From time to time, we all eavesdrop on conversations not intended for our ears. Whether it’s on public transport, in a shady bar, or at a coffee shop, our curiosity gets the better of us. Sometimes we can’t help it, and other times we might deliberately try to listen in on what a stranger has to say.
However, once you hear something, it can’t be unheard. So when someone asked, “What is the creepiest thing you’ve overheard?” on r/AskReddit, replies started pouring in. From weirdly disturbing to painfully ridiculous, these stories show how people forget to read the room before loudly oversharing their thoughts.
Bored Panda has collected some of the best interactions from this thread, so continue scrolling and upvote the ones that surprised you the most. And if you’re in the mood for some more bizarre things people overheard in public, make sure to check out our previous posts about it right here, here, and here.
#1
I speak a small amount of russian. Not enough to get me through a conversation but after watching a bunch of videos and trying to learn the language, I can understand a fair amount more than I can speak.
I was in Toronto walking down the road and there were two guys, Russian, sitting and talking in Russian at a table. I overheard 4 words. Dead, Body, murder, and what was essentially dispose. I turned pale and got the f**k out of there.
Image source: [deleted], Misael Garcia
#2
I heard a dude grunting in the stall next to me trying to poop but they were clearly phantom poops.
Although, every time he farted he broke out into a hysterical laughter and would then return to grunting.
The grunting got louder and louder until he just let out this epic GRUNT. Seriously, I thought he was s***ting a boulder. I think the whole Student Union heard him.
Anyway, after the huge grunt I heard the smallest “plop” and all hell broke loose.
He was cheering at this victory by banging on the side of the stall. Screaming with happiness. Between his screaming laughter he would yell, “F**k you poop! You can’t control me!”
I think he forgot to wipe and wash his hands because then he just walked out.
I still wonder if I should try to be more proud of the poops I take.
Image source: [deleted], Ondosan Sinaga
#3
I use to work at a Honda factory in Alabama and they get a lot of workers in from temp agencies, so you tend to get a lot of weird ones. As I’m walking back from my lunch break, I pass two guys and accidentally overhear, “I just want to impregnate the first thing I see.” My only thoughts were, “Don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact.”
Image source: ahylianhero, August de Richelieu
#4
The following stories were featured on another topic similar in nature (which I later featured on my blog)…
Four or five years ago, a friend of mine and I decided to stop at a Steak ‘N Shake after competing in an intense 10K for inline speed skating. You know… load up on carbs, calories, and grease to relax after a hard morning. After receiving our food and starting to enjoy our food, we both heard the following conversation take place:
Man: I wish we had more time… you know… really enjoy the foreplay instead of jumping right to it.
Woman: I know, baby. My husband gets home early and we can’t afford getting caught.
Man: Why don’t you just leave him already? You know damn well you don’t love him anymore. You know I can provide you with everything he does and then some.
Woman: But the kids…
Man: Consider their college paid for. In cash. You know I can do it.
Woman: I love you.
Man: Then come be with me.
Woman: Next week, okay?
They then kissed each other passionately (read: make out with slobbery tongue action) and left.
ಠ_ಠ
Okay… not so creepy, but still disturbing. Another gem of a story that made me REALLY uncomfortable…
About two years ago, I had traveled out of town to go visit a jobsite my company was contracted for and wanted to enjoy a nice treat: Steak ‘N Shake. (See… we don’t have any around where I live and the closest one is at least 70 miles away; If I’m near one, I enjoy the hell out of it.) Again… I had just ordered my food and I suddenly begin overhearing the conversation taking place behind me. The voices sounded older… late 50′s, maybe early 60′s.
Man 1: Oh! I forgot to tell you I talked to Jenny [not exact name] the other day!
Man 2: Sweet! How’s she doing? How’s her daughter?
Man 1: She’s great, man. Her daughter is as beautiful as ever.
Man 2: Good deal. I remember her daughter used to be SMOKING hot. I wish I could [censored, for the sake of my sanity] before the school boys get to it!
Man 1: Oh, you and me both!
Man 2: How old is she now?
Man 1: She just turned 13.
…
What in the royal horse f**k did I just hear?
Image source: SPDSKTR
#5
I overheard someone in a bathroom talking to themselves in Yoda’s voice saying “mmm tough this one is, use the force I must”.
8 years ago, still creeps me out
Image source: rodgeramjit
#6
I was in a PATH train car with about 10 or 11 businesswomen. All middle aged. All looking pretty damn professional. 8 or 9 of them looked pretty damn sexy(if I do say so myself)
They were going on about how to trick men into getting them pregnant. Not even to trap them in a relationship. They just had the baby rabies.
Like they left a convention or something.
I made eye contact with another dude on the train. I’m pretty sure we were thinking the same damn thing.
Image source: [deleted], wikipedia
#7
Not creepy, but more funny. I was in Applebees when this dude and his date/gf sit down at the table next to us. They launch into boring conversation about how shampoo is the governments way of controlling our minds. Then gf shouts “No way!” Everyone turns and looks and she blushes and lowers her voice. I, of course, listened.
