I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

I have always been an ‘artist’, I just didn’t realize what that meant until my mental illness appeared. I despise the term ‘mentally ill’; it implies that who I am as a person is fundamentally corrupted and broken.

Unfortunately, as soon as I tell people what I struggle with, I feel like that’s all they see me as. They see the stigma perpetuated by the media, and the inaccurate stereotypes portrayed in Hollywood. That is precisely why I am so open about what I live with.

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My name is Kate and I’m an 18-year-old artist with schizophrenia

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

I’ve been ‘diagnosed’ with multiple labels over the years. At the age of 17 I finally was diagnosed with schizophrenia after my parents realized my mental health was getting worse

I draw a lot of my hallucinations as drawing helps me deal with it

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

In my hallucinations I hear voices, sound effects, random noises, and I often see bugs, faces, and disembodied eyes

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

Inanimate objects will look like a Van Gogh painting: warped and swirly.

I hallucinate bugs quite often, and my depression makes me feel worthless like a fly. These bug illustrations represent my illness

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

This is a quote by an artist named Jory, and it was something that spoke to me.

This one crawls out of the vent in my ceiling and makes clicking noises, or I’ll see it crawl out from underneath things

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

This is a self-portrait. I looked in the mirror and my eyes did this thing. I painted it

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

I have a lot of intense emotions, and hear voices telling me to light things on fire

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

Here is an example of the disembodied eyes I see. They surface in a mounds or masses on my walls or floors. They warp and move.

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

This is Birdie, she sings to me

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

My self esteem is at its lowest, and I feel insignificant. I always wish I could shapeshift into a “prettier” person

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

What eyes sometimes look like, with more of those odd colors and circles

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

Organization, communication, paranoia, depression, anxiety, and managing my emotions are the biggest struggles for me

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

What I live with isn’t easy and it can be debilitating, but I’m not living out on the streets screaming about alien abductions. That’s not to say there aren’t people out there who are that severe – there are. However, there are also people like me who just stay at home most of the time cooped up in their room. It is a spectrum of symptoms with varying severity levels. Each person’s experience is unique.