Most of us have had times in love when we questioned our own choices. Maybe we missed a clear warning sign, tried too hard to please someone, or accepted things we wouldn’t put up with now. Back then, it felt right, but thinking about it now can be a bit embarrassing.
Recently, Threads user gaabrielaa.g asked women to share the most embarrassing things they had done for a man that they can now laugh about. The question led to stories about questionable sacrifices, misplaced trust, and going much further in relationships than anyone should have to.
From taking long bus rides to do a boyfriend a favor to playing wife for 12 years without a ring, these confessions show just how far people sometimes go for love. Here are some of the most memorable responses, including a few experiences their authors aren’t quite ready to laugh about yet
#1
I drove the woman he cheated on me with and their new baby to the prison to see him when he got locked up.
Image source: malikahustle, dusanpetkovic (not the actual photo)
#2
I went to his place by bus for 45 minutes to pick him up with HIS CAR to drive back to my place for 12 minutes, because he was too lazy to drive.
Image source: grg_klssn, pvproductions (not the actual photo)
Sometimes, an unhealthy relationship doesn’t look problematic from the beginning. You can be in a most toxic relationship without knowing about it. Over time, one partner could start making more decisions, checking the other’s phone, questioning their friendships, or making them feel guilty for spending time apart.
These actions can slowly become normal before anyone notices something is wrong. Warning signs of an unhealthy relationship include control, dishonesty, disrespect, and hostility.
For instance, a partner might often criticize, expect instant replies to messages, or argue about minor issues. Eventually, the other person might change how they act just to avoid more arguments.
#3
My ex choked me while we were fighting and lowkey I was starting to see stars like i was abt to pass away. He started crying because he felt bad for choking me??? I comforted him to sleep.
Image source: eveeo_0, drobotdean (not the actual photo)
#4
Threw him a surprise 30th birthday party. Went all out on the customized decor. I’m talkin childhood photos, his birth year, “30” on every available surface. About 30 people came, including all his best friends.
A year and a half later we broke up and I found out he’d lied to me about a lot, including his age. Come to find out, he wasn’t even 30 yet.
All of his friends knew. Every last one of them watched me tape and pin lies to the wall and said nothing.
Image source: makeupbygeena, vgstockstudio (not the actual photo)
Another sign is when someone feels anxious, alone, or thinks it’s their job to keep the peace. They might stop sharing their needs and instead watch what they say to avoid upsetting their partner. Noticing these changes can help someone realize that what feels normal might actually be unhealthy.
Even when people notice something troubling about a partner, they don’t always take it seriously. A strong first impression can shape how they see the relationship for a long time, making someone ignore the subsequent red flags. If they start out thinking their partner is kind, caring, and trustworthy, it can be hard to accept behavior that doesn’t fit that image.
#5
I bought him a phone AND paid for the line just for him to lose it the next day Then I let him use my phone. This absolute dimwit CALLED ANOTHER WOMAN ON MY PHONE AND I SNAPPED.
Image source: just.a.chonk.hellhound, Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
#6
Sang dangerously in love on the phone with all my heart just for him to have had me on speaker and his whole family started laughing.
Image source: kort_1, Moises Alex (not the actual photo)
Confirmation bias can make things even harder. Someone who wants the relationship to work might focus on their partner’s thoughtful gestures and ignore repeated lies, selfish choices, or broken promises. They might also ask friends for reassurance that everything is fine, instead of thinking about whether their concerns are valid.
Believing that people can change also affects how someone reacts. A person might excuse repeated dishonesty if their partner promises to improve, or put up with hurtful behavior because they think patience and love will fix things. But a relationship shouldn’t rely on one person always trying to fix the other’s behavior.
#7
For his birthday, I bought him a round trip flight to go visit his sister who was having a baby. For my birthday he bought me an Angry Bird plushie. And not even the main red jawn. He got me the little b***h blue one.
Also he was 16 years older than me.
Image source: charity_corin, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#8
I spent $1,500 on a Motorcycle he fell off it and left it in the side of the road, bought another one for 1,500 he gave it away for free. I bought a car for I’m for $2,500 HE SOLD IT FOR $800. I and ts funny now because WHY TF I KEPT GOING.
Image source: janaydadoll_, Nathan Dumlao (not the actual photo)
#9
I’m a gay man, but after my mom d**d I had quite a bit of money, the married man I had been seeing for 3+years, that said he loved me mind you… I offered him to give his wife $50,000.00 to leave her and run away with me and be happy… I’m so shamed, he asked me was I stupid?!
