There are very few things as annoying as people so arrogant and narcissistic that they think they’re far smarter than they think they are. Sadly, the world is full of men who have embraced the Dunning-Kruger effect and can’t wait to show off their ‘knowledge,’ only to end up embarrassing themselves in public.
Women vented their frustrations in a viral thread, where they shamed toxic men for the most absurd things that they have ever mansplained to them. If you think that nobody would be shameless enough to tell someone that their own name was spelled wrong, think again.
#1
A guy once argued with me for a good few minutes that the name Tina is not short for anything. My commonly used name is Tina. People around us started chuckling whenever he stated “you CANNOT lengthen it!”. I let him dig his hole a bit. Then showed him my driving licence. Christina. He just sort of stood there looking like a fish…uh… yes… well…
Image source: stoneyt2013, Getty Images / Unsplash
#2
A man tried to convince me that my house number was wrong. I was born and had lived all my life at the same address, the house number was 9, but no, ! was definitely wrong because he was sure it was 10.
(There wasn’t even a number 10 in my street.)
Image source: isabetta, A. C. / Unsplash
#3
I’ll start – my own name.
He sat beside me, at a friends wedding reception, and enthusiastically told me my name was spelled wrong. Giving me an elaborate explanation on how my name is supposed to be spelled.
His wife was terribly embarrassed and I mention it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I see them now.
Image source: madd.malice, Chip Vincent / Unsplash
Put simply, the Dunning-Kruger effect means that people overestimate their knowledge or ability in a specific area. This cognitive bias tends to have its roots in people’s general lack of self-awareness, which means that they can’t accurately gauge their skills.
“Confidence is so highly prized that many people would rather pretend to be smart or skilled than risk looking inadequate and losing face. Even smart people can be affected by the Dunning-Kruger effect, because having intelligence isn’t the same thing as learning and developing a specific skill. Many individuals mistakenly believe that their experience and skills in one particular area are transferable to another, which can worsen overconfidence,” Psychology Today explains.
Appearing confident creates the illusion of competence and persuasiveness. And seeing as many people are driven by the desire for status, power, and looking smarter than others, it is no surprise that they’ll project this (fake) sense of confidence.
However, overestimating your competence can be dangerous because it can lead you to push yourself beyond your limits, potentially injuring yourself.
#4
In a comment section back-and-forth, a man kept telling me I didn’t understand feminism. I finally asked him what he thought it was. He copied a link into a thread to an article, a definition of feminism.
I responded: “Check that byline.” He had sent me a link TO AN ARTICLE I WROTE. He disappeared quickly.
Image source: jone.lewis, Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash
#5
A guy didn’t know what mansplaining was so I went to tell him and another guy spoke over me to explain mansplaining. So I pointed and him and said ‘this is mansplaining’
Image source: haleyshandmade, Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash
#6
A man once told me that I was saying au revoir wrong. I have a masters degree in French, studied in France, and have traveled in francophone countries multiple times. He had none of that background and was so Americanly confident in his wrongness.
Image source: lynnique, Getty Images / Unsplash
“Many people would describe themselves as above average in intelligence, humor, and a variety of skills. They can’t accurately judge their own competence, because they lack metacognition, or the ability to step back and examine oneself objectively. In fact, those who are the least skilled are also the most likely to overestimate their abilities.”
Ironically, the effect is found even in individuals who are rated highly in knowledge of a skill. Even they overestimate their ability to some degree.
Staying humble and grounded requires that you continue exploring a topic you think you’re already an expert in. This way, you can recognize how much you still have to master.
#7
I’d just gotten back from vacation and was showing my friends some of my souvenirs, when the guy who sat across the aisle decided to explain to me what the TARDIS is and how it works.
Gentle Readers, my vacation was to attend a Doctor Who convention. My souvenirs included a mini TARDIS figurine and a sonic screwdriver toy.
I KNOW WHAT A TARDIS IS, POINTEXTER.
