“No, we can’t name her that because there was a girl in middle school by that name who bullied me. No, no, that’s my cousin’s name. That rhymes with a bad word, and kids will definitely figure it out by second grade. No, I don’t like that name. That’s too common. That’s too long and difficult to spell. I give up! Let’s just make up a name!”
If you’re a parent, there is a good chance you’re familiar with the experience of spending months searching high and low for the perfect name for your little one. Choosing a name can be extremely daunting at first, when you’re unsure of what will be common or popular 5, 10, or 50 years from now, and if you had to deal with name-based bullying as a child, you want to protect your kids from the same fate. But when in doubt, I always like to say “better safe than sorry”. Because if you get too creative with your child’s name, you might end up paying the price by being mocked online…
Below, we’ve gathered some of our favorite posts from the Name Nerds Jerks subreddit that is dedicated to name-shaming, as well as an interview with the group’s moderator team to gain some insight about the community. As its description states, “No name is safe.” So be sure to upvote all of the posts featuring names that you can’t believe are actually on birth certificates somewhere out there, and then let us know in the comments what the most ridiculous baby names you’ve ever heard are.
Keep reading to also find an interview with Sherri Suzanne, professional baby name consultant and founder of My Name For Life. Enjoy this list of names that we can only hope are satire, and then if you are looking for suggestions to send your arch-enemy when they are naming their next child, check out Bored Panda’s last article on this same subreddit right here.
#1 Louder For The R/Namenerds At The Back
Image source: Express_Roof_2385
#2 Son Of A Ditch
Image source: ClearBrightLight
#3 ~*literaleigh*~
Image source: giglbox06
#4 Or There’s Always Natalawn
Image source: trottinghobbit
#5
Image source: SpeedyakaLeah
#6 Hureigh!
Image source: notgonnatakethison
#7 This Sub Has Ruined Me. I Saw This And Immediately Started Thinking Up Nicknames
Image source: SuedeBlade
#8 ✨Pia✨
Image source: celiab3delia
#9 Someone’s A Superfan
Image source: Mapper9
#10 Grandma Jr
Image source: catnatomy
#11 Rock, Middle Name Bob
Image source: Catalyst138
#12 &y
Image source: meezandthanks
#13 Ooof. The 9 Of Them Also Live In A 200 Square Foot Bus
Image source: catkarpet
#14 Planning Ahead
Image source: jenbosen
#15 Mom Sent Me This Text Today. Possibly The Worst Name I’ve Seen
Image source: CallDownTheHawk
#16 Song Is Forever Changed In My Head Now
Image source: Desperate-Trust-875
#17 Username Checks Out
Image source: ebba_and_flow
#18 From Hp Sub
Image source: Budgiejen
#19 This Post On Facebook Got Me. This Is (Some Of) The Future
Image source: ravioli-garlicbread
#20 “Simple” They Want To A Name A Child “Simple.”
Image source: mechele2024
#21 Some On-The-Nose Landlord Names From The 11th C
Image source: WeirdMedieval
#22 I Know Nick Cannon Gets Posted A Lot, But Baby #9 Is Confirmed On The Way… Here Are Is Other 8 Kids Names
Image source: DoofusTinyRick
#23 11 Babies Named Arson Last Year
Image source: desbellesphotos
#24 I Think I’ve Found The Perfect Name!
Image source: St_Eddas_Curse
#25 This Mom Needs Her Naming Rights Taken Away
Image source: srd425
#26 Every Day On This Sub I Must Practise Restraint
Image source: delidaydreams
#27 I Hope This Is Fake
Image source: smashsmashkey
#28 I’m Sorry….truxtyn??????
Image source: theorekid
#29 When You Change The Spelling Of A Common Name And Get Surprised That The General Public Can’t Pronounce It
Image source: desbellesphotos
#30 Found In My Facebook Bumper Group
Image source: brontesloan
#31 Medical Terms As *Pretty Girl Names*
Image source: YetiYogurt
#32 Tl;dr: We Pulled A Name Out Of Our Collective A** For Our Kid And Are Outraged That People Mispronounce It
Image source: Karmitely
#33 List Of Names At My Lunch Lady Friends Elementary School…
Image source: quarterlifecrisisgir
#34 Please Tell Me This Is One Of You Trolling
Image source: Chachasims93
#35 Because Who Would Hate The Name Notch?
Image source: Albatross-Foreign
#36 This Is Literally Not What Synestesia Is. Literally Anyone Can Feel A ‘Vibe’ From A Name
Image source: MrsChess
#37 How Do You Even Fix Your Mouth To Say These Words??
Image source: flashlightbugs
#38 Saw This And I Love It Lmaoo
Image source: bathedinperfume
#39 My Father Will Hear About This (If You Know, You Know)
Image source: DaisyMaeMalfoy666
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