Every single person has insecurities or things they’d probably like to change about themselves, which can be solved by self-acceptance, hard work, or even cosmetic procedures. The only problem is that once you go down the route of plastic surgery, it might be hard to stop getting work done.
This is what a man realized after his wife of twenty years underwent multiple cosmetic surgeries, which made him lose his attraction to her. She also realized something was wrong and issued an ultimatum, which left him even more confused.
More info: Reddit
Even though marriages are meant to weather good times and bad times, there might be bumps in the road that are tougher to deal with
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that he has always been attracted to his wife of twenty years, but after she started getting cosmetic procedures, something changed
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Within five years, the poster’s wife got botox, lip fillers, a nose job, cheek fillers, and chest augmentation surgery all of which completely changed her look
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Since the man lost his attraction, he kept asking his wife why she felt the need to undergo so many surgeries, and she stated that it made her feel better
Image credits: ThrowRA_notattract
Unfortunately, the poster’s wife must have noticed something was wrong and told him that if he didn’t become more intimate with her, she’d open their relationship
After two decades of being together, the OP started getting concerned because he wasn’t as attracted to his wife anymore. The reason for this wasn’t her age or natural physical changes, but the fact that she had undergone multiple cosmetic procedures that had drastically altered her look.
It’s definitely becoming more common for people to get plastic surgery, and many folks do it so that they can feel better about themselves and boost their confidence. Medical experts state that this kind of elective cosmetic work can also reduce peoples’ discontent about physical features that they always wished to change.
Even though it might make the patient happy, the alteration to their physical features may be tough for their loved ones to handle. This is exactly what the OP felt because he could no longer recognize his wife’s smile or her face after the amount of work she had done. He also couldn’t say anything about it to her because she felt so much better due to the plastic surgery.
This kind of change in one’s relationship dynamics can definitely happen due to cosmetic procedures and professionals state that this mainly occurs when one partner has a significant transformation. Sometimes, the other person might also feel jealous, insecure, or even inasequate after seeing how much their loved one has changed.
Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even though the man had asked his wife several times why she felt like she needed to alter her appearance this much, she mentioned that it made her feel much more content. That’s why he also felt stuck and didn’t want to broach his loss of attraction, because he knew it would probably dampen her joy.
It might be difficult to talk about something like this, but psychologists explain that only through honest communication can a couple work through challenges in their relationship. It’s important not to put the blame on the other person, and simply focus on your feelings so that they can understand how their actions are affecting you.
Since the poster and his wife had clearly not communicated enough, she began to notice his lack of intimacy and felt bad about it. That’s why she issued an ultimatum about opening their relationship within a month, if he didn’t change his behavior. This put him in a difficult position because he felt that he couldn’t just manufacture attraction for her out of thin air.
In long term relationships like this, it’s common for people to fall in and out of love with their partner, but they should never stop putting in the work to keep their connection alive. Hopefully the OP and his wife are able to sit down and have an honest chat so they can fix this roadblock in their marriage.
What advice do you have for the poster, and do you think he can get over this loss of attraction? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
Folks were divided on the issue, with some feeling that the poster should be honest about his feelings, and others believing his relationship wouldn’t survive
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