Image source: jennalynnbrown71, Charlie Seaman / Unsplash
#8
He kept mispronouncing my name as Marcia instead of Masha and when I ONCE AGAIN corrected him, he said, “Its so cute how you say your name with a boston accent”
Image source: comrademasha, Viespire / Unsplash
#9
My most recent ex told me I was wrong about Texas ever having been an independent country. I have been saturated in Texas history my entire 44 years and have been on a private tour of the Texas State Archives and seen the original maps of the Republic of Texas: 1836-1845
Image source: jamiemf300, Enrique Macias / Unsplash
Something else that you can do is to regularly question your knowledge base. Challenge yourself and look for ways that you might be wrong. In other words, you have to be willing to second-guess your conclusions instead of automatically accepting them.
It also helps if you actively reach out to actual experts who can help you fill in your knowledge blind spots. And if you’re willing to ask for and weather constructive criticism from your colleagues and friends, you’re well on your way to improving.
#10
A white man once explained to me, A brown woman who speaks 9 languages and has a degree in linguistics, how my mother tongue ( a language he did not speak) works. He was very wrong.
Image source: unstablechaosgoblin, Surface / Unsplash
#11
When I was lecturing on a bar review book 1 wrote a male student insisted I didn’t understand it and should talk to the man who wrote it.
I explained I was a co-author.
He refused to believe me. He assumed the two surnames on the cover were the name of the man who wrote it, instead of surnames the two women who wrote it.
When I opened up the book, turned to the back page and showed him my photo (and my co-author’s) he was furious.
Image source: mcg907, Mahendra Kumar / Unsplash
#12
My chronic illness, that hes never suffered from. Started to tell me how I could’ve “avoided” it. Never wanted to punch a random man in the face so bad lol
Image source: laurita.89m, Frank Flores / Unsplash
When is the last time someone tried to mansplain something to you, and how did that go? We all have some knowledge blind spots, but do you know anyone who is the walking, talking representation of the Dunning-Kruger effect?
How do you try to improve your self-awareness of your blind spots despite being so busy with so many responsibilities every day?
Share your stories about toxic and ignorant people, as well as any advice you have for dealing with them, in the comments.
#13
How menstruation worked and why I should be happy to be (at the time 54) and still having regular periods.
I’m an actual Dr. who completed medical school and residency but he knew more because his wife had gone through menopause and it was terrible for him. FOR HIM.
Image source: dr.but.did.you.die, Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash
#14
My new young male manager tried to explain to me the HR reporting system that I single handedly built for company-wide use.
Image source: hubris_hurts, Getty Images / Unsplash
#15
I was on the train talking to a friend about the day I had volunteering in a prison. I was a criminology student at the time working toward a master’s degree. A man sitting across from me piped up and started to explain my own degree to me. He was all kinds of wrong and I just turned to him and said, “I’m curious as to when you were invited into this discussion?”
Shut him up real quick.
Image source: thealawrenceauthor, engin akyurt / Unsplash
#16
I was in Prague and my friend’s Russian roommate was trying to explain how the US welfare system works to me.
I’m from the US.
I have a masters in social work. That I earned in the US.
Image source: k_eliza_89, Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash
#17
My husband once started explaining the process of getting an article he wrote published. I was employed as a magazine editor at the time. I just stared him down until he realized and stopped
Image source: mrs.loveberg, Bank Phrom / Unsplash
#18
Dated an Irish guy who confidently told the ‘correct’ way to pronounce all of the Australian capital cities. Then argued with me when I disagreed. I’m Aussie born and bred and he was living in Australia at the time
Image source: lorienb_, Joey Csunyo / Unsplash
#19
l’ve said it before but I have two national championship titles in darts. I spent probably 2 straight years in bars every night, practicing usually by myself. Men came up and tried to teach me how to play every. single. night.
It would usually start with “honey, do you even know what you’re doing? You’re not hitting any bulls.”
Image source: befernee, Zieben VH / Unsplash
#20
I know I’m not the target market for this question, but I once watched a guy mansplain to my VERY pregnant wife what the experience of being pregnant was like because he’d read a book about it. We were with a group of friends and all shut him down pretty quick.
Image source: the.plant.prof, Ömürden Cengiz / Unsplash
#21
I was at the post-funeral gathering for my mom in CO. My head was splitting from the crying and the altitude. My cousin asked what was wrong and I said I was having a migraine attack. He proceeded to tell me for half an hour that I just needed an aspirin. I have migraine disease. I have written two books for migraine patients. ASPIRIN does not help.
