Marriages are tested in many ways. For Reddit user Pale_Raisin_9016, the biggest issue wasn’t about money, chores, or children—it was about feeling unwanted.
Despite years of effort to reconnect with his wife, their physical intimacy had disappeared. Yet, she continued to flirt and tease, leaving him confused and frustrated.
So when their anniversary came, he decided to try one last time, holding onto the hope that things might finally change.
This husband wanted to end the dry spell he had been having with his wife
Image credits: Media_photos/Envato (not the actual photo)
But supposedly, the more he tried, the less she was interested
Image credits: westend61/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Pale_Raisin_9016
Quickly after sharing his story, the man posted an update on the situation
Image credits: Pale_Raisin_9016
Couples with different romantic preferences can still maintain strong relationships
Image credits: Toa Heftiba/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Dr. Jennifer Litner, sexologist and founder of Embrace Sexual Wellness—a Chicago-based center for sex therapy and education that accepts clients for both in-person and telehealth appointments—believes people with mismatched drives can form and maintain deep committed relationships.
“If each person can be transparent about the significance of sex and they are each willing to find mutually agreed upon and pleasurable ways to stay connected, having differing sex drives is 100% navigable for partners,” she told Bored Panda.
A 2017 study discovered that the average adult enjoys sex 54 times a year, which equates to about once a week. This is less acts, by about nine per year, compared to a similar study done in the 1990s. Interestingly, another study that surveyed over 30,000 Americans over 40 years found that a once-weekly frequency was the golden standard for happiness—couples who had sex more than once a week didn’t report being any happier, and those who had less reported feeling less fulfilled.
Image credits: DANNY G/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, it’s important to remember that occasional declines in intimacy are normal and can have a number of reasons.
“Desire discrepancy is the most common reason couples seek out care from a sex therapist and it’s very common in relationships,” Dr. Litner said. “Usually, life stressors, mental health, relationship quality, hormonal, and medical factors play a role in changing sexual desire.”
But, again, there are effective ways to tackle these challenges.
“Couples often need to work through the obstacles that led to the disconnection (e.g., emotional barriers, conflict, decreased trust, etc.) and intentionally spend quality time engaging in pleasurable activities that foster intimacy,” Dr. Litner explained. “Sometimes this looks like having regular pleasure dates or working through things with a sex therapist.”
Most of those who read what happened felt sorry for him
Some of the takes were pretty controversial
But some thought he may have rushed the divorce
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