Jut say the insult and put your answer in quotes.
#1
Once my sister said “You’re so ugly!” and I said “Oh hey, we’re twins!”
#2
“At least I don’t have to hide behind my insecurities by hurting other people.”
#3
someone[mybully} said”lets ignore her today!” me”I CAN FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND NO ONE WILL KNOW UNTIL ITS TOO LATE!!!!!!!! I AM JUST AN INISENT FLY ON THE WALL!!!*villain laughter*n HHHHHAAAAAAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH
#4
One of the best I’ve seen (I think I stole it from a bp list) was “First of all, brush your teeth. Second… *insert your rebuttal to their statement*” I also love “Okay? And?” accompanied by a blank/expectant stare
#5
If someone gets all angry with me and just starts spewing some vile stuff I wait until they finish and say “If you wanted to make out with me that badly you could’ve just asked.”
#6
if someone says something mean to you like for instance you your ugly i know you are but so am i so on and so on until they something nice like your pretty and then you say HANK YOU SO MUCH HOW SWEET OF YOU! and then walk away
#7
“I will shove my foot so far up your a*s you will become a scarecrow” -blue mouse
#8
Just say “Go to French hell”. It will leave them wondering French hell is.
#9
My usual comeback to my sister’s snarky remarks:
Her: “Your face is ugly.” Me with a straight face: “You’re one to talk.” Her: “Be quiet!!! I have a beautiful face!!”
Sometimes I just stare at her. She’s big on emotions and I’m not, and my staring makes her more upset. “Stop looking at me!”
Sometimes, for people on the internet, I respond to insults and remarks with a very serious, non-sarcastic reply. Someone says something snarky and I say very pointedly “you are incorrect about this, you assumed THIS without any evidence, and that was a misunderstanding. Also, I don’t do that other thing either. Don’t stereotype a whole group based on some of the loud mouths’ actions :)”
I use “:)” for a “this is a warning” face. I use “=)” for a genuinely friendly face.
#10
I was annoying a coworker by asking the same question, phrased differently, several times one day. She was on a deadline, totally stressed and trying really hard to be patient. i was new to tech support and really did not understand our ATM software so I really needed to know. About the 5th time she explained it again and finished with “and why don’t you just tatoo that on your a$$ so I can get back to work”. Stunned for a moment, I paused, then replied “well, ok, but it will be backwards in the mirror sooo”
#11
I once told a guy that called me fat (I’m not) that he looked like. Blonde celery stick.
#12
“The jerk store called their running out of you.” George Constanza (seinfeld)
#13
This guy I used to work with asked me our a few times. Each time I sad ‘no’ so he asked me why. I told him ‘for many reasons. One being I’m allergic to penicillin.’ I wish I had a 🎤to drop afterwards.
#14
“Do you know who I am?” I know who you think you are.
Follow Us
