There’s nothing better than a cup of coffee in the early morning before heading off to work. It fends off the sleep demons and sets you right for the day. There are many coffee types you can enjoy, probably just as much as coffee quotes in this list. If you’re more of a tea person, not to worry! Have you ever wondered what to say to a coffee lover? Well, you can freely use these quotes to bond with your coffee-drinking friends over a cup.
You might wonder, how on Earth are there quotes about coffee? Well, when there are so many people who love a specific thing, sayings about it are just bound to appear. And that’s what happened here: a full list of funny coffee quotes by coffee drinkers from all over the world. Ranging from morning coffee quotes, newfound excitements for this universal drink, and a love for coffee so deep that there’s a new birthstone in town—a coffee bean.
So, no better time to make a cup of coffee than now! Sit back, relax, and enjoy our collection of coffee quotes along with your drink. Be careful, it’s hot!
#1
“Life is too short to drink bad coffee.”
#2
“What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.” – Henry Rollins
#3
“I just realized: I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.”
#4
“My birthstone is a coffee bean.”
#5
“Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.” – Captain Janeway
#6
“People say money can’t buy happiness. They lie. Money buys coffee, coffee makes me happy!”
#7
“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” – Flash Rosenberg
#8
“I gave up coffee. It’s almost worse than giving up a lover.” – Sandra Bullock
#9
“No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for ‘Before Coffee.’ ” – Cherise Sinclair
#10
“Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat: it exists, but that doesn’t make it right.”
#11
“Caffeine isn’t a drug; it’s a vitamin.”
#12
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee.”
#13
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”
#14
“Life’s too short to drink cheap coffee.”
#15
“I’d have coffee, sometimes six cups, along with the shake, and I’d have sugar in my coffee. By then I would be pretty jazzed up, and I’d start writing down ideas.” – David Lynch
#16
“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” – David Lynch
#17
“I think the key to the start of any good relationship is to remember how the other person likes their coffee.” – J. Lynn
#18
“Coffee is a language in itself.” – Jackie Chan
#19
“Live life today like there is no coffee tomorrow.” – Meik Wiking
#20
“To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.” – Hugh Jackman
#21
“Nothing says coffee like six in the morning.” – Lorelai Gilmore
#22
“Reading in bed can be heaven, assuming you can get just the right amount of light on the page and aren’t prone to spilling your coffee or cognac on the sheets.” – Stephen King
#23
“May your coffee kick in before reality does.”
#24
“I like coffee exceedingly…” – H.P. Lovecraft
#25
“Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring coffee.”
#26
“I want someone to look at me the way I look at coffee.”
#27
“Deja Brew: The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before.”
#28
“Did I run out of caffeine or are you really that boring?”
#29
“Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?” – Jean Kerr
#30
“The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.”
#31
“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.” – Ronald Reagan
#32
“He was my cream, and I was his coffee – And when you poured us together, it was something.” – Josephine Baker
#33
“Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office.” – Michael Scott
#34
“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” – T.S. Eliot
#35
“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.” – Louisa May Alcott
#36
“Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.” – Holly Black
#37
“Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.” – Johann Sebastian Bach
#38
“The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.” – Sir James Mackintosh
#39
“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” – Abraham Lincoln
#40
“Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.” – Justina Chen
#41
“I’ll read my books and I’ll drink coffee and I’ll listen to music, and I’ll bolt the door.” – J.D. Salinger
#42
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.” – Alphonse Allais
#43
“Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future.” – Ian Somerhalder
#44
“When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee.”
#45
“You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together.” – Adam Gopnik
#46
“Life happens, coffee helps.”
#47
“Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants.” – Nanea Hoffman
#48
“Coffee in England is just toasted milk.” – Christopher Fry
#49
“I sometimes get excited at night thinking of the coffee I’ll get to drink in the morning. Coffee is reason to wake up. There are other reasons, of course. But coffee is the incentive, at the very least.” – Annie Clark
#50
“Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes.” – Ankita Singhal
#51
“Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister.” – Bob Irwin
#52
“Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee.”
#53
“What do you want? Just Coffee. Black–like my soul.” – Cassandra Clare
#54
“Drinking beer in a coffee mug. I feel like I am cheating on my coffee.”
#55
“Coffee connects us in so many ways–to each other, to our senses, and to the earth that supports the coffee trees.” – Rohan Marley
#56
“To make me happy: Make me coffee, bring me coffee, be coffee… coffee.”
#57
“I’m not one of those people who wakes up and thinks, ‘Bring on the day!’ I have to have about seven pints of coffee before I’m even remotely awake.” – Stacey London
#58
“My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.”
#59
“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.” – Dave Barry
#60
“I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.” – Burt Lancaster
#61
“Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.” – Fran Drescher
#62
“Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.” – Charles J. Sykes
#63
“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” – Lewis Black
#64
“What on earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee?” – Anthony Trollope
#65
“To do good work one must eat well, be well housed, have one’s fling from time to time, smoke one’s pipe, and drink one’s coffee in peace.” – Vincent Van Gogh
#66
“I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Baileys straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up.” – Megan Mullally
#67
“Coffee is the best medicine.”
