A healthy relationship is all about communication, something we’ve hammered home in post after post. Some interpret that to mean being 100% open all the time, but as experience shows, there is some value with knowing when to speak up or when to just let things slide.
Someone asked “people in long term healthy relationships: what’s something you’ll never tell your partner?” and the internet shared its best examples. So get comfortable as you scroll through, hope none of these hit too close to home, upvote your favorites and add your own stories to the comments down below.
#1
Her grandpa passed away and she still thinks she saw him last as he told her he loved her. Her whole family believes it. In reality I was the last one seeing him alive and hearing him talk as her mother forgot her purse in the room and I grabbed it for her. She will never know that his last words were never “ I love you” to her but a “take care” to me. I will take that to my grave.
Image source: noname_user217, Pressmaster / envato (not the actual photo)
#2
That when he released his mother’s ashes into a stream some of them stuck to his legs and ended up on the towel he dried off with. I had to scrub the towel and rinse the last remnants of his mother down the bathroom sink.
Image source: orensiocled, Image generated by Bored Panda using Gemini (not the actual photo)
#3
That the funny videos he finds on instagram and shows me is one that I’ve already seen before. I always act like it’s the first time I’ve seen it and laugh at it with him like it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen (90% of the time I’ve already seen it).
Image source: mandiizorr, nebojsa_ki / envato (not the actual photo)
#4
My husband installed a fan in our bathroom a few years ago and then we developed a mold problem. When the contractors came to fix the mold issue, they told me whoever installed the fan had done it backwards somehow so it was blowing air back into the bathroom, not sucking it out. I know he would beat himself up sooo badly over it so I’ll take it to my grave.
Image source: lvs301, africaimages / envato (not the actual photo)
#5
Sometimes when she’s had a rough day, she’ll rant/vent about work. About 60% of the time, I think she’s the one who is being unreasonable; she has a very idealistic view of how things should work. Of course, I don’t say that.
Image source: Bitter_Ad8768, dvatri / envato (not the actual photo)
#6
This is kind of a silly one but I went on a day trip out of state and accidentally locked my keys in the trunk of my car. Called my husband and he called aaa for me and then I waited for about an hour for them to get to me. AAA guy shows up, and starts pulling handles to the doors before attempting to use his tools. My back passenger door was never locked 🤣 I apologized over and over and the guy told me it actually happens all the time, that’s why he always tried the doors first. It’s been about a year since then and I’m sure my husband would think it’s hilarious but I’d never be able to live it down so I’m taking it to my grave haha.
Image source: blondevies, LightFieldStudios / envato (not the actual photo)
#7
He didn’t see our daughter’s first steps. Those happened the weekend prior, when he was out of town, attending the memorial service for his best friend’s dad. He felt guilty going (first time leaving us overnight since she was born).
Image source: iggynewman, YuriArcursPeopleimages / envato (not the actual photo)
#8
When my husband asked me for examples of engagement rings I like, I also sent him a picture of a style that I do NOT like. He misread my text and designed a ring that exactly matches what I said I didn’t like. I’ll never say a word. I love it anyway 🥰.
Image source: Ok-Sherbet3702, YuriArcursPeopleimages / envato (not the actual photo)
#9
My son lost my husband’s Switch cartridge for Metroid prime. He was so upset he couldn’t find it-not like it was a rare item, it just bugged the hell out of him and he was mad at my son for being careless. I bought a new copy in secret, and put the cartridge in an “unusual place for a cartridge but easy to spot” location so my husband and son could find it and he could rest easy. It isn’t a huge thing but it’s probably the only deception in our entire marriage and i know for those little things can bug you forever-it’s worth 60 bucks or whatever for him to not stew about it at night hehe
Image source: chuubastis, Ramses Cabello / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#10
I genuinely don’t believe in keeping secrets from my husband. However, his mom passed away at home on Mother’s Day in 2017. We knew she was end-stage cancer, and she had refused hospice completely. His dad got up at 6:30 a.m. that morning and she was still alive. She wanted some water so he gave her some. The problem was, her throat was already weakened and she was not able to swallow anymore. It may have been the neurological situation stopping it, too. Neurological shut down and muscle relaxation and failure are both completely common in end stage active dying.
