Your teens years can be a rollercoaster ride. You’re testing boundaries, your hormones are all over the place, and you’re doing your best to figure out how to fit in with what’s cool and avoid what isn’t. No wonder teens have a reputation for being moody.
One woman, whose 13-year-old brother constantly mocks her, finally reached her limit and told her parents there was no way she was going to babysit him while they went on vacation. Now, her dad is mad, so she turned to an online community for advice.
More info: Reddit
There’s a reason people call adolescence the “Terrible Teens,” but that’s still no excuse for acting like a jerk
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One woman’s 13-year-old brother has a nasty habit of mocking and insulting her endlessly, bringing her to tears in the past
Image credits: seventyfour / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite his rotten behavior, her dad still asked her to babysit him, along with her grandma, while he went away on vacation with her mom
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Then the grandma pulled out, which meant the woman would have to take care of the terrible teen for a lot longer, something she wasn’t prepared to do
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When she told her dad she wasn’t comfortable taking on the emotional stress, he had a meltdown, so now she’s turned to an online community to ask if she’s being a jerk
Family obligations can get tricky, especially when emotions run high. A 22-year-old original poster (OP) recently shared her dilemma after her dad asked her to babysit her 13-year-old brother so he and her mom could enjoy a 50th birthday trip. At first, the plan was split between her and their grandma, that is, until grandma revealed she’d be away.
The issue? Puberty has hit the younger brother hard, and according to OP, it’s not just mood swings. She describes constant insults, name-calling, and behavior that feels more like bullying than sibling teasing. Even during a recent family vacation, his relentless mockery left her in tears, which he only ridiculed her further for.
OP explained that she’d already told her dad she couldn’t take on the responsibility, especially since her brother openly admitted he’d break the rules by inviting friends over. She stressed she didn’t want the responsibility (or the emotional toll) of managing his bad behavior. Despite this, her dad lost it when she wouldn’t budge.
She offered to help find alternative solutions, but her dad refused and accused her of “running away from responsibilities.” Now, she’s left feeling guilty but also drained by the situation, so she turned to netizens for a sense check.
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Who can blame OP for wanting to dodge the drama? Her brother sounds like an absolute nightmare, right? Would she even be in this mess if her parents had actually spent some time and effort raising the terrible teen better? We went looking for answers.
According to Psychology Today, research begun by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s identified three main parenting styles: authoritarian, indulgent, and authoritative. Later studies added a fourth: neglectful. Every parent does not neatly fit into one of these four categories, but they describe the approaches of many.
Authoritarian parenting is about sticking to rules, a dominating style, and a lot of control. Indulgent parenting is distinguished by attentive parents who provide plenty of warmth and interaction but few rules and constraints. An “anything goes” attitude is typical of indulgent parents, and parents seem more like friends than parents.
Authoritative parents encourage their children to be independent but also set limits and boundaries. Finally, neglectful parenting is when parents barely assume a parenting role and are happy to let the tablets and TV do the babysitting.
In her article for Mayo Clinic, Candace Nelson writes that if you find that your child is acting out, you might need to adjust your parenting style. Expert Hannah Mulholland suggests thinking back to your own childhood and what worked for you and what didn’t.
It looks like OP’s parents have got some work to do if they’re going to tame their tantrum-throwing, toxic teen. Maybe having to sacrifice their vacation because he’s a terror will be an overdue reality check.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think she has a point, or should she just suck it up and buckle to babysitting? Share your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers seemed to agree that the woman was not the jerk in the sticky situation, and had some stern words about her parents’ obvious poor parenting
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