Your government will tell you which side of the road you need to drive on, and your employer will set the dress code for your 9 to 5, but when you’re at home, you make the rules.
Recently, we thought it would be interesting to see how differently we organize our living spaces and found a few online threads where people shared the non-negotiable do’s and don’ts in their households.
From cultivating treats to enforcing a strict chore schedule, the things that folks emphasize can be surprisingly varied—just like the residents themselves.
#1
You are excused from all obligations and chores if a cat is sitting on you.
Image source: SparklingCitalopram, freepik
#2
10 house rules? Jesus.. who has time for that? If people can’t behave like civil human beings they aren’t allowed in, but I don’t employ rules. Life is too short for that nonsense.
That being said, I live alone and I do what I want, when I want, and how I want.
Image source: NatureGirl16, wavebreakmedia_micro / freepik
#3
My cats are VERY friendly and VERY social. If they freak out and hide, get the f**k out.
Image source: alfieohalfie, EyeEm / freepik
#4
1) Get the f**k out if you have a problem with my dog. I’m not gonna lock him in the bedroom, not for you, NOT FOR ANYBODY since it’s his house too. (my dog is very gentle and calm and well behaved, but he is a people dog, and he loves to make new friends)
2) Repeat that 9 more times.
Image source: niiightskyyy, freepik
#5
I raised six children who are now aged 35, 32, 31, 27, 24 and soon to be 17.
Not really strict rules, but some were rather stupid rules because one child was a little different.
Her three kids were 6, 3 and 2 when I married my wife. The other three we had together. All six were raised by my wife and me and we lived as one big family. The children have called me dad since before my first child was born.
The first stupid rule began when the youngest of my wife’s first three was around 4 years old. If we were eating and there was a big bag of potato chips, he would throw a fit if anyone tried to eat any chips.
In his mind, the entire bag of chips was his, regardless of the size of the bag.
So stupid rule number one was no eating chips out of the bag. Either put them on your plate with your sandwich or in a bowl. That eliminated his “ownership” of a bag of chips.
He’s been out of the house for over 13 years, and just the other night when I came home from work, I got out a bowl and put some chips in it just to eat a few. I could have easily eaten a few chips straight from the bag and resealed it, but old habits die hard.
Image source: Robin Gronovius, freepik
#6
1. No toxic people are allowed to visit.
Times 10.
Image source: anon, Wavebreak Media / freepik
#7
1. Don’t use my crafting shears for opening packages or cutting tags
……. I guess that’s pretty much it lol
Image source: MooseCannon316, freepik
#8
No spontaneous guests.
No wearing shoes inside.
No Neon*zis or f*scists in general allowed in my home.
No disrespecting people living here.
No harming of our pets.
No destruction of our property.
No eating without a plate, making a mess on the floor and throwing around pieces of food.
Most can be summed up as: Behave like a decent human being.
#9
1. We don’t always have to keep it neat, but we have to keep it clean. Some clutter is acceptable, smells are never ok.
2. If I’ve invited you over to do a particular task or activity, come prepared to do just that. Don’t accept my invite thinking you’re gonna show up and lead me on a detour from our original plan. If, for example, I invite you over for a craft night, I’d probably rather do crafts by myself than be stuck entertaining someone who just wants to talk.
3. Be mindful of and respectful to my plants, pets, and partner (edit: not in order of importance lol).
4. If there are multiple guests, don’t start a f*****g fight with someone else. Take it outside and don’t come back until you can behave.
Image source: breadspac3, freepik
#10
Be respectful (no racism, no hate)
No gluten in the air fryer, rice maker or breadmaker. (I have celiac and anyone who contaminates those appliances with gluten is not welcome)
The cats live here, there will be cat hair, but you can move them off the couch
Please let me know if you want tea; I really really like making tea for other people.
If you need a pen, please ask first, I have so many and some are not meant to be used by just anyone (my fountain pens are my babies)
#11
If we like you, you can help yourself to wherever you need; cuppa, we’ll you know where the kitchen is, hungry? Fridge is full.
If we don’t like you, you’ll get offered tea, coffee or water. And we would bring it to you, you ain’t roaming loose in my house.
Image source: anon, EyeEm / freepik
#12
The kitchen counter is for glasses not a*ses. In other words, don’t sit on the counter!
Image source: danebramaged01, freepik
#13
1. Don’t set fireworks off indoors.
2. No mullets.
3. Don’t try and tidy up after I’ve cooked for you, my boyfriend will do it.
4. Bring dogs.
5. No ants allowed.
6. Don’t grumble that my downstairs loo looks like a shoe cupboard. It is a shoe cupboard.
7. Admire my ghosts.
8. Tell me if you’re cold. I’ll get you a blanket. Heating is expensive.
9. If you’re expecting a cuppa, bring your own milk. I probably won’t have any.
10. Don’t overstay your welcome.
Image source: lems93, Zac Meadowcroft / unsplash
#14
-shoes at door
-toilet seat default position is down
-TP roll- over
-make the bed if you sleep in it
-pet the poodle
– be kind
-make yourself at home
– guests get the comfy chair
– expect to be fed
– bring wine whenever possible
Image source: anon, rawpixel.com
#15
1 – dogs go wherever they want
2 – of dogs want a walk, we walk
That’s it
Image source: jeswesky, freepik
#16
1. My house, my music.
2. Yes, I have some cool, old s**t. Don’t touch it.
3. Eat or drink all you want-pitch in on the next bottle or food if you finish off something expensive.
4. Couch is available for napping, reading, and conversation-always.
5. I prefer some warning that you’re coming by.
6. Be kind to everyone here-you are ALL my people even if you’re not in the same circles.
7. There are always more blankets-let me know if you’re cold.
8. Sitting in comfortable silence here is entirely okay, we don’t need to entertain each other-if you’re here I just like having you around.
