It almost sounds as though Leah Asmelash and Brian Ries of CNN might be hoping that the plan being devised to storm the always infamous Area 51 could be a joke, but there’s been enough of a buzz lately that indicates that someone might be foolish enough to try it. Feel free to roll your eyes and shake your head as the lot of us continue to hope that this is one of the many hoaxes that the internet have played host to as of late and one that will be shut down quickly when it becomes evident that it simply can’t happen. Area 51 has long been a location that many people feel is a hub of government activity that has to do with alien remains and a cover-up that is simply epic at this point. Facebook users have been signing on in mass numbers apparently since this idea was first floated onto the internet on the ragged and musty wings of conspiracy, and as of now it would seem that half a million or more users have decided to channel their time and effort into the madness.
Because if you really want to uncover a government conspiracy it’s always wise to let the government know you’re coming ahead of time, unless of course you happen to think that Zuckerberg is going to stop the US government from monitoring his site in order to keep those conversations secret. Area 51 was actually stated to be a military site in 2013 but as you can imagine people who love to think that what they see and hear is not even close to being trustworthy weren’t going to buy that hype. The march was still bound to be on since it would seem that people are tired of the supposed secrets, the lies, and the possibility that they’re having the wool pulled over their eyes. But I can’t help but think of this line from Men In Black from the great and wise agent K.
You have to admit that K knew what he was talking about, and despite this being fiction it’s the best way to try and explain why a group of alien-inspired, conspiracy-believing individuals forming a mob to storm a military site is a bad idea. The mob mentality is something that has already been proven as difficult to manage and less than a great idea. On top of that the manner in which a mob usually has to be dealt with tends to become a bit of drama that people don’t want despite the fact that they can easily guess that dealing aggressively with the US military isn’t going to end well. Even thinking about what might happen if this is in any way real is kind of depressing since it would become a rather terrifying meeting of an immovable object and an irresistible force since a mob storming Area 51 would likely find that the military wouldn’t take too kindly to being pressed in such a way.
Soo Yun from ABC News offers up some truly moronic missives from the organizer of this message that they will approach the facility in a Naruto-like fashion, meaning a stealthy, swift run with their arms thrust behind them, as comical a description as anyone could give. But the idea that follows on the heels of that one, that they will run faster than the US military’s bullets should they prove violent, is enough to cause one’s eyes to widen and wonder just how moronic this idea is going to get before it’s finally revealed to be a giant hoax to get people riled up. Much like Cassidy Boon and her cries of rape and continued racism/sexism, and anything else she can think of, this hoax seems as though it might be meant to bump up someone’s social media account and create a level of popularity that will amount to a full fifteen seconds of fame when all is said and done. If it is real, then it’s easy to assume that the military has other means that will be used to deal with a possible mob, and they won’t involve fatalities. Don’t get it twisted, the mob will regret ever setting foot within a hundred yards or so of Area 51, as crowd control is bound to be the order of the day if the troops feel threatened in any way. But given the type of arsenal that the site might feature it’s possible that the mob could be made to limp away, blinded and bruised but still very much intact.
Plus, look at it this way, by broadcasting the idea all over social media it would seem that the likelihood of this being a hoax is even more real. Despite what people might think, the US government and military are not run by complete morons that don’t monitor various social media feeds that might be deemed important. If the mob ever got within a mile of the site without being contested it would be a miracle, Naruto-like stealth or not. Likely it’s a hoax as Hannah Sparks of New York Post would agree with, but if it’s not hopefully there will be some video feed of the ‘crowd control’. Bring the popcorn just in case.
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