An affair can be one of the most heartbreaking and difficult things for a relationship to recover from. It often shows that one partner consciously chose to break their loved one’s trust, all for the sake of temporary pleasure.
For many couples, there’s no going back from this, but for some, there might be a path forward. The folks in this list are those who’ve been the victim of their partner’s infidelity and still chose to stay with them. They share what happened after forgiving the cheater.
More info: Reddit
#1
We both cheated on each other. We were doing a lot of d***s at the time. Now we both are sober. It goes hand in hand with our recovery and we have been doing great. That was 7 years ago now.
Image source: likes_soccer, Polina Tankilevitch Polina Tankilevitch
#2
After a two year affair, I ultimately forgave him. We did a ton of (years-long) work through individual counselors and couples counseling. I rebuffed any notion of the idea of “once a cheater, always a cheater” because my husband had done the work to change
Fast forward 8 years…I uncovered another 18 month affair. So, I guess the “work” he did didn’t stick. So…once a cheater, always a cheater.
Image source: applestoapples2015, SHVETS production
#3
Forgave a cheating partner once because I thought we could work through it. In the end, it didn’t turn out great. The trust was never fully there again, and it always felt like there was this shadow hanging over us. We tried, but eventually, the relationship just fizzled out. Forgiving was one thing, but forgetting was impossible. It taught me a lot about what I need in relationships, though.
Image source: SaraMoonrise, RDNE Stock project
#4
She cheated when we dated. Then I caught her with my next door neighbor after 10 years of marriage and two kids. Stayed again. Recently found out about some suspicious activities she did on a girls trip a few years ago. It happened a long time ago but it’s new to me and a reminder of how loving and living with someone who isn’t capable of respecting you is just a horrible way to live your life.
Image source: OkDelay2395, Andrea Piacquadio
#5
The cheating didn’t stop. He just started being more careful about locking down his phone and computer. Divorced his sorry a*s not long after.
Image source: for8835, I’m Zion
#6
She cheated again twice (as far as I know anyway). I broke up with her after the third time, I was being a fool for long enough. Lesson I learned is never forgive cheating, not even once.
Image source: DalvinCanCook, Inzmam Khan
#7
They do it again. The only way to get a cheater to stop cheating is with a serious consequence. One like losing the person you love. Unfortunately the person who TEACHES the person not to cheat will not be the one who gets a faithful relationship. The next person does. Which stings, but if you can only keep your pride or walk away with nothing wouldn’t you rather keep your pride?
Image source: ImNotTheInstigator, Keenan Constance
#8
We’ve been together 30+ years. Cheating was ~25 years ago. Some really frank discussions and some level of distrust got us through the initial part. We were young and outgrew it. Doing great these days, but I still wouldn’t recommend it.
Image source: bobdob123usa, Antoni Shkraba
#9
Long term very serious girlfriend. She lived 4 hours away. I did my best to be there as many weekends as I could. She went out with her friends one night, got drunk and hooked up with a former crush. She told me immediately. I drove down, we talked all night about it. I decided I could move past it and promised myself if I was going to move past it I would never bring it up in disagreements or use it against her, and I didn’t. We were a lot stronger for the rest of the time we were a couple, maybe 3 years. I had a dying parent and couldn’t move to where she was. The parent died 3 months after we broke up. I’m with the greatest partner I could ever imagine now, so I’m where I need to be.
Image source: stratdog25, RDNE Stock project
#10
It was absolutely horrible. I would rather shove a hot poker in my a*s than go through that again.
Image source: Superfragacalalistic, Wonderlane
#11
I don’t know if he ever cheated again, but the trust was so broken that it didn’t matter. My fuse got short, self-esteem got low, and the whole relationship turned into a toxic whirlwind. 0/10 would not recommend.
Image source: trophy-tabby, Antoni Shkraba
#12
Not forgave but forgiven. When I was 16 I accidentally ended up trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man 10 years older than me. Basically, my naive 16 year old brain thought we’d date for a week and break up, like all my previous teenage “relationships”. His adult brain thought we were going to get married and have kids. When I attempted to break up with him, he threatened to [end] himself. I was young and naive and fell for it. Stayed with him over a year and felt increasingly trapped. I eventually cheated on him with a boy, my own age, I really liked. Then I had this great idea. Tell my boyfriend I’d cheated, he’ll leave me and I’ll be free!!!!!”. So I told him. He said, without batting an eye, “I forgive you and I am going to stay with you but you now have to work extra hard to make up for it and prove your love for me.”. I lasted a few more months before I finally decided I didn’t care what he did and I was leaving him. He pushed me out of a moving car when I finally did it.
Image source: AriasK, Madelyn Emery
#13
I forgave her but we are still divorced. I realized the person I loved changed into someone I did not recognize.
Image source: rmorlock, cottonbro studio
#14
Happened once and let it slide and now it’s been a couple months and still no cheating but it makes me feel Insecure I thought the feeling of insecurity would go away but it hasn’t yet.
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#15
Wasted 8 years then she filed for divorce after doing it who knows how many more times. After cheating frankly it’s over don’t waste your time begin the rebuild.
Image source: NotGuyInVideo, RDNE Stock project
#16
You never look at them, or your relationship, the same way. You’ll never get back what you had. We broke up because I caught him being unfaithful again.
People are capable of change but it would take a lot of hard work and therapy, and I’m still not convinced you ever get the magic back.
Image source: katniss92, cottonbro studio
#17
I live in constant resentment. He didn’t physically cheat but emotionally cheated. He was still hung up on an unrequited love. I struggle so much with wishing I could go back in time and ending it. But I stupidly got married because I thought I forgave him. I constantly wish I’d win the lottery just to get a divorce. Children are involved and I’m scraping by in hopes one day I can escape this.
He was everything I thought I wanted but the slow creep up on realization he’s not what you needed.
Image source: anosabo_mujer, Ketut Subiyanto
#18
I moved past it. Happened again but find out way after the fact. Done. Over and out.
Image source: Financial-Flow-7034, cottonbro studio
#19
Never had a cheating partner but my dad did (happened to be my mom btw). She cheated on him before I was born and he found out and decided to forgive her but when they moved to Indiana and had me a few years after my birth she got caught cheating again so he filed for divorce.
Image source: Background-Let8227, cottonbro studio
#20
I found I could forgive the actual [intercourse] part of the cheating, but couldn’t really get over the lies, breach of trust, and lack of regard for my health. So eventually I ended the relationship.
We’re actually still on somewhat friendly terms (overlapping friend circles, so we’ll chat if we end up at the same gathering). And we’re both happily married to other people, hopefully they learned from the experience. .
Image source: InannasPocket, Elegant Images
#21
5 years of really hard work and also
accepting that this would be a different relationship than (the one I thought I was in) for the last 15 years. You start over, in a lot of ways.
I don’t judge anyone for how they handle infidelity trauma. Just make the choices you want, for you.
Image source: ChickenNoodleSoup_4, Alena Darmel
#22
We got married and now are getting divorced.
Image source: puppy_spies, cottonbro studio
#23
It ended like five years later. Still one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and wish I’d done it sooner.
Image source: Cold-Slice-7145, Andrea Piacquadio
#24
7 years later she left me for another man.
Image source: quetejodas, Alena Darmel
#25
I cheated first after six years of marriage. We reconciled. She cheated four years after that. Separated briefly then reconciled.
Our 17 year anniversary is in June.
Image source: swiftlodgingeclipse, George Dolgikh
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