“You…you’re not really Jesus…are you?”
Dude smirked and nodded, and gf looked thoroughly impressed.
Pretty sure dude got laid that night.
Tl;dr, Jesus eats at Applebees
Image source: [deleted]
#8
A guy I was standing near in the bar: “You know, the simple fact of the matter is, I could easily drug and [sexually overpower] any of these chicks. Most of them I wouldn’t even have to drug, because I’m obviously stronger.”
His friend: “That’s one hundred percent fact. Hell, I’d help if she turned out the be a fighter. You know that.”
I could pretend they were having a hypothetical discussion about women’s safety issues, if it wasn’t for that second guy’s reply.
Image source: Alix Weich Dahlen, Stanislav Ivanitskiy
#9
When I was at In-N-Out at 1 AM having your average post-drinking midnight meal, There was a homeless guy in the corner, quite dirty and obviously trying to subtly eat some leftovers someone left because he was hungry. Some drunk frat bros were making fun of him, telling him to go back to his hole and other insults. After a few minutes of this, the homeless guy got up, stood on his table, and literally put a curse on them. I forget his exact wording because the scene was so shocking and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing/hearing, but it was something to the effect of “I hereby curse you never to father healthy children and to die a painful death without love in the next year. You will be tortured by Satan for all eternity I swear it”. The employees called the cops and the homeless dude left.
TL;DR: Homeless Man puts a curse on some a-holes at In-N-out.
Image source: Rabbi_Koufax, Mehmet Turgut Kirkgoz
#10
When I was a bartender, I could overhear quite a few conversations. The most unnerving came when I saw a man hand another man a small brown container with a white cap. I only overheard snippets:
“… won’t remember anything.”
“Even from what happened before. Total eraser.”
“… do it again and again.”
“…. get blackouts. You don’t know what kind of damage that does.”
“… pass out? I’m not a necrophiliac.”
“No, they participate all right…”
Image source: Martyn V. Halm, Axel Breuer
#11
“Send the money back to Jamaica, or everyone’s gonna die!”
I was waiting at a bus stop when a woman walked past me, screaming this into her phone. I’d very much like to find out if they sent the money back.
Image source: JaggedJack, Karolina Grabowska
#12
Back in elementary school and middle school, this one kid would be rapidly scribbling pictures in his notebook with his face practically two inches away from the page. He would mutter extreme violent things but I didn’t think much of it. Even though he was constantly called into the school psychologists office and was into killing, he never pulled anything in school. To be honest I was glad I graduated and got away from him. He always made me nervous.
Fast forward to last year: My freshman year of college! I’m all happily relaxing in the library, when suddenly I hear that voice again. God dammit he goes to my college now ಠ_ಠ
Image source: Throwaway4MyThrowawy, Dom Fou
#13
I was sitting in my room quietly working on homework (I was in college at the time) and overheard two men (one of whom lived in the room next to me) calmly discussing the best way to [sexually overpower] me. It was 10am and they were already drinking beer. They were discussing tactics like drugging my food or drink, or physically overpowering me on my way to the bathroom, either very early or late when no one would be awake to hear me scream.
They then started discussing the vile things they wanted to do, mostly involving [harming] me in vicious and inventive ways.
Image source: AK-Grosskopf
#14
“No, shut up. Just shut up. Listen to me. Go get some trash bags and rent a Uhaul. Everything’s gonna be fine, I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” She then got up and walked out of the lobby while I exchanged horrified looks with the hotel cashier.
Image source: Shark_P**n, Jeremy Bezanger
#15
At Starbucks in a pretty affluent area. Two soccer moms are having a conversation about mom #1’s 12-year-old son [inappropriately touching] his sister who sounded close in age. It was graphic and detailed about what he did and what they were doing to stop it. They were talking in normal tones and not even being remotely secretive about this.
No, I didn’t call the cops. No one is going to believe a poor kid over rich soccer moms anyway.
Image source: howisthisnottaken, TR
#16
At Burger King one day, “And they found her dead in the river?….. Who pulled her out?…. Oh, she was murdered?” It was a guy talking very loudly on his cell phone. There was an audible sigh of relief when he left.
Image source: level 1 [deleted]
#17
I was at an airport and had to use the restroom. This was in one of the smaller terminals so there was practically nobody near where I was except for in the stall next to me. I had sat down and was going about my business when all of the sudden I hear this high, feminine giggling coming from the occupied stall, please note, I was in the men’s restroom. So I figure that some random lady got lost and ended up in the wrong restroom, but then I hear another, deeper voice telling the lady to be quiet. So I sit there for a moment, wanting to finish up as quickly as possible so I can leave before things get graphic, but I was too late when all of the sudden the guy yells: “Christ, you’ve got a d**k!” The stall door banged open and I heard the guy speed out of the bathroom, the ‘girl’ close behind him. I then took the shortest dump of my life and hurried back to my gate, my brain full of f**k. TL;DR: The Crying Game went down in the bathroom stall right next to me.