Image source: sweavermph, Hindustan Times / Getty Images
#22
Years ago I had a guy mansplain that menstrual cramps were all in our heads and we women make them up for attention
Image source: notoddone, Annie Spratt / Unsplash
#23
My Criminal Evidence and Procedure professor “explained” to me how I was “wrong” when I said identical twins do not have identical fingerprints.
“What do you think ‘identical’ means?” he grinned, cynically.
At the time, my major was forensics. Also, I’m pretty sure I learned this in high school biology.
Image source: the_real_oh_g, Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash
#24
A man explained to me how Tara, Ontario was named after Tara, the plantation in Gone with the Wind. I was studying Celtic mythology at the time & didn’t bother to correct him & damn near gave myself an aneurysm not rolling my eyes.
Image source: 4wingfraulein, Robert Lukeman / Unsplash
#25
Not to me but I saw with my own eyes as I stood in the TSA line last week: an old guy behind me (beside me as the line snaked around) stood there and mansplained Jesus to … wait for it. Two nuns.
Image source: goteamwood, Ithal Nadi / Unsplash
#26
Therapist had never heard of ableism before I brought it up during a session. I explained it to him. The very next session he asked if I’d heard of ableism, pulled out a VERY simplified checklist, and took over the whole hour explaining it, badly and wrongly, without letting me get a single word in. And was confused when I wasn’t as impressed with him as he was.
Requested a different therapist the same day
Image source: gothicpixie, Hrant Khachatryan / Unsplash
#27
My husband the other day explained to me, as we were ordering pizza (which admittedly we don’t do very often) that if there was something I didn’t like or something I wanted on a pizza, I could just ask when we order. I looked at him in silence… he stopped… “This is mansplaining, isn’t it?” “No, no, do go on. How does one order pizza? This WILL become a meme in our house.
Image source: jdtalowe, Arantxa Aniorte / Unsplash
#28
A man once told my sister she wasn’t the cofounder of the world’s first divorce registry platform and backed that up with an article about the founders of the world first divorce registry platform … it was about my sister and I. With our photos and everything.
Image source: genevievedreizen, Marko Slavkovic / Unsplash
#29
I had a guy argue with me about me being lactose intolerant, how it was “absurd” that I was an adult with lactose intolerance, and I must’ve been lying for attention since I had some of his queso dip (like 3 chips worth because I wanted to try it) and my turkey burger had a slice of cheese on it. 😐
Image source: authormkowens, Getty Images / Unsplash
#30
Customer services (call centre)
Him: can you tell me your postcode?
Me: *letter number, number letter letter*
Him: that doesn’t sound correct, postcodes are usually “letter letter number letter, number letter letter”?
Me: yes, I’ve lived here over 25 years, that is my postcode. 🤨
Him: no, they’re usually “letter letter number letter, number letter letter”.
Me: well mine isn’t. Try it.
Him: *typing*….oh.
Someone’s never left their city!
Image source: she_macca, Beytullah ÇİTLİK / Unsplash
#31
My (then) husband telling me when I was pregnant, that morning sickness was all in my head and not throwing up was mind over matter. The next day he stepped in cat vomit and ran to the bathroom to puke. I lovingly shouted “Mind over matter!” through the bathroom door.
Image source: corygoodrich
#32
I was explaining what hail was to a friend and this guy jumped in and talked over me and repeated the same exact thing I already said. Then he looked at her and said something about how he went to school for meteorology and needed to make sure it was right. I couldn’t help myself I said something like “okay well I took earth science in 9th grade and we still said the same thing.”
Image source: molo_lolo
#33
I had an uneducated man once explain why women weren’t competent enough to be in technical fields because of our brains and emotions or some nonsense.
I studied engineering and architecture, graduated from Georgia Tech, and have worked in engineering/architecture/construction for my entire career (15 years at that time).
Image source: stephgob
#34
I was discussing who I was considering voting for in the upcoming election (in New Zealand we get a both party vote and a local electorate vote). He scoffed at my strategy and said “do you even know how politics works?!” I have a double degree in Law and Political Science.
