It’s kind of obvious that Mario and Wario would act very differently on Tinder. The six ways described start out with this one above, as Mario is at the very least honest about his appearance and doesn’t try to make himself out to be something he’s not. He’s a bit pudgy, not a model, and honestly kind of on the older side, but at least he tells people how it is unlike Wario. Imagine the disappointment of a potential date when she shows up and finds a rotund evil plumber type where she was expecting a fully-stacked and well built man’s man. Oh that Wario.
Wario is like an open dare to people to try and get close to him. The sad part is that this might actually work on some women either because they think they could change him or because they just enjoy the challenge or the abuse in some strange, twisted way. It might be the era of female empowerment but one thing that doesn’t seem to change is that women sometimes gravitate towards men that are straight up jerks for some odd and unknowable reason.
I hate to be the one to tell Mario but being chaste and respectful is all well and good and can get a guy far in the dating game. But it would seem that there’s a fine line between a guy that wants to be sensitive and a guy that wants to see how far he can take things until the woman says no. Wario would be the one pushing that line continually and possibly crossing it way too often.
This is like old fashioned vs. worst date ever. For one, how many people do you ever see just talking without their phones in sight these days? Some people are actually chatting with each other on the phone while they’re sitting next to each other. Of course if Wario really did this on a date I expect the next picture would be of his big-nosed mug getting rocked to the side by a woman that strongly objects to his brand of dinner conversation.
Call me cynical but Mario’s message is just a little too cutesy while Wario’s is downright criminal. You call in a bomb threat these days you’d better be running the moment after because cops are liable to be called and out hunting you down the moment the call goes through.
So Mario only swipes right if he finds someone he matches up with, right? Just how down to the detail is Tinder? I can imagine wanting to go out with someone that you have an interest in due to similarities that you can find, but I would expect absolute silence on Wario’s account. Seriously, unless there’s someone out there just as gross and crude as Wario I see him having a lot of disappointed dates or lonely nights, or both.
After this I kind of wonder what Luigi would be like. Would he manage to get any play on Tinder?
Comic via Dorkly
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