Image source: BirdHeadedPhysician, Artur Tumasjan
#18
Work in prison so there is a lot, but one inmate telling me she was going to toss poo at me unless I fed her my boogers takes the list so far.
Image source: Mr_Fffish, RODNAE Productions
#19
Not creepy, but I overheard it:
SCENE: I enter the bathroom at a bar and head to the urinal. GUY 1 is slumped in the stall over the toilet. GUY 2 pops his head in.
GUY 2: Hey Rocco, you okay?
GUY 1: Ugghhhh…. Yeah.
GUY 2: You sure Rocco?
GUY 1: Mmmmmm… Ugh… fine.
pause
GUY 2: Happy birthday Rocco.
pause
GUY 2: You sure you’re okay?
GUY 1: DO I LOOK LIKE I’M F***ING OKAY!?!
Scene
Image source: [deleted], Yena Kwon
#20
“I love you, but I can’t let you throw my baby out the window.” Said by drunk redneck lady to her male companion at a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant. She kept repeating it to the man, still have no clue what events took place in their lives to lead up to that conversation.
Image source: BeePinata, Marcus Herzberg
#21
While having breakfast one morning in 2015, at a pousada somewhere in the Northeast of Brazil, I overheard the British owner say the following to some of his friends:
“So in terms of the new law, even if the boy consents or seduces you, YOU can still be charged […] if he was underage.”
Image source: Emile Myburgh, Dan Gold
#22
‘So we were basically playing Russian roulette with the gun up my a**’ said one police officer to the other…
Image source: danbreeno92
#23
I was babysitting my 4 year old cousin not too long ago. I had been fostering a mama cat and her litter of kittens.
The kid was playing with the kittens in my living room while I was cooking lunch and I overheard her singing “Gonna catch a kitty. Gonna have it for lunch.” Over and over again.
Kids are creepy.
Image source: homicidalsquirrel
#24
A father is talking about his two daughters age 6 and 9.
Him: Yeah she has a body like a boy now but once she gets older, I’m sure she’ll have a sexy body.
Everyone in the room: err
Him: Just like her mom, you know. I know if I was a boy their age that I would be trying to be really close friends with them.
Image source: Tillman Huett-Lassman
#25
overheard a crazy hippies plan to put a oz of shrooms into 4 separate brownies and feed them to someone he referred to as the son of satan
Image source: Luchichi
#26
Two guys are talking next to me at a restaurant.
Guy 1: Dude, how do you decide if you take her to her place or your place?
Guy 2: It depends on how rough I want [it] to get.
Guy 1: What do you mean?
Guy 2: Well, if I get rough and we’re at her place, she kicks me out and I have to go home in the middle of the night. If we’re at my place, the girl can leave and I’m already in bed.
Image source: Dushka Zapata, Creative Vix
#27
This kid sat behind me in a class for the better part of a year. One day he was talking about how he got suspended for having a journal filled with the names of people he wanted to kill and how he would do it.
His rationalization of it was “better than me actually killing them!”
Image source: [deleted]
#28
Me and a friend went to the Krystal Burger on Bourbon Street one night to try and eat off our drunkness. While we’re waiting for our food to come out, a younger homeless looking guy walks up to us with some sort of walkie-talkie looking thing. We had a nice little chat about his device:
Friend: “Hey man, that’s a cool looking radio. What’s it for?”
Guy: “I can listen to WHATEVER radio signals I WANT to from all OVER THE COUNTRY!”
Friend: “Oh, that’s cool. What do you listen to? Police stations?”
Guy: “Yeah yeah…I can listen to them. That’s no fun though. The BEST stuff is from hotel workers!”
We just kind of laugh at this point and stop talking to him, but crazy guy’s found someone to talk to. He’s not letting this go.
Guy: “This thing is SO powerful. I could tune in to any camera in the country right now. I COULD EVEN WATCH YOUR SISTER MENSTRUATE!!!”
At this point, everyone in the place gets wide-eyed and stares at the guy. Me and my friend just laugh and walk out of the place chomping on those delicious little burgers.
Image source: ootika
#29
One time I was in a public men’s restroom. I was in a stall. I heard guy come in to the stall next to me. Right when he got in he says, “Mmm tasty.” Then I heard the usual diarrhea fart sounds. Then he started to say, “Oh yeah!!! Oh f**k yeah!!! Oh yes!!!” He kept saying that for at least ten minutes. He sounded like he was having an orgasm while taking a s**t. The whole situation was so weird.
Image source: gold16
#30
I was playing in an underground poker room, everything was going smoothly. The table was fun and everyone was having a good time. Chips were flying around, jokes were being made, etc… There was this one older gentleman, probably around 65 years old who would always come by and buy in for the minimum. He mostly came to socialize and the poker was secondary.
The TV was on, and they were showing footage of some swimsuit competition or something. There was a gorgeous girl on the tv and naturally all of the table starting talking about how hot she was… Then the old guy turns to me and drops this one – “I would suck the s**t out of her a** with a straw.”
Image source: LAXbound
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