Image source: richiebornrich, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Recognizing an unhealthy pattern is an important first step to break the cycle, but changing the situation can take more than simply deciding to leave. It can be hard to accept that someone you care about is hurting you, especially if they apologize later or say the problem isn’t that serious.
A helpful step is to notice any changes in yourself. If you start avoiding friends, pulling away from family, having trouble sleeping, or always worrying about your partner’s reactions, it might be time to take a closer look at your relationship. These changes can show just how much it’s affecting your daily life.
#10
He made me go to therapy to “learn how to be okay with him cheating on me”because he wasn’t going to stop. I learned how to break up with him instead, so it was a net win.
Image source: zephyrlestrange, Kateryna Hliznitsova (not the actual photo)
#11
My ex hit me and his watch sliced me across my eyebrows. Cops were banging on the garage, I had blood in my eyes, I could not see. I said to him “omg you really hurt me this time, GO” and let him escape through the back door.
Image source: chrissyxcee, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#12
Got pregnant…TWICE. He’s gone on to glory now and I love my girls. The irony is he’s no longer a deadbeat now that he’s actually dead. Yall, I was in a dark place but it all worked out.
Image source: chellaj12, Brooke Cagle (not the actual photo)
Reaching out for support can really help. Talking with a trusted friend, counselor, or specialist can make it easier to see harmful behavior and think about your choices. If there is abuse or threats, it’s important to plan for safety and get professional help instead of leaving suddenly.
Given enough time and space, it gets easier to talk about embarrassing choices. For example, someone who once felt embarrassed about taking a long bus ride to help an unmotivated boyfriend might later share the story as a funny example of how far they went to please someone.
#13
Be his wife. A f*****g joke.
Image source: rachelle_rachelle888, Wedding Dreamz (not the actual photo)
#14
Thought he liked me cause he acted like he liked me.
Image source: _theasteroid, Drazen Zigic (not the actual photo)
#15
Was buying him food ALL the time AND furnished his apartment because he was a broke a*s law student. Covid hit and we quarantined together. Accidentally got pregnant and decided we weren’t compatible. I never asked for money besides half of childcare. That’s it. No food clothes or medical expenses. I laugh now because he’s an attorney and somehow thought putting himself on child support would be cheaper. Court ordered him to pay SIX times the amount he used to give.
Image source: trashley.19, gpointstudio (not the actual photo)
Laughing at mistakes, looking back with humor, can also affect how others see us. People usually think someone who can laugh at their own small slip-ups seems warmer, more capable, and more genuine than someone who gets very embarrassed. Humor can make awkward moments easier for everyone, even if those small slip-ups aren’t so small at all.
Still, not every painful experience turns into something funny over time, and no one has to act like it does. Some choices have consequences that take longer to work through. But when people are ready to share those stories, they can finally see how much their understanding of relationships, and of themselves, has changed.
Have you ever done something embarrassing for love that you can finally laugh about today? Share your stories and thoughts in the comments, and please, no shaming others!
#16
Put a man through law school only for him to graduate and after the divorce – sue me.
Image source: meganmarie917, prostooleh (not the actual photo)
#17
I drove 9 hours to see him… crashed and totaled my car at hour 7, then paid $200 Lyft for the remaining 2.
He rented a car for me to get back home, and he expected the money back.
I paid him back.
Image source: bittahdspecialist, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#18
Paid for him to have a massage every month, because chronic pain. And every month I was like, how was it? And every month he would have something to say about how it wasn’t quite right. One month I had a headache that would not go away, booked myself with her. When I tell you this woman is ON POINT. Stopped paying for him, started paying for MY OWN massage with her every month. Still her client, and now her friend, 9 years later. Huge part of my trauma healing journey!
Image source: goddesshuckaby, dragonimages (not the actual photo)
#19
Being straight and liking men is the most embarrassing thing about me.
Image source: annie.k1920, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#20
Made him feel like it was okay to wear my Victoria secret sets.
Image source: ashlynnprindle, Castorly Stock (not the actual photo)
#21
one time i watched a situationship’s dog while he went on vacation with a girl. honestly the weakest s**t i’ve ever done.
Image source: menziekinks, Samson Katt (not the actual photo)
#22
He took me to the Magic Castle and I got called on by a magician to be hypnotized. I pretended it worked like a real psychopath, then had to lie about it for years bc he told everyone about it.
