A lasting romantic relationship is all about compromise, and even more so when it’s between people from different cultures.
They need to find ways to understand each other’s backgrounds and embrace a multitude of traditions, some of which can even seem contradictory.
It can be quite a challenge. For example, a new US resident, who goes on Reddit by the nickname Any_Yogurtcloset_601, said that she and her American boyfriend managed to make it work at first, but when they agreed to get married, something as seemingly simple as a wedding band started dividing them.
Continue scrolling to read her post on the subreddit ‘Two Hot Takes’ that sheds light on the complexities of intercultural relationships.
This woman moved to the US five years ago, and she soon met an American guy to whom she eventually got engaged
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
But now she’s considering breaking up with him because she feels that he’s embarrassed to be part of her culture
Image credits: Hanna Auramenka (not the actual photo)
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Any_Yogurtcloset_601
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Intercultural relationship conflicts similar to this one often get resolved
In the years that she’s been practicing, psychologist Lubna Somjee has worked with couples around similar issues.
“I’ve definitely seen some classic cultural clashes, although many times people have been able to sort of work through them,” Somjee says.
“One of the classic issues is when neither parties have, sort of, prepped themselves for what to expect when they meet the parents. They think they have, but they really haven’t – although most of the time those meetings have gone fairly well in spite of.”
Eventually, it often boils down to how badly people want to be with each other.
“Most of the couples I see do stay together, but I would not say that it was very rare that some couples would break up,” Somjee explains.
“For example, a young couple I worked with had an interracial union and met each other’s families. And it wasn’t until they met each other’s families that it sort of punctuated for them how different their backgrounds were. And they [came] home and for the first time had a much more serious, in-depth discussion of how their culture impacts their everyday life and realized how different their views were on a lot of things. And unfortunately for that couple, those differences were irreconcilable.”
Maybe this conflict was the first time that Any_Yogurtcloset_601 and her partner actually understood their differences, too?
In a way, the general public is rooting for them. As intermarriage grows more prevalent in the United States, the public has become more accepting of it. A 2017 Pew Research Center survey found that roughly four in ten adults (39%) say that people of different races marrying each other is good for society (up significantly from 24% in 2010). Similarly, the share saying this trend is a bad thing for society is down to 9% (from 13% in 2010). And the share saying it doesn’t make much of a difference for society is also down to 52% (from 61%).
As her story went viral, the woman provided more information in the comments section
People started reacting to her post and sharing their opinions about her relationship
Follow Us
