Today, you have no reason to wine or frown because there’s a batch of hilarious wine puns in town. Wine is a drink that has been with us for an inconceivably long time, helped build empires, and saw them fall. Wine is as much a part of our history as the rise of humankind itself.
With such deep roots and traditions, there’s no wonder wine jokes and puns are, too. Of course, it also helps that some grape varieties have very punny names, such as Bourboulenc, Steen, Bobal, and many more outrageously hilarious names.
Interesting Wine Facts
Before we go on to the funny wine puns, here are a couple of fun facts about wine. Did you know that a Champagne bottle holds the pressure of six atmospheres? To make it more relatable, it’s about the same pressure required for truck tires, and if you’ve seen that sucker explode, you might have a fair idea of just how forceful the pop of a Champagne bottle cork is. Better not shake it and aim at your friend’s forehead!
Drinking wine can also affect a person’s mood. Most people feel relaxed and lethargic after drinking red wine. This is because different types of alcohol affect people’s moods differently. To help you get the picture, the Brazilian photographer Marcos Alberti captured how people felt after drinking 1, 2, and 3 glasses of wine.
Shuffling through the pages of wine’s history, it turns out that almost all wines from the Old World (meaning Europe) had once been described as having healing powers. From the reds of Friuli-Venezia Giulia to the whites of Cotes-du-Rhone, they all have seemed to have been medicinal at one time or another. Are they still, though? It is not for us to know!
Back to the Funny Wine Jokes
It’s time to return to our favorite wine puns! We have created a list of one-liner wine jokes and longer puns so that you get the best of both worlds. You can use these as clever wine Instagram captions to make your friends burst out laughing and retain your title as ‘funniest friend.’
So, pour yourself a glass of Shiraz or Chablis, prepare for the best jokes about wine, and enjoy yourself while reading these smart wordplays. After reading these puns, vote for the ones that leave you intoxicated with their wit, and share this article with your fermented grape juice-loving friends!
175 Grape Wine Puns
#1
You’re so vine, you probably think this pun is about you.
#2
All hell broke juice at the vineyard!
#3
Chardonnay or should I go now?
#4
Vino vidi vici!
#5
Happy hour? Wine not?
#6
I’m Bordeaux out of my mind.
#7
Yay or Caber-net?
#8
After drinking so much wine, I need a Napa!
#9
Will you accept this Rosé?
#10
Now you just wait a Prosecco-nd.
#11
I woke up feeling wine.
#12
I need this vacation to help me un-wine.
#13
You had me at Merlot.
#14
Yes way Rosé!
#15
It’s going to be a wine-derful day!
#16
Another glass? Wine not?
#17
I’ve got deja vu. I think I’ve vin here before.
#18
Happy Nouveau Years!
#19
Just a sip to help me un-wine.
#20
Great minds drink alike.
#21
Riesling and shine!
#22
How Merlot can you go?
#23
I’m on cloud wine.
#24
This wine is cellar.
#25
This wine is great beyond a raisin-able doubt.
#26
Vintner takes all.
#27
We’re in barrel of running out of wine!
#28
Let’s go Bacchus to the beginning.
#29
It’s a batch 22.
#30
I’m going to need a Napa after all this wine!
#31
Beyond any chateau of doubt.
#32
I need to give credit where credit is cru.
#33
You’ll be judged by a Jura of your peers.
#34
That’s a little Primitivo.
#35
You need to keep a merlot profile.
#36
Anything within riesling.
#37
I rosé all day.
#38
The future is rosé!
#39
I’m champagne at the bit to get drinking!
#40
Be flute-ful and multiply.
#41
You’ve got quite a vermouth on you!
#42
Get a grappa!
#43
Did you know there’s actual catbernet tho? It’s liquid catnip.
#44
The only pour decision we see here is that spilled wine.
#45
I fell and Abruzzo-ed my knee.
#46
Leave Britney a-Rhone.
#47
And they lived happily Eger after.
#48
Wine sips sink ships.
#49
It’s wine o’clock somewhere.
#50
You’re my only Riesling.
#51
It’s a grape day to be alive!
#52
You’re the wine that I want.
#53
Grape minds think alike.
#54
You’re wine in a million.
#55
Do I like wine? You bet Shiraz I do!
#56
Where there’s a wine, there’s a way.
#57
Partners in wine.
#58
Say you’ll be wine.
#59
Chardon-heyyyy!
#60
Stop wining!
#61
Can you read between the wines?
#62
Wine on Earth would you say that?