Image source: tiffanymmnz
#35
A chemist once tried to mansplain how advertising works. At that point, I had been working in advertising for over 10 years.
Image source: lifeinspanglish
#36
I had a doctor mansplain periods to me when I was there for a consult about a hysterectomy due to adenomyosis and antiphospholipid syndrome. Spoke to me like he was explaining it to a toddler. I was like “I’m 35, I’ve been having periods longer than you’ve been practising medicine.” Told my PCP about it and he laughed until he cried at the sheer stupidity of the other doc.
Image source: mdroberg
#37
In a comments section on Twitter a guy mansplained to me that all authors are wealthy and make lots of money and accused me of lying when I explained that this isn’t true and that indie authors exist, but even people who break into tradpub don’t always get huge advances or make a living. He still insisted I was wrong even though I have multiple novels (both self-published and small press), spent years querying big publishers, and used to have a literary agent.
Image source: lauriauthor
#38
Touched my pregnant belly and when I recoiled in horror said “it’s okay I’m a dad.”
Image source: ollieplunk
#39
That teaching is so incredibly easy and all you have to do is teach from the textbook, send a couple bad kids to the office, and boom cushy job. Y’all, he’s never taught a day in his life, I’ve been a public school teacher for 16 years
Image source: arendar2
#40
How best to have my book published. He was an unpublished author. At that time 1 had already published 28 bestsellers
Image source: sheilaoflanagan
#41
A man told me once how much women love to wear bras.
Image source: silliputti
#42
Someone once tried to teach me how to tie a square lashing with synthetic rope. I had to explain it would slip – the synthetic fibres didn’t have the necessary friction on each other. I told him he’d need to do a modified Filipino (Chinese) lashing.
To me, a former survival camp instructor, and previously scout leader for 10 years, with (now expired) qualifications in high ropes, rock climbing, and abseiling.
When I pointed out the difference, he told me that it was just a naming convention.
Image source: infoxicatinglady
#43
“Men go through perimenopause too, when our testerone decreases.” Sir, the only thing you are going through is this window when I defenestrate you.
Image source: alyraeschiff
#44
I had a guy at a party one time find out I was a professional photographer. He had just bought his first camera ever. He told me he really wanted to take “aperture photos” and when I tried to figure out what he was talking about he got angrier and angrier. I tried explaining depth of field and what an F-stop was but it just pissed him off more. Finally he left in a huff and assumed I wasn’t a very good photographer if I couldn’t do “aperture photos.”
Image source: itskatarnett
#45
Oh that one time my ex sent me a YouTube video about how drinking water might help with migraines. After a quick google search. I am a chronic migraine sufferer under the care of a doctor and KNOW my migraine triggers are atmospheric.
Image source: unstablechaosgoblin
#46
Also my own name…also call centre…
Them: and your surname?
Me: McGee (pronouncing it like M’Gee)
Them: is that M A G E E?
Me: it’s M C G E E
Them: but you said “M’Gee”
Me: yes….thats my surname
Them: but you said “M’Gee” not “MucGee”
Me: ….because that’s how it’s pronounced….?
Image source: she_macca
#47
I once had someone try to explain a job I’d been doing almost 20 years to me, frequently using the phrase, “does that make sense” in the most condescending tone I’ve ever heard.
Image source: thisisnotmyusernametoday
#48
Him: My sister’s going through this thing called menopause, ever heard of it?
Me: Yep 🙄
Him: Well, it’s when a woman’s hormones go all crazy…
Image source: lenoroar
#49
Went to the butcher’s counter one time for some spare ribs; we trim them ourselves and they’re usually a better price. I asked an employee where they were, mentioning that I saw the baby backs but didn’t see any spares. He goes “Actually, you’ll want to get baby backs”.
Me: “…no, I’d like spares.”
Butcher: “Well, spares aren’t pre-cut. You’d have to cut them yourself.”
Me: “Yes, that’s correct. We make rib tips with the trimmings. Please show me where they are.”