Image source: avivayael, Roberta Sant’Anna (not the actual photo)
#23
Helped him pay for his mama’s funeral. He then yelled at me not to come.
Image source: misspcutie, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#24
I went to eleven Phish shows in a year. ELEVEN. Love was a d**g more powerful than what I took to survive eleven nights of bad stepdad jazz.
Image source: cabarrett, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#25
Girl, I put my entire life on pause trying to prove to a man that I was worth choosing. Forgave things I should’ve walked away from, cried over things I should’ve laughed at, played detective when I should’ve been planning my exit, and accepted apologies that didn’t come with changed behavior. I was out here auditioning for a role I already had. BABYYYY, never again. The embarrassment wasn’t even loving him that hard; it was forgetting to love ME just as hard.
Image source: god_blossom_princess, https://kaboompics.com/ (not the actual photo)
#26
one day me and my fwb of 3 years after school got food, smoked, & talked like we always did but this day he cut it short and asked me to take him somewhere, when we pulled up i saw one of our classmates outside waiting for him all dressed up, i was like what yall finna do? HE SAID THEY WAS GOING ON A DATE! before he got out i locked the doors and dropped him back off at school.
Image source: jpgmeex3, SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
#27
I took him back after he strangled me halfway to d***h, among many other heinous acts of violence. My redemption arc being that his b***h a*s is in prison for 8-10 now and I put him there.
Image source: taryn.melissa, prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
#28
Marry him and not go to law school to “wait on him.” But no worries I’m divorced now and in law school.
Image source: ms_yukai, magnific (not the actual photo)
#29
He moved into my apartment while I paid the rent on his place *in another state* till his lease was up.
Image source: bonstarr, magnific (not the actual photo)
#30
One time I bought my ex an outfit and dinner for MY birthday dinner. I slipped him a couple hundred dollars under the table to pay for it so that my friends didn’t know he couldn’t afford it… whole time this man had a secret f****n life and when I called him out on it, he told me he was going for a walk to clear his head and he never came back, next day he was driving his now wife’s G wagon.
But karma is a b***h cause I saw him a couple years after, dusty asf lol.
Image source: nessie_blaze, KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA (not the actual photo)
#31
Put my credit on the line for a situationship to buy a car for him. He was old enough to be my dad and I was 25 at the time, and he was bald. (pipe game had me folded at the time, okay?
Safe to say I chased him down the highway, cut him off, made him wreck said car into a metal barrier to total it.
He survived so all was fine. Never again.
Image source: liz_warner9295
#32
Bought him the shoes he used to walk out of my life.
Image source: caramelandbutterflies
#33
Sent him a “send this to your crush” meme and he asked if I sent it to the wrong person.
Image source: melanatedwisegirl
#34
I begged him to go to therapy and he wouldn’t so I deada*s made us do mandatory weekly therapy where I WAS HIS THERAPIST because that was the only way he would talk to me about his feelings. And yes I printed worksheets out and EVERYTHING.
Image source: riley.elsbury
#35
This is why I vowed no matter what I lose in life or have to go through to become a great man who love women more than myself. I seen what my father put my mother through, and I saw how she put up with him and the other men. Women have more grace and mercy. And this thread proves it. May peace find every woman.
Image source: peaceofcarmine
#36
I went to get my then husband’s pregnant mistress out of the hot car he left her in, and invited her into my son’s birthday party so she could get some cool air.
That wasn’t even for him, it was for her cause she was at least 8 months in the d**d of the summer.
But it was embarrassing as hell to share the lore behind that toxic a*s marriage.
Image source: theniasade
#37
I bought myself a new phone so I could give him my old on. Walked out of the store and shattered the screen so I kept the shattered one and gave him a brand new phone. I’m not going to give any more context because it actually gets even more embarrassing and my friends are on this app.
Image source: storebrandanna
#38
In college, I rode my bike 3 miles to his place at midnight because he wanted me to come over but didn’t want to pick me up (he had a car, I didn’t).
Image source: thesevenstevens
#39
Everything I’ve ever done for a man is embarrassing because now I’m a lesbian.
Image source: ferociousfrills
#40
I was working three jobs to keep us afloat while he was unemployed at home…he cheated on me in that home and dressed up for men in my latex saying he did it because he “needed attention” and I let him stay anyway because he had no where to go …. Never ever ever ever again idk w*f was wrong with me.
Image source: alexxisvanity
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