On the May 2 episode of The Middle, Whoopi Goldberg guest starred as Sue’s high school guidance counselor. Earlier in the week, Whoopi Goldberg was on the latest episode of Glee, portraying a character that couldn’t be more opposite than the Sue Heck clone she created on The Middle.
Sue missed out on having her picture in the yearbook again. Nobody knew the Wrestlerettes even existed, and she missed her individual picture too. When she complains about this to the yearbook adviser, she is brushed off and is told she should talk to the guidance counselor. Sue didn’t know there was one, but is thrilled to learn about this service.
The guidance counselor is just like Sue. She is shocked that anyone even came to see her, and she immediately wants to make use of the variety of pamphlets she has available (mostly for eating disorders). She listens to Sue’s troubles about not being in the yearbook, losing her boyfriend and being sad about the end of the wrestling season. The counselor tells Sue, “You just gotta hang in there, baby.” It’s a phrase from a motivational poster that they both own. Some more generic advice is given, like don’t let your past define you, and you can choose who you want to be tomorrow. Sue writes all of it down, and leaves with some positive affirmation stickers.
At home, Frankie has decided that they need a new bed, but despite the gigantic sink hole in the middle of it, Mike hates change and doesn’t want to spend the money. Frankie explains to him, “People in crack dens are lying on nicer mattresses.” Mike says they just need to flip it–but when he does, he asks if there’s a third side. Frankie gets her way and they go bed shopping, where she tells the sales rep about Mike’s nightly bathroom habits and his hatred of change; Mike can’t stand that she tells people everything. They get a nice new bed, complete with a headboard that has shelves–Mike doesn’t understand it.
It’s Brick’s most dreaded week of the year: the Presidential fitness challenge. He hates doing it, and doesn’t want people to laugh at him. After school one night, he decides to call the President in an attempt to get out of it–the constitution does not demand push-ups. After a while on hold, he gets transferred to the Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (whisper: “tobacco”).
Sue’s guidance counselor has given her the confidence to determine who she wants to be tomorrow–and who she wants to be is a new version of herself named Sookie. She is changing her name and many of her normal characteristics: Sookie is right handed, Sookie parts her hair on the side, Sookie always has a pen behind her ear, and most importantly, Sookie doesn’t sweat the small stuff. Frankie agrees to the change, telling Mike it’s a phase, and Axl loves it because he can call her things like “pukey.” Axl also thinks that, to be fair, they should all go by new names: “Hey, so, if Sue gets a new name I think we all should. So, from now on I want to be called Rock Star. Mom can be Blah Blah Blah. And dad can be–dad.” (Brick was still on the phone holding for the President.)
Frankie can’t wait to get to her new bedroom “sanctuary.” But the bed has to be build first. Two days later, it’s still not finished and Mike refuses to call the help line. Frankie calls against his will, but the wait time is six hours and 52 minutes. Eventually, she calls again and they get it built, but there’s a part on the floor that they missed. They start over. When it’s finally finished, they realize the shelves at the head of the bed are not comfortable. Frankie’s head is in a box, but she refuses to admit that it’s bad. This sends Frankie and Mike into a huge argument which culminates in Mike referring to her as “Pat,” her mom.
Unfortunately for Sue, but fortunately for the world, Sookie is still Sue. One of her teachers goes along with the name change–or never realized Sue was in her class to begin with–and insists that Sue is a foreign exchange student. The cheerleaders think that her new name is a disease, and that rumor spreads all the way to a school-wide announcement, warning everyone to wash their hands and not share food. Sue ends up back at the guidance counselor, who tells Sue that “high school’s just not designed for unique people.” Knowing how much Sue cares about being in the yearbook, the counselor goes on a mission to make it happen. Walking into the staff lounge, the counselor is as unknown to her peers as Sue is to hers. Despite being employed there for many years and bringing them treats every week, she is invisible. It’s time for her to demand respect, and that’s what she does before remembering that they were on a mission for Sue. When the yearbook adviser insists that the yearbook has gone to press, the counselor demands, “Then unpress it.”
In the end, Sue gets her own page in the yearbook: the memorial page. “Sue Heck. Gone too soon.” Of course, Sue is thrilled, despite the morbid error. Brick decides that he’ll be the one to crack the first jokes about his lack of athletic skill, thus avoiding the problem of people making fun of him: the fitness challenge goes on, unconstitutional or not. Frankie and Mike decide to keep the new mattress and give the head board to Axl, who uses it as a footrest.
Anyone else notice the blatant Subway product placement? It brought back fond memories of Chuck and the support Subway provided it. I was happy to see them find another home, even if only for one episode.
What did you think of “The Guidance Counselor”? Watch The Middle, Wednesdays at 8/7c on ABC.
Follow Us
