Let’s be real: mothers-in-law get a bad rap, but sometimes they really do deserve it. Whether they’re being overbearing, stomping all over your boundaries, or not-so-subtly hinting that their child could have done better, they can be a bit… extra.
One woman turned to an online community to vent after her mother-in-law accused her of “destroying” her relationship with her son and grandkid because she and her husband want to move cities for better jobs. Now the old woman is begging them to stay.
More info: Mumsnet
Mothers-in-law don’t have the best reputation, and the endless punchlines about them prove it
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One woman, stuck living 4 hours outside Stockholm with a boring job, was thrilled when her husband suggested moving back to the city
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Things got even more exciting when she got offered a great job in Stockholm that pays twice her usual salary
Image credits: faststocklv / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The couple planned to move back to her family home but, when they told her husband’s mom about it, she ranted that the move would ruin her relationship with her son and grandkid
Image credits: ItsTimeToFly
After the elderly woman literally begged them to stay, tears and all, the woman turned to an online community to share her frustration
When the original poster (OP) landed a dream job in Stockholm (double the salary and right in her field) she and her husband were thrilled. They’d been living four hours away in a small town with no opportunities, and the plan was simple: move into OP’s old (but empty) family home, start fresh, and give their daughter a better future.
There was, however, one massive roadblock. Her mother-in-law. She’s 61, fiercely attached to her son, and has grown dependent on him for emotional support. We’re not talking normal communication, more like calling him daily for tiny decisions, from picking an IKEA side table to choosing the right time slot for a dentist appointment.
When the couple shared their moving plans, she completely unraveled. She cried, begged, and insisted OP was “destroying her relationship” with her son and granddaughter. OP’s husband tried to calm her down, but every boundary collapsed the moment tears appeared. OP started to worry. Would this emotional blackmail end up sabotaging their future?
Even when the couple traveled abroad for a vacation, her mother-in-law called incessantly about the most arbitrary things. She refuses to problem-solve or make basic decisions on her own, and her son caves every time, afraid of upsetting her. Frustrated, OP is now left wondering if going through with the move makes her unreasonable.
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Here’s the thing: going after a better life, not just for you, but for your kids, doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you a responsible partner and parent. After all, opportunities like the one OP wants to pursue don’t come along all that often. So, how can the couple get out from underneath their problematic parent? We went looking for answers.
In her article for PsychCentral, Marissa Moore writes that dealing with a guilt-tripping parent can not only be exhausting, but it can also challenge your overall mental health. Some signs of a guilt-tripping parent to look out for include passive-aggressive behavior, constant reminders about your past mistakes, and disagreement with most of your decisions.
When you’re dealing with parents who resort to guilt-tripping, it may be hard to know how to cope, but you can start with setting clear and firm boundaries, validating their feelings (without compromising yourself or your boundaries,) or, if all else fails, getting the help of a family therapist – they’ve seen this all before.
Well, OP’s already signed the contract and her mind (if not her husband’s, yet) seems made up. So, how can her mother-in-law cope with the inevitable change? According to NHS Talking Therapies, learning to accept what has happened and focus on adapting to new circumstances is key to dealing with life’s curveballs. Finding healthy coping mechanisms, focusing on the present, and having a routine can work wonders too.
We reckon it’s time OP’s mother-in-law learned to stand on her own two feet instead of standing in the way of her family’s dreams. Perhaps not having her son to lean on for every little thing will force her to start solving her own problems for a change.
What do you think? Should OP put her foot down and tell her husband to stop being such a mama’s boy, or give up their shot at a new life? Share your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers urged the original poster to put her family first and blasted her mother-in-law for being so selfish
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