From the outset, “Please Don’t Ask, Please Don’t Tell” embraces Black-ish‘s lesser qualities. The episode opens with Andre making a blanket statement about African-Americans and homophobia, immediately establishing itself as a story that lives in a previous generation (not to mention, you can apply the same statement to ANY racial community, really). And from there, the first and second acts of “Please Don’t Ask” do itself no further favors as it tries to tell a story of a woman – Dre’s sister Rhonda, played by Raven-Symone – coming out to her family through the lens of a straight man who clearly doesn’t understand gay people, something that reflects itself in aspects of the episode’s writing, like Rhonda’s girlfriend wearing a mechanic’s suit for the entire episode.
There are still small moments where “Please Don’t Ask, Please Don’t Tell” exhibits bits of charm – unfortunately, they’re buried underneath. Part of it comes from the scope of the episode, quickly moving away from blanket cultural “observations” (aka “hackneyed stereotypes”) to tell a story about the Johnson family, and the secondary plots, be it Bow’s running “Eryah Ba-DONT!” joke or Diane’s long con on Jack, are terrific. When Bow’s appealing to Dre’s saner sensibilities in talking to his sister, the episode provides an entertaining, if predictable, look at sibling acceptance, from Dre’s compartmentalizing of Rhonda’s life into safe categories (her girlfriend is her “roommate”), to how their relationship is affected because they can’t honestly discuss a huge part of his sister’s life.
And yet, Black-ish is taking a much more sterilized approach to homophobia in families than it thinks itself to be. Again, Black-ish‘s self-righteousness gets in the way of its storytelling, undercutting it all with out-of-date humor. A lot of this comes from Ruby, of course, as Lewis’s performance is, yet again, masterful, but feels distinctly out of place on a show that openly purports itself as trying to avoid every single stereotype she openly portrays. It undercuts any serious point the script tries to make about the mother, and it oddly avoids the huge, obvious religious elephant in the room, save for a throwaway joke comparing homosexuality to polyester fabrics and shellfish, hinting at the hypocrisy, but not really attacking it in any kind of meaningful way. So all that’s left is Lewis’s over-the-top performance, and with no Pops around to balance out the generational gap between parents and grandparents, her comedy feels desperate to fill a hole the writing of the actual story can’t fill.
Even the resolution feels tacked on: we don’t see the difficult, emotional part of their conversation – which doesn’t even appear to be that engaging, the two nonchalantly discussing whether she’ll go to Rhonda’s wedding or not. Dre gets accomplishment sex, and everybody goes away happy. In the end, “Please Don’t Ask” is just a story about Dre high-fiving himself over how “progressive” he is for outing his sister to his mother without her permission, a sister whose girlfriend wears a freaking mechanic suit, and who Rhonda doesn’t show the slightest bit of actual affection for in the episode (they literally don’t even touch either other at any point in the episode; that’s how “forward-thinking” this episode is). “Please Don’t Ask” even pats Black-ish‘s label mate Modern Family on the shoulder for bringing rich white people into the fold of rich, white gay lives; Dre’s boss hated gay people until he watched the show, which I’m assuming is how ABC thinks all of America feels about Modern Family and its pair of gay panic stereotypes.
It’s frustrating how self-aggrandizing “Please Don’t Ask” is; it doesn’t exactly tell a nuanced, funny, or engaging story about a family learning to see a key member in a new light. There’s no actual conflict here, just a parody of an actual, interesting discussion about the generational gap and the changing landscape of sexuality in America. Instead, we get Dre and his sister playing basketball, giving each other this lame, “urban” sign of unity (two daps to the chest, and a peace sign… do any siblings actually do this?). I wish Black-ish had embraced its stunt casting of Raven-Symone a little more earnestly.
There was potential for a great episode with “Please Don’t Ask,” but outside of a few moments with Dre, the opportunity is largely wasted, which is too bad, because everything around it, from the office comedy to Junior’s recurring, obvious realizations (and the magic of Diane, of course), is some of the best material Black-ish has offered in weeks. Unfortunately, it’s buried under another mediocre attempt at broad comedy, appropriating the intensely personal journey of Dre’s sister into an opportunity for Dre to sleep with his wife. To say “Please Don’t Ask” is misguided is an understatement.
Other thoughts/observations:
– I can’t stress how much I love Bow and Diane in this episode – they’re good enough that they can almost eclipse the putrid story at the center, despite how little screen time they’re given (Charlie and Junior are great, too – can they get a spin-off together?).
– Why is there always exactly one white woman working in Dre’s office, and why does she always change to neatly fit the conversation at hand? Dre’s conversation with his co-worker would have more weight if she was someone he interacted with on a daily basis. Plus, the ad scenes could use some consistent feminine energy, something this character’s brief appearance exudes, even if its just to act as an expository mouth piece for the writers.
[Photo credit: Nicole Wilder/ABC]
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