9. Unless I’ve told you a plus one is okay, don’t bring strangers to my place.
10. Smoke whatever you’re smoking outside.
Image source: sh6rty13, sergeka
#17
We don’t have like a list or anything, but some rules that jump to mind are:
* No jumping on the sofa.
* Swordfights and bouncy balls outside or in the hallway.
* No sword attacks on unarmed people (shields count).
* Have rooms clean on Saturday mornings (poorly enforced).
* Don’t sit on the dinnertable (also poorly enforced).
* Only look for eggs if all chickens are outside the coop.
And regular stuff like eat with your mouth closed, try to use utensils, brush your teeth and put on clean underwear in the morning.
Image source: Pondering_Giraffe, freepik
#18
Don’t touch the thermostat.
Image source: TweedleBeetleBattle2, lazy_bear / freepik
#19
I have mostly rules for kids:
– argue only in native language,
– no feet above the table (not only ON the table, above the table, as they get creative)
– don’t wipe your face in my shirt, even if you want a cuddle
– eating soup with chopsticks is only allowed shirtless
– on long drives whining is allowed 30mins before arrival, not sooner
– don’t lick people or the cat, even if they smell good
And so on.
Image source: Why_So_Slow, freepik.com
#20
I used to have a free for all house of my own, even after dating SO with his kids for a couple of years. I love hosting and had a guest room. Food and dishes were all on me, stay as long as you please. My friends aren’t the types to need rules.
Since moving in with SO and kids and acting as more of a step for the last year the list of rules is long.. just to keep things livable without burning me out or living in a landfill.
1. Clothes in the hamper. Your hamper. Towels/rags go in the basket on top of the fridge.
2. If I’m doing I’m doing all of the laundry, the sink better be clear. If you decide to do a load, put it away right away. (Maybe you can tell laundry is a source of mess in our house.. before I moved in SO would have a giant “clean” pile of everybody’s clothes mixed. Never got put away. Hampers were occupied by a mix of clean clothes, dirty clothes, and everybody’s out grown out clothes to “sell” just.. no.)
3. Something in, something out. It doesn’t have to be immediate. But if we’re going to have huge Christmas/birthday room better be made BEFORE the event. And if you’re going to randomly buy things you better have a place in mind that same day.
4. No if’s ands or buts about routine things. Tantrums and hard days are normal. But not about everyday things. Tablets are gone at dinner, homework will be done, teeth are getting brushed, baths will be had, books will be read, and children will be sleeping. We will wake up on time everyday and keep our bags packed for the next day. I’m not going to be responsible for tired, tablet-addicted kids who don’t have any of their things ready for school.
5. Bathroom time is alone time. We all share a bathroom- give a heads up if you’re showering for a long time.
6. Clear common areas. If all 4 of us left our papers/toys/hobby supplies/hats/shoes out it would be a train wreck. So none of us will. When you’re done with it, put it away.
7. Respect our furniture and home. I put a lot of time, money, and effort into buying nice things and keeping a clean home. Don’t stand on couches, hang from the bunk beds, sit on tables, etc. We have a huge yard and live next to a park.
8. Ask nicely. And respect no as an answer. That goes for everybody, including the kids when it’s not a mandatory thing like bed time or cleaning up. Nobody likes being forced into fun. We’re all entitled to some alone time. Very necessary rule in a small home with 4 people!
9. Say sorry when you did something wrong. Again, all of us. We go over proper apologies a lot. Focus on how you effected the person, not explaining your intentions. Tell them how you’ll fix it/do better in the future. Then follow through as best you can.
10. We’re a team. Everybody gets age appropriate chores, we all pick things up even if we didn’t necessarily make the mess ourselves. If somebody is having a bad day or gets hurt, we all stop what we’re doing. We all have our “jobs” when it comes to running things smoothly. We have a routine. Stick to it as best you can. And if you’re having a hard time ask instead of just not doing something. If you have extra time try and find something to do for the house instead of screwing around.
It might sound like I’m a hard a*s, but SO isn’t a natural cleaner and has a hard time reaching the kids good habits. With our system the worst day here is better than the best day before I started helping out (before I moved in… wasn’t about to tackle that all on my own or be the bad guy). The kids take a lot of pride in doing their part, toys aren’t lost, board games/art projects/legos/puzzles are used frequently because they know where they are. We’re not living in a landfill. I’m not a full time maid. We’re not arguing constantly or losing things because there’s a routine. We have more time for fun because we’re not living in a depression nest.