Ultimately, the cancer is what the official cause that was listed on coroner report. But because of the “suspicious circumstances” it had to be treated a little more carefully. I was told directly from the coroner that it most likely suffocation from the water that was stuck in her throat, cutting off airflow so she was no longer able to breathe. Suffocation, rather than an actual cease of breathing or heartbeat.
My father-in-law hadn’t known that could be a thing, he’d give her a sip of water to help her be comfortable because she asked for it. Then he had walked away to go make coffee and go to the bathroom, and when he came back she was gone, so it makes absolute sense. Fortunately, after a conversation with me, the coroner did not feel like it needed police investigation.
I have never told any of them that conversation ever took place, and I never will. That’s just not something that needs to be said. It doesn’t change the fact that their mother/wife/grandmother had terminal cancer.
Image source: Bluntandfiesty, Swanky Fella / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#11
Chronic pain sufferer. I never tell him how much pain I’m really in all of the time. We’ve been together 17 years now, and Tues is our 8th wedding anniversary.
I’m always conscious of not putting to much on him, he loves to do things all the time, and sometimes i just need to sit.
Image source: norm228, africaimages / envato (not the actual photo)
#12
That I absolutely hate his bucket hat and I think he looks ridiculous in it. He’s worn hats like that since before we met so I just decided it was a part of him long before we married. I’m still tempted to throw it away sometimes to see how long it takes him to replace it. 😂.
Image source: No-Calligrapher3043, wirestock / envato (not the actual photo)
#13
I have my own house cleaning supply stashed in my work car. She’s very environmental friendly (which is good) but she buys all this bulk refill cleaning stuff that honestly doesn’t clean and I hate it all and it’s super expensive. So when I clean when she’s gone I use my own stuff.
Image source: TunaBoy3000, anatoliycherkas / envato (not the actual photo)
#14
I slept with her twin sister when we were dating.
Image source: oldschool_potato, nd3000 / envato (not the actual photo)
#15
I will never tell her that her absolute favorite meal, the signature dish she has been cooking for us for years, is actually pretty bland and ordinary. She gets so genuinely excited to cook it for me, and seeing the joy on her face while she serves sit is honestly the best part of my week. The food itself might be a five out of ten, but the love behind it makes it a masterpiece.
Image source: jaspreetkaur33654, choreograph / envato (not the actual photo)
#16
When I first moved in with him, I found a bunch of his ex-gf clothes and shoes in the closet. I put everything in a plastic bag, along with the stupidest shirt of a half naked woman holding a beer, and took it to goodwill. This was the 90’s. Never told him. Years later, we saw someone wearing that same shirt and he said he used to have one but his ex threw it away because she hated it. Edited: they’d broken up 2 years before.
Image source: JustAnOkDogMom, Okrasyuk / envato (not the actual photo)
#17
That I knew when he was going to propose. He still says, “you had no idea!” But I did know, and I knew what ring he bought me too. I’ll act like it was a surprise forever :).
Image source: DryHovercraft5165, Wavebreakmedia / envato (not the actual photo)
#18
I disagree with some of their Doctor Who opinions. it’s not worth it, cos like? each to their own and i CAN see where they’re coming from.
Image source: FelixMarshallamgai, Disney plus
#19
That i sometimes have a crush on someone. No need to tell him because I never act upon it and just wait until it’s over. Secretly enjoy feeling butterflies in my stomach without endangering a 30 year relationship.
Image source: Sure_Strawberry1872, YuriArcursPeopleimages / envato (not the actual photo)
#20
It makes me sad that my partner has enough anxiety and a low enough social battery that he doesn’t usually join me for things like parties or weddings. I love him and I want him to be comfortable, but I get tired of answering “Where’s your husband?!?” We’ve been married for almost 11 years and I’m really lucky that this (and my MIL) are my biggest complaints!
Image source: ms_earthquake, Image-Source / envato (not the actual photo)
#21
When his mother passes away, I will act upset.
I will not be.
She’s done unforgivable things to him his entire life. He has turned the other cheek and doesn’t believe in grudges.