#63
Life is wine-derful.
#64
You’re my partner in wine.
#65
Vine not?
#66
This wine is di-vine!
#67
Sip sip, hooray!
#68
Wino? Wine-yes!
#69
Sometimes I make pour decisions.
#70
Come to drink of it, we’re going to need more wine.
#71
Wine or corktails?
#72
Dry and large, I don’t like sweet wine.
#73
I’ll make him an offer decant refuse.
#74
Are you feeling oak-ay?
#75
This wine really cask a spell on me.
#76
She’s a loose tannin.
#77
I took the road lees traveled.
#78
America’s must wanted.
#79
Must desserts.
#80
Sonoma wines, so little time!
#81
Good things will come to Paso.
#82
Caber-yay, we’re heading to Napa!
#83
All a-Bordeaux!
#84
That was er-Rhone-eous.
#85
Don’t be Amarone.
#86
There’s more wine in the Cabernet!
#87
I’m going to Zin you over.
#88
We needr to claret up.
#89
Shiraz to the occasion.
#90
To Pinot noir to be?
#91
Hakuna Moscato, what a wonderful phrase.
#92
White don’t we order more Chardonnay?
#93
For white it’s worth, I love wine!
#94
I need a blanc slate.
#95
In the blanc of an eye, the wine was gone.
#96
Be sure to stop and smell the rosés!
#97
Let’s rosé the roof!
#98
Don’t beat around the blush.
#99
Let’s get fizz-ical with some Champagne!
#100
No Champagne, no gain.
#101
I’ll cava what she’s having.
#102
I can see things Cristal clear.
#103
Moscatel you everything twice?
#104
Do you think so? Oloroso!
#105
Don’t worry, I’m an ex-port on dessert wine.
#106
If you drink enough, the cats start talking back to you.
#107
Don’t be Rueda!
#108
I decant even.
#109
We’ve Loire-d our standards.
#110
I got called in for Jura duty.
#111
I prefer wine to Bierzo.
#112
Meet the Cru.It’s just a small filtration. You don’t need to be jealous.
#113
With Grenache.
#114
But I’ve got a Blanc space baby.
#115
Ice, Ice Wine, Baby.
#116
Wine puns are never in pour taste.
#117
Feeling really grape!
#118
Forever making pour decisions.
#119
Back that glass up.
#120
All for wine, and wine for all.
#121
Sip back and relax.
#122
Let’s wine things down a bit.
#123
I don’t mean to wine.
#124
It’s a vine of the times.
#125
I like the viner things in life.
#126
Let’s drink some wine — it’s not good to keep things bottled up.
#127
No rhyme pour reason.
#128
Sorry I’m tipsy, alcohol you later.
#129
Get a grape!
#130
Living in vin.
#131
Vin and bear it!
#132
Cork it over!
#133
I’m ready, willing, and label.
#134
I’ll drink you under the label!
#135
Wine: it’s a cellar’s market.
#136
Don’t fruit the messenger, but I think we’re out of wine.
#137
Don’t take me for decanted.
#138
My sediments exactly.
#139
Now is the vintner of our discontent.
#140
Wining and fining.
#141
The first rule of flight club is you don’t talk about flight club.
#142
I’ve got a flighting chance.
#143
It’s a pressing in disguise.
#144
Bon aperitif!
#145
Wine is a swirl’s best friend.
#146
Livermore, worry less.
#147
Chablis or not Chablis?
#148
Soaved by the bell.
#149
He’s a little Lambrusco.
#150
Red my lips: we need more wine!
#151
Que Syrah, Syrah!
#152
You’ve got Malbec.
#153
Are you Syrah?
#154
It stands to riesling.
#155
Muscat your tongue?
#156
I’m feeling Tokaj.
#157
You’re one in semillon!
#158
Don’t flute the messenger.
#159
More Moet, more problems.
#160
Mumms the word.
#161
When things are Dom and dusted.
#162
Thank you sherry much.
#163
I’m feeling fino.
#164
It Sauternes me to say we’re out of wine.
#165
I ne-bermet a wine I didn’t like.
#166
Chateau-tally.
#167
A the vineyard there were some adorable cork-is.
#168
About to make some pour decisions.
#169
Whatever floats your Haut.
#170
She earned her Medoc-torate.
#171
Sonoma-lly I don’t drink this much!
#172
Don’t press me.
#173
He’s a domestic terroir-ist.
#174
Varietal is the spice of life.
#175
Thin the vinyard.
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