Image source: BuildingMyEmpireMN, freepik
#21
I only have one rule – No knives in bed. The joys of loving a farmer…
Image source: Newcs91, freepik
#22
(1) take care of your own needs first, the best gift you can give each other is being aware of your own needs, fulfilling them if possible, communicating when you need help.
(2) then look around to see if anyone else needs help and offer it.
(3) Be kind. families help each other
(4) No slime. No putty. No orbeez. Nothing that looks like slime or putty or may be smushed to become slime (looking at YOU orbeez)
(5) shoes on the shoe bench, coats on the coat hook. Neither should pass the front hallway.
(6) be open minded
(7) unlimited hugs!! Unless you don’t want hugs hugs, then no hugs will be forced upon you
(8) the cat is mean. Don’t touch the cat. I know the cat is rubbing against you, she’s still mean, don’t pet her.
(9) the first band aid from petting the cat is free
(10) subsequent bandaids will cost; price tbd
Image source: Tristavia, freepik
#23
1. No politics
2. No religion
3. Leave me alone
4. If you need something see rule #3
#24
I have never written these down but I’ll give it a shot
1. No bigots, racists, homophobes allowed.
2. Be nice to my pets they are my children.
3. Don’t go through my stuff without asking.
4. If you make a mess clean it up.
5. No smoking near or in my home.
6. No unannounced drop ins or uninvited visitors without notice.
7. Unless specified, 11 pm is as late as I want a visitor.
8. If you clog my toilet there is a plunger, don’t leave it clogged.
9. Don’t eat all my snacks.
10. If you damage my property and do not make up for it. I will sue.
Image source: Kkarotcake, romanzaiets
#25
They’re not really rules, because I think if I had to enforce them regularly I’d be out. They’re behaviours I expect in my home, which is my safe space to relax and live.
I’d say the main rule is common sense and being considerate. Easy things like making sure the toilet is flushed and clean, don’t invite randoms over, give warning for overnight guests, don’t track mud through the house, clean up spills or mess, no smoking in the house, no shouting or unnecessarily raised voices, no bigotry, no bellends, no dogs (we have rabbits).
#26
This is a chaos free zone. We will have mutual respect and treat each other as humans. Not exactly 10, but this is it at its core for everything. I am the head of a multigenerational household and this is how we approach everything. Bills, chores, shared space, entertaining g friends -everything. Our home is a safe haven and needs to stay that way. We discuss before folks come over, do big changes or even before we do large family dinners.
Image source: Nelyahin, pressfoto
#27
1. No yelling
2. No violence
3. Kindness always
4. No judgement
5. No hard d***s
6. Chill
7. Do what makes you happy
8. Laugh as much as possible
9. Bonus points for cooking
10. Ditto for bringing ice cream
Image source: Lower-Difficulty-227, Frolopiaton Palm
#28
Yes I do! Some of them are more preferences, and I can be a bit too shy in expressing them.
Don’t close the bathroom door after you’ve exited (the cat’s litterbox is in there)
Do close the toilet lid when flushing! (I feel grossed out by the airborne particles flying everywhere)
No one, except my husband helps me out in the kitchen unless I ask them to. Guests should just relax! Another selfish reason for this is that I get nervous that they will mess up my stuff and create a mess.
Feel free to pick up and look at books in our bookshelf! (As long as you’re careful).
Unless we let you, don’t go into our combined bedroom/office. It’s our private little space.
No sticky, oily or dirty hands on the boardgame pieces or switch controllers. (We provide napkins if there’s snacks, so usually not a problem)
If we have a party, and you get drunk enough that you need to puke: Make sure you stay outside in the yard (during good weather), or in the bathroom! Clean up after yourself properly. We’ll think twice about inviting you next time either way.. This has been a problem at only a few, but memorable, occasions.
Image source: Magdalena Erliksson, vysochynaeugenia
#29
I realise I have a few, mostly it is don’t be a t****r, but if you need a list
1. don’t be toxic
2. Don’t insult my home, decor or way of doing stuff.
3. Don’t touch my LPs
4. Please do sit down, relax.
5. Tea or coffee, you can choose, but I won’t give you milk because my bf drinks from the carton.
6. If you need something, ask- don’t snoop. Several of the cupboards are old and broken. Yes I am saving to get them fixed. No I do not want to renovate my gorgeous kitchen – we point 2.
7. Yes I know some of my things are old, but they work. I have no intention of throwing something perfectly fine away.
8. Do not criticise me in my own home.
9. My home is a safe space, please feel free to cry
10. Do not ask me what that thing in the fridge is. I do not know, it is my boyfriends latest fermenting project and I will have to eat it
Image source: kidwhonevergrowsup, ASphotofamily / freepik
#30
1. Be respectful
2. Be safe
3. Be helpful
4. Vote
Only 4 rules, but those first three encompass a lot; everything from saying polite words to having the address memorized to cleaning up after ourselves.
And really, that last one could be rolled up into #2 since we’re all queer or #3 because we’re all working toward a better world, but it’s better to make it explicit.
Image source: insertcaffeine, freepik
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