He advises treating workaholism like any other addiction. It takes much introspection and self-awareness to get your power back.
“One of the ways is paying attention to what’s going on inside,” Robinson explains. “We have parts or protectors that take over, and they eclipse us. They eclipse who we really are sometimes. And recovery, healthy living, and happiness are about not allowing these aspects of us to run the show and pull us around by the nose.”
He adds that none of us are passengers in our bodies, and therefore, we shouldn’t let things drive us. “We want to get out of the steering wheel, and whatever is driving us, we want to put it in the passenger seat and fasten the seat belt. But everybody wants to be driving their own life.”
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