Image source: thesubtleslasher
#50
I go by Meg. My legal name is Margaret. My ancestors were Scottish. I grew up on the Irish South Side of Chicago. The number of people who insisted that Meg is not a nickname for Margaret and insisted on calling me Megan…. I’m the fifth generation to have my legal first and middle names. The nickname was bestowed by my grandmother in honor of her mother, who also went by Meg…. And she was born in 1888 in Scotland. But do go on about how the Irish own the name. 🙄
Image source: megtebo
#51
My alternator was giving me issues and I couldn’t start my car. I was only 1 mile from home, so a jump start would be enough to get me home. But my car was wedged between two cars and a brick wall, so I couldn’t run cables to it.
I called AAA, told him the exact issue and said I need a portable jump so I can just get home and my husband can replace the alternator at home.
He looks at my car then explains what needs to be done by repeating exactly what I just said. 😑
Image source: heatherj9603
#52
Brand new attorney explained to me why using archaic words like “heretofore” and “witnesseth” make a contract more enforceable (they don’t). This was AFTER I told him I’d practiced for 20 years and been a law professor for 10… in Contract Drafting. When I patiently explained why he was wrong, he literally said “Sorry, but you clearly just don’t understand how contracts work.” I was laughing so hard my cheeks hurt.
Image source: Icbinabq
#53
I have a pot of cactus and succulents tattooed on my forearm with the words “Don’t Touch Me” tattooed above it. When I was a bartender, older white men would grab my arm to “see it better” and then tell me it was silly and I should have gotten some other tattoo instead. And then they would act offended when I told them to quit touching me. So exhausting.
Image source: amesbaker
#54
A guy explained how to do internet searches.
Sir. I am a professional LIBRARIAN. I have a Master’s degree in library and information science.
Image source: meezergal
#55
At a convention, I was networking and a man I just met mansplained what the weather was like in my home state – a state he had never even visited. He then mansplained all about the boarding school my husband taught at, that the man had never even visited. He was wrong about everything. Everything.
Image source: akselmeyers
#56
I was trying to fix my heavily modded sims game, something had gone wrong somewhere so I was furiously googling and trying things. My (now ex) roommate walks in and asks what I’m doing. After I tell him he goes “well have you tried turning your computer off and back on, that should be your first step” dear readers, I AM IN IT. He’s a fedex driver. Felt like my head was going to explode
Image source: smaug1738
#57
I was told by a man that my first name couldn’t possibly be Katie.
That Katie is short for Katherine.
He was ADAMANT that my real name was Katherine.
Despite me telling him that my late Dad named me and why I was named Katie.
I had to pull out my licence for him to stop.
My friend even was telling him that my name is Katie. Not Katherine.
Fun fact: Mum, Dad and I despise me being called anything else but Katie. Except for 2 people that are allowed to call me Kate.
Image source: kejr_
#58
I have been mansplained Venezuela, even though I am a born and raised Venezuelan who had to flee her country after “disobeying” orders from the EMT while working as an internal control analyst and (forced) member of the bidding committee at one of the state oil company JV (empresas mixtas).
I have been “corrected” when I’ve disagreed with communism and radical socialist ideas, despite having experienced it first hand, unlike the pocket/armchair communists mansplaining things.
Image source: patty_at
#59
Big sports fan. Know all the rules. Have watched hundreds of hours of football. Was clearly watching an NFL playoff game at a party and asking my husband very specific questions about stats in the game. A man said to me ‘If that guy crosses that line, called an end zone, he’ll get six points. Then there’s an option to try for an extra point.’
Image source: k.pereira27
#60
On the day of the WFMU Record Fair nearby, a dude in a Polish restaurant in Greenpoint explained to me who the French yé-yé singer Françoise Hardy was.
While I was wearing a Françoise Hardy t-shirt.
This is not like an 8-year-old in a Misfits tee they got at Urban Outfitters because they like skulls. If you’re wearing a Françoise Hardy t-shirt, YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS.
Image source: barmyfp
#61
My ex-fiance used to tell me how if I ate meat my mental health issues would go away. I already had a diagnosis for bipolar disorder, and even if I didn’t I’m 100% sure my mental health issues are not caused by me being a vegetarian.
Image source: pempunen
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