#68
“I don’t know how people live without coffee, I really don’t.” – Martha Quinn
#69
“I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.” – Abigail Reynolds
#70
“There is no life without water. Because water is needed to make coffee.”
#71
“I put coffee in my coffee.”
#72
“I like my coffee like I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you.” – Jac Vanek
#73
“Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.” – Edward Abbey
#74
“It’s when you look over the top of your coffee cup that you can smile at life.” – Anthony T. Hincks
#75
“Never underestimate the power of a good cup of coffee.” – Ursula Vernon
#76
“There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee.” – Rian Aditia
#77
“Doctors found traces of blood in my coffee stream.”
#78
“Caffeine and sugar—the two basic food groups.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
#79
“A cup of gourmet coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent.”
#80
“I’m going to start measuring the complexity of coding tasks in coffee cups. ‘This was a five-espresso algorithm.’”
#81
“I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.” – John Van Druten
#82
“Like most of the world’s population I’m into coffee, but in a properly big and important way. My perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.” – Jimmy Carr
#83
“I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up at night.” – Jarod Kintz
#84
“I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up at night.” – Jarod Kintz
#85
“Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.” – Jessi Lane Adams
#86
“I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.” – Harry Mahtar
#87
“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?” – Cassandra Clare
#88
“I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, and the walking, and the words-putting-into-sentences doing.” – Lorelai Gilmore
#89
“We want to do a lot of stuff. We’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.” – Jerry Seinfeld
#90
“I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.” – Clark Gable
#91
“I’d never met coffee that wasn’t wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
#92
“Humanity runs on coffee.”
#93
“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” – Steven Wright
#94
“No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.” – Sheik Abd-al-Kadir
#95
“I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.” – Terri Guillemets
#96
“I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
#97
“Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.”
#98
“Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.” – Terry Pratchett
#99
“It doesn’t matter where you’re from – or how you feel… There’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee.” – Gabriel Bá
#100
“Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed.”
#101
“Caffeine – it maintains my sunny personality.”
#102
“A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.” – Alfred Renyi
#103
“Never steal a man’s coffee.” – Anthony T. Hincks
#104
“Coffee first. Schemes later.” – Leanna Renee Hieber
#105
“People don’t seem as annoying when I’ve got coffee.” – Tommy Cotton
#106
“Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.”
#107
“It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.” – Donna Favors
#108
“How far behind would technology be, if no one ever discovered coffee?”
#109
“Politics now is rather like going into Starbucks for a coffee.” – Rory Bremner
#110
“Decaf? No, it’s dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream.”
#111
“This coffee tastes like mud! Well, it was ground this morning.”
#112
“Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?” – Steven Wright
#113
“When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.” – Helen Hayes
#114
“I am a coffee fanatic. Once you go to proper coffee, you can’t go back. You cannot go back.” – Hugh Laurie
#115
“Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes.” – Alexander Pope
#116
“My dream is to have a house on the beach, even just a little shack somewhere so I can wake up, have coffee, look at dolphins, be quiet and breathe the air.” – Christina Applegate
#117
“Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.” – Jonathon Swift
#118
“A cup of coffee–real coffee–home-browned, home ground, home made, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the Java: such a cup of coffee is a match for twenty blue devils and will exorcise them all.” – Henry Ward Beecher
#119
“Coffee is a lot more than just a drink; it’s something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup.” – Gertrude Stein
#120
“If I could just find one person who I felt that way about—the way I feel about coffee—then I think I’d be in a content relationship.” – Taylor Swift
#121
“Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.” – Earl Wilson
#122
“If it wasn’t for coffee, I’d have no discernible personality at all.” – David Letterman
#123
“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.” – Dave Barry
#124
“Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.” – Thomas Jefferson
#125
“My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that.” – Jarod Kintz
#126
“This left me alone to solve the coffee problem—a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.” – David Sedaris
#127
“I was taken by the power that savoring a simple cup of coffee can have to connect people and create community.” – Howard Schultz
#128
“The road to success is paved in coffee.”
#129
“Three cups of coffee a day keeps the doctor away!”
#130
“Coffee, unless it is very good and made by somebody else, is pretty intolerable at any time.” – Iris Murdoch
#131
“Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.” – Terri Guillemets
#132
“Coffee is a kind of magic you can drink.” – Catherynne M. Valente
#133
“Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning.”
#134
“I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge.” – Jennifer Lopez
#135
“We busy ladies need our coffee fix in the morning. My day doesn’t really start until I’ve had my Starbucks latte.” – Heidi Klum
#136
“I drink coffee. Without coffee, I probably couldn’t write.” – Jonathon Ames
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