Movie monsters can appear rather intimidating on the big screen or even at home on one’s TV, but much of this has to do with the fact that they’re designed to be absolutely terrifying and in some cases even give a person pause as they think about their own humanity. When applying logic to movie monsters however there are plenty of them that wouldn’t be able to exist in the real world because of one limitation or another. With some monsters it’s kind of obvious why they wouldn’t make it, humanity simply wouldn’t allow the existence of something so inherently dangerous that would seek to wipe out life on the planet as we know it, such as the Thing or other shapeshifting monsters. But with other creatures the simple dynamics of their bodies and how they would need to work just wouldn’t be be possible. One has to think of how a living body works and how it would function in the case of several creatures in the movies that simply never get much of an explanation when it comes to how they function.
Here are just a few monsters that likely wouldn’t fare too well in the real world.
5. The Blob
People might want to argue with these since a few of them are fan favorites and have been for a while. But the Blob is an amorphous creature that simply oozes over everything and is apparently impervious to most damage since it has no real organs, can repair itself, and dissolves anything it touches. The problem here though is locomotion and the fact that despite its size it doesn’t move that quickly. The updated version of the monster did gain a little more mobility, but it retained the same weakness to cold that had defeated it the first time around. With something this humongous and not entirely wise to the ways of the world other than realizing it can roll over anything and anyone it wants, coming up with a line of attack shouldn’t be much of an issue.
4. The Invisible Man
A fairly convincing argument that is of course explained away by movie magic is that the Invisible Man would be effectively blind since every part of his body is invisible, including his retinas, which happen to need to absorb light in order for human beings to see. This would render him visible in a way and therefore kind of ruin the effect. On top of that however, as we’ve seen with the new and older versions of the movie, being invisible and therefore able to do pretty much anything a person wants would open the door to a whole new psychosis that would likely tempt just about anyone and make them sloppy, meaning sooner or later they might become psychotic. It’s a theory anyway.
3. Frankenstein’s monster
The act of bringing something back to life has long been debated and Mary Shelley only heightened the dispute when she wrote her book since the manner in which Victor Frankenstein brought his creature to life is pure science fiction and fantasy. Dead flesh does not reanimate, and if it did, there’s more than just sewing body parts together to consider. There are muscles, sinews, tendons, ligaments, organs to be connected (that can possibly reject each other or be rejected), and many, MANY things that can go wrong. Her idea of bringing the monster to life was a definite moral conundrum, but from a realistic standpoint the bolt of lightning might fry the creature to a cinder before animating it.
2. The Wolfman
Back in Lon Chaney Jr.’s day it might have been a little simpler. His teeth grew sharper, his fingernails became claws, and he was covered in fur. That’s all changed in a big way since now werewolves actually add mass and their bodies reshape themselves in what sounds like an agonizing process as bones are breaking and reshaping at speeds that simply aren’t healthy or conducive to swift movement afterwards. Likely, a werewolf in today’s movies, even with rapid healing that might put Wolverine and Deadpool to shame, would probably be on the ground whimpering for several hours or more after a transformation that took only seconds.
1. Godzilla
Have you ever seen how quickly big lizards move? There are exceptions, especially in the water, but Godzilla would need to sun himself on a beach with an atomic bomb going off every few minutes to get the kind of energy he would need for his heart to pump blood to his extremities as he would need, and moving his own bulk would require an enormous effort simply to get on all fours as those at the Business Insider mention, let alone stand up and terrorize an entire city. Movie magic erases the need for most of this since he’s a titan and he’s just that powerful, but common sense says that not even that massive tail would be enough to balance on and keep him upright.
This is why a lot of people don’t enjoy applying reality to the movies.
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