“It’s got oats and corn and wheat. It’s the sweetest breakfast treat. It’s Maple, Maple, Maple-icious!”
For the most part, I wish the writers would stop continuing to focus on Charlie’s character on Two and a Half Men, but I actually enjoyed this episode. Maybe it was because we got to revisit some of Charlie’s jingles. The episode began with Walden singing the Maple Loops jingle and finding out from Alan that Charlie wrote it. Now Walden thinks Charlie was a genius, and he is curious why Alan doesn’t talk about him much. That sets the ball rolling for Alan to finally mourn the loss of his brother. Maybe he waited too long to do so, but whatever the reason, the mourning process makes him crazy.
I expected very little from this episode knowing that it was going to focus heavily on Charlie. Unlike past episodes, however, I found the references to Charlie to be more of a tribute to the character than a slap in the face to Charlie Sheen. Well, that was the case until the end of the episode when Alan is laid up in a psychiatric hospital saying, “Winning!”
Alan starts by sitting at Charlie’s piano, remembering all the times he watched him play it, pass out under it, and have sex on top of it. The entrepreneurial Walden gets a new business idea from this: ass coasters. The doorbell rings, and it’s a couple of men who are there to pick up the piano. As part of Walden’s redecorating plan, he has donated it to a music school for underprivileged kids. Alan freaks out: it’s the only thing he has left of his brother. Since he doesn’t want the children to keep playing piano on a slab of painted wood, he lets the piano go–but not before cleaning it out. The contents are summarized nicely by Walden: “Songs, thongs, bongs and schlongs.”
Later, Jake comes home and joins Alan on the floor where the piano used to be. Jake thinks the house was invaded by piano thieves and he complains about losing his good bong–apparently not all transgressions were Charlie’s. Alan pretends to not hear that. Jake reminisces about Charlie and how he never treated him like some stupid kid–more like a stupid person. He’s a bit upset that his uncle didn’t leave him his car, but he did leave Jake with some lessons. One lesson was if it’s burning, bleeding or oozing, go see a doctor ASAP. The most important thing Jake learned from Charlie is that he doesn’t want to be like him. His uncle was lonely, and Jake has decided that he wants to be married and have a family. He has also learned that he doesn’t want to be like Alan, either. Alan agrees on both accounts.
“Do you have a number for this Dr. Asap? He’s not listed anywhere.” Oh, Jake.
Alan begins his Charlie transformation by going to the bar and ordering bourbon: a Charlie drink. Walden finds him and orders ginger ale. The bartender loves Walden, just like every other woman. Alan and Walden discuss why every woman loves him. Alan thinks it’s because he’s tall, rich and good-looking. Walden thinks it’s also because he’s nice, but Alan knows that Charlie wasn’t nice and he got all the women, so that has nothing to do with it. I’m not satisfied with either of these explanations, but since it looks like this is the way it’s going to be, I’ll have to let it go. Another woman sits down at the bar and asks Alan who his friend is. To prove his point, Alan says, “He’s a blood-thirsty psychopath with a panel van and a rag soaked in chloroform.” She likes him anyway.
Back at the beach house, Walden is with the girl from the bar and Alan has decided that he couldn’t score a woman like that if his semen cured cancer. Alan starts talking to his dead brother. He tells Charlie that he would have given anything to be like him even for a day. Suddenly, a dog runs up on the deck, followed by his beautiful female owner. As though Charlie has granted Alan his wish, Alan begins to talk like Charlie.
Woman: Is this your house?
Alan: Not exactly.
Woman: What do you mean?
Alan: I mean after we fall in love and get married, it’ll be ours.
The transformation is complete.
The next morning, Walden comes downstairs with the girl from the bar. He tells her that casual sex with no commitment is growing on him. She didn’t realize that’s what was happening. His departing words are, “Thank you for the intercourse.”
Alan wakes up with the dog owner. He is suddenly hot stuff. As she leaves, Alan goes into the kitchen to get an early morning drink and says he can’t remember the woman’s name. In Berta’s words, “It’s walking like Zippy, but it sure ain’t talking like Zippy.”
Wearing a bowling shirt (did he keep Charlie’s clothes?), Alan walks in on Jake and Megan making out. Instead of freaking out, Alan gives some Charlie-style advice about watching out for a bun in the oven and taking her out for a nice dinner (he gives Jake a dollar).
Jake freaks out that his dad is acting like his uncle and goes to Walden for advice. Bad idea–Walden explains that Alan is mourning the loss of Charlie just like he is mourning the loss of Bridget. While you try to get through hard times, Walden says you carry on and have casual, hot sex. Jake is living in a nightmare where everyone is turning into Charlie.
The conversation on the deck between Alan and Walden is where Alan goes off the deep end. His life is suddenly wonderful and he’s fully convinced that he is Charlie Harper. He says things like “agree to disagree,” and even refers to his brother as a parasitic leech. Later, he walks in on Walden in the shower. After all, that’s Charlie’s shower. He has no idea who Walden even is.
Walden isn’t as stupid as he seems, and he takes matters into his own hands. He tells Alan they’re going on a trip to Vegas. It’s the ideal con for someone who thinks they are Charlie Harper. Alan continues rambling Charlie-isms even after Walden drops him off at a psychiatric hospital. Even when he’s been admitted to his room, he starts talking on a nonexistent phone to a nonexistent concierge. He wants a bucket of ice, a bottle of scotch and two–no, three–Asian hookers. “Winning!”
Despite the focus on Charlie, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked this episode compared to earlier episodes this season. I think it could have served the show well earlier in the season, but maybe it was better to save it until some of the drama died down and Walden’s character became established. This was a funny and appropriate way to send off the character of Charlie, although with Alan now hospitalized, I’m sure we’re not quite done yet.
Follow Us