I do.
Horrid woman.
Image source: laurnabeth
#22
That the 7 years I was single and live in a small studio at the beach was the happiest I’ve ever been. Hands down nothing has come close to it.
Image source: Defsarcasm
#23
That I found out (by accident) he buys a lot of my favorite chocolates, hides them (all on the same spot lol) and gives them to me one by one as a surprise out of nowhere when we’re at home chilling.
Image source: amarillopatitox
#24
He gained 100lbs in the first few years of marriage. I didn’t realize how unattracted I was to him until he lost the weight recently. Now I think he’s the hottest thing since sliced bread.
Image source: lordhuron91
#25
I’ll never tell her how often I think about my exes.
Not because I miss them — but because comparing “what if” in my head makes me realize how lucky I am to have her. She’s genuinely the best choice I’ve ever made.
Some thoughts are better kept in the “mental museum” 😂
What’s something you’ll take to the grave?
Image source: Wanderingwind007
#26
Im in a Long distance relationship & on the days when i don’t have time to make coffee at home or stop for coffee on my way to work (i’m a nurse) he will doordash coffee to me at work. the first time he did this, he asked me what kind of coffee i wanted (iced americano w/ cream and syrup) but it got delivered as a plain americano. it was so sweet and thoughtful and he asked me how my coffee was so i told him it was perfect .. since then he just repeats the same coffee order via door dash and its always a plain coffee but i will never tell him. i keep a thing of coffee creamer at work now just for these coffees.
Image source: Few_Mycologist508
#27
My wife and daughter both think that I’m not aware that they’re stealing Hershey kisses out of my candy stash… I don’t even eat the chocolate, it’s just for them when it’s that time of the month. I will keep buying a new Hershey kisses for as long as it takes to keep them happy.
Image source: Se7enFtMan
#28
How much I dislike and get annoyed by his mother. He already has his personal issues with her, nothing major just some questionable parenting growing up in the 80s lol. For me is the personality that annoys me, she loud, entitled, and a very typical boomer, if you know what I mean 😫 But she’s always been a fantastic grandmother to out kids, and for us family is very important so we try to stay connected and visit at least every few weeks. I know (because he’s very vocal about it) that she annoys him too, but also know that he loves her and wants to have a good family relationship. I see more value investing on that rather than complaining for no real reason.
Image source: Strong-Blood-1783
#29
That him missing a tooth gives me hillbilly vibes, and I wish he would get it replaced.
Image source: Ok-Price7882
#30
I love to sing. I think I’m alright, above average for someone untrained. Singing makes me happy. I used to sing showtunes to my dog.
My current partner has perfect pitch. He has never and will never hear me sing.
Image source: CharlieMorningstar
#31
That I miss being single sometimes .
Image source: No-Mail831
#32
That because of my PTSD from a past relationship, I dream about my ex almost every single night. Sometimes several times a night.
Granted, they are mostly nightmares with various negative plots that align with my traumatic experiences.
But sometimes, we are still deeply in love. We are reunited after his arrest, we profess our grievances & embrace in a passionate kiss. Sometimes we are still living together in my dreams, having a happy afternoon while blissfully in love. I feed him chocolates & comb my hands thru his hair that just feels so very real.
Until I wake up in my marital bed.
He’s even a counselor, but I just don’t need to go there. Ever. So nearly every morning amidst the nightmares, I add another to my roster of dreams about the man who destroyed me. I hope I can forget soon.
Image source: appalachianenigma
#33
That he means rapport when he says repertoire. I corrected him once and he keeps doing it, so I’m just letting it go. Love him so much.
Image source: FairyCompetent
#34
I will never tell her how terribly she loads the dishwasher. it’s the most chaotic thing I’ve ever seen.
Image source: itsalotman
#35
I named our daughter. I’ve named every member of our family (kids, dogs, cats, etc.). When we started trying for our 2nd kid I told him I liked the name and I guess he forgot because he tells everyone that he came up with the name. Nope that was me but I’ll let him have it.
