Kristi Noem’s husband, Bryon, spoke negatively about his wife during his secret online relationship with Shy Sotomayor.
The husband of the former US secretary of homeland security was controversially exposed by The Daily Mail as having a double life connected to the “b*mbofication” scene.
The scene is known for people transforming themselves into real-life Barbie dolls by undergoing extreme breast surgery or wearing fake breasts.
Bryon Noem was exposed after maintaining a years-long online relationship with adult entertainer Shy Sotomayor
Image credits: Kristi Noem/Facebook
Bryon allegedly maintained an on-and-off affair with Sotomayor, a 30-year-old adult entertainer, paying her thousands of dollars to interact with him for nine years.
Sotomayor reportedly discovered Bryon’s identity late last year, as he had contacted her using the aliases Jason Jackson and Chrystalballz666.
During one of their conversations, Bryon told Sotomayor that she was “so much better” than his wife and that he didn’t “think [his] family stands a chance compared to [her].”
“He needed to just talk and talk, and it felt more personal than I was comfortable with,” the adult entertainer told The Daily Mail.
Image credits: Bryon Noem/Facebook
Experts warned that Bryon online behavior could have easily exposed his wife to blackmail.
“If a media organization can find this out, you can assume with a high degree of confidence that a hostile intelligence service knows this as well,” said former CIA officer Marc Polymeropoulos.
“’They approach the person and say, if you work with us we won’t expose this, and if you don’t, we will. That’s espionage 101.”
The affair, tied to the “b*mbofication” scene, allegedly involved him paying tens of thousands of dollars
Image credits: raelynnrileyxx/X
Bryon told Sotomayor that it “didn’t matter” that she knew who he was.
“F*** your family,” the woman texted Bryon in November, later calling Noem and her allies “gross.”
“Love that,” he texted back.
“Besides the fact of who your wife is, no one is prettier than me. No one is as powerful,” she continued.
“F***ing true,” he wrote.
During a phone conversation shared by The Daily Mail, Bryon told Sotomayor that he loved her.
“So much better than your wife, aren’t I?” she asked.
“You’re so much better,” he replied, adding, “I can see us leaving our spouses for each other.”
Leaked messages show Bryon speaking negatively about his wife, telling Sotomayor she was “so much better”
Image credits: raelynnrileyxx/X
In a separate conversation, he reportedly told Sotomayor, “You know what I want?… To be seen with you. … I don’t give a f**k about anything else… It’s time we been seen together.”
According to the woman, Bryon first contacted her through X (formerly Twitter) in 2016 when she was 21.
Bryon allegedly liked hearing her talk about her other married clients who were “bored of their wives.” She said, “I think that gave him some sort of comfort that he wasn’t alone.”
Image credits: raelynnrileyxx/X
The insurance company executive abruptly cut off contact with Sotomayor around 2020, a year after his wife became the Governor of South Dakota, and reconnected with her in October 2025, using the alias Jason Jackson.
Sotomayor said she grew tired of how demanding Bryon became and how frequently he wanted to see her. Their interactions were also growing more romantic, with Bryon asking her about her favorite films and food, which she disliked.
Sotomayor discovered his real identity after running his phone number through an internet search
Image credits: U.S. Department of Homeland Security
Eventually, her husband urged her to run his phone number and post office box address through an internet search, and she discovered his real name.
“I felt he was very hypocritical for standing ten toes on American family values while he was in my messages about wanting to be a trans bimb* b***h,” she said.
On January 31, after Sotomayor confessed that she knew his identity, Bryon called Noem “a good person” but said it was “true” that Sotomayor was better than her.
Kristi Noem is said to be “devastated” for the scandal affecting her marriage and family
Image credits: Kristi Noem/Facebook
The leak of Bryon’s photos and conversations continues to spark heated debates. While many people, like Sotomayor, argue that it highlights contradictions with his seemingly conservative lifestyle and his wife’s views, others blasted the exposé as a violation of privacy.
Kristi, the former secretary of homeland security under President Donald Trump, has been married to Bryon Noem since 1992. The couple has three children.
A representative for Kristi told the New York Post, “Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time.”
People discussed Bryon Noem’s affair and debated whether exposing his private messages crossed a line
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