Working from home is still working. You have your responsibilities, and you need to deliver, whether you go into the office or remain in your living room in your pajamas.
So whenever Reddit user Last_Home_6544‘s sister asks her to look after her kids, the woman says no—they’re just too much for her to handle.
But recently, there was an emergency. Her 4-year-old nephew got suspended from preschool, leaving her sibling with no other option but to plead with her to make an exception.
This woman has never watched her sister’s kids because they’re too high-maintenance for her
Image credits: bearfotos / Freepik (not the actual photo)
And after she refused the last time, things got heated between the two of them
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Last_Home_6544
Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum says parenting was never meant to be a one-person effort
Image credits: Dreamy Fox Photography
Vicki Broadbent is the founder of the family blog Honest Mum and a multi-award-winning TV broadcaster and author of The Working Mom: Your Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and at Home.
She told Bored Panda, “It takes a village to raise a child, and that village is even more critical when one parent is essentially doing two parents’ jobs.”
“It’s not unreasonable for a single mom or any mom or dad to reach out to their family members for help with their children, provided those they are asking are able and willing to help and are suitable, e.g., have experience around children and are to be trusted, “Broadbent explained.
“Being a mother and the default/only parent is exhausting mentally and physically, so it’s important to rest where possible so you are able to show up as your best self. Parenting was never originally meant to happen in this way; relatives or close friends and neighbours were always meant to support and help raise younger children, as they so often do in the animal world.”
The woman’s concern about her job is understandable
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
There’s a good reason why remote workers keep emphasizing that they can’t just run errands whenever someone asks them to.
Workers logging on from home five days a week were 35% more likely to be laid off in 2023 than their peers who put in office time, according to an analysis of two million white-collar workers conducted by employment data provider Live Data Technologies.
The data showed 10% of fully remote workers were laid off that year, compared with 7% of those working in an office full time or on a hybrid basis.
“When a hiring manager gets news they have to cut 10% of the staff, it’s easier to put someone on the list you don’t have a close personal relationship with,” said Andy Challenger, senior vice president at Challenger, Gray & Christmas, an outplacement firm. Much of the disparity, according to him, is that it’s simply harder to build attachments to people you don’t see face-to-face.
However, who are single parents to ask for help if not their family?
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
The Harris Poll found that over a third of working parents who rely on unpaid childcare (35%) say this allows them to have increased flexibility in work schedules.
4 in 5 working parents who rely on grandmothers for childcare say the care they provide allows them to pursue their career goals.
When asked what impact that lack of access to unpaid childcare would have on their work situations, parents mention needing special accommodations at work (33%), not being able to manage their current workload (28%), and that their quality of work would suffer (27%).
Additionally, 1 in 5 working parents who rely on unpaid childcare say they would have to quit their jobs without this support.
Life is messy. Stuff happens. And if a single mom with three kids can’t get anyone from her family to help her, where else is she supposed to go?
“I think if you don’t have a village, it is worth saving to pay for additional help where possible, or at least if you require urgent or emergency care, such as hiring babysitters or paying for breakfast and after-school clubs,” Vicki Broadbent added. “If this doesn’t work, consider building your own village with close friends in a similar situation to you.”
Vicki, who is a mom of three herself, has lived many hours from family and knows this situation well. “We built a close network of friends close to us, and we all supported one another with shared school runs and childcare plus emergency care,” she said.
“There will always be other parents whom you can help in return, building your own community, if you are unable to find that in your own family.”
Many people believe it was okay for the woman to refuse
And some even shared their own similar stories
But others believe she should have been more empathetic
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