Image source: LunchGloomy4400
#36
I lived in Las Vegas for all of my 20s and worked in casinos on the Strip. My whole work crew went out partying every single night after work. My fiance is from South Korea and there are so many things that she just wouldn’t understand from my wild days. Nothing I did then affects the much more conservative life I live now. Some things are just better left unsaid.
Image source: StoragePrize3992
#37
Where I hide my favourite snacks.
Image source: Pipe-International
#38
I know you mean some type of juicy secret, but I will never tell my husband anything unkind. I am his safe space and he is mine. We never make jokes about each other or say mean things to each other, like some couples do. It’s a choice we’ve made and have never broken.
Image source: PrairieMuse
#39
That one pair of pants of theirs that I *really* hated.
Image source: flugualbinder
#40
I told my wife last night that her chicken noodle soup is better than my mothers.
NOBODY COOKS BETTER CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP THAN MY MUM.
Image source: Occupy_scott
#41
That when they say they are going to cook dinner im only slightly happy because I know they will be in and out asking about timings and temperature s and and getting stressed and using every pan and utensil we have and they ll all still be in the sink tomorrow.
Image source: Ok_Introduction_1882
#42
If they go under before I do, I’m following them.
Image source: DT2699
#43
My hours played stats for various games.
Image source: Xonth
#44
That I am so annoyed that he complains every dam day about something. It’s become draining.
Image source: Muted-Passenger8343
#45
How I interacted with some women before she came along. Loving her made me a better man.
Image source: yoursandforever
#46
That I dislike his mother even more than he does and I’m glad she’s no longer with us.
Image source: MfromtheWood807
#47
I hate going to concerts if I don’t know the artist but will always pretend to like it so I don’t ruin it for him.
Image source: Nervous_Knee_3249
#48
That I hate their selfies/ mirror pics. I think my partner is so attractive…but those photos? I honestly think they’re actually ugly. They won’t stop sending them to show off their outfits (which are stylish), etc. We’ve dated for years. My brain cannot understand why this happens. But I’ve actually gotten repulsed before. I don’t get it, but I love them and in person I’ve never thought this before.
Image source: march_on_wards
#49
Two nights ago she came home after a rough day. She didn’t say much at all to me so I let her have that space. Yesterday she came home in a better mood and talked my freaking ear off. Like making up for the previous night and the details from yesterday too. It was a lot. Like a lot of stuff I didn’t need to know. I just listened…
She’s freaking amazing though and it’s always worth it.
Image source: Vivid-Professor3420
#50
For 30+ years I have never liked my wife’s music. When a song comes on and she starts to sing I will let it play just to hear her singing no matter how much I dislike the song. Sometimes I turn on her music to simply listen to her singing. God I love that woman.
Image source: S0biepan
#51
A lot of the petty arguments she has with the kids (they are 19 and 15) come about because she picks the fight.
Image source: frikkenkids
#52
How deeply I despise his mustache.
Image source: SwampChickenAsteroid
#53
When me and my wife started dating she invited me over for dinner. The dish consisted of chicken breast in a crock pot with a jar of salsa and black beans poured over rice. She called it Salsa Chicken. It was very early in our relationship so I ate it with gusto even though it was horrible. She asked me my thoughts and I told her it was delicious, one of my favorites. We’ve been married 20 years now and salsa chicken still makes an appearance on the menu every now and then and I push through a bowl smiling the entire meal. I’ll never tell her that it is hands down the worst thing she’s ever made. The crazy part is that she’s Italian and actually an amazing cook.
Image source: southboundclown
#54
That I’m not always SO FULL when I insist you have the rest of something that we both agree is amazing. I want you to have it.
Image source: herefortherecipes47
#55
Sometimes he isn’t my partner in my dreams, and I feel like it’s cheating so I don’t tell him. I am a vivid & lucid dreamer – a big chunk of his life is spent listening about my crazy dreams – he has no clue I sometimes live an accidental double dream life.
Image source: Ok-Wolverine-4660
#56
I’m a very prolific fanfic writer, and have been for over fifteen years. My most popular fic is in the fandom for his favorite show, that he thinks I only half-watched. He knows I’ve published spicy romance novels, but the fanfic thing I’ll probably take to my grave. .
Image source: vivianhey
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